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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Woman dies by euthanasia after becoming paraplegic trying to commit suicide after gang rape

447 replies

AComplicatedWoman · 27/03/2026 01:29

This is one of the most heartbreaking news stories I have come across.

Noelia Castillo had a difficult childhood and spent much of it in care homes. She was sexually assaulted by her ex-boyfriend of four years after she had taken sleeping pills to help her sleep, and was assaulted on another occasion by several men in a nightclub. She attempted suicide in October 2022, and it left her unable to use her legs and in a wheelchair. Noelia conducted a long legal battle with her father for the right to end her life and she died by euthanasia on Thursday.

RIP Noelia. I am so sorry that your life was destroyed by these abhorrent abusive men.

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/noelia-castillo-euthanasia-law-spain-b2946671.html

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CuteOrangeElephant · 01/04/2026 08:04

OldCrone · 31/03/2026 00:11

Are you sure they've got it right in the Netherlands?

https://archive.ph/g6am1

https://archive.ph/VzQNJ

That last article you are quoting is misrepresentative.

That girl was denied euthanasia via the usual pathway. She died by not eating and drinking, and medics made sure she didn't suffer.

ArabellaScott · 01/04/2026 07:59

I think everyone understands that pain is horrible. Most people in the UK support the principle of assisted dying and understand the reasons for it.

There is no argument there from me.

I wish the govt had tasked someone competent to write the legislation, not put it through as a PMB, and considered properly, seriously, and rigorously whether its possible to legislate for it without all of the unintended downsides.

Of which there are many, including murder, coercion, and 'accidental mistakes', which in this situation have the gravest consequences and can't be reversed.

It'd be good to look far more closely at other countries with a critical eye. As with so.many issues, its framed as adverserial, people with questions are jeered at. That in.itself means concerns are not being scrutinised properly.

Scotland eventually chose not to go ahead, despite public support. I think once one looks closely and considers the issues it reveals just how complex an issue it is despite apparent simplicity. And just how grave the implications.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 01/04/2026 07:41

Sadly the hard truth is that feelings of self worth and vulnerability tend to disappear when one's body is filled with excruciating pain like dust in a furnace. Everything comes down to the here and now and enduring each second, then the next, then the next, then the next.

Painkillers, even fentanyl, don't always touch the sides.

Enduring that pain or discomfort, or watching someone you love beg to die for weeks and months because they can do nothing to escape that pain, puts things in perspective. To have a fulfilled and pleasant life we need self-respect and to feel valued, but that involves our attention after we're free from extreme pain.

Unfortunately as well some (not all) people going through that level of pain, well, their world becomes small and defined only by pain, and they stop being able to see beyond it to the effect that their actions have on others. It's not selfishness, it's the extremes of suffering. Just being human. But it's extremely difficult to handle and can leave awful after effects.

Suffering is not always optional, indeed. It is cruel to force people to endure it, when there are ways out that the person themselves longs for.

ArabellaScott · 31/03/2026 19:35

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 15:41

Just like now, where wrong decisions happen and unbearable suffering ensues, because AD is not available.

But the state is not actively killing people, at least.

Which is pretty much the most dangerous and basic threat possible.

Its a fundamental change in the relationship between individual and state. Between doctor and patient.

There are so many concerns to consider.

Also concerns are how this affects public perception and culture. It frames of suffering as optional or something with one solution. Pam Duncan Glancy spoke movingly about how the debate had made her feel, about her self worth and vulnerabilities.

TempestTost · 31/03/2026 18:08

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 11:04

@TempestTost What about a balance?

A grown adult can make a decision for themselves. A baby can't. Suicide attempts can often lead to life long impairments when they go wrong. A dignified and respectful option to die is far more compassionate than forcing someone to risk severe disability where they are dependent on others for the rest of their unwanted lives.

Because "a balance" is just what seems balanced to you, right now.

We are talking about the law. If you introduce a principle, it will ripple through the whole of the law over time.

Adults have a duty of care to minors. If we say that in some cases death is better than suffering it then becomes the obligation of adults to manage those decisions for children. That is why it has become an active question in every place that allows assisted death.

lcakethereforeIam · 31/03/2026 16:37

If PTSD from a rape, sexual assault, and the like causes the victim to get the state to kill them, i'd like to see the perpetrator/s of the original crime tried for manslaughter.

Ponderingwindow · 31/03/2026 16:28

the system absolutely fails people. Hospitals and social services aren’t set up to see individuals. This young woman was failed again and again.

