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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sex toys on display at child friendly day for Out There Queer Fest Exeter

70 replies

IwantToRetire · 01/06/2026 18:22

It was reported that one stall displayed anatomical models of male and female genitalia, a condom-fitting device, condoms, and a penis-girth measuring card. Children as young as three were said to be present.
Devon County Council did not directly receive any complaints about the event from parents at the time, but Cllr Hill insisted there had been a safeguarding oversight.

His motion called for an independent review and an assurance on safeguarding policies and added: “This motion seeks to ensure that children and vulnerable people are protected from inappropriate material, unsafe environments, and disorderly conduct at publicly funded events.”

Cllr Hill said his motion was about protecting children while the cabinet’s response – that the council already had robust safeguarding procedures in place – was about protecting the council.

Full article https://www.exmouthjournal.co.uk/news/26156426.council-clash-sex-toy-stall-row/

Sex toy row at family event sparks fiery Devon council clash

A furore over sex toys being laid out on a stall during a ‘family-friendly’ public event at Exeter Library has spilled over into the council…

https://www.exmouthjournal.co.uk/news/26156426.council-clash-sex-toy-stall-row/

OP posts:
Gotobedbyday · 15/06/2026 12:29

It said: "There were no items or promotions that would usually be associated with children that were then used in an inappropriate way to entice engagement or placed with adult only material."

so there WAS adult only material on display that children could come across.

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 15/06/2026 11:56

FinchiePink · 15/06/2026 11:19

That doesn't mean any were on display. That's just setting out the standard.

I think you need to read the whole thing:

Emails from council officers said according to safeguarding guidance "educational resources that explain sexual health, consent, anatomy, or relationships support statutory personal, social, health, and economic education goals".

However, they added: "Sexually explicit or pornographic materials, however, do not meet educational objectives and may conflict with safeguarding and appropriateness standards."

In its report, Libraries Unlimited said the material on the stall in question "was for educational purposes and there was no item or imagery of a pornographic or explicit nature".

It said: "There were no items or promotions that would usually be associated with children that were then used in an inappropriate way to entice engagement or placed with adult only material."

The Libraries Unlimited investigation found "no specific safeguarding incidents have been found to have occurred at the event".

So the BBC report led with this.

Lessons have been learned" in a long-running row over the appearance of sex education objects including anatomical models of genitalia at a "family-friendly" event held at a library, says a council leader.

Maybe Libraries Unlimited have a different view on what constitutes ‘explicit’.

It also said:

It said: "There were no items or promotions that would usually be associated with children that were then used in an inappropriate way to entice engagement or placed with adult only material."

Which isn’t saying that there were no items or materials inappropriate for children at a ‘family’ friendly event.

This whole article is written in a deliberately obfuscatory way. If these items were so suitable for children, why don’t they include pictures to demonstrate that?

FinchiePink · 15/06/2026 11:19

Fillies4DeclanRice · 15/06/2026 11:06

You're correct that the (Lib Dem run) investigation found that, but the council's own member of staff wrote about the event:

'Sexually explicit or pornographic materials do not meet educational objectives'

That doesn't mean any were on display. That's just setting out the standard.

I think you need to read the whole thing:

Emails from council officers said according to safeguarding guidance "educational resources that explain sexual health, consent, anatomy, or relationships support statutory personal, social, health, and economic education goals".

However, they added: "Sexually explicit or pornographic materials, however, do not meet educational objectives and may conflict with safeguarding and appropriateness standards."

In its report, Libraries Unlimited said the material on the stall in question "was for educational purposes and there was no item or imagery of a pornographic or explicit nature".

It said: "There were no items or promotions that would usually be associated with children that were then used in an inappropriate way to entice engagement or placed with adult only material."

The Libraries Unlimited investigation found "no specific safeguarding incidents have been found to have occurred at the event".

Fillies4DeclanRice · 15/06/2026 11:06

You're correct that the (Lib Dem run) investigation found that, but the council's own member of staff wrote about the event:

'Sexually explicit or pornographic materials do not meet educational objectives'

FinchiePink · 15/06/2026 10:55

Fillies4DeclanRice · 15/06/2026 10:42

The investigation found there was pornographic material and dildos on display for children to see.

This is the BBC headline today about the story:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c17ylqjl9qno

If you can't see it, it says:

'Lessons learned' over library's LGBT youth event

Edited

I think you need to read more carefully:

In its report, Libraries Unlimited said the material on the stall in question "was for educational purposes and there was no item or imagery of a pornographic or explicit nature".

(Libraries Unlimited is the organisation who carried out the investigation).

Fillies4DeclanRice · 15/06/2026 10:42

The investigation found there was pornographic material and dildos on display for children to see.

This is the BBC headline today about the story:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c17ylqjl9qno

If you can't see it, it says:

'Lessons learned' over library's LGBT youth event

The frontage of Exeter Library with a white sign on red brick.

