How to respond he/she?

Try reading what older trans people have written on this subject, it may open your eyes.

Be careful what you wish for...

Here's one example (if MNHQ don't censor it).

some people are trans

Can you explain what you mean by this? Do you mean some people think they are the opposite sex? Or perhaps some people really, really want to be the opposite sex? Or do you believe that some people are literally 'born in the wrong body'?

Or do you mean something else entirely? It would help to know exactly what you believe 'being trans' actually is.

Being gay isn't an observable fact. Homophobes have always claimed it was a lifestyle choice.

I'm afraid being trans is real, and normal.

Claiming it's a belief is just ignorance. You aren't trans, and clearly don't have any close trans friends - perhaps educate yourself. Listen to other people.

No one would invent being trans. Living as trans is violent, difficult and intensely stressful - but essential, because of how it heals dysphoria. Try reading what older trans people have written on this subject, it may open your eyes.

We get really annoyed when people are unnecessarily rude to our trans friends

You mean using correct-sex pronouns? Some people don't like lying. Some people are really angry at the takeover of women's stuff by men who say they are women. Some people would rather avoid trans people due to being expected to lie, or because they are angry at the takeover - oh, but that's being transphobic, isn't it, we aren't allowed to leave a situation which has a negative effect on us, right?

Christ on a unicycle juggling baguettes, stop being misogynistic.

You don't speak for women, least of all me. Your patronising inability to understand that lots of us have absolutely no issue with trans people really isn't our problem.

As for an explanation, here you go: some people are trans, and lots of people are fine with that. We get really annoyed when people are unnecessarily rude to our trans friends, same as we do when they're being homophobic.

She doesn't prefer she, she is a she. It's a matter of fact, not convention. In much the same way as the man mentioned in the OP simply is a he.

I feel like wrong-sex pronouns are lies, and I hate to be expected to lie. I also find it ridiculous when those around me take part in these lies.

Those of you on this thread who think it is respectful or polite to call a male "she" because that's what he wants, how would you feel if I claimed to be the queen and expected everyone to address me as, "Your Majesty," instead of by my name? Or if I said I were a vicar when I wasn't, and wanted you to call me "Reverend"? Or if I said I were a doctor and wanted you to call me "Doctor"? Would you be ok with this, or would you be annoyed at being expected to go along with it? Would you consider it a lie?

And no, it is not always possible to avoid pronouns in front of a person, especially if other people are there too. Anyone who says they don't use someone's pronouns in front of them either hasn't noticed, or has weird conversations. You often use pronouns when talking about each other; repeating someone's name instead is clunky and obvious, and using "they" would be just as provocative as using the right-sex pronouns.

A word for "makes stuff up and claims you said it" would be incredibly useful on here.

Because I said abuse. Not domestic abuse. My comparison was with the abuse suffered by other, previously marginalised group.

And again, being rude to people doesn't make you heroic, a truth-teller, activist or public servant.

Keep up.

Can someone please explain to me why lying to someone (in the form of using wrong sex pronouns) is characterised as 'politeness'?

It really worries me that so many women are caving to what men want (regardless of the impact on women) because they have been told it's 'manners'.

Like Christ on a bike, the men have done such a number on you.

Well you are welcome to go and hang out with men in unisex spaces but I hope you understand that you have no right to consent on behalf of other women. Women's single sex spaces are not yours to give away.

Being trans, in the form that we are expected to accept, that is TWAW and TMAM, is a belief and has no basis at all in scientific fact.

Well, it’s not an observable biological/physical fact, like being female or having white or dark skin or being a certain age.
It is more akin to a belief than to anything else.

I wouldn’t have asked anyone why they call him she. It’s pretty obvious and it’s likely to get their backs up.
It’s easy enough to avoid awkwardness when someone is actually present as you wouldn’t say he or she anyway (unless you were deliberately cat’s-mothering them!)

It is though. Trans identifying males use women’s loos, take part in women’s sports, join menopause support groups, use the women’s pond at Hamstead Heath, they join lesbian groups, sign up to dating apps as “women” searching for women. They behave in a threatening and/or poor me way when women say nah mate this space isn’t for men. And that’s just a few of the ways it is my and other women’s business. Lots more examples.
It should always be my and every women’s right to assert our place and right as women to be women. It is my business.
I will not wheesht. I will not shut up about it.

If you are happy to enable men to share your spaces while they enjoying fetishizing womanhood crack on but I will not sit quietly as you do that.

Do you not think it is deeply offensive to liken a man being called he to donestic abuse? How are you not ashamed of yourself for even suggesting that a factual word is the same as abuse?

wtf is wrong with people?

Of course it is up to op how she refers to someone else. What is odd is someone wants other people to refer to them when they aren't even there. Massively controlling.

It really isn't your place, ever. None of your business.
Before you ask, I am happy to share space with transwomen, and to treat them with respect. Why they are trans, is none of my business.

Being trans isn't a belief, and characterising it as such is narrow-minded bigotry.

Failing to be polite to people isn't activism.

Surely you won't need to use a pronoun if he is with you. As people said just use his chosen name or use they. They has always been a perfectly acceptable way to talk about someone, " can't see Pricilla, they must have left"

Depends. If I knew of you as someone who called themselves All-Knowing, I'd find that quietly amusing.

But in company, because I'm not a rude, bigoted person wishing to be abusive to anyone, I'd call you Al.

p.s. Well done for missing my point. The people abusing my mum and the lesbian couple thought they were against nature, and pretending to be something they weren't.

To them, it was obvious that my mum was a terrible person who'd chosen an unrighteous path - and that gay people couldn't be in relationships.

Comparing being trans with arrogance, showing off and selfishness is bigotry, I'm afraid. Try educating yourself, meeting some trans people and stop pronouncing on stuff you don't understand.

Alot of places always had "unisex" toilets. Small cafes etc. that hasn't changed and does not need to be changed.
But more places don't have "unisex" toilets.
But then if people can't respect the dignity and safety of others then its hypocritical to demand it back

To be fair there's no indication that this person went to the ladies loo. A lot of places now have unisex toilets.

It depends on how close I was to them.

If I didn't know well, I'd avoid use of pronouns full stop.

If I knew I'd have a long chat about how much I loved and respected and didn't want to upset but I just couldn't do it for very lengthy reasons. Anyone who knows me well knows where I stand on this and why. And yes I have actually done this. It was fine.

I'd refuse to say she and just use the name. Tbh i wouldn't talk about him if he wasn't there, I'd talk to him if i were in a group conversation, but I'd be trying to extricate myself from the situation. I hope he was using the gents.

I don't think I ever use pronouns when the person is in the room, I don't understand the problem in this particular circumstance.