Truly single-sex bra fittings for DD13

I would have reacted as you did had I heard a man in the lingerie changing room. Of course we're not supposed to stay at home.

The conversation is going to be much the same as for any clothing eg. That looks it’s a good fit. Does that feel comfortable?

Plus I’m sure bra fitters are fully aware of how to not embarrass a girl getting her first bra.

Total non-issue.

It is a big deal for some of us. I was trying on a bra in M&S (emergency purchase, I normally avoid them but was away from home and needed a bra).

There was no supervision of the changing rooms, but it was the lingerie department so I had no expectation of there being a man there. Just as I was half naked, I heard a man cough and clear his throat in the next cubicle (yes it was definitely a man).

I completely froze; I was half undressed and he was between me and the exit of the fitting room with nobody else about. I am very robust usually, but I was shocked at how it affected me. I quickly dressed and saw his back as he was leaving; definitely a man and one who had no reason to be using the lingerie changing room, he was either just doing it for a jolly or worse.

My consent is not transferrable, and I do not consent to be half naked and vulnerable when men are around, whether in a toilet or a changing room. Are we just supposed to stay at home? How progressive of you.

It's not about it being a 'risky situation'. The OP has explicitly said it is not.

If you cannot see the issue with being in a cubicle, being measured for your first (any) bra, and talking about your body and breasts with the fitter, while a man in the next cubicle can hear you - then I'm not sure we can help you. However, you might start by reading reviews online by men about M&S lingerie they have ordered, and listening to shop staff who have to handle the returns that men have, er, used. And then having a little think about why particular males feel the need to go into the changing rooms situated next to the women's lingerie section.

It's still a real crapshoot!

I have had the same (make and model) bras for ages, went to find a replacement and everything from same brand in same size still completely varied in fit. It's so time-consuming!

OK. I didn't know about Target but now do. If Bridget Phillipson wasn't so dilatory, there would be clarity on this.

Crikey. If she’s as small as a 28aa or a then I’d get her some cropped tops for now. Some good ones are out there with support.

after that I get an idea of size, choose a bunch of bras buy them try them
at home. She doesn’t need a
professional fit yet.

surely you can judge it ?

Don't you? You might want to educate yourself on what happened at Target when changing rooms became unisex.

Sexual offences against women and girls are a big deal to most of us

No they haven’t been about for decades only since the trans movement started to indoctrinate themselves into women’s spaces. Trans woman are not woman they are men and it is absolutely ok as a young woman to not want men in the woman’s changing area for bra fitting or jeans trying on. It’s really that simple

There are two separate issues here: the sex of the bra fitting staff and the possibility of there being a male customer in the vicinity. I quite see why the bra fitting staff must be female but I don't get why a man being in an adjacent fitting room would be a big deal.

Go to Peter Jones in Sloane Square or John Lewis in Westfield. Taken DD a few times. Westfield in particular has a lovely fitter. Separate lingerie fitting rooms. Never seen any men in there.

Its bloody awful you even have the write this question @Secretsquirrelshh.

What has happened to the world???

Of course I wouldn’t, but by all means intentionally misunderstand a fairly clear post

Also Bella Rosa do online fitting
i am an awkward size and she’s very helpful and will send bras out to try with easy returns

https://www.bellarosalingerie.co.uk/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZnRzaARIm1FleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAadCsuNnNlH0GZ6-yFhBXRZtbK354WY8M28sHBzyhxE5kMPwUPcEPn6Z5jd3og_aem_ZveWNtgP2iUDhQASfCuFFQ

Just buy a variety on line! My DDs were not measured. They would have hated it. Just see what she’s comfortable in and return the rejected ones. This seems a lot of fuss.

Any of these near you?

https://sweetdreams-bra.co.uk/

https://thepantryunderwear.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoo2xYrlvjsA43NIuO9M_EMnii8TFkVaBqq-r8Y-jsDqtzdsLc1q

Like M&S, Next allow men into changing rooms. None of these busineses have any care or respect for their women customers.

OP I don't think there are any bra sellers where you can be guaranteed there will be no men as customers. It's fairly unlikely though. I, through necessity, buy bras from M&S. I took my youngest there for a bra fitting a few years ago, the lady who measured her was lovely. The fitting rooms are were all solid doors, and the bra fitting room had a little antechamber rather than opening directly onto a communal area. This was a branch in the North West. You had to get a timed appointment. I went back there a few weeks ago. I'd been informed I needed a specific type of bra just prior to something medical. The female staff member who saw me almost immediately was very kind. Everything else was a bit of a blur. M&S got a mass of bad publicity last year when a tw staff member spoke to a young girl about bras, I think they'd be very careful not to have a reoccurrence of that.

Eta. Though we did get a bra that fits, my youngest mostly wears sports bras.

I'm sure you'd be quite happy with a man measuring your 13 year old for their first bra.

An A cup just means there is 1 inch of difference between under bust and over bust measurements. B cup is 2 inches, and so on. It really is that simple to measure!
I can see why women with "awkward" breasts might benefit from an experienced fitter, but no young teenager needs one.
Just get her to measure over bust and under bust, with a tight t shirt on if she's awkward. Then order loads of bras and let her have a fun trying on session at home.

Allow men into the changing rooms

if you already know roughly what her size would be why do you even need a fitting? Lots of teens would find that mortifying. If you look at the bra threads on here everyone slags off the various chains at doing it completely incorrectly anyway.

Different bras will fit completely differently anyway even if the 'correct' size. Just order a selection and get her to try them on at home. It's impossible to get the width part wrong anyway as it is literally just her measurement, so worst comes to the worst she might end up wearing an A when the 'professional' might have recommended an AA - so what? It will hardly impact her development.

Thinking female only changing rooms are important is fair enough but it is really does not seem to be necessary or beneficial for your dd in this specific scenario. If the prospect of a man being in the vicinity is so distressing for you and dd then just do it at home and remove the potential from 1% to 0%.

Getting measured there doesn’t t mean you have to buy from there