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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

terrifying, dangerous, abusive "advice" on r/transgenderuk

366 replies

mardirousse · 16/08/2026 20:38

https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderUK/comments/1vo4oqz/hypothetical_situation/.

Dad wants to prevent his effeminate 15 year old boy from developing an adam's apple or deep voice, so "hypothetically" asks if he could back and forth to France for puberty blockers.

gets loads of "support", told he's a wonderful father, advised to put the lad on diy estrogen instead as it's more appropriate "at that age" (15!).

Surely platforms can't allow this, legally! it's so dangerous. I'm really upset. His poor little lad.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Igneococcus · 18/08/2026 09:36

I have only seen the SEGM referenced German one because another poster reposted it.

A reference in German is fine. I'm happy to translate.

ConveyancingHelll · 18/08/2026 09:32

MarieDeGournay · 17/08/2026 22:00

The situation is, TransParentlyAnnoyed , you know some young people with gender dysphoria who reacted as you describe; I know other young people with gender dysphoria who reacted differently and became reconciled to their natal sex, and went on to live their lives as such.

Both these experiences are anecdotal, and ' I know somebody who.... my child says.... my own experience is... ' are interesting and significant, but they are just your personal experiences or my personal experiences, and they point in different directions.

That's where properly-conducted studies are useful, and a number of studies show that gender dysphoria in children is more likely than not to be temporary, and the majority will, with the passage of time and without any medical intervention, accept their biological reality.

It is an emotional subject obviously- I get emotional when I think of vulnerable gender-incongruent children like I was, being told that if they take X or Y or undergo Z, they can change their sex, when in fact that they can never be anything other than the sex they were born into.

I believe that children deserve the truth about biological reality, and all the love and support they need to live that reality.
I base this on my own first-hand experience of growing up, and through, and out of, gender dysphoria in childhood.

You and I, TPA, have come to different conclusions based on our anecdotal experiences.

Judging from your posts on several thread, which are often very negative, using words like 'transphobic' or 'aberrant' etc., you seem to think that your conclusions are more valid than, for instance, mine.

You asked me this previously and I didn't answer.

About the studies. I can't find your post where you linked to studies. I have only seen the SEGM referenced German one because another poster reposted it. As I say that does not tell us anything about rates of desistance, detransition or cessation of treatment, much less the reasons underpinning those rates.

Can you point me to the post where you posted other studies, or repost them, whichever is easiest?

nutmeg7 · 18/08/2026 09:29

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 17/08/2026 22:59

Being non-binary with a trans child, and knowing many trans people (plus supporting young trans people whose parents have rejected them) isn't anecdotal evidence.

I'm speaking from experience.

Trans children do not need saving from loving parents, but from abusive ones who refuse them support, chuck them out and subject them to conversion therapy.

Children know their own minds. Puberty is not a cure for dysphoria if you are truly trans, and forcing trans children through it has irreversible effects.

And I do think referring to women as 'females' and posting obsessively all day about a minority is aberrant, yes. As if going after trans people and inventing weird origin stories about them will solve cis male violence or help anyone.

There're so many children who are genuinely being abused. When I see people (esp those I know to be men) repeatedly posting here about trans kids, claiming supportive parents are child abusers and making comments about their bodies, I think that's horribly creepy. A huge red flag.

Anecdote is exactly that, one person’s experience.

BackToLurk · 18/08/2026 09:27

nutmeg7 · 18/08/2026 09:25

What on earth is wrong with using “females” to mean “female humans”?

Is this more language policing? Do we now have to pretend there is no male and female?

TPA knows full well that posters use female as otherwise someone who thinks they are ‘very smart’ will say “well transwomen are women” if ‘woman’ is used.

nutmeg7 · 18/08/2026 09:25

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 17/08/2026 22:38

'Females' huh.

Bye creep.

What on earth is wrong with using “females” to mean “female humans”?

Is this more language policing? Do we now have to pretend there is no male and female?

NotBadConsidering · 18/08/2026 09:24

This absolutely cannot be the case. There is simply no way the puberty blocker trial would be going ahead if large numbers of young people at Pride events were in wheelchairs and on crutches due to puberty blockers. The trial is unethical but it isn't THAT unethical!

This is a non sequitur. The accuracy or not of people being on crutches or in wheelchairs at Pride would have absolutely zero impact on the decision to start the Pathways trial.

Those deciding to start the Pathways trial are not remotely interested in looking at actual evidence in real adult clinics of long term outcomes like osteoporosis to help them determine whether Pathways will go ahead.

They have been told that this is likely to be quantifiable problem if they just bothered to look at the adult clinic data and they don’t care.

So the presence or absence of people in wheelchairs at Pride is something that wouldn’t even cause them to raise an eyebrow, let alone question the veracity of such a claim.

Imdunfer · 18/08/2026 08:57

Shedmistress · 17/08/2026 22:14

Puberty blockers have been repeatedly shown to be safe. A study last week showed they don't affect bone density in the long term.

