Any recommended genderist writers?

It makes things simpler. We had AidaP who wanted to fuck the women he didn’t like with a splintery rolling pin. Now we have Emily who thinks lesbians are unreasonable if they refuse to have sex with men.

A male cannot ge a lesbian. A lesbian is a female homosexual. The fact you are defending men pressurising lesbians for sex is frankly so “manosphere”.

Because some trans women consider themselves as lesbians so it makes sense for them to seek a lesbian partner.

It does seem odd that these men are not pressurising heterosexual women and men in the same way. It’s almost like they need lesbians to sleep with them for validation. There are plenty of bi and pansexual people out there who would I’m sure, be open to dating them. Why go after lesbians specifically?

But they're obviously playing the same game - they're in full agreement about getting the ball in the net, as it were.

Okay, maybe they're not playing exactly the same game - there may disagreement with Andrew Tate about the offside rule, or what constitutes a handball. The sort of thing that can cause very heated disagreements.

But irrelevant disagreements from the point of view of the designated net, who didn't volunteer for repeated balls in the face.

Sorry, getting carried away with the analogy a bit. The word "fan" started me off...

This is just false. Experiencing emotional, physical, or sexual abuse from men can cause some women to avoid heterosexual relationships. In some cases, choosing to date women can be about safety, healing, and seeking comfort, rather than an innate biological attraction exclusively to women.

I’m wondering if Emily is an Andrew Tate fan. I’m getting the same vibes. AT also believes women owe men sex and women’s rights, needs and wants are secondary to those of men.

Emily’s repeatedly ignoring the point that while men who assumed they were straight might very well not have considered whether they were also attracted to men, lesbians have already thought hard about their sexuality, realised their preferences and made the active decision to come out. Even more so back then.

Plenty have already exoerienced sex with men & pretty much all of us - & again even more back then - have had to fend off lines like “Bet I could turn you” or “I’m a lesbian too.”

Serano would just have been more of the same.

Emily’s repeatedly ignoring the point that while men who assumed they were straight might very well not have considered whether they were also attracted to men, lesbians have already thought hard about their sexuality, realised their preferences and made the active decision to come out. Even more so back then.

Plenty have already exoerienced sex with men & pretty much all of us - & again even more back then - have had to fend off lines like “Bet I could turn you” or “I’m a lesbian too.”

Serano would just have been more of the same.

While I hear you, the point is a strong belief isn't necessarily unchangeable. I'm sure there are countless incidences of life long straight women/men who never thought they could have an attraction to the same sex change their minds & be pleasantly surprised with the out come. Being open to possibilities allows opportunities one would have never imagined working out. And I think Serrano's point is she is disappointed with the lack of openness to the unkown particularly given the lesbian mindset of willingness to challenge conformity.

She was making the point that people who should know better via their experience of being excluded should be more open to having their beliefs challenged.

But lesbians aren't attracted to men. They don't need to have their beliefs on that challenged. I don't see gay men suggesting straight men should have their beliefs challenged and try dating men. Or lesbians and straight women. It's only TW trying to insist others, who aren't attracted to them, should date them anyway.

"and just as I had to overcome my own fatphobia the first time I dated a differently-sized woman."

Expanding the quote doesn't makes it less incel like in nature.

There is no responsibility to have a sexual or romantic relationship with anyone and Serano isn't doing anyone any favours by valiantly sleeping with them despite his disgust.

Context matters.

"When I asked the cis men who responded to my ad if they had ever dated a trans woman before, they didn’t disappear like the cis dykes usually did. Instead, most of them gave thoughtful answers. Some said that they found trans women more interesting, open-minded, and/or courageous than the average cis woman. Others said they had honestly not considered dating a trans woman before, but they really liked my profile, and they considered themselves to be queer-positive, so they didn’t consider my transness to be a big deal. Still others put it quite simply: They are attracted to women, and while most of their past partners were cis women, a few were trans women, and it really makes no difference to them.

When cis men tell me these things, it honestly makes me a little sad. I mourn the fact that I have not heard similar sentiments from my own cis queer women’s community. I also find it ironic that cis dykes—many of whom pride themselves on their progressive politics and subversive sexualities—tend to be far more conservative and conforming to our culture’s yuck-dating-a-trans-woman-is-gross mindset than their cis male counterparts, at least here in the San Francisco Bay Area. I am also embarrassed as a queer for the fact that so many straight cis men have worked through, or are beginning to work through, their own issues regarding trans women, whereas most cis queer women refuse to even consider the possibility that they even have an issue.

I know first-hand that it can be difficult to confront such issues. I remember a time many years ago—I was either just about to transition, or I had just transitioned, I can’t quite recall—when I saw a short documentary about two trans women who were life partners. And I am horribly embarrassed to say that, at the time, I was somewhat squicked by their relationship.* *The irrationality of my reaction was not lost on me. After all, I am a trans woman. And I am also attracted to women. So what was it about the idea of being with a trans woman that bothered me so? Over time, I realized that on an unconscious level, I was still buying into the idea that trans women were somehow unattractive, defective, and illegitimate, and that being partnered to a cis woman was somehow inherently better, or more authentic. After much personal reflection, I had to admit that my reaction was profoundly anti-trans. And I eventually got over my internalized transphobia, just as I had to get over my internalized homophobia the first time I sexually experimented with a man, and just as I had to overcome my own fatphobia the first time I dated a differently-sized woman."

Context matters.

"When I asked the cis men who responded to my ad if they had ever dated a trans woman before, they didn’t disappear like the cis dykes usually did. Instead, most of them gave thoughtful answers. Some said that they found trans women more interesting, open-minded, and/or courageous than the average cis woman. Others said they had honestly not considered dating a trans woman before, but they really liked my profile, and they considered themselves to be queer-positive, so they didn’t consider my transness to be a big deal. Still others put it quite simply: They are attracted to women, and while most of their past partners were cis women, a few were trans women, and it really makes no difference to them.

When cis men tell me these things, it honestly makes me a little sad. I mourn the fact that I have not heard similar sentiments from my own cis queer women’s community. I also find it ironic that cis dykes—many of whom pride themselves on their progressive politics and subversive sexualities—tend to be far more conservative and conforming to our culture’s yuck-dating-a-trans-woman-is-gross mindset than their cis male counterparts, at least here in the San Francisco Bay Area. I am also embarrassed as a queer for the fact that so many straight cis men have worked through, or are beginning to work through, their own issues regarding trans women, whereas most cis queer women refuse to even consider the possibility that they even have an issue.

I know first-hand that it can be difficult to confront such issues. I remember a time many years ago—I was either just about to transition, or I had just transitioned, I can’t quite recall—when I saw a short documentary about two trans women who were life partners. And I am horribly embarrassed to say that, at the time, I was somewhat squicked by their relationship.* *The irrationality of my reaction was not lost on me. After all, I am a trans woman. And I am also attracted to women. So what was it about the idea of being with a trans woman that bothered me so? Over time, I realized that on an unconscious level, I was still buying into the idea that trans women were somehow unattractive, defective, and illegitimate, and that being partnered to a cis woman was somehow inherently better, or more authentic. After much personal reflection, I had to admit that my reaction was profoundly anti-trans. And I eventually got over my internalized transphobia, just as I had to get over my internalized homophobia the first time I sexually experimented with a man, and just as I had to overcome my own fatphobia the first time I dated a differently-sized woman."

You can imagine the conversations though: "I can't believe you won't let me do xxx when I am in a relationship with you even though you are differently sized".

"Differenty sized" is a really weird phrase. I'd get the instant ick if anyone used it about me!