How do you handle gender identity disagreements within a long-standing social group?

Completely at odds with what you have said on other threads about your cousin’s child

The fact that you think that saying to your cousin at the time that there are long term medical side effects let alone to someone at a social gathering would have made them change their unwavering support for their child is… farcical arrogance

Well in all fairness she was already taking it before I knew any specifics. But I had no reason to doubt what I was told then either. I now know more about it.

But we aren’t discussing that

you were talking about long term medical side effects

I said that they were told she was a suicide risk, which obviously impacted their judgement.

That information was false however.

So what was stopping you going a 30 second google given you seem to think that if you’d said something at the time - it would have meant the parents didn’t support it so unequivocally?

Well unfortunately in my cousins child's case this was not conveyed fully. But I didn't know anything about it at the time either.

Exactly!!! But that poster was saying they were completely ignorant about it.

Answering the question in the OP before reading the thread:
Really good friends? we avoid the topic (i am at odds with my bestie about this, but literally nothing else, so we don't discuss it.)
Good friends & other friends: if it comes up i don't say anything unless asked directly. Then i say that people should be free to dress how they like but that i don't believe anyone can change sex.
Groups of acquaintances and other: i don't say anything at all. I don't nod in agreement and if asked say the same as above.

Because that is my attitude to all this: people can't change sex. People can dress how they like and call themselves what they like. I will use the name anyone asks me to call them (unless obscene) but i don't use pretend pronouns.

The child's doctor will have talked to both the child and their parents about risks and side effects. They do not need to hear this information again from a non-expert.

No I didn't

You didn’t know about the long term medical effects?

I didn't know anything about it at the time.

I really don't know why you're so very invested in whether I would share this story with other people or not. I'll follow my own judgement, not anyone else's.

So when your cousin’s child went on testosterone… you didn’t talk to them about the very well know long term side effects?

No. How could I share a story that hadn't happened yet?

So did you? With your cousin?

It's like arguing about religion. Rarely are people genuinely open to learning new things.

I think the ones with GI views should be the ones worried about losing friendships . Why are GC people so worried about it. I have friends who've left the WI because of the exclusion of trans women , they know my views , I'm still a member we're still friends. Other friends are all GC . And some I don't know their views.

I'm not sure you're right about that, I think it might. So I think it's worth a try.

So if a parent hasn’t done a 30 second google about the long term side effects of their child taking a medication - they aren’t going to sit and listen to you telling a story about someone you know

And unfortunately people may not do it, or do it and dismiss it. The reality of detransitioning is something that people don't take on board either. We need to be able to talk about the impacts of all of this, even the problematic ones. By not doing so, we are shoring up more problems for the future.

This mother has first hand experience of her child's struggles and what this entails, you haven't. It's not your place to give your opinion on their situation when you know nothing about what they've been through as a family.

Hogwash. You aren't raped by a dress.

Due diligence? It’s a 30 second google

Her own parents were given the whole 'better a son than a dead daughter' line - this was pre Cass. Whatever concerns they had were buried with that hanging over their heads. Just as an example.

I'm not sure everyone does do due diligence unfortunately and lots of people haven't heard any detransitioner's stories.

If a parent of a child taking testosterone hasn’t done a 1 minute google re long term medical side effects… then you telling your story is unlikely to permeate their tiny brains