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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Olivia Colman: “I’ve always described myself to my husband as a gay man.” 🙄

556 replies

NaysayerOrMeanie · 06/02/2026 23:29

Olivia Colman is currently on the press tour for her new film Jimpa and has come out with some absolute corkers in an interview with them "magazine" including:

"Throughout my whole life, I’ve had arguments with people where I've always felt sort of nonbinary. Don’t make that a big sort of title! But I’ve never felt massively feminine in my being female. I’ve always described myself to my husband as a gay man. And he goes, “Yeah, I get that.”"

Which I can only assume means he likes it when she pegs him.

And a dig at some undefined group of naysayers and haters and meanies:

"Most of the actors were from, particularly in the Dutch side of things, from the queer community there; I’ve never been part of a more welcoming group of people. For all those naysayers or haters or meanies, if [only] they could spend the time with the most welcoming, kind bunch of people. I kind of want everyone to just come and say hi and actually feel total love."

Jimpa stars Olivia Colman as Hannah, mother to the non-binary Frances (played by they/them, non-binary, queer, transgender daughter of the film's director, Aud Mason-Hyde) who go to Amsterdam to visit Hannah's gay HIV positive father (John Lithgow, currently simultaneously scorned by the queers for daring to be in the new Harry Potter series, any by the meanies for talking shit about JKR). I'm sure it will be a hoot.

Congratulations Olivia on your brave coming out as a queer, non-binary, gay man, spicy-straight woman. You're so late to the party all the cool kids will find your identity embarrassing now.

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usedtobeaylis · 07/02/2026 20:04

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:46

Interesting post, I want to watch now...

Same!

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:59

usedtobeaylis · 07/02/2026 15:26

Butch?? Olivia Colman?

Yes, I mean she could be if she were lesbian and dressed/acted that way, but clearly she isn't...

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:57

InconvenientlyMaterial · 07/02/2026 15:36

Oh yeah she's totally lovely looking!
Butch women can look great too but I wouldn't class OC as butch in the slightest.

She also doesn't look as if she's had shit done to her face which I appreciate (or rather, didn't look like that in the last thing of hers I watched which TBF isn't current).

Agree but imo 'butch' is more about presentation/behaviour than someone's facial features. Someone could have small, feminine features and still dress/act in a butch way.
But clearly Colman doesn't do this,,nor is she a lesbian- or a gay man, for that matter!

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:54

EasternStandard · 07/02/2026 16:18

I don’t think she looks butch at all. She looks like a woman with short hair. The gay man thing is ridiculous.

Butch women look female generally though.

I agree though that Olivia Colman doesn't seem to present particularly androgynously insofar as clothes etc

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:52

Lottapianos · 07/02/2026 15:28

Ah come on now. I'm sure she's many things but unattractive is not one of them. I think she's stunning actually - I could look at her all day. Shes not 'butch' in the slightest

Butch doesn't equal unattractive, anyway.

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:51

SionnachRuadh · 07/02/2026 15:06

Sometimes the amount of nonsense going round in the culture is hard to keep track of. Especially the stuff that originates in the Very Online bits of American culture and then seeps into the very different British context.

15 years ago I would not have predicted a subculture of gay Jewish nerds pretending to be pagan fascist bodybuilders, but there's no other way to describe the Bronze Age Pervert and his network.

And if the American Right has its quota of gay people pretending to be straight, the American Left has a much bigger quota of straight people pretending to be gay.

And when America sneezes Europe catches cold; and mix that into luvvies' well known propensity for being utterly ridiculous.

I haven't seen anyone being unkind about OC's appearance. She's an attractive woman; if she weren't she wouldn't have been nearly so successful as an actor. She's a very feminine woman. If we're going to define femininity as "looking like Margot Robbie", then hardly any women qualify, probably not even Margot Robbie before she's spent hours in makeup.

The basic problem with actors is that they get their jobs because they're good at pretending. Often the characters they pretend to be have heroic qualities or intellectual depth, and the actors either wish they were like that or believe they actually are like that. George Clooney has spent so many films playing the one honest man standing up to corrupt institutions that I think he's come to believe he is his character. No wonder actors are suckers for con artists like L Ron Hubbard or Gerry Healy.

Great post.

Re this : '15 years ago I would not have predicted a subculture of gay Jewish nerds pretending to be pagan fascist bodybuilders, but there's no other way to describe the Bronze Age Pervert and his network.'

