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Original poster

Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

388 replies

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 12/09/2026 09:59

As I was cleaning the house this morning I was musing on those songs that come on the radio that you've been singing along with for years where you suddenly actually listen to the lyrics and either think 'well you sound very sensible' or 'intervention. NOW'. Any one got any suggestions? The ones I came up with first were

Healthy - Respect by Aretha Franklin. I know it's a cliche, and the guy she's singing about sounds like borderline not a keeper frankly, but I love the line 'I ain't gonna do you wrong, cause I don't want to'. She's all in, but she's still telling him how she expects to be treated

Red buntingtastic - Never Gonna Give You Up - why wouldn't she get a full commitment from any other guy Rick, you gaslighting bastard?

Anyone else fancy whiling away some weekend time thinking up some examples?

(mumsnet's AI suggested a thread title of 'Songs that sound sensible or alarming once you really hear the lyrics' which I kind of love but decided not to go with!)

OP posts:
CrystalSingerFan · 13/09/2026 19:53

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 12/09/2026 15:46

Lehrer was a satirist and wrote that song precisely to show up all the songs in which a man is vile but for some reason that's ok. I mean, he also wrote "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park", and "So Long Mom, I'm Off To Drop The Bomb", but I am reasonably sure he was not in favour of cruelty to animals or of nuclear war. And then there is the Irish Ballad in which he is taking the piss mightily out of the whole American "it's Irish so it's great!" attitude. I am particularly fond of the last verse.

THE IRISH BALLAD
words and music by Tom Lehrer
About a maid I'll sing a song,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
About a maid I'll sing a song
Who didn't have her family long.
Not only did she do them wrong,
She did ev'ryone of them in,
Them in,
She did ev'ryone of them in.

One morning in a fit of pique,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
One morning in a fit of pique,
She drowned her father in the creek.
The water tasted bad for a week,
And we had to make do with gin,
With gin,
We had to make do with gin.

Her mother she could never stand,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
Her mother she cold never stand,
And so a cyanide soup she planned.
The mother died with a spoon in her hand,
And her face in a hideous grin,
A grin,
Her face in a hideous grin.

She set her sister's hair on fire,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
She set her sister's hair on fire,
And as the smoke and flame rose higher,
Danced around the funeral pyre,
Playin' a violin,
-olin,
Playin' a violin.

She weighted her brother down with stones,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
She weighted her brother down with stones,
And sent him off to Davy Jones.
All they ever found were some bones,
And occasional pieces of skin
Of skin,
Occasional pieces of skin.

One day when she had nothing to do,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
One day when she had nothing to do,
She cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew,
And invited the neighbors in,
-bors in,
Invited the neighbors in.

And when at last the police came by,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
And when at last the police came by,
Her little pranks she did not deny.
To do so she would have had to lie,
And lying, she knew, was a sin,
A sin,
Lying, she knew, was a sin.

My tragic tale, I won't prolong,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
My tragic tale I won't prolong,
And if you do not enjoy my song,
You've yourselves to blame if it's too long,
You should never have let me begin,
Begin,

Show quote history

A fellow Tom Lehrer fan! Fist bump!! Love that man's satirical songs and have done for 40 years...

(Have you come across 'Hanukkah in Santa Monica'? Mysteriously less well known but brilliant.)

JustAMiddleAgedDirtBagBaby · 13/09/2026 19:39

I get goosebumps just reading the lyrics to Nick Cave's Into My Arms.

It's so beautiful and sort of respectful and quietly lovely.

MrsM1ggins · 13/09/2026 19:38

How about this for a positive relationship song? Sheryl Crow - Easy.

We said that summer we'd go down to Cancun
But no money makes that kind of hard to do
Forget the beach – I'd rather be here with you
Playing Croquet okay, maybe, that's not true

But you make it easy, easy, easy to get away
Sit in the sun and drink beer all day
Because it's easy, easy, easier anyway
Hey, who needs Mexico?
Baby, let's stay home

We'll put on bug spray and we'll lose our clothes
Put out the lawn chairs and turn on the hose
We'll play Jack Johnson, he's the new Don Ho
And we'll go surfing, surfing, we'll surf the radio

But you make it easy, easy, easy to get away
Sit in the sun and drink beer all day
Because it's easy, easy, easier anyway
Hey, who needs Mexico?
Baby, let's stay home

Drink margaritas and take in the sunset
Later on we'll slip up to our king size bed
And make love, love, sweet love

You make it easy, easy
Oh, yes, it's easy, easy

But you make it easy, easy, easy to get away
Sit in the sun and drink beer all day
Because it's easy, easy, easier anyway
Hey, who needs Mexico?
Baby, let's stay home

Let's get away baby
Oh, let's get away, baby
Oh
Go on a little holiday

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/ST7btkkoaNU?is=Fv8D9eD4cdPRdPSf

Original poster
BernardBlacksMolluscs · 13/09/2026 19:22

A narrative from a woman in what sounds like a nightmare relationship - I am I feel by Alicia's Attic

