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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Use the changing room you feel comfortable in

61 replies

TheRozzers · 10/09/2026 22:26

DD has just started Secondary school. On PE days the children are told to wear their PE kit to school so they don’t have to get changed.

DD had PE today. There are boys ans girls changing rooms and the teacher told them all to use the changing room they feel comfortable with.

As the girls were already in their PE kits there was no actual changing in the changing room, it was just where they gathered before the class and left their bags.

This probably isn’t a hill to die on but it irritates me that girls have to be in their PE kits all day and can’t have their own private space in order to accommodate boys who may want to access the girls changing rooms.

Should I take up with the school or leave it?

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Imdunfer · 13/09/2026 13:13

ChicoryChina · 12/09/2026 18:58

It a good question regarding getting muddy and wet. At my daughter’s school the girls do netball indoors until summer term when they do athletics on the school field so they don’t tend to get muddy. I have no idea what other schools do. I think reducing down getting changed can only be a good thing even if they wear their PE kit to school and get changed into their uniform afterwards if they need. I can’t imagine they get too sweaty given there are so many girls and only 1 sports hall that they can’t actually get much exercise in. Shocking as it is. One indoor court per school in nowhere near enough room nowadays

It's perfectly easy to get sweaty without moving off the spot.

If they aren't working up some level of sweat they aren't being taught how to get any decent level of exercise, especially for a teenager.

SwirlyGates · 13/09/2026 10:36

I feel sorry for the teachers (and the kids, come to that) who have to sit in a classroom of sweaty teenagers who haven't changed after PE.

thirdfiddle · 13/09/2026 10:08

Our secondary school field is grass, and tends to hold water until it gets too boggy to use at all. Sports seem to be different every term but they do try to get outdoors when the field isn't a complete lake. Muddy gear is very possible.

And would clubs be allowed to change? If they also have to wear kit all day some sporty children would barely need to own non PE uniform. At least they'd be getting muddy at the end of the day.

ChicoryChina · 12/09/2026 18:58

It a good question regarding getting muddy and wet. At my daughter’s school the girls do netball indoors until summer term when they do athletics on the school field so they don’t tend to get muddy. I have no idea what other schools do. I think reducing down getting changed can only be a good thing even if they wear their PE kit to school and get changed into their uniform afterwards if they need. I can’t imagine they get too sweaty given there are so many girls and only 1 sports hall that they can’t actually get much exercise in. Shocking as it is. One indoor court per school in nowhere near enough room nowadays

ErrolTheDragon · 12/09/2026 09:46

Imdunfer · 12/09/2026 09:32

So they never play football on a muddy field or long jump into a sand pit?

What does school PE consist of these days?

Edited

Quite a lot of schools have astroturf so they may not be getting muddy. But surely at this time of year they’re liable to be out in the rain?

Seagulldancing · 12/09/2026 09:35

When I was in school Id have seen this as a challenge and gone to the boys with the express intent of making them very very uncomfortable.
That won't have been good for me or anyone else though. So talk to the school, maybe the message was lost in the telling.

Imdunfer · 12/09/2026 09:32

BCBird · 11/09/2026 21:14

Most schools get pupils to wear their PE kit- saves time. Pupils should be using the facilities based on their biological sex

So they never play football on a muddy field or long jump into a sand pit?

What does school PE consist of these days?

thirdfiddle · 12/09/2026 09:32

ChicoryChina · 12/09/2026 09:14

Research tells us that 45% are more active on the way to and from school if they wear their PE kit to school. 3 in 10 girls feel less stressed and anxious when they wear their PE kit all day, 61% wearing their PE kit to school helped them be more active on PE lessons and 59% of girls said it helped them be more active throughout the day and 99% of teachers said it gave them more time for PE. Women in Sport are currently lobbying government regarding this and obviously your daughter’s school is ahead of the game. Perhaps this the reason they are wearing their PE kit to school.

Interesting. What age though chicory? For primary school, totally on board.

Secondary school - surely not pleasant for anyone or a good habit for teens to get into to do sports without a change of clothes after.

Definitely an argument for less formalwear school uniforms generally.

maximc · 12/09/2026 09:29

I would just write politely to the school & say you're concerned that changing is mixed sex & what is the policy? The phrase 'the changing room you feel comfortable with' is associated w the sex/gender debate but it might have popped into the teacher's head unconciously, or the teacher might believe in self identification, but he has to follow school policy which should be based on biological sex. You can follow up further if the policy is outdated.

ChicoryChina · 12/09/2026 09:14

Research tells us that 45% are more active on the way to and from school if they wear their PE kit to school. 3 in 10 girls feel less stressed and anxious when they wear their PE kit all day, 61% wearing their PE kit to school helped them be more active on PE lessons and 59% of girls said it helped them be more active throughout the day and 99% of teachers said it gave them more time for PE. Women in Sport are currently lobbying government regarding this and obviously your daughter’s school is ahead of the game. Perhaps this the reason they are wearing their PE kit to school.

thirdfiddle · 12/09/2026 08:07

BCBird · 11/09/2026 21:14

Most schools get pupils to wear their PE kit- saves time. Pupils should be using the facilities based on their biological sex

Most primary schools do. We're talking about secondary schools here. Teenagers doing PE get very stinky, you do not want them going around in their stinky kit for the rest of the day. Also potentially wet and muddy if they've been playing outdoors on grass.

tokennamechange · 12/09/2026 00:08

AllJoyAndNoFun · 11/09/2026 21:21

I don’t understand why you can’t wear a sports bra all day. I do all the time ( this is separate from the wearing PE kit all day that you exercised in first period which is a bit minging).

but how is it separate? surely it's all part of the same thing - even if you find sports bras comfortable (I really don't), they will be the item of clothing that's closest to your skin so likely sweaty/smelly.

