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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

To what extent are we allowed to discuss parallels between cults and gender ideology?

241 replies

WitchyWitcherson · 15/04/2026 12:48

Although harrowing and upsetting, I find cult documentaries fascinating. There are a couple that stand out to me as having really strong parallels to gender ideological beliefs.

Notably (on Netflix if anyone else wants to watch them!):

  • Docs on Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints (FLDS) such as Keep Sweet. The phrase and purpose of "Keep Sweet" as used by the Jeffs patriarchs has a lot of similarities with the "Be Kind" narrative that has been peddled to keep people from questioning things.
  • The Programme: Cons, Cults and Kidnappings - Episode 2 in particular on vulnerability of desperate parents to looking for easy solutions, then subsequent denial/minimisation of the damages done to their children.
  • Twin Flames: They coerce people into medical transition because of a belief in a male or female spirit.

Anyway, these parallels to me are stark, but over the years I've noticed post deletions where people describe gender ideology as cult-like (incidentally in the "The Programme" doc, there was an online forum for parents with kids in the 'school' that deleted all posts criticising the programme...! Talk about more parallels...). So I ask... to what extent are we allowed to discuss these parallels without posts being deleted?

To caveat: I understand not all trans-identified people have homogenous beliefs on sex and gender, and I'm not saying all trans-identified people are part of some cult conspiracy, just that there are aspects to gender ideology and some of the people who are proponents of said ideology adhering to similar behaviours to people who are within cults (shutting down discussion, holding onto beliefs in the face of clear facts and harms, claiming special/"other" status, offering a solution to people's suffering etc. etc.).

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SionnachRuadh · 16/04/2026 21:47

EdithStourton · 16/04/2026 20:31

In this situation, we haven't much of a choice.
We've been forced into it.

'False consciousness' was mentioned upthread. That concept has struck me for years as doing an absolute number on sensible discourse. You are either an Oppressor, and therefore Bad, or Oppressed and recognise it, and therefore Good, or Oppressed but arguing the toss about it, saying you were never oppressed, you had a decent crack at life, you got on with the powers-that-be and found them fair-minded and reasonable etc etc - and this makes you a victim of 'false consciousness'. Which is to say, you are being pushed firmly into the appropriate box, while being told that you had no idea what was going on. Which is really fucking patronising, when you stop and think about it.

That is not to say that people can't be duped, but when you have some academic dictating how things should have looked to a highly intelligent individual who happens to have left clear-eyed writing saying how things did look, to him or her, at the time and on reflection 30/40/50 years later, and saying s/he was a victim of false consciousness, it just feels wrong

Edited

Yes. I think I know what Engels was getting at with the idea, but as often happens with Engels, his philosophical dabbling turned out to be a bit of a liability in the long term.

False consciousness today means "You may say X, but I know you really believe Y and are arguing in bad faith. I have telepathic powers which I was awarded along with my degree in Cultural Studies."

MissGendering · 16/04/2026 21:20

TheKeatingFive · 16/04/2026 19:44

But what else are we supposed to do?

Predatory men who want access to women's spaces have no interest whatsoever in respecting women's needs. No amount of encouragement to consider others would make a difference.

Predatory men who transgress women's boundaries should be charged with harassment etc. Thats nothing to do with the EA's aim or intent?

EdithStourton · 16/04/2026 20:31

TheKeatingFive · 16/04/2026 19:44

But what else are we supposed to do?

Predatory men who want access to women's spaces have no interest whatsoever in respecting women's needs. No amount of encouragement to consider others would make a difference.

In this situation, we haven't much of a choice.
We've been forced into it.

'False consciousness' was mentioned upthread. That concept has struck me for years as doing an absolute number on sensible discourse. You are either an Oppressor, and therefore Bad, or Oppressed and recognise it, and therefore Good, or Oppressed but arguing the toss about it, saying you were never oppressed, you had a decent crack at life, you got on with the powers-that-be and found them fair-minded and reasonable etc etc - and this makes you a victim of 'false consciousness'. Which is to say, you are being pushed firmly into the appropriate box, while being told that you had no idea what was going on. Which is really fucking patronising, when you stop and think about it.

That is not to say that people can't be duped, but when you have some academic dictating how things should have looked to a highly intelligent individual who happens to have left clear-eyed writing saying how things did look, to him or her, at the time and on reflection 30/40/50 years later, and saying s/he was a victim of false consciousness, it just feels wrong

onepostwonder · 16/04/2026 20:22

FlirtsWithRhinos · 16/04/2026 17:26

Disclaimer, I haven't read the article so this is a more general musing....

What I've noticed in my lifetime is a move from socially enforced good behaviour to an expectation that good behaviour will be legally or structurally enforced, and a corresponding overreach by law and police to settle what should be personal or political arguments, and by schools, institutions, media and so forth to define what society should find acceptable r not.

