You know... That's kind of terrifying to me. Because I absolutely was a trans kid, who thought I should have been a boy. And the idea that I might have said so at the age of 4, when I don't remember anything about being 4, and then my entire life would have been completely altered because of something I wouldn't even remember saying... Yeah, it's terrifying. The idea that my mother, my family, my teachers, my doctors, everyone, would have encouraged me to believe that I would grow up to have a male body, that I just had to take pills and then undergo massive surgeries, and I would, one day, finally, have a male body, a male life, just like other boys... It's absolutely terrifying to me.
And then! Then to slowly realise, as I grew up and went through those steps, that people had LIED to me, and that I would in fact NEVER have a male body, that I would NEVER have a functioning penis, that I would NEVER be able to become a biological father... Ugh! That part is pure nightmare fuel. Realising that everyone LIED to me, my loved ones, my trusted ones, and that they supposedly did it out of LOVE, so I can't even express how fucking betrayed and HURT I am in the end...
Wow. I had a truly shitty childhood. I often tell myself that, "It could have been worse still!" But the idea that it could have been THAT worse, just because of something I might have said at the age of FOUR, chills me to the bones.