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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Has there been an influx of TRAs to Mumsnet recently?

288 replies

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:08

I'm a long time reader. Only recently started to participate.

I very rarely saw any TRAs on here over the years. But in the past few weeks, I've noticed a lot of them coming here.

You can generally tell by the absolute shite coming out of their mouths, such as being avid apologists for sex offenders.

What's their deal with coming here? Are they saying that their 'womanhood' is reliant on us conforming to their belief, so they're trying to get us to agree with them? If that's so, then welcome!!! You're going to have to get used to reality real quick if you stick around.

Has anyone else noticed this, or just me?

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SwirlyGates · 17/06/2026 21:03

Yes, I've noticed a bunch of unfamiliar usernames (new to me at any rate, I don't remember everyone of course), posting nonsense over and over on otherwise interesting threads. I don't know if they are genuinely confused or, more likely, have come over here from BlueHair or Reddit with the intention of derailing so they can say, "Oh look, I wasted a lot of TERF time today."

DramaAndBullshit · 17/06/2026 18:50

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:20

It's very strange.

They're always going to be men. If they want us to affirm them, the least they could do is be the kind of men we actually like.

Somehow, with one hand they offer "Be nice to us." and with the other hand they offer a hairy-knuckled punch to the jaw.

Or an encounter with a splintery rolling

Lovely chaps, so calm, so reasonable, so stunning and brave. No threat to women at all

Has there been an influx of TRAs to Mumsnet recently?
IwantToRetire · 17/06/2026 18:46

I dont know if it is any worse. It does seem to go in waves.

And there are a few determined individuals who just cant help themselves, or are collecting material for a book or ...

But it has to be said many come back because it is as likely that a whole thread will be high jacked because some of us on FWR just cant help responding to the bait!

So for them, that in itself is a satisfaction. Trapping a woman or women into giving up their time to acknowledging them as worthwhile communicating with!

And also makes many threads become pointless, because their responses are pretty much the same on every thread, so then every thread just becomes a repetition of other threads.

Not always of course! But so many just become a sort of ground hog day "discussion"!

Keeptoiletssafe · 17/06/2026 18:35

Toilets
Toilets
Toilets

UtopiaPlanitia · 17/06/2026 17:46

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:24

They seem to lose every single argument.

"Sex is real and observable."
"But gender identity."
"Gender identity isn't observable, and defeats itself when introspected, like most delusions."
"But gender identity."
"We've been over this."
"But gender identity."

But they always still believe in the same thing. JK Rowling was right. It's a religion. And probably the stupidest of all of them.

Don't forget the OTT attempts at shaming us and at being overly emotional to try making us feel guilty for defending ourselves against attacks on our rights and spaces. These types bring a lot of drama but not much else because when they realise FWR isn't going to fall for it they quickly turn aggressive, sarcastic and bitter. They often hang around for a few months, sniping at regular posters on various threads.

RedToothBrush · 17/06/2026 17:00

TheatreOfAttrition · 17/06/2026 16:51

It seems to ebb and flow over the years. We might be having a bit of a ‘peak’ because things are going very badly for the MRA-TRAs. I certainly know more of my London-based ‘gay and queer’ (as was) friends are withdrawing from the ‘T+’. And they don’t like the appropriation of their ‘Q-ness’ at all: I think the penny has dropped.

Additionally there seems to be a new model of PR in operation in cuckoo land generally, that eschews sensible crisis management and veers immaturely toward more of a ‘narcissistic desperation floundering’.

See also: David & Victoria Beckham; Mermaids-supporting Prince Harry, & Meghan; various ‘celeb’ politicians and former politicians, without or without daughters, dinosaurs and select committee places.

Professional Rent-A-Cause Types.

Harry Styles and Co (Inc his Mum) learnt the hard way you can't just trust charities. You should do due diligence too and if something doesn't smell quite right don't assume everyone is as nice as they appear as they might just take advantage of your good nature.

(Reference to the BBC documentary Mother of All Cons which will have you all going wtf. All about a mother who seems to have used her daughter via Munchausen by Proxy.... An enlightening watch for MNetters this one. Recommend).

Hedgehogforshort · 17/06/2026 17:00

Here we go

TheatreOfAttrition · 17/06/2026 16:58

342524u · 17/06/2026 16:56

It's really creepy when someone looks the OP up to try and make an argument instead of just taking in the actual argument. It means they don't have a leg to stand on

Edited

Yeah, especially when anyone can name change like I did for this thread. Because of creepy behaviour of dudes that follow me around like that.

GreyskySexRealistsky · 17/06/2026 16:57

RedToothBrush · 17/06/2026 16:54

"Sex realist" is apparently an insult round these parts.

I have reclaimed it!

