Should access to mental health services depend on you saying pronouns?

I'm sorry you encountered this, OP, and I completely understand that it is a barrier to accessing the support that you want and are entitled to.

Any questionnaire that asks about 'your pronouns' is unnecessarily taking sides in a contentious social issue that is recent, irrational, and probably temporary.

Any health questionnaire that asks about 'your pronouns' or 'gender' but not about your biological sex is missing out a vitally important piece of medical information.

I recently got an information pack about planning end-of-life care. It asks about pronouns and gender, but not sex.

I had a similar reaction to the OP's - a mixture of
'Oh FFS!'
and
'How can I trust these people to treat me properly and respectfully if they can't even acknowledge that I'm a biological woman, or that the category 'woman' is biologically defined and of medical significance?'

I understand that it's a barrier, OP. You don't want to be seeking support from people who clearly don't accept how you define yourself, i.e. according to your biological sex, and what position you take on this social issue.

I'd feel the same. A therapist who indicated that they believe that some men can become women, or that we must all act as if some men can become women, is not somebody I'd feel I could trust.

I hope you get the support you need, without having to slalom through ideologically-motivated practices.

the fun of working with international partners who just assume your name is male , the difference it can make to working relationships

strangely I have found that once the relationship is established then them realising you are female doesn’t seem to matter so much

If they only asked for sex they would know what to call her. To sensible people pronouns are sex-based. I would feel the same as the OP. If the organisation concerned is in thrall to gender identity ideology I'd doubt they could help me.

Indeed. Surely I'm not the only one who has omitted my first name on occasion?

Nobody would be bothered about being asked their pronouns if it was to clarify that Dr Alex Smith is "she".

Yes, yes they really would.

Women have fought for years to have the option of not revealing their sex when it is not relevant.

If you want to know the sex of a doctor, then the question is 'what is the sex of the doctor?', not a round about question about how the doctor's identity relates to gender.

I can only conclude that the last few decades of feminism have completely passed you by.

Say head of psychology has gone along with the pronoun narrative then there will be pressure within the service that everyone abides by that. Not every service has a head of psychology that way inclined. It may have even come from above head of psychology - managers pen pushers. NHS England - not sure they still exist. Although there are some heads of psychology that would say no way lol. Then when an app is made, if those in charge are like yes, pronouns are the way forward,then the app will be as you have experienced. Very annoying I agree.

Did you look at the list of pronouns? It isn't only he/his, she/her or they/their. Not caring about pronouns should be an option or at least the ability to state biological sex not "identifying as" and skip everything else.

Many GC women would be happy and not feel discriminated by a simple option of biological sex and corresponding sex based pronouns or they/them/their if you identify as other.

Unfortunately the NHS is a big place. Some within it have gone along with / advocate the pronoun thing. Like on emails you get people putting she/her or what have you. It's a powerful narrative. It does also speak to the framework within mental health support.

If you want a different framework unfortunately you're probably better off going private. BACP/BPC/UKCP/BABCP for CBT specific.

You can also google CBT self help. Probably not that far off what a mental health practitioner will offer tbh. Clinical psychologist will work with more unwell and even then it doesn't seem to be as standard. Psychotherapist even more rare. Counselling not really offered, sometimes maybe as iAPT service
Often counselling for depression. Very specific. You might be offered CBT online groups. Unfortunately it's not great atm.

It's partly due to NICE which is another discussion tbh.

I hate this kind of crap. I live in NZ and we had a similar thing a few years back with our census. There was no way to answer it truthfully (which you’re supposed to do) if you didn’t believe in gender identity. As PPs have said, it’s the same as having a religion question with no option to choose ‘atheist’ or ‘no religion’.

I and many others simply refused to complete the census and it became a shit show. Feels a whole lot worse when it’s preventing access to healthcare though. Hope you get support OP.

Nobody would be bothered about being asked their pronouns if it was to clarify that Dr Alex Smith is "she". This is all, at base, about the concern that there are males requesting to be referred to as she.

