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BBC preaches forgiveness for man who murders his partner.

56 replies

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 11:57

What the fuck, BBC?!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cnv6ne1zqyro

We are told a story which could only have been recounted by a man who murdered his partner, which is accepted without question. And then preached at about forgiveness.

This mother can do and say what she wants, I wouldnt presume to censure her. But the BBC has effectively written an apologia for abuse, domestic violence, and murder.

A photo of a blonde woman looking at the camera

What my daughter's murder taught me about forgiveness

The mother of Ann Grosmaire, 19, who was shot dead by her boyfriend, explains why she chose restorative justice.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cnv6ne1zqyro

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Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/03/2026 15:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Without judging a grieving family whose relationships I don’t presume to understand the dynamics of, I’d fucking haunt my mum for eternity if she gave a similar interview about me. I’m not the forgiving type and I certainly wouldn’t want it to be my legacy. I was also in a violent, coercive control relationship when I was (and he was) 19. Luckily I got away.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/03/2026 15:09

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 13:17

Draft complaint, I will.adapt:

Dear BBC Editorial Complaints,

I am writing to complain about the BBC News article concerning the killing of Ann Grosmaire, which centres the narrative of forgiveness expressed by the victim’s parents.

The article’s framing is inappropriate for reporting on a domestic homicide and appears inconsistent with both the BBC’s own Editorial Guidelines and recognised media guidelines on reporting domestic abuse, including those developed by the Level Up campaign.

The piece repeatedly foregrounds forgiveness as the central theme, for example stating that “forgiveness has been the best way for her to find peace” and that “advocating for forgiveness and restorative justice has become her daughter’s legacy.” Presenting forgiveness as the dominant narrative risks implying that forgiveness is the appropriate or morally preferable response to lethal intimate-partner violence. The Level Up guidelines on reporting domestic abuse explicitly caution against framing forgiveness or reconciliation as a model response, as this can place harmful social expectations on victims and bereaved families. Many survivors and families do not forgive perpetrators, and responsible reporting must avoid suggesting that they should.

The article also omits meaningful context about domestic abuse and coercive control, despite the fact that intimate-partner killings frequently occur within patterns of possessiveness, monitoring, intimidation and control. The BBC Editorial Guidelines on Accuracy (Section 3) require that reporting should not materially mislead audiences by omitting relevant context. Without this context, the killing is presented primarily as a story about forgiveness rather than as part of the broader reality of domestic abuse.

In addition, the article devotes space to the perpetrator’s activities in prison and involvement in restorative justice programmes. This risks shifting the narrative focus toward the perpetrator’s rehabilitation rather than the dynamics of violence that led to the killing. The BBC Editorial Guidelines on Harm and Offence (Section 5) require particular care in the framing of violence and distressing events, especially where editorial choices may cause harm or misrepresentation.

Taken together, the article’s framing risks distorting public understanding of domestic abuse and fails to meet recognised standards for responsible reporting on domestic homicide.

I ask that the BBC review this article in light of both the BBC Editorial Guidelines and the Level Up media guidelines on reporting domestic abuse, and ensure that journalists covering intimate-partner violence receive appropriate training in these standards.

Yours sincerely,
[Name]

Really good complaint letter.

lcakethereforeIam · 15/03/2026 15:01

The BBC had another article a few days ago that enraged me. A bloke became a penpal with a man on death row for raping and strangling the woman who was trying to escape him. At the end of the article the bloke described it as something that could happen to anyone, like he'd clumsily knocked a cup of tea over, not violently taken a woman's life. I'm not sure if this article isn't worse.

However, as the BBC essentially mark their own homework (the tiny number of complaints that they uphold is laughable), complaining to them seems a waste of time and enraging.

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 13:18

I've used chatgpt, so will need to check references.

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 13:17

Draft complaint, I will.adapt:

Dear BBC Editorial Complaints,

I am writing to complain about the BBC News article concerning the killing of Ann Grosmaire, which centres the narrative of forgiveness expressed by the victim’s parents.

The article’s framing is inappropriate for reporting on a domestic homicide and appears inconsistent with both the BBC’s own Editorial Guidelines and recognised media guidelines on reporting domestic abuse, including those developed by the Level Up campaign.

The piece repeatedly foregrounds forgiveness as the central theme, for example stating that “forgiveness has been the best way for her to find peace” and that “advocating for forgiveness and restorative justice has become her daughter’s legacy.” Presenting forgiveness as the dominant narrative risks implying that forgiveness is the appropriate or morally preferable response to lethal intimate-partner violence. The Level Up guidelines on reporting domestic abuse explicitly caution against framing forgiveness or reconciliation as a model response, as this can place harmful social expectations on victims and bereaved families. Many survivors and families do not forgive perpetrators, and responsible reporting must avoid suggesting that they should.

The article also omits meaningful context about domestic abuse and coercive control, despite the fact that intimate-partner killings frequently occur within patterns of possessiveness, monitoring, intimidation and control. The BBC Editorial Guidelines on Accuracy (Section 3) require that reporting should not materially mislead audiences by omitting relevant context. Without this context, the killing is presented primarily as a story about forgiveness rather than as part of the broader reality of domestic abuse.

In addition, the article devotes space to the perpetrator’s activities in prison and involvement in restorative justice programmes. This risks shifting the narrative focus toward the perpetrator’s rehabilitation rather than the dynamics of violence that led to the killing. The BBC Editorial Guidelines on Harm and Offence (Section 5) require particular care in the framing of violence and distressing events, especially where editorial choices may cause harm or misrepresentation.

Taken together, the article’s framing risks distorting public understanding of domestic abuse and fails to meet recognised standards for responsible reporting on domestic homicide.

