Trans people are more obsessed with JK Rowling then they think she is with them

So bored of this stupidity.

It absolutely does damage women and girls (in the original female sense) when we accept the sexist idea that the difference between men and women, the fundamental difference that makes us women or men, is mental not physical.

Firstly because it takes us right back to the same stupid sexism that decided women's minds were suited to the home and obedience and kindness while men's were suited to leadership and ambition and power.

And secondly because it disconnects us as female people from the language and history we need to make sense of what has been and still is done to us because of our female bodies.

It is an abhorrent and unbelievably arrogant selfish thing to do to take the name of half of humanity and use it to label your own sense of self based on nothing more than your own biases and projections about the opposite sex.

Have you heard of Machiavelli? You can be a dick if you can get people behind you morally. Jkr is controversial because she’s not picking on someone like Donald trump or Putin, she’s picking on members of a marginalised group (some deservedly so). I just don’t think she’s winning the hearts of the moderates who make the difference.

Yes well if we followed your strategy we would still be fucked

You are perfectly capable of googling if you’re seriously suggesting that in 2026 you have no idea what that acronym means

I just think strategically it wasn’t the best option. I think it’s deflecting from her real point - violence against women and girls is still widespread. Anyone who speaks out is labelled a ‘witch’ or ‘crazy’ and they’re silenced. Why is she not fighting this? Why aggressive TRAs who wouldn’t even get noticed without the piggyback of her success?

Ain't that the truth!

Is that a wi fi code as to me it has no sensible meaning

Look, men will always find reasons to dismiss women because "they said it wrong".

Women can dance around their entire lives trying to find the rights words to be heard.

Eventually you realise it's all just an excuse. There's no way a woman can say something a man doesn't want to hear in a way that makes it acceptable to him.

At which point you stop dancing around and just talk straight and make him deal with it.

They fall under the umbrella of lgbtqia, which is a minority group.

Entitled misogynist men who believe women's purpose in this world is to support their needs and whims are sadly not a minority group.

That some of these men have started calling themselves "women" doesn't make them actually a different group to the rest.

That’s a real stretch because
a. She’s not here
b. That’s not tone policing. I’m not telling trans rights activists to calm down. I’m not telling JKR what to believe. I’m expressing a personal opinion that a specific word choice was unnecessary and counterproductive, with affection for her.
c. You have conflated “I wish she’d made a different strategic choice” with “I’m policing how marginalised people express anger” — which are completely different things.

I suspect she is WAY too busy writing books for all her fans waiting for the next instalment of the Strike series to care too much about what people think about her views.
She is entitled to them as are we all.

The men she misgendered (or correctly sexed) were chosen specifically by her. They were activists or taking opportunities or prizes away from women and she was highlighting it. She herself said she would be happy to refer to people any way they choose. Grifters excepted. I think everyone of those men she misgendered richly deserved it.

We can agree to differ. Several people asked for an alternative view so I gave said how I feel about JKR. I was, of course, aware few would agree with me on MN! I won’t continue to debate as I have other things to do!

it damages nobody to refer to them as she/he

Ok, my assumption we're all familiar with the Mumsnet legend Barrackers essay was clearly wrong. Sorry, I've been here too long (under various names).

It definitely does damage and affects others if we refer to male people as she or her. There's the Stroop effect and there's the obfuscation of material reality by saying "she is banned from women's sport" (which sounds unfair) rather than "males excluded from women's sport" (which sounds not only fair but entirely rational).

JKR’s failings include

1. being amazingly rich
2. being a hugely successful author
3. being a woman

Transwomen are not biologically the same as CIS women, but they deserve respect and it damages nobody to refer to them as she/her. They do not deserve to be ridiculed by being called a man in a dress.

Correct, these men often dont even put a dress on.

But they are biologically the same as what you might call 'cis men' or what I would call 'men'.

Trans women have been using those bathrooms for years and have gone unnoticed

Off the top of my head, I've noticed a man in traditionally feminine clothes in a female loo, and another in a pharmacy, and one at DH's work, and one serving in the women's shoes section of a clothing store, and two in the local orchestra, and one delivering parcels. I didn't ask their gender identity. In the case of the one in the loos, my daughter and I just briskly left.

I've quirked an ear at many a male voice on the radio and correctly noted the speaker as a transwoman.

How do you know that transwomen have mostly gone unnoticed? It sounds unlikely.

compelling people to lie and obscure the truth absolutely does cause damage

compare this about a TW - customers complained that a man was in the woman's changing room
with
customers complained that a woman was in the woman's changing room

the first one is very clear what the issue is, the second makes it sound like there is no issue at all

It ain’t what you do…….

Is that Bananarama I can hear tuning up in the wings?

To be clear, I'm saying you're tone policing her, not me.

Nobody is disagreeing that you can say what you like, so that doesn't need to be continually stated. Just don't pretend your only options are to tone police or agree, and don't complain that people disagree with you.

When I see her witty ripostes on Twix I just think of Samuel Johnson exchanging barbed comments with others. I’ve never seen her make snarky comments about people who haven’t poked the bear - her comments are literally ripostes.

And calling men women does do damage. As we have all seen so vividly, you cannot defend women’s rights unless you can define women. If you’re asking what harm it does then I would remind you of the rape victim denied compensation and rebuked by the court because she had refused to call her male rapist by female pronouns. We have the right to use clear, factual language, even if it makes some people sad, and that right underpins every other democratic right. Read your Orwell.