There were likely multiple points in her life where the people who were supposed to help her could have made different decisions. Instead, it helped make her an easy target which made things worse.

the rapes make for a sensational headline, but I doubt they are the whole story.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 15:41

Just like now, where wrong decisions happen and unbearable suffering ensues, because AD is not available.

ArabellaScott · 31/03/2026 15:24

'Fundamentally allowing euthanasia means that some wrong decisions will probably happen.'

Indeed.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 14:32

@ArabellaScott outliers, abuse and unintended consequences definitely need to be considered and the legislation to be written in a way to minimize this as far as is possible.

For terminal illnesses, it seems relatively easy - two separate doctors' permission, one not connected to the organisation carrying out euthanasia. (of course that depends on how the euthanasia possibilities are set up in that particular country, whether it's a separate organisation or whether it's extended within the hospital).

If euthanasia for mental distress was/is permitted then something like a 5 year period between first application and then consent, with interviews by two separate and unconnected psychiatrists seems reasonable (to me, at least). For Dignitas you have to have the two interviews and to have a written report saying that the psychiatric distress is long term, treatments have been attempted and it's incurable.

For extreme long term but not terminal pain, then something like the psychiatric path would also seem a good idea.

The subject of euthanasia like abortion is incredibly complicated and difficult. It's one of the subjects where each individual case is what matters, but we're trying to legislate for an entire society. Fundamentally allowing euthanasia means that some wrong decisions will probably happen. Not allowing it means that some people will suffer extreme pain and a horrible death, the likes of which we'd certainly not allow animals to experience. Honestly, the fact that an active action rather than a passive action is needed to bring death does make a difference here, but I personally think that if a well trained compassionate professional team is willing to do that, then it should be allowed.

ArabellaScott · 31/03/2026 13:51

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 13:30

People attempt suicide usually because of some variety of pain. Those who can; of the three who went for euthanasia that I knew, two were no longer able to attempt suicide because they were in end stage cancer.

Ill leave you to your moral assignations though. I simply think that in a genuinely civilized society, where there really is respect for others, (safeguarded) euthanasia is a compassionate service.

It CAN be a compassionate service. I 100% agree. I support the principle.

Legislation requires consideration of abuse, outliers, unintended consequences.

I am not convinced its possible to introduce AD without also creating a means for control, murder, and even just terrible mistakes.

Some people claim it is worth some people being murdered/killed in error to help alleviate the suffering of others. I am also unconvinced of the morality of that argument.

OtterlyAstounding · 31/03/2026 13:49

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 13:30

People attempt suicide usually because of some variety of pain. Those who can; of the three who went for euthanasia that I knew, two were no longer able to attempt suicide because they were in end stage cancer.

Ill leave you to your moral assignations though. I simply think that in a genuinely civilized society, where there really is respect for others, (safeguarded) euthanasia is a compassionate service.

The people I've known over the course of my life, who have killed themselves, were invariably depressed and usually traumatised. No physical pain, and frequently no real attempt to treat the emotional turmoil they felt. They just bottled things up, and then committed suicide.

So I'm not sure your argument holds up.

As for very controlled euthanasia in a civilised society - perhaps it would have a place. But we don't live in that civilised society.

ArabellaScott · 31/03/2026 13:34

Cailin66 · 31/03/2026 11:11

Thank you. Hopefully I'll never be in the position that it's something that I have to deal with in relation to my children. Not to be too outing, my children have a high percentage risk of a hereditary illness, but it will be in later adulthood. My only hope is that I predecease them because it's unbearable not being able to save them. They each have, so far, chosen not to be tested.

But I have been in situations where euthanasia was warranted and will be forever grateful to the doctors in those situations
(two - immediately family in two different countries, one where it's legal but difficult and one where it's illegal but happens)

and still feel very very upset where doctors were not helpful
(not immediate family and nothing to do with me but it was wrong what happened but doctors are terrified and relations not proactive or just let it up to the 'systems' / 'state' to decide).

For the parents who have to make these decisions, they have my full support and indeed they are very brave and loving parents. These are the most heartbreaking of decisions to make.

Okay, but also :

Abusive parents exist.
Deluded parents exist.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 13:30

People attempt suicide usually because of some variety of pain. Those who can; of the three who went for euthanasia that I knew, two were no longer able to attempt suicide because they were in end stage cancer.

