Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Olivia Colman: “I’ve always described myself to my husband as a gay man.” 🙄

556 replies

NaysayerOrMeanie · 06/02/2026 23:29

Olivia Colman is currently on the press tour for her new film Jimpa and has come out with some absolute corkers in an interview with them "magazine" including:

"Throughout my whole life, I’ve had arguments with people where I've always felt sort of nonbinary. Don’t make that a big sort of title! But I’ve never felt massively feminine in my being female. I’ve always described myself to my husband as a gay man. And he goes, “Yeah, I get that.”"

Which I can only assume means he likes it when she pegs him.

And a dig at some undefined group of naysayers and haters and meanies:

"Most of the actors were from, particularly in the Dutch side of things, from the queer community there; I’ve never been part of a more welcoming group of people. For all those naysayers or haters or meanies, if [only] they could spend the time with the most welcoming, kind bunch of people. I kind of want everyone to just come and say hi and actually feel total love."

Jimpa stars Olivia Colman as Hannah, mother to the non-binary Frances (played by they/them, non-binary, queer, transgender daughter of the film's director, Aud Mason-Hyde) who go to Amsterdam to visit Hannah's gay HIV positive father (John Lithgow, currently simultaneously scorned by the queers for daring to be in the new Harry Potter series, any by the meanies for talking shit about JKR). I'm sure it will be a hoot.

Congratulations Olivia on your brave coming out as a queer, non-binary, gay man, spicy-straight woman. You're so late to the party all the cool kids will find your identity embarrassing now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
SternJoyousBeev2 · 08/02/2026 19:21

Americano75 · 08/02/2026 10:42

'I find it so upsetting and so mystifying that there is such hatred towards any group of people. But clearly, hatred can only come from people that just don't know any of these people, because I don't know how you could hate people that are so kind and lovely.'

Oh my actual God. What is she, 5?

its such an insufferably patronising thing to say and attitude to have.

Szygy · 08/02/2026 18:40

FFSMaureen · 08/02/2026 16:15

@Szygy can you remember anything about the title of the thread? I find googling something then 'Mumsnet' takes me to it more easily than searching for it on here.

Sorry everyone - I'm sure I didn’t dream this but I’ve been searching for hours (also trying your suggestion @FFSMaureen) and I can’t find any trace now. Maybe it was deleted….better not say too much under the circs but I’m sure I read something about OC and her husband being patrons (to be clear, not their own charity/company) of a particular charitable foundation, and its donations……as I say, could I really have hallucinated it in so much detail?! Oh well. Apologies if I misled.

WhatterySquash · 08/02/2026 18:39

Quite why we’re supposed to be so fascinated by this average-looking 20-something woman who plays female parts (because, er, she’s a woman?) and is in a heterosexual relationship with a man, but is afforded reverential coverage as she maunders on about the minute shifts in her ‘identity', I'm not quite sure.

This is one of the things about the whole GI situation that I find mindblowing. In a similar way to the males in women's prisons thing, thought that's on a very different level of seriousness. If all you have to do is say you're trans / NB, it has no real definable meaning (other than one based on meaningless terms), and cannot be tested for, how can people not see that OF COURSE people are going to suddenly announce they're NB to get cool points, get roles or jobs, claim oppression, be able to apply for grants and opportunities for "LGBTQ" people or be able to tick-box their own organisation/team/business as "diverse" or "under-represented" without having to actually change anything. OF COURSE THEY ARE! Just like male sex offenders announcing they're women will get them special treatment, an easier life and access to more victims so OF COURSE THEY ARE! How can so many people apparently not figure this out!? Why does anyone take "NB" seriously when it's totally meaningless in itself, and is an obvious grift?

(I do accept some young people will decide they're NB in earnest, via GI indoctrination and their feeling of not fitting in. But in most adults its an OBVIOUS grift IMO.)

Carla786 · 08/02/2026 18:14

InconvenientlyMaterial · 08/02/2026 12:52

It's really insulting. I'm several years younger than OC, yet all my gay male friends have experienced homophobia at some point, despite things undoubtedly improving. None were able to come out until adulthood. Gay men are over represented in suicides I know of too. That's a complex issue so I'm not suggesting a direct cause, but perhaps it points to the fact that the scars from the past run deep.