He said, "Angel, put that purple skirt on
You know it makes me hot"
He said, "Come on, come on, get on, get up
Look like you're enjoying my company"
Oh, and he said, "You can't change your world
You're another one of my fools
You were born to have my baby now
Don't cry, my precious one
'Cause I ain't got no sympathy for you"

And I am, I feel
Like I wanna bite his head off
Yeah, that'd be fun
'Cause I sure got an appetite
I click my heels together three times
They sparked a little, but nothing happened
And the big bad wolf's still in my bed

OP posts:
Uricon2 · 13/09/2026 19:01

Hope this copies. A folk song but a sort of (justified) revenge gone wrong that is really quite funny

MarieDeGournay · 13/09/2026 18:45

I don't like Billy Joel in general, but I love 'For the longest time', partly because it is such a doo-wap gem, and partly because of these lines -

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things

Word to live and love by - however unwisely😁

MarieDeGournay · 13/09/2026 18:32

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 13/09/2026 17:26

Isn't an extramarital affair usually deemed to be the fault of a person who, knowing another is married, nevertheless sets out to lure him or her away from his or her spouse? Mostly the Other Woman has a bad rep. I mean, yes, it takes two to tango, but it is usually one who initiates the dance.

Edited

Dolly addressed that very point in Just Because I'm a Woman (1968)

Now a man will take a good girl
And he'll ruin her reputation
But when he wants to marry
Well that's a different situation
He'll just walk off and leave her
To do the best she can
While he looks for an angel
To wear his wedding band
..
Yes, I've made my mistakes
But listen and understand
My mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I'm a woman

Abhannmor · 13/09/2026 18:06

NotMyRealAccount · 12/09/2026 19:19

Billy Joel has a dodgy lyric or two in his collection, but Tell Her About It is excellent advice.

And Goodnight My Angel is the most beautiful lullaby ever written.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 13/09/2026 18:06

The United States of America "I won't leave my wooden wife for you".

It was on the sampler album "The Rock Machine Turns You On", which is why I heard it. I think almost everything possible is wrong with this, so I hope it was some sort of joke, or taking a pop at hypocrisy, or something.

Now listen, Baby
And try to understand
That tying you is fine
And whipping you is grand
Now I just can't tell you
How much fun it's been
You make me feel twenty-five again
But I can't leave my wooden wife for you, sugar
I got a split level house with a wonderful view, sugar
A couple next door who do the things we do, sugar
And every Saturday we sit around the pool

If I should meet you on the street someday
I hope you'll understand me if I look away
It isn't that I'm ashamed about you and me
But I've got to consider my morality
And I won't leave my wooden wife for you, sugar
I got a split level house with a wonderful view, sugar
Three sweet kids and Yorkshire terrier, too, sugar
And I just couldn't stand it
When you come home late from school

CassOle · 13/09/2026 17:27

I agree with the posters upthread that Paul McCartney has written great love songs and great end-of-relationship songs.

I shouldn't miss out George, Let It Down and I'd Have You Anytime are beautiful. I think the latter was co-written by Bob Dylan.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 13/09/2026 17:26

Isn't an extramarital affair usually deemed to be the fault of a person who, knowing another is married, nevertheless sets out to lure him or her away from his or her spouse? Mostly the Other Woman has a bad rep. I mean, yes, it takes two to tango, but it is usually one who initiates the dance.

luckylavender · 13/09/2026 17:09

PeachyDaisy · 12/09/2026 10:15

Joelene (RIP Dolly)

I was just about to type that. Why is it Jolene’s fault?

CrossPurposes · 13/09/2026 17:07

localnotail · 13/09/2026 16:54

I love For No One. Its such a perfect description of an end of a relationship.

Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all her words of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you
She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry
She no longer needs you

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

You want her, you need her
And yet you don't believe her
When she says her love is dead
You think she needs you

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

Show quote history

So good.

Pinkissmart · 13/09/2026 16:58

Following on from Hungry Heart..
I love Bruce Springsteen but some of his songs are questionable:

‘Hey little girl is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you on your own? I’ve got a bad desire. Oh oh oh I’m on fire ‘

localnotail · 13/09/2026 16:54

CrossPurposes · 13/09/2026 16:51

Paul McCartney is often criticised for his love songs but they are rather lovely: Silly Love Songs (a direct response to the criticism), Maybe I'm Amazed, Calico Skies, I Will, All My Loving, and Here, There and Everywhere.

"Knowing that love is to share;
Each one believing that love never dies,
Watching her and hoping I'm always there."

(https://www.thebeatles.com/here-there-and-everywhere)

I love For No One. Its such a perfect description of an end of a relationship.

Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all her words of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you
She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry
She no longer needs you

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

You want her, you need her
And yet you don't believe her
When she says her love is dead
You think she needs you

And in her eyes, you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years

CrossPurposes · 13/09/2026 16:51

Paul McCartney is often criticised for his love songs but they are rather lovely: Silly Love Songs (a direct response to the criticism), Maybe I'm Amazed, Calico Skies, I Will, All My Loving, and Here, There and Everywhere.

"Knowing that love is to share;
Each one believing that love never dies,
Watching her and hoping I'm always there."