I'm out of this discussion if people can't even acknowledge to themselves the fundamental reason that this issue bothers them.

If don't see how it raises questions about quality of support to be asked how you want others to refer to you.

It's not too different to being asked, "How do you want to us to refer to the god you worship? Allah or God?".
I can't imagine for a second that you go through life using people's preferred pronouns. I imagine 1000 times a day you refer to someone using the pronouns you've chosen for them.

That's like asking someone whether they are Christian, Muslim or Hindu with no option to say No religion or Jewish and no possibility of progressing without replying one of those three options. People who don't believe in gender ideology object to stating their gender and pronouns.

To put it in terms that some people may find easier to understand:

Some people find the question 'triggering'.
Some people find the question offensive.
Some people find the question confusing.

We don't cater for the people who want the question and disregard all the other people who don't want the question, or we risk indirectly discriminating. We also risk, as two people on here have pointed out, causing people to self exclude from services.

"I'm not trying to stop you feeling however you want. Except that I will insist on telling you how you feel"

Bollocks.

I asked for both options to be available. So that everyone is catered for.

Please explain why a pronoun is compelled?
What's wrong with a "if you'd like us to call you by a particular pronoun, say here. If you don't want to, move on to the next question? (or something more concise 😃)

Why must genderism be imposed on an unconsenting public?

I know the NHS is awash with wasted money hence all this enforced nonsense, but it's time for it to stop.

I understand that some people find it difficult to understand that men are not at the centre of everything, but no, that is not the reason.

Then pronoun people can choose the one they are moat comfortable.with. And yes, maybe 'none' should be an option here

Nobody is suggesting that there shouldn't be an option to fill in preferred pronouns.

I don't believe anyone is being prevented from accessing mental health care by being asked how they want somebody else to refer to them.

Are you familiar with the reasons why people access mental health care?

They're preventing themselves from accessing that help on the basis of a principle (that nobody male should have their wish to be addressed as"she" acceded to) which is not a hill worth dying on.

That isn't the problem at all, as has been explained repeatedly.

I'm not trying to stop you feeling however you want.

But let's be honest, this is not about being asked to say what pronouns you want the therapist to refer to you by.

This is about NOT wanting other people to be able to specify that they want to be called "she" when they are male.

It's not refer to you though, it's talk about you in the third person. If it's a one-to-one service only, can't see how it's relevant. Even if the service involves eg potentially writing to someones gp, then they could still use "this patient" .

If you are giving your name, then a drop down box for titles is not unusual but they can use the sames.mrs.dr etc as evri, BT and everyone else

Well I guess if I needed to access the service I wouldn’t know how I would want to be referred to because I don’t have a clue if I am she or he

when it was biology I could understand

now I don’t know

this isn’t totally hypothetical. I have suffered gender dysmorphia, I won’t talk about some of the thoughts that I have had, but it’s not a nice experience. It’s something that never goes away totally. It was strongest in my teens.

by “picking a side” saying TWAW then for people who have found other ways to cope with gender dysmorphia are penalised. Which is a shame because I think my way which doesn’t involve drugs or surgery has a lot going for it. But when people insist TWAW then the “ bad feelings “ resurface strongly.

I would have to avoid the service because I know rationally that I don’t want to be pushed down the medical and surgical route. That scares me - and it scares me what a pull/ attraction there is in surgery to make me feel more comfortable in my own skin

but I am sure it’s wrong

Asking for equitable or equal treatment is not 'mad'.

You know what, ten years of being gaslit, attacked, doxxed, threatened, abused, and insulted may well have caused PTSD or similar in many women who dared to stand up and suggest that it was not possible to change sex.

That's not up to you, though.

Other people are allowed to have feelings and beliefs that are different.

Why have 'pronouns' in there at all? Just scrap it, if it's all so mad.

Either the NHS caters for those who wish to specify pronouns AND it caters for those who do not wish to specify pronouns, or it is discriminating.