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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What TRAs or 'gender' advocates and 'gender critical' feminists agree on.

507 replies

WrongKindOfFeminist · 18/07/2026 11:21

Thought it might be useful to find points of commonality.

Ever the optimist! 😊

  1. Gender stereotypes can be restrictive and limiting.
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GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 15:05

@RedToothBrush

"The phrase is tough shit."

I think if there's a thread on commonalities between TRAs and GCs and the only thing you can offer is 'tough shit', then you're maybe not engaging with it as it was intended.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 21/07/2026 15:04

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 15:02

@Seethlaw Only one side of the spectrum is polarised. Women here are open to discussion with TRAs, while any GC person trying to discuss with trans people in their places will immediately be banned.

I also find that a little disingenuous when I've seen some of the extremes on this site; if a TRA came here and started a discussion, they wouldn't exactly be welcomed with open arms.

Why should they be? They would absolutely be debated with if they genuinely wanted a good faith debate. But we’re not a part of the internet that fawns over entitled men, no.

Seethlaw · 21/07/2026 15:03

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 15:00

"Yes. But how is that women's problem?"

This is exactly what I meant by this

"when I brought them up in another thread I was immediately met with a chorus of "Well, what do you want me to do about it?", as if acknowledging a problem is the same as demanding an answer."

In no way am I suggesting that this is women's problem. Raising a point is not the same as demanding an answer.

Then why raise it at all?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 21/07/2026 15:03

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 14:52

@nicepotoftea
Another issue is that the 'no debate' line makes it very difficult to engage with anyone.

I'm sure I'm going to get all sort of flames that'll prove my point here, but I think acting as if TRAs are the only ones who invoke 'no debate' is a bit disingenuous.

When I've brought stuff like that up before, I get all sort of replies saying that GCs 'aren't a monolith' (which, obviously I agree with), then treating all transpeople (read: transpeople, not TRAs) as a monolith. I suppose this is the polarisation I've been trying to illustrate.

What do you want to debate? Can’t see anyone preventing you from doing so. They were objecting to your framing.

RedToothBrush · 21/07/2026 15:03

Yes, but there are also pretty significant obstacles facing transpeople; they're more at risk of violent crime
This is demonstrably statisticay untrue in the UK.

and there is a genuine crisis WRT medical care for them.
The healthcare of transpeople relies on three things that activists are seeking to avoid: one is recognition of their sex and the second is good quality research on health care. The third thing is transparency and good process. This is the one that is being pushed hardest against.

The denial on all fronts does little to further your arguments.

And before any whataboutism which I'm sure is going to be thrown; yes, there is a minority of violent transpeople - that doesn't mean we shouldn't care about the majority of non-violent transpeople who are at higher risk.
You are suggesting we don't care about this. We absolutely do, but we don't achieve this by supporting lies within our society. Nor do we achieve this through forcing others to pretend to believe shit they just don't. It's a counterproductive thing which probably is causing a lot of the problems. I also want to stress here the boy who cried wolf bullshit going on here: transpeople are NOT the most vulnerable in our society. See my reference to stats above. There are far too many who are framing the literal violence of not affirming pronouns as worse than the threats and actual violence against women that has gone on. There are far too many who have come out with the hyperbolic 'genocide'. It needs to stop for this to move forward.

Similarly, the lack of medical care (doctors not knowing how to care for transpeople) does bear some similarity to medical misogyny. I'd hope that there's some commonality there.
See my above comment. You can't ignore sex. It's relevant. Stop making out it's not. That's unscientific.

I think it's the whole 'sympathy vs empathy' argument which is overlooked in a lot of internet discussions; disagreeing with TRAs can lead some GC people to bury their head in the sand about issues that transpeople do face - when I brought them up in another thread I was immediately met with a chorus of "Well, what do you want me to do about it?", as if acknowledging a problem is the same as demanding an answer.
This tiny violin has no strings left after all the above has been repeatedly ignored.

The rest of your post continues in the same vein.

Until there is an acknowledgement of the flaws in what trans activists have said, there is no way forward.

The phrase is tough shit.

