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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How to respond he/she?

339 replies

Manchesteruser · 06/06/2026 00:00

Out with friends. One friend's son has a TIM friend. Obviously male but fake boobs and wearing a dress, about 25. Everyone refers to him 'as she'. I asked one, 'why do you refer to him as 'her/she' rather than 'he' and was told that that was what he prefers.

How would you have responded?

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PrettyDamnCosmic · 11/06/2026 08:40

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 11/06/2026 08:11

Not all trans people have gender dysphoria as their non alignment doesn't give them psychological distress or significant psychological distress that rises to the level of requiring medical help.

So if they don't have gender dysphoria and don't have any medical treatment doesn't this just make them crossdressers or gender non-conforming people?

Fuck only knows. You can get a GRC and NHS surgery following a diagnosis of "gender incongruence". Doesn't have to be "dysphoria".

I think "incongruence" means you don't have to experience much distress from the body you already have, you just believe that you would be happier as the other sex and that having boobs / removing boobs or attaching a non-functioning penis contructed from arm or leg tissue or removing your penis or having a neo-vagina constructed... would improve your life.

But maybe someone with a better grip on the diagnostic criteria can put me right?

You can get a GRC and NHS surgery following a diagnosis of "gender incongruence". Doesn't have to be "dysphoria".

This is incorrect. You need a diagnosis of gender dysphoria confirmed by a specialist before you can get a GRC. Mere gender incongruence is not enough as gender dysphoria is written into the legislation.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 11/06/2026 08:16

And while ROGD might not be a "proven" beyond all reasonable doubt theory (and how many psychological theories are that well proven?) and there may be better explanations for some individuals, social contagion is still a better evidenced theory for the rapid spread amongst teenage girls than the alternatives.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 11/06/2026 08:11

Not all trans people have gender dysphoria as their non alignment doesn't give them psychological distress or significant psychological distress that rises to the level of requiring medical help.

So if they don't have gender dysphoria and don't have any medical treatment doesn't this just make them crossdressers or gender non-conforming people?

Fuck only knows. You can get a GRC and NHS surgery following a diagnosis of "gender incongruence". Doesn't have to be "dysphoria".

I think "incongruence" means you don't have to experience much distress from the body you already have, you just believe that you would be happier as the other sex and that having boobs / removing boobs or attaching a non-functioning penis contructed from arm or leg tissue or removing your penis or having a neo-vagina constructed... would improve your life.

But maybe someone with a better grip on the diagnostic criteria can put me right?

OldCrone · 10/06/2026 15:48

Baileyonice · 10/06/2026 04:45

I didn't say anything about causes. I asked why people who are not sick are looking for a medical diagnosis and treatment if they are perfectly healthy.

Its just like gay people. There's nothing physically wrong with them but they can develop mental health problems as a result of not conforming to the norm or not being accepted.

And what do you mean by 'not always'? Are you saying that some people with gender dysphoria are not trans or are you saying that some people who identify as trans don't have gender dysphoria? Or both?

Not all trans people have gender dysphoria as their non alignment doesn't give them psychological distress or significant psychological distress that rises to the level of requiring medical help.

And I'm sure I've asked you this before (and you've declined to answer), but what do you think 'being trans' means? I'm asking here for your own personal opinion, so don't tell me to 'do my own research'.

A more closer psychological/behavioural/ cultural identification/association with the opposite sex they were born.

As are some cis people but that doesn't make all cis people AG.

What do you mean by this? Are you just saying that some men with autogynephilia don't identify as trans? And I didn't say all male trans people were autogynephiles.

I'm just saying AG doesn't make you trans. Research shows 80 to 90% of cis women engage in AG behaviour.

ROGD (social contagion) is an unproven theory.
So the sudden jump in kids identifying as trans in about 2014 was due to what? Something in the water? Climate change?

Like anything else increased social acceptance increases social visibility. The internet & Social media no doubt plays a role in increasing comfort levels in 'coming out'.

Its just like gay people. There's nothing physically wrong with them but they can develop mental health problems as a result of not conforming to the norm or not being accepted.

it's nothing like gay people.

Trans people seek a diagnosis of gender dysphoria so that they can access medication like puberty blockers and opposite sex hormones and/or surgery to make them resemble the opposite sex. Gay people don't do anything similar to this.

Not all trans people have gender dysphoria as their non alignment doesn't give them psychological distress or significant psychological distress that rises to the level of requiring medical help.

So if they don't have gender dysphoria and don't have any medical treatment doesn't this just make them crossdressers or gender non-conforming people?

A more closer psychological/behavioural/ cultural identification/association with the opposite sex they were born.

What does this mean? Why does it matter?

RedToothBrush · 10/06/2026 13:48

I guess we should be banning mirrors as they are transphobic.

RedToothBrush · 10/06/2026 13:47

CassOle · 10/06/2026 13:07

Using filters a lot has been shown to alter your self image, you essentially begin to fall for the lie.

I guess we understand it from the pov of thinking we are uglier than we are and why people feel the need for plastic surgery etc.