Show quote history

Yes, the gay male suicide rate is high, especially younger gay men I think. Lesbians and bisexual women and men have a higher rate than average but gay men have the highest.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&rct=j&url=www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/apr/09/suicide-self-harm-risk-lgb-adults-lesbian-gay-bisexual-ons-england-wales%23:~:text%3DAccording%2520to%2520the%2520Office%2520for%2520National%2520Statistics,times%2520higher%2520than%2520for%2520their%2520heterosexual%2520peers.&ved=2ahUKEwjZ58nJv8qSAxW_Q0EAHYeZCFYQ1fkOegQIChAN&opi=89978449&cd&psig=AOvVaw2OyGpFz2AJHs90l8vtQaOZ&ust=1770660783838000

Redirect Notice

https://www.google.com/url?cd=&opi=89978449&psig=AOvVaw2OyGpFz2AJHs90l8vtQaOZ&rct=j&sa=i&source=web&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fuk-news%2F2025%2Fapr%2F09%2Fsuicide-self-harm-risk-lgb-adults-lesbian-gay-bisexual-ons-england-wales%23%3A%7E%3Atext%3DAccording%2520to%2520the%2520Office%2520for%2520National%2520Statistics%2Ctimes%2520higher%2520than%2520for%2520their%2520heterosexual%2520peers.&ust=1770660783838000&ved=2ahUKEwjZ58nJv8qSAxW_Q0EAHYeZCFYQ1fkOegQIChAN

Carla786 · 08/02/2026 18:12

SionnachRuadh · 08/02/2026 10:43

I find the same thing. The Looking Glass War is one of my favourites - it's underappreciated because it's about a doomed mission launched by an incompetent agency, but I like it as a dark comedy because I've worked in organisations exactly like that. But I've never been comfortable with the passages about Avery feeling oppressed by his needy wife, because it's painfully obvious Le Carre wrote it when his first marriage was breaking down.

Adam Sisman's follow up volume to his biography makes it very plain that his female characters were mostly based on whoever his mistress of the moment was. A close reader of the books would probably have guessed that anyway.

Charlie in The Little Drummer Girl is the exception for me, but that's probably because he drew heavily on his sister Charlotte Cornwell (an interesting woman in her own right who's not as well known as she should be) and that gives Charlie three dimensions where most of his women don't get beyond two.

Show quote history

I didn't know that about his sister Charlotte - interesting.

Yes, basing female MCs on mistresses probably isn't ideal for a rounded character.

borntobequiet · 08/02/2026 18:11

Marylou2 · 08/02/2026 18:02

Thanks Olivia. I was feeling bad about your character's demise in the Night Manager until now.

Oh, did she die? Either I missed it or I stopped watching before I got to that bit.

Carla786 · 08/02/2026 18:09

SionnachRuadh · 08/02/2026 10:11

It's the old Dire Straits problem. Mark Knopfler used to base a lot of his songs on ordinary people he encountered. When he became rich and famous, he had a lot less material to work with.

Show quote history

That's a shame...but yes, I can see how that would happen. It's probably better creatively to live a low-key life but the lure of wealth & constant press attention are difficult for many to avoid..

Carla786 · 08/02/2026 18:08

SionnachRuadh · 08/02/2026 10:06

Not one that I would start with, definitely not if you're allergic to slow paced stories as there's about 200 pages of setup before you get into the main story.

The Little Drummer Girl is exceptional in having a female lead. The miniseries with Florence Pugh is excellent.

Show quote history

Aha, I see,,thank you. I will definitely read The Little Drummer Girl. I like Florence Pugh a lot, so looking forward to watching.

Marylou2 · 08/02/2026 18:02

Thanks Olivia. I was feeling bad about your character's demise in the Night Manager until now.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/02/2026 17:56

FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 08/02/2026 17:51

Oh god I forgot non-binary Emma Corrin was gonna be in the new P&P

How can a cast of people who think that the oppression of women is nothing to do with biology but with “identity”, seriously be in a classic novel where the central theme is that a family of 5 children will lose everything they have before long, and have no home to live in, precisely because they were all born female and their male parent dying could destroy their lives if they don’t marry other males?!

Do you think as two educated women, Emma Corrin and Olivia Coleman think that if Jane Bennet had just identified as a man, everything would have been fine and Longbourne wouldn’t have gone to Mr Collins? Because if not then surely they’re completely betraying their belief system?

Judging by their comments, I don’t think either of them have thought about the implications of gender identity ideology all that much.

FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 08/02/2026 17:53

Here’s a list of things I’d rather do than watch the new “diverse and modern” (I’m still reeling from the diverse and modern shitshow that was Netflix’s Persuasion) Emma Corrin and Olivia Coleman P&P:

  1. Watch the absolutely perfect and flawless 1995 BBC version
  2. Watch the (utterly shite and too unlike the book) 2005 Kiera Knightley version
  3. Die
FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 08/02/2026 17:51

Oh god I forgot non-binary Emma Corrin was gonna be in the new P&P

How can a cast of people who think that the oppression of women is nothing to do with biology but with “identity”, seriously be in a classic novel where the central theme is that a family of 5 children will lose everything they have before long, and have no home to live in, precisely because they were all born female and their male parent dying could destroy their lives if they don’t marry other males?!

Do you think as two educated women, Emma Corrin and Olivia Coleman think that if Jane Bennet had just identified as a man, everything would have been fine and Longbourne wouldn’t have gone to Mr Collins? Because if not then surely they’re completely betraying their belief system?

Grammarnut · 08/02/2026 17:26

TalkingintheDark · 08/02/2026 00:54

I thought she was very good in the Night Manager, too. I think it’s the first thing I’ve actually seen with her in, and was well aware of her luvvie “be kind” nonsense, so not that well disposed towards her as a person, but I found her much more watchable than say Emma Thompson - who is always so, so Emma Thompson.

Thank you for your info re the book - it was so bleeding obvious that Jed, and Sophie, were written by a man who doesn’t conceive of women as full human beings, but rather appendages to “real”, ie male, humans, so I wondered if Colman’s role had been written as a man initially and changed for the TV version to a woman, and indeed it was. Le Carré is certainly old school.

Show quote history

So agree with you about Emma Thompson. A real pain.

FFSMaureen · 08/02/2026 16:15

@Szygy can you remember anything about the title of the thread? I find googling something then 'Mumsnet' takes me to it more easily than searching for it on here.

Szygy · 08/02/2026 15:17

I'm trying to find it but I can’t - I'll keep trying!

Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/02/2026 15:10

SirChenjins · 08/02/2026 14:30

Haven’t RTFT but I expect someone has linked to the thread about OC and husband's company?

I don't think so - what's the link?

No, please do @szygy!

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 08/02/2026 15:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

SirChenjins · 08/02/2026 14:30

Haven’t RTFT but I expect someone has linked to the thread about OC and husband's company?

I don't think so - what's the link?

Szygy · 08/02/2026 13:46

I suppose Olivia Colman is a middle-aged woman now so she’s desperate not to fall behind when the likes of Emma 'They/Them' Corrin is lounging around being snapped in their big pants and fangirled (fanthem-ed?) over in today's Observer.

Quite why we’re supposed to be so fascinated by this average-looking 20-something woman who plays female parts (because, er, she’s a woman?) and is in a heterosexual relationship with a man, but is afforded reverential coverage as she maunders on about the minute shifts in her ‘identity', I'm not quite sure. But it’s maybe got Olivia worried the bandwagon may move on without her.

PS Haven’t RTFT but I expect someone has linked to the thread about OC and husband's company?

InconvenientlyMaterial · 08/02/2026 12:52

FranticFrankie · 08/02/2026 11:26

If i described myself as a 'gay man' DH would book me in with the doctor
If I told him I described myself as a gerbil he'd probably say 'crack on love '

How come OC's husband said ' I get that'
Is he as daft as she is??
Quite insulting to gay men actually

It's really insulting. I'm several years younger than OC, yet all my gay male friends have experienced homophobia at some point, despite things undoubtedly improving. None were able to come out until adulthood. Gay men are over represented in suicides I know of too. That's a complex issue so I'm not suggesting a direct cause, but perhaps it points to the fact that the scars from the past run deep.

Americano75 · 08/02/2026 11:54

Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/02/2026 10:49

How about the hatred towards women who need female only spaces, Olivia? Is that upsetting and mystifying too?

Show quote history

Exactly. She's an idiot.

FranticFrankie · 08/02/2026 11:26

If i described myself as a 'gay man' DH would book me in with the doctor
If I told him I described myself as a gerbil he'd probably say 'crack on love '

How come OC's husband said ' I get that'
Is he as daft as she is??
Quite insulting to gay men actually

FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 08/02/2026 11:12

She just “doesn’t understand” why women don’t want predatory men in their safe spaces.

Poor Olivia, must be a hard life being so easily confused

Ereshkigalangcleg · 08/02/2026 10:49

Americano75 · 08/02/2026 10:42

'I find it so upsetting and so mystifying that there is such hatred towards any group of people. But clearly, hatred can only come from people that just don't know any of these people, because I don't know how you could hate people that are so kind and lovely.'

Oh my actual God. What is she, 5?

How about the hatred towards women who need female only spaces, Olivia? Is that upsetting and mystifying too?