I ask that the BBC review this article in light of both the BBC Editorial Guidelines and the Level Up media guidelines on reporting domestic abuse, and ensure that journalists covering intimate-partner violence receive appropriate training in these standards.

Yours sincerely,
[Name]

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Sskka · 15/03/2026 13:13

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:17

This is presented as a personal interest story but its purpose is about restorative justice and sentencing.

It enrages me when the two get conflated. Forgiveness is for helping the individuals move on. What the state/wider community should do is unaffected by whether the individual forgives or not.

In fact I’d argue that the state must not forgive – it’s even what makes forgiveness a possibility, by keeping responsibility away from the victim. And in any event the state’s duty is to do what’s best for the whole community, not to meet the wishes of victims/families. The whole idea of criminal law being about getting justice for victims is toxic imo.

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 13:05

I have found tge 'Level Up' campaign. Launched on the BBC. So they should know better.

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powershowerforanhour · 15/03/2026 13:05

"Volatile' is so often used to desctibe abusive relationships and imply that both parties are equally to blame."

Absolutely this

Waitwhat23 · 15/03/2026 13:04

'After a three year campaign of domestic violence, I shot and killed my defenseless teenage girlfriend while she was kneeling on the floor. Do you fancy a date with me? I'm a nice guy, honest!'

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 13:03

Is there some kind of scheme for helping reporters to understand how to report on dv?

Grace Dean (she/her) could really benefit from it.

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 13:00

He's already thinking about how he'll explain his history to future prospective partners.

"The Grosmaires have mentioned getting married and starting a family. There's a thought there, but it's kind of awkward. How would you explain that, you know, 'So what happened to your last girlfriend?' Well. " his voice trails off.'

Awkward? Awkward?! Its one word for it

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:56

Thanks to this restorative justice pish, he will be out by the time he's forty.

Let's hope this manipulative, abusive, violent, lying murderer is genuine when he says he's changed, eh?

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:55

'It was one of those things where they just couldn't stop'

They could stop. He could stop. He didnt have to abuse her, control her, coerce her. He didnt have to kill her.

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:53

'In spring 2010, Ann was recognised for her academic achievements at college. She was delighted, and planned a celebratory picnic with her boyfriend.

"Conor just wasn't as excited about it as Ann had hoped he would be," says Kate. '

He was jealous.

"So they started arguing.

"They were both 19. It was one of those things where they just couldn't stop - and they literally argued all night until they fell asleep."
The pair's argument continued into the next day.
At one point, Conor got his father's shotgun and said he was going to kill himself. '

Threat of suicide. Manipulation, coercion, abuse.

'Ann replied that if Connor didn't want to live then she didn't either.'

This is Connor's report, one can only assume.

"And he pointed the gun at her and said, 'Is this what you want?'" Kate explains.
"And she actually said, 'No, I don't'."
But Conor was exhausted from arguing and wanted it all to be over,'

We hear only his point of view. Ann is voiceless. Are we supposed to feel for his 'exhaustion'? He wanted it to be over? Poor him!

What was she feeling? How scared was she? Did she perhaps want it to be over?

'"so he pulled the trigger," Kate says.'

Rest in peace, Ann.

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OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 15/03/2026 12:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Waitwhat23 · 15/03/2026 12:50

As well as the threats of suicide if he didn't get what he wanted.

Classic tactics for a domestic abuser.

That poor lassie. She wasn't safe in her own house.

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:44

'Conor even moved in with the Grosmaires for three months after his own father kicked him out.'

Red flag. Why was he kicked out?

'Ann and Conor's relationship could be volatile'

'Volatile' is so often used to desctibe abusive relationships and imply that both parties are equally to blame.

'- they sometimes argued and even broke up,'

Anyone with informed knowledge of dv recognises this pattern.

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:41

Journlists are practically obliged to ask questions, seek counter views, and do research.

In response to: 'can the BBC just quote another news outlet about that?'

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:40

There is no mention of the abuse, control, and coercion. The murder is presented as an argument that got out of hand, rather than the predictable escalation of a pattern of abuse.

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theilltemperedamateur · 15/03/2026 12:39

I blame the State of Florida. But the BBC was never going to run the story as 'state irrationally used religiosity of victim's parents to justify releasing killer early, possibly to terrorise more women', were they? That would be an opinion piece.

The facts are more or less all there, and readers can draw their own conclusions. Maybe complain that they missed out he had been previously abusive? But can the BBC just quote another news outlet about that?

WaffleParty · 15/03/2026 12:34

Realistically this man was always going to be released because he committed the crime when he was so young.
Surely there’s an argument to be made that it is safer to release him after a programme of rehabilitation and contact with his victim’s family to help him understand the impact of his crime.
I think it’s an interesting article. Interesting to see where grief can take a family and how they can manage to move forward. Interesting too to consider a model for rehabilitation of an offender. I don’t agree that the crime or this man’s behaviour leading up to the crime are trivialised.

Waitwhat23 · 15/03/2026 12:31

So in the three years they were together, he was both physically and emotionally abusive to Ann, sulked when she was praised for her own achievements and when his threat of suicide to force her to come under his will didn't have the desired effect, he shot her while she was kneeling on the floor.

And despite this, his sentence was reduced because her parents forgave him and he was allowed his own choice of prison. And these articles paint him as a thoughtful young man while reducing Ann into a footnote in her own story.

Wow.

ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:18

Its sentimental bullshit to sell the idea that men dont need to be jailed for MVAWG.

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ArabellaScott · 15/03/2026 12:17

This is presented as a personal interest story but its purpose is about restorative justice and sentencing.

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