You Can’t Buy an Authentic Self

I've said before about the parallels of pursuing a trans identity and addiction.

The trans widows threads speak of it lots too.

The element of obsession (potentially autistic fixation) and 'chasing the impossible' of transition.

This is why it is important to state clearly that no amount of hormones or surgery can change your sex.

It's an illusive goal that can never be achieved.

I would say I'm happier as a person being married and moving from London to a more provincial, community-centered area.
Sure, I'm still a little selfish and self obsessed, but I've leant to think more of others, and have given up certain lifestyles that felt self fulfilling as a selfish loner.
I would say my sense of self has changed, it's much more my interaction with others.
Wasn't always easy, but fulfilling.
My attitudes politically and societally have also changed. Hell, I'm daily on Mumsnet, lol.
And as someone who was deeply into the outer reaches of nocturnal behaviour (and I don't mean ghost hunting), and a highly driven male, I have some familiarity with what the selfish impulses of TIMs result in their comprehension of the world, and how their personal happiness comes before all considerations of greater society, and the unacceptable compromises forced upon women.

But would you say that you would stop being your authentic self if you couldn't financially afford those things anymore? Woud you say that you must have those things in order to fully express your authentic self?

This is dumb. I like dogs, films, travelling abroad, exotic food, gym work outs, reading books. All these pursuits are an expression of my personality. Inner self is just personality….& all this costs $.

Good blog. I've always thought that the majority of trans individuals see fulfilling/finding their true selves as adjusting their bodies to the environment around them (other people, gender norms and stereotypes), and then insisting that environment, ie us/other people around them, adjust our responses and behaviour and language towards them.
These people are chronically unhappy because they don't fit into the world around them, so adjust themselves and oblige that world to alter its view of them.
A false premise (the world can't change just because you're unhappy in your own skin/gender structure) leads to an unacceptable demand (when I change or say I've changed, the world must affirm that change even if it means that affirmation inconveniences countless others).
Maybe so many trans true self is narcissistic selfishness. So be it, but I don't see why any woman should have to play along and be disadvantaged as a result.

Good article. I’m glad that some of the young’uns can see the rampant capitalism at work. The idea of making drastic changes to one’s body and face in order to be one’s ’true/authentic self’ has always been absurdly contradictory. And like the author, I find it interesting that people who are supposedly very much on the left are happy to pay into the machine in such a big way. Stick it to the man! (By giving him all your money because he’s made you feel so shit about yourself).

Very interesting article, thank you OP, thanks for the link.

The comments about companies selling expensive 'true selves' to transpeople made me think about the professional 'ladyboy' community in places like Thailand and their relationship with the huge beauty products/cosmetic/'gender reassignment' surgery industries in that part of the world.

There is a million?billion? dollar market for beauty products, over-the-counter hormones, cosmetic surgery, 'gender reassignment' surgery in parts of the world where kathoeys/ladyboys flourish, attracting medical tourists from all over the world, but I'm guessing that keeping a strong local demand is an important part of the business model.

And while respecting the kathoey tradition as being part of the local culture, I wonder whether the glossy, commercial, highly-stereotyped and probably very exploitative ladyboy scene is a genuine development of the old tradition.

Being a professional 'ladyboy' can be a way out of poverty for children with no other options in life, and if that's your job, you're going to need to look as convincing as possible, meaning more hormones, more cosmetics, more surgery, all of which keeps the 'beauty' industry booming.

[I've just thought: what happens, economically, to ladyboys when they grow old and the hormones and the cosmetics and the surgery stop working??]

All this is just speculation on my part but..
I understand the 3rd gender/kathoey thing is traditional, but I wonder how much the professional 'ladyboy' aspect of it grew out of the demand for R&R for US soldiers during the Vietnam war.
Bangkok became one of the centres of this, and the 'recreation' part of R&R mostly meant bars, shows and prostitution.

I wonder if the kathoey tradition meant that there were boys from poor backgrounds who could pass as women and who were recruited into the entertainment and prostitution 'R&R' business, and if the commercial ladyboy scene grew out of that?

In other words, I wonder how authentic the professional ladyboy identity, rather than kathoey, is, and how much it is driven by the cosmetic surgery/beauty products/'reassignment' surgery industries?

And, as with all 'adult services' industries, are the young boys entering the ladyboy industry doing so freely, or because of economic necessity?