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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sex toys on display at child friendly day for Out There Queer Fest Exeter

70 replies

IwantToRetire · 01/06/2026 18:22

It was reported that one stall displayed anatomical models of male and female genitalia, a condom-fitting device, condoms, and a penis-girth measuring card. Children as young as three were said to be present.
Devon County Council did not directly receive any complaints about the event from parents at the time, but Cllr Hill insisted there had been a safeguarding oversight.

His motion called for an independent review and an assurance on safeguarding policies and added: “This motion seeks to ensure that children and vulnerable people are protected from inappropriate material, unsafe environments, and disorderly conduct at publicly funded events.”

Cllr Hill said his motion was about protecting children while the cabinet’s response – that the council already had robust safeguarding procedures in place – was about protecting the council.

Full article https://www.exmouthjournal.co.uk/news/26156426.council-clash-sex-toy-stall-row/

Sex toy row at family event sparks fiery Devon council clash

A furore over sex toys being laid out on a stall during a ‘family-friendly’ public event at Exeter Library has spilled over into the council…

https://www.exmouthjournal.co.uk/news/26156426.council-clash-sex-toy-stall-row/

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CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 16/09/2026 19:20

The manager told us he was “excited” about the event, and was unable to recognise any problems in teaching children about sexuality. He also told us that there had been many complaints received and that he felt those emails were offensive.

I share the sentiments of your name @SlackJawedDisbeliefXY

I find myself saying “what is wrong with these people?” repeatedly at the moment. And there seems little prospect of change.

AstonCanKissMyArse · 15/09/2026 18:22

Shortshriftandlethal · 15/09/2026 14:37

The whole 'Sex positivity' and 'queering' culture has enabled and encouraged all of the perverts to come out of the closet - and to be lauded for it too. People are ashamed to be seen as prudish or uptight and so give the green light to all sorts of inappropriate people and practices.

The paedophiles have not gone away.... they are simply using another vehicle and another approach; and the internet has led many more men ( incliuding lots of young men) down the path of paedophilia and sexual predation, dressed up as fetish, kink, or 'Queer'.

I find it incredible that people really can't see this, and seem to think that seeing a problem here equates to being against sex education per se.

Its like Helen Joyce said "some things....are not like some other things!" She was talking about sex differences but I think it applies very well to all the straw men that get constantly wheeled out.

Random non DBS checked adults in a library that sounds like its managed by at least one activist, are not the same as qualified, trained DBS checked teachers delivering the national curriculum in a school fgs I can't believe this even needs saying.

Shortshriftandlethal · 15/09/2026 14:37

AstonCanKissMyArse · 15/09/2026 10:27

I don't understand the number of people willing to defend random, not DBS checked adults potentially interacting with children about matters of sex. In a library!!

Ctiticising this is really not the same as kids getting a glimpse of a cheeky rude nick nack in a shop, and its not the same as saying kids shouldn't have properly delivered, age sppropriate sex ed in school.

Surely we should be teaching kids not to talk to strangers about sex? Safeguarding is about looking for what potential ptoblems could occur and taking that as your starting point, not handwaving them away and saying 'nah, it'll probably be fine'.

This does seem to be all about breaking down boundaries.

The whole 'Sex positivity' and 'queering' culture has enabled and encouraged all of the perverts to come out of the closet - and to be lauded for it too. People are ashamed to be seen as prudish or uptight and so give the green light to all sorts of inappropriate people and practices.

The paedophiles have not gone away.... they are simply using another vehicle and another approach; and the internet has led many more men ( incliuding lots of young men) down the path of paedophilia and sexual predation, dressed up as fetish, kink, or 'Queer'.

Sufferine · 15/09/2026 13:43

Absolutely. For example, children who have tragically been victims of abuse could find this retraumatising. When done in an appropriate environment, appropriate adults are on hand to help deal with any such issues and provide support. The risk review disclosed in an foi (and only completed after complaints) showed this wasn't even a consideration for libraries unlimited.