I laughed out loud when Louise Perry had the ridiculous 'domestic extremist' Peachy Keenan on her podcast (she often has interesting guests, but some are not worth it imo) and Keenan praised the strong, handsome, masculinity of Bronze Age Pervert. Perry should have poked this but she's often a pretty unchallenged interviewer.

Is Constantin Alaramiu Jewish? I didn't know that. I definitely agree that he appears to be gay.

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:46

SionnachRuadh · 07/02/2026 17:50

I thought she was great in The Night Manager. I loved the book, but I'd caveat that by saying (i) Le Carre was not very good at writing women - the way he wrote Jed was much more focused on her desirability to men than giving her a personality, and (ii) the male version of Burr was a slightly identikit character, not badly written but nothing he hadn't done a dozen times before. So making Burr a woman added an extra dimension to the story, and OC did it brilliantly.

Interesting post, I want to watch now...

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:45

MinnieCauldwell · 07/02/2026 19:00

The actor John Hurt wanged on about his Irishness, lived there too. Went on Who do You Think You Are, turned out his familiy were all from Croydon.

I think something similar happened with Nigella Lawson when she went on in that she claimed her family were Sephardic Jews, and seemed quite keen on these, but they were actually of Ashkhenazi descent.

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 19:44

TheKeatingFive · 07/02/2026 17:35

I also hated her in The Crown - Claire set that bar so high and she was nowhere near it.

But I loved her in Fleabag, Broadchurch, The Favourite. I think she's versatile though there is a certain OC quality about everything she does (a bit like Emma Thompson in that regard).

I liked her most in Broadchurch. Also like her in Rev. I wonder if it's non-coincidental that I prefer her pre-star work? She was well-known before,, of course, but not to the level she is now

allthingsinmoderation · 07/02/2026 19:06

hartman · 07/02/2026 12:38

The hate on this thread is staggering. OC simply said she doesn't identify as particularly feminine, more as non-binary, why should she police what she says about herself if that's how she feels? Why can't she describe her experience as she experiences it? She's not saying she isn't female, she is saying that femininity isn't a big part of her sense of self, why does that offend people so much?

I don't think it hateful to say i think it nonsense that a female would describe herself as a gay man because gay men are male.

MinnieCauldwell · 07/02/2026 19:00

IloveOwlsandPenguins · 07/02/2026 10:15

This is me 🤣

The sort of English person who is desperate not to be English and considers themself "Celtic" on the basis of vague or imagined family connections to Scotland, Ireland or Wales, or "feeling a spiritual connection".

The actor John Hurt wanged on about his Irishness, lived there too. Went on Who do You Think You Are, turned out his familiy were all from Croydon.

SidewaysOtter · 07/02/2026 18:38

I thought she was OK in The Crown (Claire Foy was perfect as the younger QEII) but she was excellent in The Favourite. I went to see that at the cinema and loved it.

Maryberrysbouffant · 07/02/2026 18:33

ProfessorLeveretGrey · 07/02/2026 07:20

Yeah an aunt of mine (aged 75 and in the 70s was marching for women's rights) recently claimed she now identified as queer and non-binary and would prefer if we used 'they/them for her.

My father said 'For Christ's sake Maureen, you've given birth to two children. If you are confused look inside your pants'.

Honestly if i had known family dinners were going to be so funny i would go more often.

Haha, we need more of these sorts of conversations 😂

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 18:30

hartman · 07/02/2026 12:44

Also the term 'queer' was reclaimed in the 80s and earlier by the LBGT movement eg Queer Nation, not by the trans movement.

Yes, some people did reclaim it back in the 90s when it was still being used as a slur, (see also Queer As Folk over here)- that was more in the US, though. And if it still upsets a lot of people, I don't see why it needs to be reclaimed.

Slothtoes · 07/02/2026 18:28

Oh I really love her as the loathsome sfepmum in Fleabag. She totally steals the show. Why is she is making such a tit of herself now?

I can only hope for her sake that things are so massively PR’ed up the wazoo these days that someone else was paid to draft that offensive crap and Colman was heavily paid to recite it all to journalists who asked?

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 18:18

EscapeTheCastle · 07/02/2026 08:43

Remember folks, actors are only interesting when they are acting. Speaking the screenwriters words and doing what the director tells them to do.