Perhaps it is an unavoidable consequence of moving from a relatively monolithic culture where people felt confident in bullying anyone whose thinking, taste or lifestyle was outside the norm to a pluralistic one where there is no consensus on norm in the first place. When the behaviour of other encrouches on us, or crosses what we believe is a moral line, we don't feel able to confront it in person so we appeal to authority to enforce for us.

Edited

I learned that I didn't fully appreciate the film 'Brazil' until I moved to the UK.

TheKeatingFive · 16/04/2026 19:44

MissGendering · 16/04/2026 19:23

Litigating anti discrimination means people end up necessarily more concerned with the letter of the law than human interaction and society and the larger ideas that underpin it, like morality, fairness, etc.

It becomes another tool to beat people with, rather than an encouragement to consider others, and our responsibilities.

Look at single sex spaces. Rather than considering the needs of a CSA survivor or a woman having a flooding period and in need of privacy, and making a practical, compassionate solution, we've had an interminable court case that has retraumatised the women involved and is still unresolved. Litigation is an absolutely shit way to resolve societal issues. Imo.

But what else are we supposed to do?

Predatory men who want access to women's spaces have no interest whatsoever in respecting women's needs. No amount of encouragement to consider others would make a difference.

GlovedhandsCecilia · 16/04/2026 19:29

DialSquare · 16/04/2026 17:37

How ironic to use the word “appropriated” whist standing up for an ideology that has unashamedly appropriated anyone and anything that it can.

What ideology?

MissGendering · 16/04/2026 19:23

Litigating anti discrimination means people end up necessarily more concerned with the letter of the law than human interaction and society and the larger ideas that underpin it, like morality, fairness, etc.

It becomes another tool to beat people with, rather than an encouragement to consider others, and our responsibilities.

Look at single sex spaces. Rather than considering the needs of a CSA survivor or a woman having a flooding period and in need of privacy, and making a practical, compassionate solution, we've had an interminable court case that has retraumatised the women involved and is still unresolved. Litigation is an absolutely shit way to resolve societal issues. Imo.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 16/04/2026 19:02

MissGendering
I personally think it worsens attitudes on the whole, because nobody likes to be sanctimoniously preached at. Plus it assumes bad faith as a basis, which is demeaning and antagonistic. Much of the effect ends up damaging social cohesion.

I was for a long time part of a large and semi-structured group of between a hundred and fifteen hundred people at any given event, who got along quite nicely on the whole and behaved what I would tend to classify as "decently"; for instance, if someone with a pushchair or a wheelchair wanted to use a lift, people who didn't have pushchairs or wheelchairs would tend to let them into the lift first. There may have been pushy, unpleasant exceptions to this decency, but I never personally encountered one.

Then along came a (thoroughly nasty in all sorts of contexts) individual who had someone in a wheelchair in tow. On the second day of the gathering, she had printed out a lot of notices and stuck them at the door of every lift, on every floor. They said "give way to wheelchair users".

And whereas until that day, none of us would have failed to let someone in a wheelchair into the lift first, and thought nothing of it, now a fairly large cohort felt inclined not to give way to this individual and her wheelchair-bound appendage but instead to barge in front of them at every opportunity. Being hectored made us resentful in a way that was quite startling when we examined it in her absence.

It didn't actually help that this happened to be the only person in a wheelchair at the gathering that weekend....

soupycustard · 16/04/2026 18:36

@FlirtsWithRhinos There is a definite argument that ever since Thatcher - and with another peak during the Blair years - there has been far too much legislation, often responding in a slightly unthinking way to media/public-led concerns, and in parallel with governments trying to control the judiciary.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 16/04/2026 18:11

MissGendering · 16/04/2026 17:56

Well, that's exactly what the Equality Act did or tried to do. Formalised and legalised 'correct' behaviour, attitudes, beliefs, etc.

I personally think it worsens attitudes on the whole, because nobody likes to be sanctimoniously preached at. Plus it assumes bad faith as a basis, which is demeaning and antagonistic. Much of the effect ends up damaging social cohesion.

Yes. It's a hard one. Given where we are I think we do need the EA or some sort of protection for people who don't fit society's stereotypes of who is suited to what roles, who makes the best decisions or the best leaders, who is most to be trusted and so on, and ways to create opportunities for people who wouldn't get them because they don't start from the right place. But I also see the limitations and collateral damage.

MissGendering · 16/04/2026 17:56

FlirtsWithRhinos · 16/04/2026 17:26

Disclaimer, I haven't read the article so this is a more general musing....

What I've noticed in my lifetime is a move from socially enforced good behaviour to an expectation that good behaviour will be legally or structurally enforced, and a corresponding overreach by law and police to settle what should be personal or political arguments, and by schools, institutions, media and so forth to define what society should find acceptable r not.