342524u · 17/06/2026 16:56

sussexman · 17/06/2026 16:53

I see from Search that you have only commented on posts about this issue; perhaps that explains why you have seen so many opinions different from yours.

It's really creepy when someone looks the OP up to try and make an argument instead of just taking in the actual argument. It means they don't have a leg to stand on

RedToothBrush · 17/06/2026 16:54

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:32

In threads where I've started a poll, they often accuse me of trying to make sex realists look bad.

"Sex realist" is apparently an insult round these parts.

sussexman · 17/06/2026 16:53

I see from Search that you have only commented on posts about this issue; perhaps that explains why you have seen so many opinions different from yours.

TheatreOfAttrition · 17/06/2026 16:51

It seems to ebb and flow over the years. We might be having a bit of a ‘peak’ because things are going very badly for the MRA-TRAs. I certainly know more of my London-based ‘gay and queer’ (as was) friends are withdrawing from the ‘T+’. And they don’t like the appropriation of their ‘Q-ness’ at all: I think the penny has dropped.

Additionally there seems to be a new model of PR in operation in cuckoo land generally, that eschews sensible crisis management and veers immaturely toward more of a ‘narcissistic desperation floundering’.

See also: David & Victoria Beckham; Mermaids-supporting Prince Harry, & Meghan; various ‘celeb’ politicians and former politicians, without or without daughters, dinosaurs and select committee places.

WhereYouLeftIt · 17/06/2026 16:48

Heggettypeg · 17/06/2026 16:31

That doesn't seem to be confined to this board, though. AIBU has a lot of posters like that.

Yes, I should have made clear that I meant the contraries were not just on this board. AIBU, Relationships, Chat - everywhere.

f they could spell and had better grammar I'd have thought we'd been stealth recruited as an AI training ground!Grin

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:47

Heggettypeg · 17/06/2026 16:44

I suspect that particular thing may be because it's known people do come here hoping to be able to screenshot things they can take back to Reddit or wherever as "proof" that "Mumsnet" is transphobic/ far right etc etc. And one way to try to get evidence that will play into such an agenda is to fish for it with questions, or polls.

So if you are polling in good faith, you need to be aware that people have already had reason to become suspicious. Not of you personally, but of why people are asking questions.

Right, that makes perfect sense. Thank you for explaining.

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Heggettypeg · 17/06/2026 16:44

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:32

In threads where I've started a poll, they often accuse me of trying to make sex realists look bad.

I suspect that particular thing may be because it's known people do come here hoping to be able to screenshot things they can take back to Reddit or wherever as "proof" that "Mumsnet" is transphobic/ far right etc etc. And one way to try to get evidence that will play into such an agenda is to fish for it with questions, or polls.

So if you are polling in good faith, you need to be aware that people have already had reason to become suspicious. Not of you personally, but of why people are asking questions.

orangegato · 17/06/2026 16:43

After uni exams probably. Unis have become factories for unhinged Green Party type ideas and have just churned out the latest batch. Very sad really.

GreyskySexRealistsky · 17/06/2026 16:37

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:32

In threads where I've started a poll, they often accuse me of trying to make sex realists look bad.

Oh, I think I know the one you mean - the hypothetical sci-fi angle wasn't well received!

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:34

DeanElderberry · 17/06/2026 16:30

A lot of them have the reasoning ability of a three year old, it makes me worry a bit about the education they've received.

This must be why some 'researchers' say that 'gender identity' is fixed from infancy.

If little Timmy never learns that mummy isn't defined by a skirt, then he'll go on to think he's a mummy for putting on a skirt.

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ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:32

GreyskySexRealistsky · 17/06/2026 16:28

Where?

I agree about the contrary posters - and a lot of bubbling anger about "feminists"

In threads where I've started a poll, they often accuse me of trying to make sex realists look bad.

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Heggettypeg · 17/06/2026 16:31

WhereYouLeftIt · 17/06/2026 16:25

I feel there's not only been an 'invasion' of TRAs, but also a hell of a lot of contrary posters who are determined to give all OPs a digital kicking.

That doesn't seem to be confined to this board, though. AIBU has a lot of posters like that.

DeanElderberry · 17/06/2026 16:30

A lot of them have the reasoning ability of a three year old, it makes me worry a bit about the education they've received.

GreyskySexRealistsky · 17/06/2026 16:28

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:25

A bunch of them have been calling me a TRA.

Where?

I agree about the contrary posters - and a lot of bubbling anger about "feminists"

ByTheRiverside · 17/06/2026 16:25

WhereYouLeftIt · 17/06/2026 16:25

I feel there's not only been an 'invasion' of TRAs, but also a hell of a lot of contrary posters who are determined to give all OPs a digital kicking.

A bunch of them have been calling me a TRA.

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RedToothBrush · 17/06/2026 16:25

Incels gonna incel.

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