(https://www.thebeatles.com/here-there-and-everywhere)

localnotail · 13/09/2026 16:48

Also, absolutely love Nick Cave's Into My Arms. So beautiful.

I don't believe in an interventionist God
But I know, darling, that you do
But if I did, I would kneel down and ask him
Not to intervene when it came to you
Will not to touch a hair on your head
Leave you as you are
If he felt he had to direct you
Then direct you into my arms

Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms

And I don't believe in the existence of angels
But looking at you I wonder if that's true
But if I did, I would summon them together
And ask them to watch over you
Well, to each burn a candle for you
To make bright and clear your path
And to walk, like Christ, in grace and love
And guide you into my arms

Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms

But I believe in love
And I know that you do too
And I believe in some kind of path
That we can walk down, me and you
So keep your candles burning
Make her journey bright and pure
That she'll keep returning
Always and evermore

Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms, oh, Lord
Into my arms

localnotail · 13/09/2026 16:46

Good example - Fairytale of New York. Just so lovely and sad.

"I could have been someone", well, so could anyone
You took my dreams from me when I first found you
I kept them with me, babe, I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone, I've built my dreams around you

Uricon2 · 13/09/2026 16:43

A huge thank you to @BernardBlacksMolluscs and everyone else for this great thread.

I'm on heart medication that can breach the blood/brain barrier and cause incredibly vivid dreams (sadly, also nightmares) I had a very clear one last night, a picture of watching First Great Love of 40 odd years ago stand at the bar in his grey suit (it was the 80s) while 'God Only Knows' was on the jukebox and realising that yes, I loved him.

Sad to relate, no happy ending there, but it was a nice memory.

The power of music, eh?

CassOle · 13/09/2026 16:20

localnotail · 13/09/2026 14:38

I haven't read the whole thread but "Run for your Life" by The Beatles always freaks me out. I absolutely love them but this song is rank.

I'd rather see you dead, little girl,
Than to be with another man.
You'd better keep your head, little girl,
Or I won't know where I am.

You'd better run for your life if you can, little girl,
Hide your head in the sand, little girl,
Catch you with another man,
That's the end ah, little girl.

Well you know that I'm a wicked guy
And I was born with a jealous mind.
And I can't spend my whole life
Tryin' just to make you toe the line.

Edited

Yes, several of us have picked up on this one.

Have you listened to Elvis Presley's Baby, Let's Play House (written by Arthur Gunter) which it was based on?

Uricon2 · 13/09/2026 16:06

'As Long As He Needs Me' from Oliver! is not great. One of the objectively worst relationships in literature and Bill Sykes is fully shown as the brute he was in the book, toned down for the film of course with sexy Ollie Reed , but it's still awful.

As long as he needs me
Oh, yes, he does need me
In spite of what you see
I'm sure that he needs me

Who else would love him still
When they've been used so ill
He knows I always will
As long as he needs me

I miss him so much when he is gone
But when he's near me
I don't let on
The way I feel inside
The love I have to hide
The hell! I've got my pride
As long as he needs me

He doesn't say the things he should
He acts the way he thinks he should
But all the same
I'll play this game
His way
As long as he needs me

I know where I must be
I'll cling on steadfastly
As long as he needs me
As long as life is long
I'll love him right or wrong
And somehow I'll be strong
As long as he needs me

If you are lonely
Then you will know
When someone needs you
You love them so
I won't betray his trust
Though people say I must
I've got to stay true, just
As long as he needs me.

Yes, and he kills you, nice kind Nancy.

MrsM1ggins · 13/09/2026 15:46

Every time I hear the song Messy by Lola Young it makes me thing about the book 'In Control' by Jane Monckton Smith which describes coercive control in relationships and how it can end in murder.

Typical lyrics:
Cause I'm too messy, and then I'm too fucking clean
You told me, "Get a job", then you ask where the hell I've been
And I'm too perfect till I open my big mouth
I want to be me, is that not allowed?
And I'm too clever, and then I'm too fucking dumb
You hate it when I cry unless it's that time of the month
And I'm too perfect till I show you that I'm not
A thousand people I could be for you and you hate the fucking lot

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/k-k2_Liofy8?si=8OHXbfgpHj224-8t

Abhannmor · 13/09/2026 15:40

Uricon2 · 12/09/2026 18:38

I'm a bit heartened by the alternative interpretation that he was leaving someone (adult girlfriend) with mates while he went out to clear his head , possibly permanently. Preferable to the child abandonment scenario.

Show quote history

I don't think children were remotely in the horizon. It's an early song and the Who were still very young. Sometimes we can read too much into pop songs. And of course we are far more Puritan than the 60s generation. A song like Claire by Gilbert O Sullivan would never get airplay today although it is very innocent and wholesome.

Abhannmor · 13/09/2026 15:28

ArabellaScott · 12/09/2026 17:49

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you
If you should ever leave me
Well, life would still go on, believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me?

God only knows what I'd be without you
God only knows what I'd be without you

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on, believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me?
God only knows what I'd be without you

Paul McCartney's pick for greatest song of all time. Who am I to disagree* . American djs played the B side ' Wouldn't it be nice ' because of God being in the title I heard?
But Waterloo Sunset for me