I hadn't considered it from the reverse.

CassOle · 10/06/2026 13:07

Using filters a lot has been shown to alter your self image, you essentially begin to fall for the lie.

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 13:00

ScarlettSunset · 10/06/2026 12:41

I don't really understand why so many trans identified males think they pass.

If I hear footsteps behind me when I'm walking down the street, I can usually tell whether they belong to a male or female without even having to look. I think a lot of women can do this.

Using my eyes makes it even easier!

Well delusion. But apart from that it has become clear to me that women are much better at recognising sex than men. I guess that stacks up from an evolution pov

RedToothBrush · 10/06/2026 12:55

To quote Dennis

"because we have eyes"

ScarlettSunset · 10/06/2026 12:41

I don't really understand why so many trans identified males think they pass.

If I hear footsteps behind me when I'm walking down the street, I can usually tell whether they belong to a male or female without even having to look. I think a lot of women can do this.

Using my eyes makes it even easier!

DialSquare · 10/06/2026 10:51

Baileyonice · 10/06/2026 09:47

They are changing their sex traits not sex. Big difference.

So if they are not changing their sex, they don’t need to use the pronouns relating to the opposite sex or to use the opposite single sex provision do they.

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:48

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:40

He enjoys the validation. Very odd.

This is all they think of women - we're just sex objects to them.

They whole thing is so gross, dehumanising to women and fetish fuelled - how anyone supports this as 'progress' I'll never understand.

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:40

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:39

Ugh the underlying humiliation fetish is just disgusting isn't it?

He enjoys the validation. Very odd.

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:39

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:37

Well yes, i don't agree he passes. And that's before he opens his mouth and opines on how much women enjoy catcalling.

Ugh the underlying humiliation fetish is just disgusting isn't it?

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:37

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:34

Well that would be a new one. But no. The length of the face, the jawline.

That's before I see him move or speak

Well yes, i don't agree he passes. And that's before he opens his mouth and opines on how much women enjoy catcalling.

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:34

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:33

I bet he says Paris Lees.

Well that would be a new one. But no. The length of the face, the jawline.

That's before I see him move or speak

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:33

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:32

But when you say 'modern day technology', it's actually very crude stuff you're talking about, like slapping a pair of fake boobs on a man's physique.

Its just glorified dress up. No it's fooling anyone.

As for my 'research' (I'm not describing it in those terms, it's simply observation). Come back to me when you've identified a 'transwoman' who you think passes and then we'll talk. I'll wait.

I bet he says Paris Lees.

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:32

Baileyonice · 10/06/2026 10:10

Um, those 'skills' weren't evolved with modern day technology in mind. Just because nature evolved to produce an adaption doesn't mean it can't be countered.

As far as your 'research' goes, I'm afraid its as rigorous as surveying skeptical parents on anti trans forums about the causes of their children's gender dysphoria AKA the debunked ROGD research.

But when you say 'modern day technology', it's actually very crude stuff you're talking about, like slapping a pair of fake boobs on a man's physique.

Its just glorified dress up. No it's fooling anyone.

As for my 'research' (I'm not describing it in those terms, it's simply observation). Come back to me when you've identified a 'transwoman' who you think passes and then we'll talk. I'll wait.

Waitingfordoggo · 10/06/2026 10:29

As for 80-90% of cis women engaging in autogynephile behaviour…. Hahahahahahaha!

Women don’t get turned on by the idea of themselves as women. They ARE women.

Waitingfordoggo · 10/06/2026 10:27

Baileyonice · 10/06/2026 04:22

The core difference is that cross-dressing relates to clothing choices, while transgender refers to a person's fundamental gender identity. Cross-dressers typically identify with their assigned birth gender and wear clothing associated with the opposite sex for personal enjoyment. Transgender individuals have an internal gender identity that differs from their assigned sex at birth.

So do you or don’t you find it strange/surprising that we never hear the terms ‘crossdresser’ or ‘transvestite’ these days? Why is it that these terms were in common usage until quite recently and now nobody describes themselves in those terms? Can you explain it?

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:11

Only a man would think you couldn't.

Baileyonice · 10/06/2026 10:10

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:02

Recognising sex is a very important human skill, particularly for women. It's vital for our survival. It's not surprising we've gotten very good at it.

As there is not a single 'transwomen' in the public eye that anyone can point to who genuinely passes, I don't think puberty blockers and drugs make a huge amount of difference to that, no.

Um, those 'skills' weren't evolved with modern day technology in mind. Just because nature evolved to produce an adaption doesn't mean it can't be countered.

As far as your 'research' goes, I'm afraid its as rigorous as surveying skeptical parents on anti trans forums about the causes of their children's gender dysphoria AKA the debunked ROGD research.

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:09

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:08

Quite, we can spot them too!

😆

murasaki · 10/06/2026 10:08

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:07

Women with fake boobs look like women with fake boobs

Just to clarify that point

Quite, we can spot them too!

TheKeatingFive · 10/06/2026 10:07

Women with fake boobs look like women with fake boobs

Just to clarify that point