Sufferine · 15/09/2026 11:10

AstonCanKissMyArse · 15/09/2026 10:37

Ikr?

Gay men have fought for years to get away from the awful stereotype of paedophilia, then there's people doing things like this.

It would piss me right off if i was a gay bloke.

But perhaps therein less the difference between gay and queer.

Exactly this. They rejected PIE decades ago, and many now reject Q+ for the same good reasons. It's just terrifying how many people think it's just about being kind and inclusive.

FrippEnos · 15/09/2026 10:57

AstonCanKissMyArse · 15/09/2026 10:37

Ikr?

Gay men have fought for years to get away from the awful stereotype of paedophilia, then there's people doing things like this.

It would piss me right off if i was a gay bloke.

But perhaps therein less the difference between gay and queer.

A lot of gay people still consider queer a slur.

Its is one of the reasons why groups like LGB without the T exist.

As a friend of mine says, 'Gay is a sexuality, Queer is a way for the woke crowd to look cool'

SlackJawedDisbeliefXY · 15/09/2026 10:57

From the linked article

The manager told us he was “excited” about the event, and was unable to recognise any problems in teaching children about sexuality. He also told us that there had been many complaints received and that he felt those emails were offensive.

So complaints were received but ignored because they were deemed 'offensive'. This does not bode well for the veracity of the library's internal investigation.

He described us and the concerned adults who had emailed as “people like you”, lumping us all into a bigoted category of people whose opinions and concerns should be ignored in the interests of “inclusion and diversity”.

He told us that while some of the adults hosting the event might have a DBS check, it was not something requested by the library before allowing access to children.

We suggested that the library should restrict access to the event to adults only, and were offered assurances that only children accompanied by a parent or guardian would be admitted to the event.

The event was advertised as a family event, for all ages, and included K-pop branding to appeal to young children. It was situated for maximum visibility in the foyer of the library meaning all patrons had to walk past it.

The images in the article show that at least one stall displayed what looks like a purple butt-plug - so it does not appear to simply be prosthetic anatomy as a PP suggested - Prosthetic anatomy..... pretty sure if I was a gay man I would want to try prepare myself for anal, its nowhere near like a vagina.

I'm not sure what sort of background checks and training that an adult preparing e.g. a 13 year old (part of the target demographic for this event) for anal would need but I am guessing that they would be pretty extensive. Perhaps any sort of background check is unnecessary as random adults who say they want to help children explore their sexuality are clearly beyond reproach.

Surrey Pride co-founder Stephen Ireland guilty of raping boy, 12 - BBC News

The whole thing is just one massive red light to me but maybe I'm just a bit old school.

Guildford Crown Court building, a red brick building with a triangular entrance

Surrey Pride co-founder Stephen Ireland guilty of raping boy, 12

Stephen Ireland, 41, and David Sutton, 27, have been convicted of a series of child sex offences.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx28yj34zgpo

AstonCanKissMyArse · 15/09/2026 10:37

MrsOvertonsWindow · 15/09/2026 10:33

The interesting question is why does any queer "child friendly" display require sex toys & anatomical models of body parts? It's almost as if children are being advised that this is what "queer folk" are interested in?

That people can't see this is a massive problem in terms of safeguarding children

Ikr?

Gay men have fought for years to get away from the awful stereotype of paedophilia, then there's people doing things like this.

It would piss me right off if i was a gay bloke.

But perhaps therein less the difference between gay and queer.

AstonCanKissMyArse · 15/09/2026 10:35

Also, saying something 'is a safeguarding issue' doesn't mean it it's disastrous/ terrible/ should be banned.

It means it has the potential to cause issues re child safety in its current format.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 15/09/2026 10:33

Sufferine · 15/09/2026 09:46

Lots of us raised it at the time, and were ignored. There are more details, including images, in this article.
https://www.ukcolumn.org/article/queer-fest-at-exeter-library-devon-county-councils-child-safety-test
The claim from dcc is that it wasn't a safeguarding issue, because libraries unlimited said so. However, for sex ed to be safe it must be done at an appropriate age, in a controlled environment and by an appropriate adult. A table with explicit items and a poster about chemsex, in the entrance foyer to the library, at a queer event targetting 'children of all ages' is not that, it's grooming.
They also claim lessons were learned, but another event was planned (and cancelled following complaints) targetting 4-11year olds, in the children’s section, as part of pride. No lessons were learned.