Females NEED estrogen for bone health.

I do not know what study you are referencing but they absolutely DO affect bone density, hence so many young people in wheelchairs and on crutches/walkers at PRIDE events.

Wanting adults to have crumbling bones is not being 'decent'.

so many young people in wheelchairs and on crutches/walkers at PRIDE events.

This absolutely cannot be the case. There is simply no way the puberty blocker trial would be going ahead if large numbers of young people at Pride events were in wheelchairs and on crutches due to puberty blockers. The trial is unethical but it isn't THAT unethical!

Please point to your evidence if I'm wrong about that.

FlatCatYellowMat · 18/08/2026 07:39

Puberty blockers have been repeatedly shown to be safe. A study last week showed they don't affect bone density in the long term.

It was a review of existing studies and it actually showed that they recover significantly, but generally do not catch up with matched peers (for once, girls fair better - more girls than boys catch up, due to the effects of testosterone. Boys tended to end up with lumbar spine density generally lower)

Lets be accurate here rather than hand wave away lower average bone density.

NotBadConsidering · 18/08/2026 07:22

Jackie Green continues to be a trans person. This is an example of someone for whom the research was spot on - persistent GD is more likely to persist permanently, as it has for her.

Well we will never know, will we? He could have seen resolution of any dysphoria if he’d been allowed to go through puberty like 80+% of cross sex identifying boys used to do before that treatment option was removed with puberty blockers for boys like him.

Of course he still “lives as a trans person”. His testicles were removed on his 16th birthday and his entire identity has been tied to his mother’s public campaign to justify what she did to him. It’s not like there’s an alternative is there?

EmpressaurusKitty · 18/08/2026 06:37

And this is not true either, as we've seen many cases where homophobic parents would prefer a trans child over a gay one because guess what, trans ideology is extremely regressive and preaches turning a boy into a girl if he's effeminate.

Just like all those wonderfully affirming trans allies in Iran.

BunnyBunbunbun · 18/08/2026 05:52

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 17/08/2026 22:37

Cheers for that. Try going outside occasionally, educating yourself about difference and perhaps get a more up-to-date medical dictionary. Your life may improve when not fixating on things you don't understand.

If sex and gender are different things, then why is this father trying to change the sex of his "transgender" child then? Why doesn't he just encourage his son to dress how he wants and express himself how he wants, rather than try to block the natural development of his son's sex characteristics?

ElenOfTheWays · 18/08/2026 05:43

ConveyancingHelll · 17/08/2026 15:53

Of course I have a good idea, because there is research that talks about the indicators for desistence and persistence, and Jackie Green met most of the criteria for factors linked to persistence.

This is classic conversion therapy mindset. A thirty-something year old person is assumed to not know their gender identity or how they want to live their life. If only you could have drummed it out of them early enough they might have lived 'happily' as a cisgender person. But that is rubbish. Jackie Green continues to be a trans person. This is an example of someone for whom the research was spot on - persistent GD is more likely to persist permanently, as it has for her.

Jackie Green was given puberty blockers which means he did not mature properly including mentally and emotionally. Add to that the fact that he's physically altered beyond repair now and you can see how he's stuck with the decision his mother took for him when he was too young to object to or even understand what was happening.
What he is, is an emotionally and mentally arrested man. Not a woman of any kind.

2021x · 18/08/2026 05:26

I have experience in the clinical world. It has been difficult to engage with the child-transition topic simply because of the transparent lack of medical ethics.

Clinically- transitioning is cosmetic medicine for children. In reality it is disrupting/removal/augmentation of healthy tissue in favour of a mental distortion. The ethics around this is adults with fluctuating levels of cognitive function and therefore consent is ethically dubious, but in children and young mentally unwell adults it borders on criminality.

dinodart · 18/08/2026 05:01

"Spoiler alert - virtually every homophobe that exists in the UK is also massively transphobic. Virtually no parent who has a problem with a gay son would prefer to have a trans daughter."

So, I've guess you have interviewed all the homophobes in the UK then.

And this is not true either, as we've seen many cases where homophobic parents would prefer a trans child over a gay one because guess what, trans ideology is extremely regressive and preaches turning a boy into a girl if he's effeminate. Trans ideology is the most regressive thing ever and belongs with conservatives. Have a gender non-conforming or gay child? Trans them then if you don't like it.

ElenOfTheWays · 18/08/2026 02:20

ConveyancingHelll · 17/08/2026 11:57

Oh marvellous. A thread in which people who have spent years campaigning to prevent the sensible, regulated and judicious prescription of medicine now suddenly realise that in the absence of such people will resort to sourcing it separately.

The father in question seems quite responsible in still seeking treatment by a medical professional in France, rather than DIY.

