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Original poster

Gender Critical guy - How can I help the cause?

245 replies

MyShyCat · 16/05/2026 22:41

Hoping that the amazing women of Mumsnet can help me. I am firmly in the Gender Critical camp. I peaked many years ago after the birth of my daughter. I simply got to the point where I couldn't ignore the craziness that we were all being expected to accept. Amazing women on Youtube like Magdalen Berns, Posie Parker, Helen Joyce, Jo Bartosch, Arielle Scarcella and Kathleen Stock were able to perfectly articulate all the thoughts that were flying around my head.

Like many of us I have watched with horror as bit by bit the rights of women and girls have been systematically dismantled. There have undoubtedly been successes on our journey back to reality but Sall Grover's defeat the other day has really made me wobble.

My problem is I not sure what to do to help the cause. I feel like I should be more vocal or active - not exactly Bill Board Chris levels of "being out there" but I think I need to actually be a bit braver and make my voice heard.

If anyone has any suggestions as to how a 53 year-old father of a teenage girl can take a more active role in this fight, then I would love to hear more.

I'm not sure I can just carry on watching youtube clips and tutting anymore! All suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I WOULD RATHER BE RUDE THAN A "F**KING LIAR."

OP posts:
TheBeaTgoeson1 · 21/05/2026 09:58

Interesting @TaztoyI think we know what we have here 🤣

Original poster
MyShyCat · 21/05/2026 09:52

ArabellaScott · 21/05/2026 09:23

Lots of informative and useful threads on here.

The issues
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

Stats
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5445880-statistics-poll-evidence-archive-thread

History
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4059873-Deep-Dive-on-the-Dentons-document

Court cases
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4910748-court-casesjudicial-reviewsetetas

Arabella... That's an INSANE amount of work you have done. Thank-you so much.

OP posts:
RhannionKPSS · 21/05/2026 09:37

Ignore the ones who want to derail your questions

Original poster
MyShyCat · 21/05/2026 09:36

ArabellaScott · 21/05/2026 09:24

I expect it started off somewhere else and got moved.

Show quote history

100% Correct. I started it in "Chat" as I wasn't sure Feminism was the right place for a guy.

The original thread only had a handful of replies so I took a chance and asked admin if I could close the thread and maybe start a new one on this board.

All of a sudden the thread got moved to this Board and here we are helping me understand my hatred of my mother and my need to be seen as Jesus.

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 21/05/2026 09:24

Taztoy · 21/05/2026 09:04

Blame who for what? This thread is already in Feminism Sex and Gender?

Show quote history

I expect it started off somewhere else and got moved.

Original poster
MyShyCat · 21/05/2026 09:16

ArabellaScott · 21/05/2026 09:06

Not RTFT, but:

Is there space for a group of men with 'gender critical' views?

As a man you will receive less pushback than women. There are risks to speaking up, but they are not the same as they are for women.

Amplify women's voices.
Speak up yourself.
Ask questions.

Welcome, OP, and thanks.

Thanks for the Welcome Arabella.

Asking questions... That's why I'm here. It's good to hear what people have to say.

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 21/05/2026 09:06

Not RTFT, but:

Is there space for a group of men with 'gender critical' views?

As a man you will receive less pushback than women. There are risks to speaking up, but they are not the same as they are for women.

Amplify women's voices.
Speak up yourself.
Ask questions.

Welcome, OP, and thanks.

RhannionKPSS · 21/05/2026 09:06

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 21/05/2026 07:38

What other feminist causes are you supportive, and actively doing / pursuing @MyShyCat?

Does it matter?

Taztoy · 21/05/2026 09:05

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 21/05/2026 09:04

I’m guessing your ignoring my question @MyShyCat

Tells me all I need to know.

Those questions get you insulted, if you’re me.

At least he hasn’t insulted you, which is progress, of a sort.

Taztoy · 21/05/2026 09:04

MyShyCat · 21/05/2026 08:50

I blame you for this!