Predatory men will always use any special identity that allows access to children, be that a tv presenter, scout leader, church figure, teacher or now, lgbtq+. The refusal to acknowledge this safeguarding failure is because of identity politics and is a huge 'predators welcome here' invitation.

The interesting question is why does any queer "child friendly" display require sex toys & anatomical models of body parts? It's almost as if children are being advised that this is what "queer folk" are interested in?

That people can't see this is a massive problem in terms of safeguarding children

BridgetYourFortyDaysAreUp · 15/09/2026 10:31

AstonCanKissMyArse · 15/09/2026 10:27

I don't understand the number of people willing to defend random, not DBS checked adults potentially interacting with children about matters of sex. In a library!!

Ctiticising this is really not the same as kids getting a glimpse of a cheeky rude nick nack in a shop, and its not the same as saying kids shouldn't have properly delivered, age sppropriate sex ed in school.

Surely we should be teaching kids not to talk to strangers about sex? Safeguarding is about looking for what potential ptoblems could occur and taking that as your starting point, not handwaving them away and saying 'nah, it'll probably be fine'.

This does seem to be all about breaking down boundaries.

This does seem to be all about breaking down boundaries.

And now with the NSPCC at the helm!

AstonCanKissMyArse · 15/09/2026 10:27

I don't understand the number of people willing to defend random, not DBS checked adults potentially interacting with children about matters of sex. In a library!!

Ctiticising this is really not the same as kids getting a glimpse of a cheeky rude nick nack in a shop, and its not the same as saying kids shouldn't have properly delivered, age sppropriate sex ed in school.

Surely we should be teaching kids not to talk to strangers about sex? Safeguarding is about looking for what potential ptoblems could occur and taking that as your starting point, not handwaving them away and saying 'nah, it'll probably be fine'.

This does seem to be all about breaking down boundaries.

Sufferine · 15/09/2026 09:46

Lots of us raised it at the time, and were ignored. There are more details, including images, in this article.
https://www.ukcolumn.org/article/queer-fest-at-exeter-library-devon-county-councils-child-safety-test
The claim from dcc is that it wasn't a safeguarding issue, because libraries unlimited said so. However, for sex ed to be safe it must be done at an appropriate age, in a controlled environment and by an appropriate adult. A table with explicit items and a poster about chemsex, in the entrance foyer to the library, at a queer event targetting 'children of all ages' is not that, it's grooming.
They also claim lessons were learned, but another event was planned (and cancelled following complaints) targetting 4-11year olds, in the children’s section, as part of pride. No lessons were learned.

Predatory men will always use any special identity that allows access to children, be that a tv presenter, scout leader, church figure, teacher or now, lgbtq+. The refusal to acknowledge this safeguarding failure is because of identity politics and is a huge 'predators welcome here' invitation.

Queer Fest at Exeter Library: Devon County Council's Child Safety Test

Exeter Library’s Out There Queer Fest contained sexual health displays, penis models, and condom demos in the foyer next to the children’s section. A sweet trolley lured children for contact details via QR code. It was publicly funded and 'family-frien...

https://www.ukcolumn.org/article/queer-fest-at-exeter-library-devon-county-councils-child-safety-test

CllrEdHill · 15/09/2026 08:32

I did Raise it at the time, but the issues were not properly addressed in my opinion, so in Devon we will continue to expose children to these things.

Is it OK? Do you think its fine?

Gotobedbyday · 17/06/2026 23:56

lcakethereforeIam · 16/06/2026 11:40

Why is it always LGBTQ+ children that these displays are aimed at. It's arguable, imo, that a prepubescent child who has been labelled as LGBTQ+ has already been sexualised. Even so how are they different from any other child of that age that means they can be exposed to things that would normally be considered totally inappropriate?