ErrolTheDragon · 11/09/2026 21:50

AllJoyAndNoFun · 11/09/2026 21:21

I don’t understand why you can’t wear a sports bra all day. I do all the time ( this is separate from the wearing PE kit all day that you exercised in first period which is a bit minging).

Depends what sort - if you’re doing high impact and your boobs need the ‘compressive’ type they’re really not great to wear for longer than you need to.

AllJoyAndNoFun · 11/09/2026 21:21

I don’t understand why you can’t wear a sports bra all day. I do all the time ( this is separate from the wearing PE kit all day that you exercised in first period which is a bit minging).

BCBird · 11/09/2026 21:14

Ask what school policy is on this

BCBird · 11/09/2026 21:14

Most schools get pupils to wear their PE kit- saves time. Pupils should be using the facilities based on their biological sex

JellySaurus · 11/09/2026 20:05

TheRozzers · 11/09/2026 19:35

Thank you, I can’t find anything about this do you have any more details @Yewlez?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5507367-mixed-sex-changing-rooms-in-a-brighton-secondary-school-part-3-were-really-cooking-now?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

TheRozzers · 11/09/2026 19:35

Yewlez · 10/09/2026 22:27

There's a case in Brighton going on about this very issue. I would look that up and use it to write to the school

Thank you, I can’t find anything about this do you have any more details @Yewlez?

OP posts:
SwirlyGates · 11/09/2026 16:36

If your daughter has repeated this verbatim, "There are boys and girls changing rooms and the teacher told them all to use the changing room they feel comfortable with," then the wording is meaningful. It's not the case that they keep their PE kit on all day and dump their bags, or the teacher would say something like, "Use either changing room to leave your kit," or "Put your kit in the nearest changing room." "Feel comfortable with" has a particular meaning, and if even one pupil wants to change the rooms need to be single sex, and this must be enforced.

I'd be following up up with the school.

tokennamechange · 11/09/2026 15:45

I think the 'just wear your kit to school' is actually a good solution IF PE was only in the afternoons. In terms of timetabling it could be done by doing double lessons, so, for example, all of year 7 do PE Monday afternoon for two hours, rather than half of them doing it Monday morning, half Tuesday afternoon for one hour each or whatever they currently do it. That way they can just go straight home and get changed. That would also benefit any kids who are generally shy about changing, limit opportunities for bullying, and also just saves time - otherwise in an hour's lesson the first and last 10 minutes are spent changing. They could even bring lunch earlier for the relevant year in order to have enough time.

If nobody was changing at all then the school could have a point - if they are just using the changing rooms to store the bags then essentially they aren't using them as changing rooms at all - they could just as easily stick them all in one room, or even in a classroom. There would be no need for the 'where you feel most comfortable' line because comfort wouldn't come into it, just 'everyone stick your bags in room A to keep them safe.'

The problem is that a) often toilets are within the changing rooms, which pupils might want to use and b) as you say, even if they aren't changing their whole outfits, if they know they are going to be in their kits for another 4 hours it's not unlikely they'd want to swap bras/put deodorant on, etc. In which case they are using them as changing rooms and need to be segregated.

Whaaaatszuuup · 11/09/2026 15:31

Tryingtobenormal124 · 11/09/2026 11:02

No this tread is about kids in changing rooms. Its all trans related! And get to f**k with your Hitler reference!

No it isn’t. It’s about the daughter of the person who starts the thread.

thirdfiddle · 11/09/2026 14:58

So another "well if boys can't have it then nobody can" solution. Where I would like to make clear solution would be in sarcastic quotes if I hadn't already used quotes.

And imagine the PE teacher having to direct them to "changing rooms" where they're no longer allowed to change with that line about feeling most comfortable. Either that teacher is cringing inside, or they're a believer feeling super smug about getting to roll out the most comfortable line even though it's not actually relevant.

It's not a solution. We all know it's not a solution. My kids are stinky enough if they've had PE and changed back into uniform as school don't seem to offer showers, PE kit all day would be an assault on everyone's noses as well as uncomfortable for the poor kids.

Make some noise as parents - politely, but make some noise. School won't stick with this as the majority of teachers will be hating it too. Everyone except the PE teachers really, being the only people who never have to teach a class after a PE Lesson.

JellySaurus · 11/09/2026 14:51

The only reason the school will have done this is to avoid following KCSIE, and thus swerve complaints from TRA staff/parents/students.

Commonsense people need to shout louder than the rights-stealing, child-harming ideologues.

JellySaurus · 11/09/2026 14:49

ErrolTheDragon · 10/09/2026 22:34

It may not be an issue in yr 7, but many older girls ought to be wearing proper sports bras for PE - they shouldn’t be expected to wear them all day FFS.

And IME the changing room teenage girls will ‘feel comfortable’ changing their bras in is one without teenage males in it.

Edited

Which is also the changing room legally mandated by KCSIE.

alcovecupboards · 11/09/2026 14:46

According to the guidance you've posted the school are following it. If no child needs to get changed then problem solved. The only issue I can see is from a hygiene perspective and PE being at any time other than the final lesson. Do they have astroturf pitches or is it grass? Grass would allow you to make your argument in a less pitched way. I say this because at school my daughter would never have used the showers after PE but my son did - mainly because after some sports it was absolutely necessary. Does the school have a pool too? Have they explained what happens for swimming because you can't not change for swimming.