Show quote history

Blame who for what? This thread is already in Feminism Sex and Gender?

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 21/05/2026 09:04

I’m guessing your ignoring my question @MyShyCat

Tells me all I need to know.

Shedmistress · 21/05/2026 08:57

Taztoy · 21/05/2026 07:52

Absolutely they should.

but they should do the work themselves.

Men taking women’s work for free is a tale as old as time.

Show quote history

Yes I already said that in my initial response.

Original poster
MyShyCat · 21/05/2026 08:50

Ghostmartin · 17/05/2026 00:08

Check out mumsnet's Feminism - Sex and gender board

Plenty to read on there!

I blame you for this!

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 21/05/2026 08:49

@thekindoflovewemakei am fully aware of the correct meaning of the phrase. My experience is just as valid as yours, but won’t be popular on here because it doesn’t support your viewpoint or argument. However, I felt uncomfortable with a blanket statement as it did not reflect MY lived experience.

Taztoy · 21/05/2026 07:52

Shedmistress · 21/05/2026 07:49

Personally I think more men should stand up and say what is and isn't right.

You don't have to be female to know that female people need their own spaces.

Absolutely they should.

but they should do the work themselves.

Men taking women’s work for free is a tale as old as time.

Shedmistress · 21/05/2026 07:49

Personally I think more men should stand up and say what is and isn't right.

You don't have to be female to know that female people need their own spaces.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 21/05/2026 07:40

Surely having a daughter has not only awoken a desire to fight this issue @MyShyCat

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 21/05/2026 07:38

What other feminist causes are you supportive, and actively doing / pursuing @MyShyCat?

Taztoy · 21/05/2026 07:32

2021x · 21/05/2026 00:25

Interesting response. My point is that the OP only wants to partcipate as the "hero" and anyone familiar with the drama triangle will no that it is is the "heros" that actually cause the issues.

This isn't an issue that some "practical tips" will help. It will take so really brave males to take the time to understand the female perspective for it to come to a resolution - and that starts with tackling your own biases. Any person who is an activist on behalf of someone else are only engaging on a superficial level in order to get the satisfaction of feeling like they have done something they cause problems down the line... this is exactly what has happended with trans rights.

Trans people simply wanted to exist in society the same as everyone else. They wanted to not be discriminated at work, housing etc and to have access to high quality medical care if they wished to transition. Then the gay rights organisations decided to fight on their behalf but were projecting their own issues onto trans people. Unfortunately there is a high level of misogny in gay male culture so the guardrails weren't put up. Then transvestities co-opted the cause and because it was all men together they didn't value protecting women.

Show quote history

I agree with your point about the op wanting to be the hero.

and he wants women’s effort for free. Effort hes not prepared to put in himself.

dinodart · 21/05/2026 02:40

2021x · 21/05/2026 00:25

Interesting response. My point is that the OP only wants to partcipate as the "hero" and anyone familiar with the drama triangle will no that it is is the "heros" that actually cause the issues.

This isn't an issue that some "practical tips" will help. It will take so really brave males to take the time to understand the female perspective for it to come to a resolution - and that starts with tackling your own biases. Any person who is an activist on behalf of someone else are only engaging on a superficial level in order to get the satisfaction of feeling like they have done something they cause problems down the line... this is exactly what has happended with trans rights.

Trans people simply wanted to exist in society the same as everyone else. They wanted to not be discriminated at work, housing etc and to have access to high quality medical care if they wished to transition. Then the gay rights organisations decided to fight on their behalf but were projecting their own issues onto trans people. Unfortunately there is a high level of misogny in gay male culture so the guardrails weren't put up. Then transvestities co-opted the cause and because it was all men together they didn't value protecting women.

Show quote history

"trans people simply wanted to exist in society"

did they tho? a lot of older male transvestites are mad at the modern trans movement because it highlighted things like how they were using women's single sex spaces.