Q is all about the break down of societal norms - including the norms that protect children from sex.

Children also offer legitimacy to T

lcakethereforeIam · 16/06/2026 11:40

Why is it always LGBTQ+ children that these displays are aimed at. It's arguable, imo, that a prepubescent child who has been labelled as LGBTQ+ has already been sexualised. Even so how are they different from any other child of that age that means they can be exposed to things that would normally be considered totally inappropriate?

Gotobedbyday · 15/06/2026 15:22

FinchiePink · 15/06/2026 12:57

How exactly have you come to that conclusion? That paragraph says nothing of the sort.

It says quite clearly there was adult only material on display. It just says they didn’t put cuddly toys or sweets next to them.

spannasaurus · 15/06/2026 13:54

Perhaps what happened on that particular occasion wasn't as we would have hoped, and lessons have been learned.

So what was it. They say nothing wrong with the event so what was not as they hoped and what happended that meant lessons have been learned

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 15/06/2026 13:20

FinchiePink · 15/06/2026 12:57

How exactly have you come to that conclusion? That paragraph says nothing of the sort.

If you read it again, it very carefully doesn’t say there were not inappropriate sexual education objects displayed.

When you read the whole article it is quite clear that there were. It sounds very much like full size model penises or vaginas.

Sex education for children is important but it is essential that it is age appropriate and that us not compatible with a public display of penises.

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 15/06/2026 13:15

FinchiePink · 15/06/2026 12:58

I've read it carefully. I don't think others have. Or they have, but reading comprehension is poor and they assume because something (adult-only material) is mentioned (in the context of standard that should be upheld) that it must mean it was physically present (when the report is clear that there was nothing of an explicit or pornographic nature on display).

Edited

Lessons have been learned" in a long-running row over the appearance of sex education objects including anatomical models of genitalia at a "family-friendly" event held at a library, says a council leader.

I don’t mean to be rude but do you understand what they mean by ‘the appearance of sex education objects at a family friendly event’?

It means they were there. They had appeared and were apparent.

when the report is clear that there was nothing of an explicit or pornographic nature on display).

Given the deliberate obfuscation in the article I don’t think we can be confident that what LU means by ‘explicit’ is the meaning that most would take. It sounds like they don’t include anatomical ‘sex education’ objects as ‘explicit’

FinchiePink · 15/06/2026 12:58

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 15/06/2026 12:47

Yup. And the article was written so confusingly that although Finchie read it very carefully, he or she was still misled.

All they needed to do was post a picture of the items or stall being complained about. The BBC are literally paid to report the news clearly. Sadly I think they are intentionally complicit in the erosion of boundaries in this way.

And there are so many ready to defend it. Or pretend it’s not happening.

I've read it carefully. I don't think others have. Or they have, but reading comprehension is poor and they assume because something (adult-only material) is mentioned (in the context of standard that should be upheld) that it must mean it was physically present (when the report is clear that there was nothing of an explicit or pornographic nature on display).

FinchiePink · 15/06/2026 12:57

Gotobedbyday · 15/06/2026 12:29

It said: "There were no items or promotions that would usually be associated with children that were then used in an inappropriate way to entice engagement or placed with adult only material."

so there WAS adult only material on display that children could come across.

How exactly have you come to that conclusion? That paragraph says nothing of the sort.

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 15/06/2026 12:47

Gotobedbyday · 15/06/2026 12:29

It said: "There were no items or promotions that would usually be associated with children that were then used in an inappropriate way to entice engagement or placed with adult only material."

so there WAS adult only material on display that children could come across.

Yup. And the article was written so confusingly that although Finchie read it very carefully, he or she was still misled.

All they needed to do was post a picture of the items or stall being complained about. The BBC are literally paid to report the news clearly. Sadly I think they are intentionally complicit in the erosion of boundaries in this way.

And there are so many ready to defend it. Or pretend it’s not happening.

Gotobedbyday · 15/06/2026 12:32

And calling something educational does not make something suitable for children.

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