Biggus Titus of Oxford University

I weep for the qualified women passed over for this freak

This ⬆️⬆️⬆️

"Be kind" and "it's important to show you respect [add in pretty much anything]" have a lot to answer for in the erosion of boundaries.

I'm very much live and let live. Wear what you like but be aware of the context when you pick your outfit. Just as I wouldn't expect to see someone wearing a bikini at a funeral, nor do I expect fetish outfits in the workplace. Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned, unkind and disrespectful.

Curious choice of attire for a primary school too. I can't imagine too many "ladies who lunch" going for a frilly, lacy skirt. Kate's is also above the knee but is not giving off quite the same vibe.

I think this is the interview where he talks to Kirsty Young about how he enjoys shocking people but sadly can't get it up in the same way as he used to, so it's less exciting for him now. Poor Grayson.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001wqf2

Oh come on. No woman would ever go to work dressed like that. Reminds me of this fetishist who was eventually told no in the civil service. There are appropriate clothes for work and this man isn't wearing them.h

ttps://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13725993/amp/Minister-civil-servants-fetish-gear-work-transgender.html

Oh my gosh! How awful for her. He looks like a literal clown. Her treating him with respect and kindness, and him treating her with complete disrespect and as basically a sex toy. I’m so angry on her behalf. She’s a member of the royal family you utter creep!

I wonder if Grayson Perry has plateaued in his behaviour.

In his autobiography he talks about wearing frilly dresses (when dressed as "Claire") because it's a helpful way to hide erections.

Being photographed with a member of the royal family while wearing a frilly dress at a primary school is presumably a coincidence.

The Guardian article doesn't show the dress in full but describes it as a "lady who lunches" dress:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/jan/15/duchess-cambridge-grayson-perry-visit-childrens-studio

The Mail has a full length shot of it, asking who has the best legs:

https://www.dailymail.com/lifestyle/article-2911257/amp/Every-inch-yummy-mummy-Duchess-Cambridge-pretty-navy-meets-arty-children-Grayson-Perry.html

I'm not sure whether his infamous codpiece at a children's charity photo was from before or after this appearance.

Definitely.

There's a middle-aged male teacher at my children's school who wears dresses and occasionally wears anime-style socks. I have no idea if the socks are for a special occasion, pure coincidence (i.e. the style is simply a coincidence and it's irrelevant that anime has a dark side re autogynophilia) or part of a journey towards further exploration of what can be got away with.

I'm going to assume that we won't be seeing a Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey outfit any time soon but never say never. The staff seem to love a bit of fancy dress whenever the occasion arises, and kindness (including preferred pronouns and recognising the importance of accepting people as they want to be seen etc) is a school value, so perhaps we will. Lots of students and staff seem to be sitting in the pan, valuing inclusion and respect, while it slowly boils.

If anyone doubts this is a fetish just look at Kristi Noem’s husband Now that he’s been outed it’s only a matter of time until he’s parading around in those one day. Why keep it private when one can walk around in a continual state of arousal with a constant stream of unwitting victims? I despise that this behavior is being normalized and it will get worse, it always does.

I bet she does @Bumblebeeforever , it's so important but nothing to them, it remains with us forever.

I’m not sure of the time of day, but I believe it was fairly normal that if you’d had the book long enough they’d go round and knock on the door, she always returned them promptly after that though, funnily enough. It upset her enough that she still remembers the incident 30+ years later!

This is the problem. If the fetish is allowed at work, the thrill of expressing it fades. So how does he get that thrill back? What will he have to start doing next?
And doesn't all this just indulge a man in an obsession that has taken over his life? Where are the charities dedicated to providing support for these men to get their lives back on track? Where are the men, fund-raising for research on the best ways to recover full mental health? No-one is being well-served by allowing this sort of behaviour.

It's bad enough he was in his fetish gear but was that the done thing round your way, for librarians to hunt down late returners? And would it have been at a time when the male of the house, if there was one, was at work?

"....and feminist activists against transwomen"

Women campaigning to get their right's returned to them are not the above, by using such terminology I'd say your not a women and you were not 'born a women', you're a figment of your own imagination.

Trying to make 'giant foam breasts' the equivalent of a head scarf or personalised jewellery is a pathic attempt to normalise the abnormal, only a genderwanger would try that.

I think we’ve been slow-boiled long enough for someone to dust off Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey and start showing up at schools and libraries again. We’d be scolded for not respecting ‘British values’ if anyone looked askance.

This is disgraceful.

The word @MaggieBsBoat used was parodying. Big fake strap on tits are a parody of womanhood in the same way as blackface or the Rasta hat with dreadlocks are a parody. Why are you OK with women being parodied?, but not others?

I found this essay a really helpful way to get my head around autogynophilia, written by an autogynophilic male:

https://archive.is/2pQIq

It doesn't cover everything (for example it doesn't cover the coercive control that can go on in a marriage when someone "comes out" as "trans" in middle age) but goes a good way towards describing the motivations of an autogynophile. It also looks at how this is different from other reasons why some males identify as women.

As PPs have said, it's not the same as "blackface", not least because that doesn't have a sexual element. But its potential to offend as dehumanising is similar, regardless of the motivation (including males who aren't autogynophilic), because it's about identifying into a group by mimicking an appearance. The comparison here would be whether someone was doing blackface because they really wanted to be black (e.g. Rachel Dolezal) or were mocking black people in some way (e.g. the Black and White Minstrels). I'm not black, but I imagine each is equally offensive, albeit for different reasons.

Similar to blackface, some autogynophiles enjoy doing exaggerated caricatures. Others get their kicks using other ways of hiding in plain sight.

After governing body fails to reach a decision and the head of house goes on holiday, and then it’s the end of term….🥴

Many many years ago before people lost their minds to the genderwoos the man from our local library turned up at our door to collect a library book my mum had forgotten to return, dressed in women’s clothing, my mum who was at home with two small children naturally felt quite uneasy at this and called the library to complain, she was offered an apology and the bloke was never seen again. Of course that was back in the days when people understood that men dressing in women’s clothes was a red flag.

The other is a male exhibiting a sex fetish in a work situation where other people are also powerless to complain about it.

It is worse than this - other people are not only powerless to complain, it is likely that if they do complain they will be sanctioned by the university and ostracized by elements of the student body.

The fetishist knows this. His actions are not brave or stunning, he is stamping down his power over other members of the university from a position of absolute safety

Nope, people (men) need to leave their fetishises at home. Or take them out to a fetish club or similar where they can hang out with like-minded consenting people.

I agree but like-minded and consenting doesn't give them the exhilaration they want. They might start off with that, once they've ventured outside, but it will always escalate.

@Catietteapologies I have now RTFT and seen that you said exactly what I did but much earlier and rather better.

And as an academic I would like to say that my commitment to the GC cause definitely stops short of going in tomorrow wearing a mahoosive knitted dildo. Please dear God no. Can we stick to placards and suffragette colours? (Though this being Mumsnet someone has probably already knitted a mahoosive dildo in suffragette colours).

And remember that all Oxford colleges (there are 39) and departments, including doctoral training centres, are separate legal entities. St Hilda’s will have a separate HR department dealing with this, although they will be taking advice from legal (either internal or external, but colleges tend to hire external legal experts) in their handling of this because they will have to get their comms right.