2021x · 21/05/2026 00:25

SidewaysOtter · 20/05/2026 13:25

Give over @2021x, the OP just wants to help (and protect his teenage daughter) and you want to turn this into some hand-wringing session on “checking one’s privilege” or some such?

OP, I’ve been in this fight a fair while and I’d say:

Support the fundraisers, esp the legal action crowdfunders and amplify them;
Support groups like WRN, FWS and Sex Matters;
Subscribe to newsletters (WRN, FWS, Sex Matters etc) and support campaigns that ask for action like letter writing;
Check your daughters’ school’s policies on single sex facilities/sports and challenge if necessary/possible; and
Have conversations with people - especially your daughter. The more people a) know about this stuff and b) know that their friends and family are in support of women’s rights, the better. It also helps to challenge misconceptions.

Interesting response. My point is that the OP only wants to partcipate as the "hero" and anyone familiar with the drama triangle will no that it is is the "heros" that actually cause the issues.

This isn't an issue that some "practical tips" will help. It will take so really brave males to take the time to understand the female perspective for it to come to a resolution - and that starts with tackling your own biases. Any person who is an activist on behalf of someone else are only engaging on a superficial level in order to get the satisfaction of feeling like they have done something they cause problems down the line... this is exactly what has happended with trans rights.

Trans people simply wanted to exist in society the same as everyone else. They wanted to not be discriminated at work, housing etc and to have access to high quality medical care if they wished to transition. Then the gay rights organisations decided to fight on their behalf but were projecting their own issues onto trans people. Unfortunately there is a high level of misogny in gay male culture so the guardrails weren't put up. Then transvestities co-opted the cause and because it was all men together they didn't value protecting women.

2021x · 20/05/2026 23:45

MyShyCat · 20/05/2026 11:54

Hi 2021x

Not sure I understand what you mean by "We all have it especially women."

Thanks for checking in.

Misogny is built on the premise that women are not as valuable as men in society. this thought has been super-boosted by all cultures that have a dominant Abrahamic relgion.

Women have internalised misogyny that prevents them for standing for their rights which is part of the reason that we are in this situation in the first place. A lot of women are over-sympathising with mens feelings and have therefore been tolerating the erosiion of their boundaires.

As a male you are in a difficult situation because you might not even be aware of your level sexim/misogyny. You are simply seeing this as a problem to fix, rather than understanding and empathising with why it is so important. Another poster noted that you only became aware of this issue when your daughter was born, but didn't even think about it when it affected all the other women in your life. I would start there- why didn't you see it as an issue until then?

If you just jump in without any reflection on how you have particiapated and contributed in the culture, you will be smoked out as a disingenous man and be sidelined and may become resentful. Males have not been socially conditioned to sit and listen to women, they have socially conditioned to save them. This makes it hard for men to work with women on social issues because it just causes more conflict.

Even though she caused all the current problems in Australia the Julia Guillard Misogny speech is a good place to start... it outlines the relentless day-to-day misogny that women have face, some TED talks about masuclinity and how it affects women are also good places to start. All are linked below.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80

Screamingabdabz · 20/05/2026 23:22

“The 'gender critical' movement is founded on hollow, elitist fantasies of saviourism.”

…or just biological, scientific, factual, reality? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Op - ignore the zealots. Well done championing this cause for your dd. Better late than never. Even if you talk about it and give people the facts, it helps. The silent majority of normal
people are GC anyway, it just augments the solidarity when you think the world has gone mad (like the comment I’ve quoted - people want to believe it so much they lose all grip on reality).

Ilikeanicecupofteainthemorning · 20/05/2026 22:48

the point is that TWAM and really this is a problem for men to solve

why do some men feel that they aren't men?
why do some men feel it would be dangerous for them to go in a men's toilet?
why is it still possible for a boy to think
'I don't fancy girls so I must be one'
what about the boys who think
'I don't want to be like THAT so...I'd be better off as a girl'
'I don't like football or cars or fighting so...I must be a girl'

these are ALL men's problems for men to solve- we can't help you with that OP