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 15:02

@Seethlaw Only one side of the spectrum is polarised. Women here are open to discussion with TRAs, while any GC person trying to discuss with trans people in their places will immediately be banned.

I also find that a little disingenuous when I've seen some of the extremes on this site; if a TRA came here and started a discussion, they wouldn't exactly be welcomed with open arms.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 21/07/2026 15:01

@GiddyGiddyGiddy your arguments are no more convincing on this thread than they were on the other one you keep referencing.

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 15:00

"Yes. But how is that women's problem?"

This is exactly what I meant by this

"when I brought them up in another thread I was immediately met with a chorus of "Well, what do you want me to do about it?", as if acknowledging a problem is the same as demanding an answer."

In no way am I suggesting that this is women's problem. Raising a point is not the same as demanding an answer.

Keeptoiletssafe · 21/07/2026 14:59

What TRAs or 'gender' advocates and
'gender critical' feminists agree on:

Toilets for mixed sex use have to be private from floor to ceiling.

(Apart from a few men who want women’s toilets to stay how they are).

Seethlaw · 21/07/2026 14:57

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 14:49

Yes, but there are also pretty significant obstacles facing transpeople; they're more at risk of violent crime and there is a genuine crisis WRT medical care for them.

And before any whataboutism which I'm sure is going to be thrown; yes, there is a minority of violent transpeople - that doesn't mean we shouldn't care about the majority of non-violent transpeople who are at higher risk.

Similarly, the lack of medical care (doctors not knowing how to care for transpeople) does bear some similarity to medical misogyny. I'd hope that there's some commonality there.

I think it's the whole 'sympathy vs empathy' argument which is overlooked in a lot of internet discussions; disagreeing with TRAs can lead some GC people to bury their head in the sand about issues that transpeople do face - when I brought them up in another thread I was immediately met with a chorus of "Well, what do you want me to do about it?", as if acknowledging a problem is the same as demanding an answer.

You'd have to bury your head in the sand to ignore the fact that transpeople do get harassment, e.g. on the street, and I can understand that that may make them more jumpy; in the same way that catcalling when I was younger made me wary of all men, I can see how everyday harassment could make transpeople at least somewhat wary of more extreme GCs. It certainly doesn't excuse the actions of violent TRAs, and it's not conducive to discussion because it does make commonality seem less achievable on both sides.

I'm not claiming that there's an answer here, but I do think that polarisation on extreme ends of the spectrum, particularly on social media, is one of the biggest barriers to having any kind of civilised discussion.

Yes, but there are also pretty significant obstacles facing transpeople; they're more at risk of violent crime and there is a genuine crisis WRT medical care for them.

Yes. But how is that women's problem?

Similarly, the lack of medical care (doctors not knowing how to care for transpeople) does bear some similarity to medical misogyny. I'd hope that there's some commonality there.

Sure, but again, how is that women's problem?

I can see how everyday harassment could make transpeople at least somewhat wary of more extreme GCs.

Erm, what? You've got this the wrong way around. It's GC women who had to go to court to defend their rights, while trans people are free to threaten violence on GC women. So if anyone is right to be wary, it's GC women.

I do think that polarisation on extreme ends of the spectrum,

Only one side of the spectrum is polarised. Women here are open to discussion with TRAs, while any GC person trying to discuss with trans people in their places will immediately be banned.

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 14:57

N.b. That's not to disagree with @nicepotoftea! I think you're absolutely correct about the 'no debate' extremists, and that they are a far bigger impediment to the debate.

I think Brexit is a v good parallel to draw, with both sides sketching the other at their most cartoonishly extreme (e.g. Violent Racists vs. Woolly Hippies) which only seeks to widen divides. It's a symptom of these discussions taking place so often online instead of in-person; it's as if the person has to represent their entire 'side' of the debate instead of just their own personal viewpont.

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 14:52

@nicepotoftea
Another issue is that the 'no debate' line makes it very difficult to engage with anyone.

I'm sure I'm going to get all sort of flames that'll prove my point here, but I think acting as if TRAs are the only ones who invoke 'no debate' is a bit disingenuous.