Ill leave you to your moral assignations though. I simply think that in a genuinely civilized society, where there really is respect for others, (safeguarded) euthanasia is a compassionate service.

OtterlyAstounding · 31/03/2026 13:17

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:34

In your opinion. Which seems to have overlooked the face that Noelia did try to commit suicide. You can find moral value in pain if you like. I see it as simply a sensation which has no moral aspect to it. Sometimes it's necessary, like resetting a broken limb. Sometimes it is simply pointless.

I'm not overlooking anything. Plenty of people try more than once, and there are multiple methods available. People manage to kill themselves every day, in fact. So nothing was stopping her from doing it herself, except, one can only assume, that she was afraid (and fair enough). Regardless, I disagree with the notion that a woman demanding the state kill her because she was too afraid to do it herself, is 'brave'.

Suicide itself is not 'brave'.

I ascribe no moral value to pain, and I don't know why you've made that assumption. Although you do seem to ascribe moral value to suicide?

GenderlessVoid · 31/03/2026 13:07

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 13:01

Nonsense. If you really can't see why it's a problem to say that only family/friends can carry out euthanasia, you're not using reason any more.

Anyway to give you just a few reasons

  1. access and training to use to the correct medical equipment and drugs
  2. "my husband/wife/child really wanted to die but the only way to do it was to kill them myself" is a rotten responsibility to place on someone you love. Rotten. If you want to talk about moral bankruptcy, that's it.
  3. Because that really WILL lead to situations where Nephew Reuben bumps off Aunty Matilda for the inheritance.

You still haven't answered why state provision for euthanasia in the case of terminal illness is wrong, at the very easiest of my points. Never mind the one about treating people with respect.

And since you're only posting now to justify your own position and not to engage with my points, goodbye.

Edited

I'm trying to discuss the problems with the state having the power to kill vulnerable people.

It's odd that you worry about family and friends having the incentive to kill off someone but not that the state has similar incentives, no real reason to keep you alive (unlike friends and relatives most of whom presumably value your life), and no consequences for killing you or helping you kill yourself (unlike friends and family).

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 13:01

Nonsense. If you really can't see why it's a problem to say that only family/friends can carry out euthanasia, you're not using reason any more.

Anyway to give you just a few reasons

  1. access and training to use to the correct medical equipment and drugs
  2. "my husband/wife/child really wanted to die but the only way to do it was to kill them myself" is a rotten responsibility to place on someone you love. Rotten. If you want to talk about moral bankruptcy, that's it.
  3. Because that really WILL lead to situations where Nephew Reuben bumps off Aunty Matilda for the inheritance.

You still haven't answered why state provision for euthanasia in the case of terminal illness is wrong, at the very easiest of my points. Never mind the one about treating people with respect.

And since you're only posting now to justify your own position and not to engage with my points, goodbye.

GenderlessVoid · 31/03/2026 12:57

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:55

Oh come on. You know full well why 'friends and family' often can't or won't help with euthanasia. At this point you're being disingenuous.

So you still aren't addressing my issues.

Maybe their friends and family won't help because they think it's wrong. Maybe they have a point.

I don't see how I'm being disingenuous just bc I strongly disagree with you. I'm addressing your concerns. You haven't addressed mine.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:55

GenderlessVoid · 31/03/2026 12:53

But why does the state need to help them? What about their friends and family?

What safeguards will allow the state to help those who cannot kill themselves but only those people? What safeguards will prevent the state from encouraging them to ask for assisted suicide?

Edited

Oh come on. You know full well why 'friends and family' often can't or won't help with euthanasia. At this point you're being disingenuous.

GenderlessVoid · 31/03/2026 12:53

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:50

Please address my concern that by not allowing legislation for euthanasia, that many people who wish to use it cannot access it.

But why does the state need to help them? What about their friends and family?

What safeguards will allow the state to help those who cannot kill themselves but only those people? What safeguards will prevent the state from encouraging them to ask for assisted suicide?

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:50

Please address my concern that by not allowing legislation for euthanasia, that many people who wish to use it cannot access it.

GenderlessVoid · 31/03/2026 12:47

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:41

@GenderlessVoid attempts at suicide very often go wrong https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_attempt

If the state legislates for the provision of effective euthanasia, as in the NL, then the exit from life will be far more effective.

But at no point have you addressed the situation for 98% of people who go for euthanasia, they do so for physical reasons (Nl, again). 86% have terminal illnesses. I don't see any point engaging further with you until you can do this, because it's the core of the issue given the proportions involved.