'Lessons learned' over LGBT youth event at Exeter Library

Devon County Council says sex education objects do not constitute a safeguarding incident.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c17ylqjl9qno

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 03/06/2026 15:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

testmatchspecial · 03/06/2026 13:39

Teenagers will learn about condoms and using them etc at school, but with their peers in a school by trained people who presumably are DBS checked. It’s a bit different to some unknown adults in a library where there are other members of the public present.

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 03/06/2026 13:31

Gotobedbyday · 03/06/2026 11:15

Sexual activity, be it gay or straight, IS an adult topic.

Stop trying to normalise sex exposure to children.

Echobelly demonstrating the basics of queer theory. It’s all about blurring those lines until they don’t exist any more.

There is a very good reason why paedophiles and paedophile apologists are deeply involved in the queer theory school of thought.

Gotobedbyday · 03/06/2026 11:15

Echobelly · 03/06/2026 10:09

But none of the things described are 'sex toys'. One may disagree with the suitability of them at a family event, but calling them 'sex toys' decidedly smacks of that form of homophobia that insists that being gay is 'an adult topic'.

Sexual activity, be it gay or straight, IS an adult topic.

Stop trying to normalise sex exposure to children.

RhymesWithOrange · 03/06/2026 10:45

Images didn't attach but you can take a look for yourself. They are outtheretogetheruk on IG.

RhymesWithOrange · 03/06/2026 10:43

This event was organised by outthere.org.uk. Take a look at their website or social media. They freely mix their "family friendly", child/young people focussed content and events, and their events which are clearly aimed at adults (see attached images). This is inappropriate and someone need to have a word with them. If they are handing out branded material to children, those children could understandably assume their website and socials are child orientated. Instead they will see lots of drag queens, lots of gender identity ideology, lots of sexually suggestive stuff all wrapped up in rainbows, sparkles and with free stickers and lollipops.

If this was a sex ed charity aimed at heterosexual children I would have exactly the same concerns.

Echobelly · 03/06/2026 10:09

But none of the things described are 'sex toys'. One may disagree with the suitability of them at a family event, but calling them 'sex toys' decidedly smacks of that form of homophobia that insists that being gay is 'an adult topic'.

Twisterlollies · 03/06/2026 10:03

Gotobedbyday · 03/06/2026 09:01

That sounds very like John Swinney denying the SNP needed to look at its financial controls because Murrell’s embezzlement took place in the past.

😂 so true

RhymesWithOrange · 03/06/2026 10:03

BendoftheBeginning · 03/06/2026 08:54

Sorry OP, I’m with the people wondering why you’re drumming up outrage about last year’s news. It’s Pride month right now, are they running it again this year?

I’ve been working away at the safeguarding/women’s rights issues for some time now and am aware there have been issues. But I do not have the energy to be outraged about last year, I’m only interested in engaging with NOW.

I would argue the fact that women's voices were ignored and silenced last year is very important for safeguarding and feminism today and tomorrow.

Because the organisers and the Council who runs the library did get queries about the age-appropriateness of the event. They ignored and belittled them.

Gotobedbyday · 03/06/2026 09:01

BendoftheBeginning · 03/06/2026 08:54

Sorry OP, I’m with the people wondering why you’re drumming up outrage about last year’s news. It’s Pride month right now, are they running it again this year?

I’ve been working away at the safeguarding/women’s rights issues for some time now and am aware there have been issues. But I do not have the energy to be outraged about last year, I’m only interested in engaging with NOW.

That sounds very like John Swinney denying the SNP needed to look at its financial controls because Murrell’s embezzlement took place in the past.

BendoftheBeginning · 03/06/2026 08:54

Sorry OP, I’m with the people wondering why you’re drumming up outrage about last year’s news. It’s Pride month right now, are they running it again this year?

I’ve been working away at the safeguarding/women’s rights issues for some time now and am aware there have been issues. But I do not have the energy to be outraged about last year, I’m only interested in engaging with NOW.

Gotobedbyday · 03/06/2026 08:48

Older children, in my view, should be given appropriate and factual sex education. Knowledge of contraception is power, particularly for young women, which is why there are forces who wish to hide that knowledge from them and restrict their access to basic contraception.

So you are telling me the stall also provided information about the contraceptive pill, coils, implants, injections, caps? Evidence please because it sounds more like you are excusing the grooming of young children by normalising sex paraphernalia.

Gotobedbyday · 03/06/2026 08:42

I've done more reading on queer theory. There have definitely been some problematic characters associated with the academic discipline (specifically, supporting pedopholia) but it seems, like critical race theory, some quotes and ideas have been taken out of context/ misunderstood because it was written for an academic audience. I'm not excusing pedophilia or apologists for pedophilia.

”don’t look there”

GallantKumquat · 03/06/2026 08:12

@Mt563 I think over-all you make a a good point, however,

But, there is no need to tar all queer people or events with those negative ideas, or assume all lqbtq things are promoting them.