When I've brought stuff like that up before, I get all sort of replies saying that GCs 'aren't a monolith' (which, obviously I agree with), then treating all transpeople (read: transpeople, not TRAs) as a monolith. I suppose this is the polarisation I've been trying to illustrate.

RedToothBrush · 21/07/2026 14:52

nicepotoftea · 21/07/2026 14:35

Yet, although many ignored the existence of NI, it wasn't taboo to mention the border or the Troubles or the Good Friday Agreement.

I don't know if it's possible to have a discussion that acknowledges the impact of sex. Who would one be talking to?

ETA: except a judge? There have been many complaints about GCs using law fare, but what other forum is there?

Edited

The UK governance system is built on the three pillars of democracy. These are the people, the courts and the law makers.

Each holds the other to account and prevents over reach and over plays of power.

We are seeing the workings of democracy and equality in action with how things have played out in the UK.

Free speech is one of the things central to this.

When parts of the public have over reached and misrepresented the law the courts have corrected. When politicians have misrepresented the law the public (and media) have had them to account. The politicians can no change the law because there is no public support for such a change, thus the courts can not go beyond where the law now stands.

It's working.

There are lots of people who don't like it working. They are a threat to Equality and Democratic process.

I see them for what they are as much as I see aggressive men in dresses for what they are.

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 14:49

RedToothBrush · 21/07/2026 13:16

We have to work on the basis of 'the worst possible outcome' in all safeguarding scenarios.

It's about preventing failure.

We have an observable group actively and openly campaigning to harm women's only provisions and advocating violence as a means to do this.

At this point, they effectively prove the concerns women had all along are completely valid.

There is no other position at this point.

Yes, but there are also pretty significant obstacles facing transpeople; they're more at risk of violent crime and there is a genuine crisis WRT medical care for them.

And before any whataboutism which I'm sure is going to be thrown; yes, there is a minority of violent transpeople - that doesn't mean we shouldn't care about the majority of non-violent transpeople who are at higher risk.

Similarly, the lack of medical care (doctors not knowing how to care for transpeople) does bear some similarity to medical misogyny. I'd hope that there's some commonality there.

I think it's the whole 'sympathy vs empathy' argument which is overlooked in a lot of internet discussions; disagreeing with TRAs can lead some GC people to bury their head in the sand about issues that transpeople do face - when I brought them up in another thread I was immediately met with a chorus of "Well, what do you want me to do about it?", as if acknowledging a problem is the same as demanding an answer.

You'd have to bury your head in the sand to ignore the fact that transpeople do get harassment, e.g. on the street, and I can understand that that may make them more jumpy; in the same way that catcalling when I was younger made me wary of all men, I can see how everyday harassment could make transpeople at least somewhat wary of more extreme GCs. It certainly doesn't excuse the actions of violent TRAs, and it's not conducive to discussion because it does make commonality seem less achievable on both sides.

I'm not claiming that there's an answer here, but I do think that polarisation on extreme ends of the spectrum, particularly on social media, is one of the biggest barriers to having any kind of civilised discussion.

nicepotoftea · 21/07/2026 14:35

RedToothBrush · 21/07/2026 14:21

Just with Brexit there are truths that are unreconcilable which can not be ignored.

For Brexit it was Northern Ireland - which I correctly identified BEFORE the vote.

For GI it's that biology is real and exists and that women have a legitimate need for things to be organised along the lines of biological sex for some scenarios.

These are unchanging and unchangeable with deep and significant harms being done. They aren't up for negotiation as a result.

Yet, although many ignored the existence of NI, it wasn't taboo to mention the border or the Troubles or the Good Friday Agreement.

I don't know if it's possible to have a discussion that acknowledges the impact of sex. Who would one be talking to?

ETA: except a judge? There have been many complaints about GCs using law fare, but what other forum is there?

RedToothBrush · 21/07/2026 14:24

Pingponghavoc · 21/07/2026 13:46

Its like MPs, they are either signing letters saying we should tear up the recent guidance, or they are pretending nothing is happening.

I dont see any TRA groups who are acknowledging the importance of sex and are organising accordingly. Its either sex is irrelevant or single sex spaces are anti rights.