I don't understand what you think I'm not engaging with.

I know many suicide attempts fail. I know many people who have attempted suicide. A few succeeded but most didn't. I don't think that's a reason for the state to get involved. What other aspect of state assisted suicide do you want me to address?

Please address my concern that the state has a great deal of power to make people's lives miserable and to withhold care and treatment, making more people who see death as preferable to life.

BTW, my own family wants me to continue living. I'm not concerned that they'll push me to die early, as someone (maybe you) speculated above.

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:41

@GenderlessVoid attempts at suicide very often go wrong https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_attempt

If the state legislates for the provision of effective euthanasia, as in the NL, then the exit from life will be far more effective.

But at no point have you addressed the situation for 98% of people who go for euthanasia, they do so for physical reasons (Nl, again). 86% have terminal illnesses. I don't see any point engaging further with you until you can do this, because it's the core of the issue given the proportions involved.

Suicide attempt - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_attempt

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:34

OtterlyAstounding · 31/03/2026 12:23

Children's brains don't develop faster because they suffer trauma and pain.

Although what's at issue here isn't hastening an imminent, terminal death in a cancer patient who is suffering severe pain, but causing death in a person who might otherwise live for many years.

And frankly, suicide is never 'brave' - but as an able-bodied adult, needing the government to do it for you instead of doing the deed yourself, and taking the attitude that you're being 'forced' to stay alive if they don't, is particularly cowardly.

In your opinion. Which seems to have overlooked the face that Noelia did try to commit suicide. You can find moral value in pain if you like. I see it as simply a sensation which has no moral aspect to it. Sometimes it's necessary, like resetting a broken limb. Sometimes it is simply pointless.

GenderlessVoid · 31/03/2026 12:34

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 31/03/2026 12:15

I said above that imo that the people whose voice should have the most weight are the ones who live with that intense, incurable pain. You are one of those, so your view is not (imo) unrealistic. But you have to have seen there are an awful lot of anti-euthanasists who do say "but painkillers will solve the problem". I certainly have.

The fact that medical people are highly dismissive of pain, especially women's pain, is a severe problem and it's clear that for a genuinely civilized society this deeply dismissive attitude should change. If nothing else, because actually even if it were a mental issue, that doesn't make it any the less painful.

About the value of disabled peoples' lives (of whom I am one) - yes, it's seen as less. I can't work either and have been faced with that attitude too. It still comes down to changing societal attitudes and I agree that this is a huge problem in the UK. I don't personally believe that people would be pushed towards euthanasia by the medical / social professions in the way that people fear, in the UK. I'd be more worried that families push older relatives towards it to get the money. How to stop that? I don't know. But if you allow euthanasia as a country, then some injustices will happen. Equally if you don't allow euthanasia some injustices will happen. There's no simple clear easy answer.

It still doesn't alter the fact that "you'll feel better in the future" is often patronizing - people have quoted the Guardian article about the 29 year old Dutch woman who wanted to die because of mental distress as if it's a terrible thing that euthanasia was offered to her. Where is the respect for her, in that? if you read the article she knew exactly what she was doing, and why, and what the prospects for successful treatment were.

In the end, yes, some people may die who would otherwise have lived, and perhaps come to be glad of it. Equally, some may be refused end of life who profoundly long for it, know what they are about and should, in a civilized society, be offered the step out.

In the end it comes down to respecting people's ability to decide their own course of their lives. That respect is at the core of how I believe euthanasia should be handled. "But you might feel better later" regarding mental distress is a good reason to not extend euthanasia for some years perhaps, but after a certain period the consistent, stated desire to die and having gone through all available treatments, then I believe it is right to respect that desire.

It's also extremely cruel to leave people suffering terminal cancer who painkillers can't help to die in great pain. 98% of people in the NL who go for euthanasia go for physical reasons.

I think I've answered you as well as I can. Can you now address my concerns?

Edited

I don't think you've address my issue about the state's power at all.

I'm not sure what your concerns are. Can you state them in bullet point?

I agree that doctor's are dismissive of pain, especially women's and minority groups' pain. It's now considered a "fifth vital sign", which is an improvement from decades ago, but society and medicine still has a long way to go in understanding and treating pain.

To reiterate, I'm not suggesting that we make attempting suicide illegal. People should have that option, though I think society needs to do much more to make people's lives worth living.