Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

The spoken exchange at the beginning of Something Got Me Started by Simply Red.

I have such a strong response to this I can't listen to anything else by them, and Mick Hucknell give me the absolute creeps, although I know nothing at all about him.

Lehrer was a satirist and wrote that song precisely to show up all the songs in which a man is vile but for some reason that's ok. I mean, he also wrote "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park", and "So Long Mom, I'm Off To Drop The Bomb", but I am reasonably sure he was not in favour of cruelty to animals or of nuclear war. And then there is the Irish Ballad in which he is taking the piss mightily out of the whole American "it's Irish so it's great!" attitude. I am particularly fond of the last verse.

THE IRISH BALLAD
words and music by Tom Lehrer
About a maid I'll sing a song,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
About a maid I'll sing a song
Who didn't have her family long.
Not only did she do them wrong,
She did ev'ryone of them in,
Them in,
She did ev'ryone of them in.

One morning in a fit of pique,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
One morning in a fit of pique,
She drowned her father in the creek.
The water tasted bad for a week,
And we had to make do with gin,
With gin,
We had to make do with gin.

Her mother she could never stand,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
Her mother she cold never stand,
And so a cyanide soup she planned.
The mother died with a spoon in her hand,
And her face in a hideous grin,
A grin,
Her face in a hideous grin.

She set her sister's hair on fire,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
She set her sister's hair on fire,
And as the smoke and flame rose higher,
Danced around the funeral pyre,
Playin' a violin,
-olin,
Playin' a violin.

She weighted her brother down with stones,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
She weighted her brother down with stones,
And sent him off to Davy Jones.
All they ever found were some bones,
And occasional pieces of skin
Of skin,
Occasional pieces of skin.

One day when she had nothing to do,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
One day when she had nothing to do,
She cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew,
And invited the neighbors in,
-bors in,
Invited the neighbors in.

And when at last the police came by,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
And when at last the police came by,
Her little pranks she did not deny.
To do so she would have had to lie,
And lying, she knew, was a sin,
A sin,
Lying, she knew, was a sin.

My tragic tale, I won't prolong,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
My tragic tale I won't prolong,
And if you do not enjoy my song,
You've yourselves to blame if it's too long,
You should never have let me begin,
Begin,

Also Build Me Up Buttercup is a chirpy tune not so chirpy lyrics

Why do you build me up
Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down?
And mess me around
And then, worst of all
You never call, baby
When you say you will

This didn’t really register until I heard the Frank Turner. On whom, I would have suggested his There She Is as a heartfelt tune from a slightly needy man, but then he predictably left his wife for a younger woman and now I can’t listen to it without thinking “oh, fuck off you dick”.

Close, but it’s The Ship Song.

Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down
We make a little history, baby
Every time you come around

Come loose your dogs upon me
And let your hair hang down
You are a little mystery to me
Every time you come around

We talk about it all night long
We define our moral ground
But when I crawl into your arms
Everything, it comes tumbling down

Great thread OP.

For me its Father Figure by George Michael. Maybe i misunderstand it but when he says. " i will be your father figure, put your tiny hand in mine" im like hmmm. But it seems to get worse when he says " sometimes love can be mistaken for a crime" . Im like ewww. So understand that he must have been talking about gay relationships possibly. As in some places they are a crime. But it really sounds creepy at first listen and so unbalanced.

When you look at the lyrics to Jealous Guy written down, without the beautiful music, they’re pretty ropey too:
I was dreaming of the past
And my heart was beating fast
I began to lose control
I began to lose control
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh now, I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy

I was feeling insecure
You might not love me anymore
I was shivering inside
I was shivering inside
Oh I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh now, I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy

I was trying to catch your eyes
Thought that you was trying to hide
I was swallowing my pain
I was swallowing my pain
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh now, I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy
Watch out - I'm just a jealous guy
Look out, baby - I'm just a jealous guy

Apologies if I missed it upthread, but "He hit me and it felt like a kiss" 1962

Carole King allegedly on the credits. Gah!

Thirded, I’ve found it creepy since my teens but people always wang on about what an amazing love song it is 😬

Push by Matchbox 20 😭

I Want You by Kings of Leon:

Home-boy's so proud, he finally got the video proof
The night vision shows, she was only duckin' the truth
It's heavy I know, the black guy with the gift down below
A choke and a gag, she spit up 'n came back for more

I've lost who asked about songs where the woman kills the man - "Never Again" by Nickelback, though it's also in the context of an abusive relationship.

Just heard Nick singing this in Colin From Accounts.

I always thought this, and then read about Dolly's explanation, which is that it was gently mocking her husband because Dolly and he had an in-joke that he and a red-headed bank teller always flirted when he went to the bank. I thought that was kind of sweet.

So many 60s songs, mostly about young girls or 'nasty' girls that 'run around'. There's one that Tony Blackburn plays nearly every week on sounds of the sixties. I don't know who it's by or what it's called, but it goes
Have I the right
To kiss you
Have I the right
To touch you

I always shout at the radio when it comes on!

Maybe a bit niche, but "If You Want To" by Dadi Freyr should go in the healthy column. Chorus as follows:

If you want to do
I want it too
But if you don't want to
I don't think we should

But it was written for Johnny Cash's first wife, who he definitely wasn't faithful to. And apparently still wasn't faithful to June Carter, the love of his life (we went to see The Ballad of Johnny and June this week)

I think The Proclaimers are good on the healthy side. As well as the aforementioned 500 Miles and of course Sunshine on Leith, there's Let's Get Married:

And I'll be the one
Who's by your side
I'll be the one
Still taking pride
When we're old if they ask me
"How do you define success?"
I'll say,
You meet a woman
You fall in love
You ask her and
She says "Yes"

Their love songs just feels like the singer simply, straightforwardly love the woman they're singing about.

(I'm not familiar with all their work, they e been going a long time, and now I'm scared someone will pop up with horribly misogynistic Proclaimers lyrics and I'll be all sad.)

Love that song @AnniesFrangipaniin a similar vein think Flowers by Miley Cyrus is just fabulous!
I still buy myself flowers even though I’m in the most loving and committed relationship

this thread (which I love btw) reminds me of how hard it was to find an appropriate first song for my wedding. So many songs that seem like love songs have some really sketchy elements.

we landed on ‘I get the sweetest feeling’ by Jackie Wilson which I think is unproblematic.

On the other hand, I heard ‘Better the devil you know’ a few months ago and properly paid attention to the lyrics. It’s quite depressing how many songs are about women putting up with shitty cheating men.

For calling out unhealthy relationships “Put Him Out” Ms Dynamite.

Also from her “Now U Want My Love”

Her album A Little Deeper is over 20 years old and a favourite I still listen to regularly

I adore that song especially as I know the meaning

The song I hate most because of the shit message is "working my way back to you" - I used to mess around and make you cry, it made me feel like a man inside? Just no girl, tell him to fottfsof and then fosm!

Also a second nomination for Nuno and Extreme with "more than words", the song that basically says if you don't put out you're dumped. Ugh.

surely they must have used this at some point in MadMen

It would be a clever way of saying she's gone to America but... I don't think it means that. It's a reference to the fact Sir Walter Raleigh introduced tobacco to the UK due to his travels; not sure he discovered America, that would have been Colombus.

There's a 60s era song I heard recently - maybe Beatles - where the bloke is singing how 'I'd love you more than any other guy'; not sure these days that is much of an inducement; it would suggest all manner of lovesick stalkers would have pole position when it comes to a woman's affections, if you follow that logic.