Quite.

And single sex rights are actively enshrined into law. They were enshrined into law for GOOD reason. These reasons have not ceased to exist despite many people trying to claim they have.

RedToothBrush · 21/07/2026 14:21

nicepotoftea · 21/07/2026 13:27

Another issue is that the 'no debate' line makes it very difficult to engage with anyone.

Brexit might have been very contentious, but we could at least acknowledge that the choice was between remaining in the EU or leaving.

With this issue, just agreeing the terms to be discussed seems impossible, at least outside the courts.

Just with Brexit there are truths that are unreconcilable which can not be ignored.

For Brexit it was Northern Ireland - which I correctly identified BEFORE the vote.

For GI it's that biology is real and exists and that women have a legitimate need for things to be organised along the lines of biological sex for some scenarios.

These are unchanging and unchangeable with deep and significant harms being done. They aren't up for negotiation as a result.

PrettyDamnCosmic · 21/07/2026 13:55

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 12:27

For example this: I don't think tarring all transpeople with the same brush as the worst of them does anyone any favours, and only toxifies the debate further.

Planning for the worst case is how safeguarding works.

Pingponghavoc · 21/07/2026 13:46

Seethlaw · 21/07/2026 13:22

I don't know about "who", but what about "what"? What would be a middle ground position? All I can think of is advocating for additional third (well, fourth, really) spaces. So far, nobody's advocating for it, and the TRAs, who should be the ones pushing for it, don't even want to hear about it. So I guess that answers the "who" as well: nobody.

Its like MPs, they are either signing letters saying we should tear up the recent guidance, or they are pretending nothing is happening.

I dont see any TRA groups who are acknowledging the importance of sex and are organising accordingly. Its either sex is irrelevant or single sex spaces are anti rights.

Pingponghavoc · 21/07/2026 13:40

nicepotoftea · 21/07/2026 13:21

I think I misunderstood - I was referring to the general public.

I get that the general public arent anywhere near AI, I was talking about who we should ignore as extreme on the TRA and who we should listen to.

AI is an organisation that shouldnt be extremists and similar to trolls on Internet.

nicepotoftea · 21/07/2026 13:27

RedToothBrush · 21/07/2026 13:16

We have to work on the basis of 'the worst possible outcome' in all safeguarding scenarios.

It's about preventing failure.

We have an observable group actively and openly campaigning to harm women's only provisions and advocating violence as a means to do this.

At this point, they effectively prove the concerns women had all along are completely valid.

There is no other position at this point.

Another issue is that the 'no debate' line makes it very difficult to engage with anyone.

Brexit might have been very contentious, but we could at least acknowledge that the choice was between remaining in the EU or leaving.

With this issue, just agreeing the terms to be discussed seems impossible, at least outside the courts.

Seethlaw · 21/07/2026 13:22

Pingponghavoc · 21/07/2026 13:15

Who are the middle ground - the TRA who we should look at to represent the true feelings of trans people?

I don't know about "who", but what about "what"? What would be a middle ground position? All I can think of is advocating for additional third (well, fourth, really) spaces. So far, nobody's advocating for it, and the TRAs, who should be the ones pushing for it, don't even want to hear about it. So I guess that answers the "who" as well: nobody.

nicepotoftea · 21/07/2026 13:21

Pingponghavoc · 21/07/2026 13:15

Who are the middle ground - the TRA who we should look at to represent the true feelings of trans people?

I think I misunderstood - I was referring to the general public.

RedToothBrush · 21/07/2026 13:16

GiddyGiddyGiddy · 21/07/2026 12:27

For example this: I don't think tarring all transpeople with the same brush as the worst of them does anyone any favours, and only toxifies the debate further.

We have to work on the basis of 'the worst possible outcome' in all safeguarding scenarios.

It's about preventing failure.

We have an observable group actively and openly campaigning to harm women's only provisions and advocating violence as a means to do this.

At this point, they effectively prove the concerns women had all along are completely valid.

There is no other position at this point.

Pingponghavoc · 21/07/2026 13:15

Who are the middle ground - the TRA who we should look at to represent the true feelings of trans people?

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