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Original poster

Scared of gender neutral bathrooms

84 replies

toilettalking · 18/07/2026 11:09

Hi everyone,

I hope this is the right place to post this.

I have recently seen the news about the change to single sex spaces coming in on the 5th August in relation to toilets etc and I am terrified.

I have been sexually assaulted by a man (in case it was relevant this was not a transgender person) in a gender neutral toilet. It was horrific and I will now avoid at all costs using a gender neutral bathroom unless I am with my boyfriend and he can come and almost stand guard.

I’m really concerned that in light of this new guidance a lot of places may introduce these mixed sex gender neutral toilets as a way of avoiding any headache or potential issue with the new guidance.

I’m just wondering if anyone has any more idea on this than I do and knows if this is likely or not?

I’m so worried that public toilets or even changing rooms are going to become inaccessible to me.

As an aside, I understand that now it will be completely based on biological sex. Due to the above, I’d be absolutely terrified to be in a toilet with someone who was biologically female but presented as very male (eg deep voice, beard etc etc). Does anyone know if this is likely to become common or do you think people who seem to present such a way will continue to use men’s toilets?

I hope this is the right place for support and guidance, many thanks!

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 18/07/2026 11:27

Yes. It’s definitely indirect sex discrimination in many cases if they do imo. About half of all women over 35 have some form of incontinence, and I think if anything transmen who have transitioned medically will suffer more in that way. Women care more about safe toilet provision than men and need it more.

Original poster
toilettalking · 18/07/2026 11:25

GriseldaandMike · 18/07/2026 11:23

I am I the only one that certainly isn't going to reassure the OP that transmen will/should use the mens?

There are other websites that would love to see MumsNet recommend transmen use the mens so they can use this to justify transwomen in the ladies.

Show quote history

Hello, I’m not looking for assurance this will happen, more of it people think it’s likely or not, if that makes sense.

In any event, whilst I likely would find this shocking or it would give me an immediate panic that would subside, it’s not really the main point of my post re completely neutral toilets

OP posts:
Original poster
toilettalking · 18/07/2026 11:24

PermanentTemporary · 18/07/2026 11:22

Yes of course where men are more likely to be drunk or high the risk is greater. I think if your favourite places save money by choosing to move to mixed sex toilets, complain.

thank you, I’m hoping that it won’t happen everywhere but I will think about complaining if my usual spots go down this route as it would genuinely stop me from going there

OP posts:
GriseldaandMike · 18/07/2026 11:23

RoyalCorgi · 18/07/2026 11:18

As an aside, I understand that now it will be completely based on biological sex. Due to the above, I’d be absolutely terrified to be in a toilet with someone who was biologically female but presented as very male (eg deep voice, beard etc etc). Does anyone know if this is likely to become common or do you think people who seem to present such a way will continue to use men’s toilets?

Really?

I am I the only one that certainly isn't going to reassure the OP that transmen will/should use the mens?

There are other websites that would love to see MumsNet recommend transmen use the mens so they can use this to justify transwomen in the ladies.

Original poster
toilettalking · 18/07/2026 11:23

RoyalCorgi · 18/07/2026 11:18

As an aside, I understand that now it will be completely based on biological sex. Due to the above, I’d be absolutely terrified to be in a toilet with someone who was biologically female but presented as very male (eg deep voice, beard etc etc). Does anyone know if this is likely to become common or do you think people who seem to present such a way will continue to use men’s toilets?

Really?

Hi, not sure of your question here. As in, would I really be scared of someone who seemed at first glance to be a man? Yes I would. Or, is it really likely to happen? I don’t know that’s why I’m asking!

I have come on here for some support/advice really so not sure of your question

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 18/07/2026 11:22

Yes of course where men are more likely to be drunk or high the risk is greater. I think if your favourite places save money by choosing to move to mixed sex toilets, complain.

RoyalCorgi · 18/07/2026 11:18

As an aside, I understand that now it will be completely based on biological sex. Due to the above, I’d be absolutely terrified to be in a toilet with someone who was biologically female but presented as very male (eg deep voice, beard etc etc). Does anyone know if this is likely to become common or do you think people who seem to present such a way will continue to use men’s toilets?

Really?

Original poster
toilettalking · 18/07/2026 11:17

PermanentTemporary · 18/07/2026 11:13

I’m sorry that happened to you. Public toilets are less and less common of course in the UK which gives their own problems as true public toilets aren’t maintained well. Perhaps best to stick to well lit, well maintained toilet provision in busy areas and perhaps you will feel safer. In general women’s toilets are busier because there are fewer resources for women, so that may help. Most transmen are very obviously female so it shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

The assault actually happened in a toilet in a bar, so not a true public toilet in that sense.

thank you for your words, it is very difficult to navigate

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 18/07/2026 11:13

I’m sorry that happened to you. Public toilets are less and less common of course in the UK which gives their own problems as true public toilets aren’t maintained well. Perhaps best to stick to well lit, well maintained toilet provision in busy areas and perhaps you will feel safer. In general women’s toilets are busier because there are fewer resources for women, so that may help. Most transmen are very obviously female so it shouldn’t be too much of an issue.