Perhaps it is an unavoidable consequence of moving from a relatively monolithic culture where people felt confident in bullying anyone whose thinking, taste or lifestyle was outside the norm to a pluralistic one where there is no consensus on norm in the first place. When the behaviour of other encrouches on us, or crosses what we believe is a moral line, we don't feel able to confront it in person so we appeal to authority to enforce for us.

Edited

Well, that's exactly what the Equality Act did or tried to do. Formalised and legalised 'correct' behaviour, attitudes, beliefs, etc.

I personally think it worsens attitudes on the whole, because nobody likes to be sanctimoniously preached at. Plus it assumes bad faith as a basis, which is demeaning and antagonistic. Much of the effect ends up damaging social cohesion.

DialSquare · 16/04/2026 17:37

How ironic to use the word “appropriated” whist standing up for an ideology that has unashamedly appropriated anyone and anything that it can.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 16/04/2026 17:26

SionnachRuadh · 16/04/2026 17:15

The "Angry Young Women" cover story in this week's New Statesman is a quite a thing. There's a definite story worth telling about women in their 20s, who are a real outlier in polling terms and are driving a lot of the surge in Green support. But I can't quite decide whether the NS article is a clever spoof, because a lot of the "new feminism" they're touting seems to be young women who have intuited that the dating market is fucked and, because they're chronically online, are looking to politics to sort this out.

It makes me wish this cohort of young women had a kind of female Jordan Peterson (before he went off the rails) who could give them actionable life advice like, stop doomscrolling, stop being angry that Sydney Sweeney exists, and stop blaming the terrible state of the dating market on Israel and landlords.

I don't think Angela Nagle's model of online subcultures is completely correct, but she was definitely onto something.

Disclaimer, I haven't read the article so this is a more general musing....

What I've noticed in my lifetime is a move from socially enforced good behaviour to an expectation that good behaviour will be legally or structurally enforced, and a corresponding overreach by law and police to settle what should be personal or political arguments, and by schools, institutions, media and so forth to define what society should find acceptable r not.

Perhaps it is an unavoidable consequence of moving from a relatively monolithic culture where people felt confident in bullying anyone whose thinking, taste or lifestyle was outside the norm to a pluralistic one where there is no consensus on norm in the first place. When the behaviour of other encrouches on us, or crosses what we believe is a moral line, we don't feel able to confront it in person so we appeal to authority to enforce for us.

SionnachRuadh · 16/04/2026 17:15

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 16/04/2026 16:29

Brill, CRT now in the house, all we need is a Jew hating, terrorist lover and we'll have the Omnicause Trifecta.

I love MN 😍, it's the oyster the whole world is in.

Edited

The "Angry Young Women" cover story in this week's New Statesman is a quite a thing. There's a definite story worth telling about women in their 20s, who are a real outlier in polling terms and are driving a lot of the surge in Green support. But I can't quite decide whether the NS article is a clever spoof, because a lot of the "new feminism" they're touting seems to be young women who have intuited that the dating market is fucked and, because they're chronically online, are looking to politics to sort this out.

It makes me wish this cohort of young women had a kind of female Jordan Peterson (before he went off the rails) who could give them actionable life advice like, stop doomscrolling, stop being angry that Sydney Sweeney exists, and stop blaming the terrible state of the dating market on Israel and landlords.

I don't think Angela Nagle's model of online subcultures is completely correct, but she was definitely onto something.

Shedmistress · 16/04/2026 16:38

DrBlackbird · 16/04/2026 16:12

Why all the white t shirts? That whole thing looked weird. And was their humming to disrupt speakers?

Yes. They were discussing girls and single sex sports. The evil bastards.

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 16/04/2026 16:29

Brill, CRT now in the house, all we need is a Jew hating, terrorist lover and we'll have the Omnicause Trifecta.

I love MN 😍, it's the oyster the whole world is in.

DrBlackbird · 16/04/2026 16:12

Why all the white t shirts? That whole thing looked weird. And was their humming to disrupt speakers?

Shortshriftandlethal · 16/04/2026 16:08

GlovedhandsCecilia · 16/04/2026 14:57

Ok. Sounds like white people appropriated Intersectionality in a way that led to it being easier to dismiss the concept of White Feninism and the issue with racism in Feminism generally. That is why we still have the issue of mainstream feminism being unattractive, irrelevant and even harmful to non-white women and often lead by racist white women

That whole argument is like an internal dialogue within Intersectionality itself. The base line of which is that 'White Feminism' is a thing, and that it oppresses 'women of colour', and whatever anyone says to the contrary, or whatever other perspective is put forward is all a false flag or evidence of false consciousness.

The article of faith is that women of colour are oppressed by white women and everything will be bent towards confirming that. This is itself all very racist in my view. Make everything about race and positioning 'white women' as oppressors.