But a couple of total red herrings already in this thread:

  1. No indication whatsoever that this guys daughter has no say in this. The obvious starting point is that he has a trans daughter - not that he has a son that he (the father) is insisting must be trans.
  2. It seems clear that his daughter already identifies and expresses herself as a girl. The father's question is not about how he can 'trans' his 'gay son', but rather how he can best help his trans daughter avoid the long term difficulties in transitioning and passing that will arise if she goes fully through male puberty.

The notion that there are legions of fathers out there that are virulently homophobic, to the point of pushing their children towards a life that is much more challenging because of societal attitudes, but not even slightly transphobic, is utter, utter nonsense.

Spoiler alert - virtually every homophobe that exists in the UK is also massively transphobic. Virtually no parent who has a problem with a gay son would prefer to have a trans daughter.

But he ISN'T a girl and never CAN be a girl or later, a woman.

This father's job here is to explain that to his son, NOT to source illegal medication for him.

You understand it's illegal for a reason, right? Because its dangerous and it doesn't help.

Everything else you said is irrelevant because HUMANS CAN'T CHANGE SEX!
It's cruel to lie to kids and say they can.

ninesparrows · 18/08/2026 01:23

He was the Wrong Kind of Trans, unfortunately not able to be of the joining of the sacred caste. Let us try move on from this unfortunate incident?

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 18/08/2026 00:47

I got a bit sidetracked on that Reddit link and ended up reading a few other posts on that board. One was someone saying “surely this person isn’t actually trans?” And others agreeing that of course the bearded man in the photo convicted of CSA couldn’t actually be trans. Says who?

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 18/08/2026 00:46

Or indeed truly genuinely non binary?

dinodart · 18/08/2026 00:39

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 17/08/2026 22:59

Being non-binary with a trans child, and knowing many trans people (plus supporting young trans people whose parents have rejected them) isn't anecdotal evidence.

I'm speaking from experience.

Trans children do not need saving from loving parents, but from abusive ones who refuse them support, chuck them out and subject them to conversion therapy.

Children know their own minds. Puberty is not a cure for dysphoria if you are truly trans, and forcing trans children through it has irreversible effects.

And I do think referring to women as 'females' and posting obsessively all day about a minority is aberrant, yes. As if going after trans people and inventing weird origin stories about them will solve cis male violence or help anyone.

There're so many children who are genuinely being abused. When I see people (esp those I know to be men) repeatedly posting here about trans kids, claiming supportive parents are child abusers and making comments about their bodies, I think that's horribly creepy. A huge red flag.

what makes a person truly. genuinely trans?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 18/08/2026 00:32

unwashedanddazed · 17/08/2026 23:43

Interesting bookends: being non-binary - huge red flag.

It seems a fairly recent development

MarieDeGournay · 18/08/2026 00:20

TPA
Being non-binary with a trans child, and knowing many trans people (plus supporting young trans people whose parents have rejected them) isn't anecdotal evidence.
Yes it is precisely that, in fact it's a good illustration of a dictionary definition of 'anecdotal evidence' i.e. evidence based on personal experience rather than scientific research.

I'm speaking from experience.
So am I.
So are lots of other posters on here. Lived experience of issues involving sex and gender, hence the title of the board Feminism: Sex and gender discussions.

Why do you think your anecdotal experiences are more important than my anecdotal experiences, or other posters'?

niyre · 18/08/2026 00:12

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 17/08/2026 22:42

None of that's true. Trans people are individuals who know their own minds.

Any theory as to why you're always on here being furious about them? It's profoundly odd.

the fact you’re on here all the time ranting suggests to me that you have some serious doubts about what you’ve colluded in…

unwashedanddazed · 17/08/2026 23:43

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 17/08/2026 22:59

Being non-binary with a trans child, and knowing many trans people (plus supporting young trans people whose parents have rejected them) isn't anecdotal evidence.

I'm speaking from experience.

Trans children do not need saving from loving parents, but from abusive ones who refuse them support, chuck them out and subject them to conversion therapy.

Children know their own minds. Puberty is not a cure for dysphoria if you are truly trans, and forcing trans children through it has irreversible effects.

And I do think referring to women as 'females' and posting obsessively all day about a minority is aberrant, yes. As if going after trans people and inventing weird origin stories about them will solve cis male violence or help anyone.

There're so many children who are genuinely being abused. When I see people (esp those I know to be men) repeatedly posting here about trans kids, claiming supportive parents are child abusers and making comments about their bodies, I think that's horribly creepy. A huge red flag.

Interesting bookends: being non-binary - huge red flag.

RogueFemale · 17/08/2026 23:15

I think it's revealing that @TransParentlyAnnoyed persistently posts on here. We actually engage and know what we're talking about, even if he doesn't like what we say, he comes back again and again for more, because it's better than the ignorance, naivety and narcissism of 'trans' forums like reddit.

GreyskySexRealistsky · 17/08/2026 23:10

TransParentlyAnnoyed · 17/08/2026 22:38

'Females' huh.

Bye creep.

This is simply a deflection from actually posting a link to the "study last week"

Swipe left for the next trending thread