Queer is an identity class and academic theory, one that many gays and lesbians don't identify into or accept as valid. It is reasonable to broadly criticise a theory for the contents of that theory, though it would take a multi-volume set to layout a comprehensive refutation of such a vast, complex and opaque field as queer studies. So, necessarily criticisms are made with a broad brush and understanding that many of the readers here have read and argued these points before.

To put it more plainly, 'queer' as a synonym gay, lesbian and bisexual, should be strictly separated from its meaning as an identity, sensibility, outsider stance, theory, gender spectrum, and the panoply of other meanings bunched under its banner.

Mt563 · 03/06/2026 08:09

RhymesWithOrange · 03/06/2026 07:41

Oh, and there were complaints. I know that for a fact. The organisers refused to listen to them, accept them or record them.

So it was sex toys on display and not just condoms and anatomical stuff?

RhymesWithOrange · 03/06/2026 07:41

Oh, and there were complaints. I know that for a fact. The organisers refused to listen to them, accept them or record them.

RhymesWithOrange · 03/06/2026 07:40

Be as pedantic as you like, the vast majority of responsible parents do not want a pop up sex shop in their local library. Shielding children from adults’ sexuality - gay or straight - is an entirely normal thing to do. This was an ill-thought out event where the cloak of DEI was used to inhibit critical thinking.

Young people questioning their sexuality can and should be supported sensitively and appropriately. Children can be taught that different sexualities exist and are normal without sex toys being on display alongside their favourite picture books in the library.

Nice try shaming people with a “Mary Whitehouse” accusation (we need Mary Whitehouse more than ever now, she’d be better than our wet-lettuce politicians in challenging the tech companies who send harmful content to children’s phones) but it’s not “queerphobic” to separate children from adult sex related aspects of life.

Mt563 · 03/06/2026 06:29

IwantToRetire · 03/06/2026 03:42

Analyzing public festivals through a lens of gender performativity involves examining how spaces are constructed to either reinforce or challenge the "heteronormative matrix." In this framework, the public sphere is often regulated by norms that dictate which bodies and identities are considered legible or "natural."

A critical pedagogical approach might suggest that public displays of diverse identities serve to disrupt the compulsory dictates of the gender binary. By presenting information that detaches anatomy from traditional, procreative expectations, such spaces attempt to open up a multiplicity of ways to understand human existence and political resignification.

Furthermore, the regulation of knowledge in public spaces often relies on established disciplinary frameworks. Challenging these frameworks allows for an education that exists outside the constrictive binaries of the dominant culture, potentially fostering broader capacities for thinking about autonomy and non-normative identities.

Ultimately, from this philosophical perspective, creating critical spaces where the rigid boundaries of sex and gender are challenged is seen as a way to materialize a more inclusive social reality. This involves a constant process of "undoing" restrictive norms to allow for a radical opening of what it means to live and be recognized within a community.

A Judith Butlereque response.

Where is the quote from?

regardless, all that quote boils down to is that it's OK to be queer/non-conforming and for that to be visible. Are we arguing that children shouldn't be aware of gay people? That gay people are intrinsically transgressive and that children should be protected from them? That seems to prove the quotes point.

I've done more reading on queer theory. There have definitely been some problematic characters associated with the academic discipline (specifically, supporting pedopholia) but it seems, like critical race theory, some quotes and ideas have been taken out of context/ misunderstood because it was written for an academic audience. I'm not excusing pedophilia or apologists for pedophilia.

But, there is no need to tar all queer people or events with those negative ideas, or assume all lqbtq things are promoting them. There's no implication this stand was promoting/ based on queer theory. As far as I can tell from reading the article, this was about sex education. The lack of parental complaints supports that idea.

IwantToRetire · 03/06/2026 03:42

Mt563 · 02/06/2026 23:16

Could you please point me to an overview to queer theory? This is at odds with my current reading of it.

Analyzing public festivals through a lens of gender performativity involves examining how spaces are constructed to either reinforce or challenge the "heteronormative matrix." In this framework, the public sphere is often regulated by norms that dictate which bodies and identities are considered legible or "natural."

A critical pedagogical approach might suggest that public displays of diverse identities serve to disrupt the compulsory dictates of the gender binary. By presenting information that detaches anatomy from traditional, procreative expectations, such spaces attempt to open up a multiplicity of ways to understand human existence and political resignification.

Furthermore, the regulation of knowledge in public spaces often relies on established disciplinary frameworks. Challenging these frameworks allows for an education that exists outside the constrictive binaries of the dominant culture, potentially fostering broader capacities for thinking about autonomy and non-normative identities.

Ultimately, from this philosophical perspective, creating critical spaces where the rigid boundaries of sex and gender are challenged is seen as a way to materialize a more inclusive social reality. This involves a constant process of "undoing" restrictive norms to allow for a radical opening of what it means to live and be recognized within a community.

A Judith Butlereque response.

OP posts:
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