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 16/04/2026 16:02

Hedgehogforshort · 16/04/2026 15:59

The second wave of feminism fell to bits as did spare rib, over the whole hierarchy of oppression and intersectionality arguments, and about Zionism.

As I recall.

Certainly when I think they 'nuked the fridge'.

Hedgehogforshort · 16/04/2026 16:02

@GlovedhandsCecilia And you make massive sweeping statements about white feminist racists being a thing.

Hedgehogforshort · 16/04/2026 15:59

GlovedhandsCecilia · 16/04/2026 14:57

Ok. Sounds like white people appropriated Intersectionality in a way that led to it being easier to dismiss the concept of White Feninism and the issue with racism in Feminism generally. That is why we still have the issue of mainstream feminism being unattractive, irrelevant and even harmful to non-white women and often lead by racist white women

The second wave of feminism fell to bits as did spare rib, over the whole hierarchy of oppression and intersectionality arguments, and about Zionism.

As I recall.

soupycustard · 16/04/2026 15:15

There was a point where strong, different, gender-non-conforming or 'wise' women were 'witches', 'scolds', 'unnatural'. Now we're 'racists', 'bigots', 'right-wing-adjacent'. Plus ca change.

GlovedhandsCecilia · 16/04/2026 14:57

SylvanMoon · 16/04/2026 12:23

Lots of the concepts from Second Wave Feminists had good intentions, but have had horrible unintended consequences for women and society:

  • Intersectionality, or overlapping systems of oppression, has morphed into the ‘concept creep’ with the use of the word ‘oppression’ being used to describe discrimination. That’s led to the TRA claim that their TWAW movement is a civil rights movement!
  • The concept of the oppressor and the oppressed, framing it in terms of something specific to a particular group in society. With the spread of women’s studies in university departments, the concept was generalised as a way of describing virtually all relationships in society and giving permission to label anyone you disagree with as an “oppressor” or bigot or fascist.
  • Viewing gender as a social construct in order to argue that biological differences should not lead to different treatment in society, such as lower status, lower salaries, and fewer opportunities for promotion. This has been bastardised into the shitshow we currently have over anyone who “feels like a woman” is one.
  • Considering the personal is political, which although initially was focused only on women, the idea of ‘individual experience’ as a foundation for understanding society within the social sciences and humanities spread alongside the theories of postmodern philosophers, and with the rise of neoliberalism. It’s legitimised a market-driven focus on individualism, personal responsibility, and consumer choice, turning it into a justification for individual pursuits rather than one in which we act within and with consideration for our community or society. It’s also introduced the idea of “relative truth”.
  • Bodily autonomy was promoted as an individual's asserted ‘right’ to decide on their own body without coercion, violence, or external interference. This includes choices concerning health care, reproduction, sexuality, and personal integrity. This has led to an abdication of any responsibility we might have to a greater society as a result of our personal actions.
  • Substantive equality or equity advocated for equal opportunities by using the state to reduce socioeconomic disparities in wealth, income, and access to essential services such as education and healthcare through taxation and legislation. Instead, it has become a “victimhood Olympics” in which groups and individuals are claiming moral status through narratives of trauma and injury, often assigning blame to others to secure recognition, resources, or political advantage.

Ok. Sounds like white people appropriated Intersectionality in a way that led to it being easier to dismiss the concept of White Feninism and the issue with racism in Feminism generally. That is why we still have the issue of mainstream feminism being unattractive, irrelevant and even harmful to non-white women and often lead by racist white women

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 16/04/2026 14:38

And the next important thing to consider is how to guard against cultist behaviour and totalitarianism gaining too much influence.

I think elected officials, political parties, public intuitions, such as the NHS etc, governments of any level, talking heads, influencers, people in general should be challenged when they express an opinion that seems counterfactual, the onus is on them to prove what they say is valid not on others to prove what they say is invalid.
No more free passes, no more 'agree to disagree', no more letting them hide behind insult's and made up words ending in' phobia'. They need to justify what the say and if they can't they need to be told, ever so diplomatically, they're talking through there rear ends.

Operation Let Them Speak, should now morph into Operations Now They Listen. They had they're say now it's our turn.

KnottyAuty · 16/04/2026 13:40

RedToothBrush · 16/04/2026 12:37

When anyone says 'MN is just another cult about this and we should respect other people's beliefs' I'd ask them to consider the following.

If you have an impossible belief it remains an impossible belief. Reality will get you in the end.

The same goes for sex - there will always be situations where it absolutely matters. You can't just decide it never matters and it's a social construct anymore than you can decide you believe you can fly.

I believe I can fly? Reality says splat.

The wall of reality doesn't change.

MN recognises this.

Good luck with the contraceptive effect of "biological sex is a belief" and "I feel like a male"