That's not true necessarily. Some, especially character actors imo, can be articulate and interesting in their own right. Not to mention those who direct as well as act, which a lot of directors do.

But I agree that can certainly be the case. I feel like, because she's not conventionally attractive, Olivia Colman is often presented in intelligent roles (which is if course stereotypical) but clearly she's not intelligent in real life (or maybe having a midwife crisis?)

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 18:13

borntobequiet · 07/02/2026 08:20

To me she does what all British “national treasure” thespians do, which is play a thinly disguised version of herself in every role, so while I agree she’s an idiot, I don’t agree that she’s a good actress.

A lot of actors have a preferred type, but I think I agree with you about Colman. Maybe with theatre being less of a thing, this has increased, whereas repertory system used to force more versatility.

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 18:11

KatsPJs · 07/02/2026 08:14

This. I’m a lesbian and I literally couldn’t go to my grandad’s funeral last year as I was concerned for my safety. It’s not a fucking joke and I’m so tired of the bullshit spouted by these people.

That's horrible. 🫂 I understand if you'd rather not say, but was this in UK? I thought most areas were accepting towards gay people now, or at least not likely to be violent. Maybe I'm naive....

Katkins17 · 07/02/2026 18:10

Jeez…. The virtual signalling is so loud I need ear defenders !!!

tone deaf and just plain ridiculous…..it’s as if she truly believes that everyone in the lgbtq+ community are rainbow farting unicorns ….which we know is sooooo far from the truth.

Tonissister · 07/02/2026 18:09

Mistyglade · 06/02/2026 23:55

Good grief she tries hard.

Doesn't she just? God forbid that a woman - a mere woman - could possess any of the nebulous qualities she has that she attributes to being a gay man. No way! She is way more speshul and quote-worthy than that.

Yaaaaawwwwwnnnn.

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 18:08

TheKeatingFive · 07/02/2026 08:02

She's a blithering idiot.

Though some of her acting work is superb.

I find it odd the way actors have been raised up in our society as some kind of moral arbiters. Why?

We don't care what talented footballers or racing car drivers think about anything outside their area. Why would we care about Colman's views?

I think it's partly because publicity for football etc tends to focus specifically on the team/sport. Whereas actors are personalised in a more individual way to try & draw people to the film.

Someone like David Beckham is unusual in football as he deliberately built himself up as a celebrity aside from football & after retirement.

I do like interviews with some actors: Eileen Atkins for one. But some, like Colman, are extremely annoying & should be interviewed as little as possible!

rafeal · 07/02/2026 18:07

FFS Olivia Colman there isn’t a specified set of characteristics that make someone female (other than the blindingly obvious biological ones). And exactly the same applies to men. What about you makes you say you’re more like a gay man than a woman? What characteristics do you have that can’t possibly be attributed to a woman? Way to reinforce damaging stereotypes.

You aren’t so so special and different. I look traditionally feminine but many of my personality traits are those often attributed to men. I’m still a fucking woman. My husband is the definitely the softer, more nurturing one. Can men not be soft and nurturing? Is more like a gay woman?

People have spent decades fighting these stereotypes and it feels so regressive that women and men are being put back in these boxes.

shhblackbag · 07/02/2026 18:04

KittyWilkinson · 07/02/2026 00:53

I really do cringe when straight people use the term queer to make themselves look a bit edgy.
I just want to tell her to get a fucking grip love you're embarrassing to listen to.

What's most embarrassing is that she's probably only saying it as PR for the film. It's so predictable and tedious.

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 18:03

TheActualQueen · 07/02/2026 07:54

Could she physically get more fucking roles?! She’s in EVERYTHING!

Exactly! I think she is very good but sometimes overcast. I don't think she was ideal for The Crown, nor The Lost Daughter.

Carla786 · 07/02/2026 18:02

InconvenientlyMaterial · 07/02/2026 07:33

I love her work too.

It will be interesting to see if she gets more roles because of this. Although her "national treasure" status probably insulates her a bit, it's undoubtedly much harder for women aging in her industry.

So perhaps it was a good move. (Of course it's also mind numbingly thick and homophobic, but I've never understood why the public is so hungry for the opinions of actors on anything other than acting).

Some actors can speak/write well, have an interesting perspective. But I agree that wanting lots of non-acting opinions by default is unhelpful- and leads to this kind if nonsense.