Can you often tell sex from writing style in relationship threads?

Mostly I think, but I’m not infallible and I’ve got it wrong a few times that I know of. I do think there are more frequent posting styles associated with each sex. Yes it’s stereotypical but there you go.

I think @ohfook made a good point.

Not MN but I remember reading a new book by an initialled author I assumed to be male until I’d read a few chapters and went hmm I’m sure this was written by a woman.

It was - it was a pseudonym.

I know it’s 50/50 but it was a crime novel and so many of the male writers write through the male gaze and this …wasn’t. Made it obvious.

I’d consider it more male socialisation people are picking up on - ie that special brand of entitled and aggressive.

I’m not really sure why you are scoffing at this. There’s plenty of research into the fact that generally men and women’s writing styles differ. And spend enough time both online and in the workplace exchanging emails you see patterns. Of course there will always be outliers but there is a pattern.

Usually after having a strong suspicion the man will make himself known after a few posts by self-declaring anyway.

Not always but I often find if a poster mistakes their own opinion for a fact, states it and then seems surprised when people disagree then they turn out to be male. However I think this is part of a wider societal issue of men being incorrectly considered less emotional than women so therefore them believing that their opinions are grounded in fact and logic whereas ours are just our feelings!

And yet I'm right a lot of the time

😂 If you say so. How would you even know?!

And yet I'm right a lot of the time.

I don't mind men who come here and chat, hang out, comment helpfully. I do mind men who wouldn't normally be seen dead talking to groups of women, want to slag off their overworked wife on Relationships, complain she's not shagging him enough, and get a lot of women to agree with them.

Men have a million places online. A million. About a 60:40 split male:female on most online fora. More in tech, sports etc. 70:30. Men have space to talk. A lot of fora are opening hostile to women, harassing, threatening and sexually repulsive. Gamergate anyone? They don't need MNers to be handmaidens.

You only have to see how many of them turn when challenged on their behaviour. "I knew this place would be full of feminazi bitches." Off you fuck then.

But nice men? Great.

Not just in Relationships - all topics.

Ah yes, because women only write in dainty little paragraphs.
😕🙄😁
No, people on here can't usually tell and "Urg. Man" gets thrown about all the time, usually when it's someone posting in disagreement with a comment.

When I was young and fed up of being patronised, I used to post on anonymous forums without specifying my sex. I found men tended to assume I was male and women tended to assume I was female.

Went out of the window when I had babies and wanted to talk about the uniquely female experiences that involved.

Research suggests that people can tell the sex of people from writing style with about 80% accuracy.

It is stereotyping, but it's a stereotype that's relatively accurate because the way we communicate is socialized to a fairly extreme extent.

Right - it's not a balanced sample. It's a pretty small group of men posting on MNR, and maybe it's more like, of that group, can you often tell, rather than being some generalisable fact about men. And I think so? I think I can often tell, weirdly, now you ask. And it is something to do with post length, even though I agree that women also write walls of text. What is it? It's something.

Agree that awkward themming is more usually a lesbian, and mainly that's derailing until they say oh my DW is a woman and so am I, but sometimes it's a man.

(I mainly assume lesbian with themming because it's part of my default assumption set, though appreciate not everyone's, even nowadays.)

Yep, on the football forum I'm on, everyone assumed that I was a bloke for years, and I couldn't be arsed to correct them.

I think part of it can be peoples preconceptions about the user base of the forum.

I'm mainly either on here or Reddit - and on reddit the person I see in my head is that every one is a 20 year old bloke, whereas on here my default assumption is woman in her 30s. It takes evidence to the contrary before I see someone different.

I do find that on reddit, subreddits where peoples lives are being dug into, like relationships, or Am I the Arsehole, it's a lot easier to tell straight away. I think it's just easier to tell when the person is describing their own lives, rather than politics, or the new Spiderman film etc.

I’ve pretty frequently been accused of being male on anonymous forums (fora?). So, it’s maybe not as clear cut as people think.

I do my fair share of "Man Here!"-ing though when it's relevant so I haven't been trying to hide it, honest!

LOL that was how I worked it out. Not my amazing powers of deduction. 😀

Haha, good to know I pass!

I think it's probably because I don't tend to start many threads myself, particularly not on Relationships. I think it's easier to fly under the radar when it's not your own life being picked apart on a thread.

I do my fair share of "Man Here!"-ing though when it's relevant so I haven't been trying to hide it, honest!

I think it’s the mansplaining - even if subtle seeps through-
or the ‘I need more sex’ vibe

appreciate I have made big sweeping assumptions. - but hopefully you get the gist

Plenty of women write huge walls of text.

I don't agree, actually. I certainly don't think TWAW but I wouldn't be able to tell from writing style.

When they start whinging about the lack of sex while their knackered post partum partner manages the house and kids its usually a bit of a giveaway

I do sometimes read threads and think “hmm, this sounds like a man posting” but I don’t think it’s necessarily because men and women write in a different style.

I think Mumsnet has a particular style and unwritten rules around etiquette that long term posters follow.

People who just pop on to (specifically to this board) produce a “gotcha” moment haven't usually been here long enough to sound like a Mumsnetter.

Not always but very much usually. The differences in socialisation come through very quickly.

Wall of text. Urg. Man.

Ironically considering the first post, @VimesandhisCardboardBootshad me fooled. Possibly the Pratchett link blinded me.

Yes I can tell if it's a bloke within maybe the first paragraph.