Olivia Colman: “I’ve always described myself to my husband as a gay man.” 🙄

She’s too ridiculous to hate.

Its brain dead 'thinking'.

"Everyone should just be able to do whatever they feel - you do you!

(Women point out how this behaviour is systematically damaging to them as a sex class)

"Ooh you're all hateful meanies"

Hate is another one of those words like transphobia that has been debased by it being flung at everything that isn't agreement.

no one here hates OC, we don't know her. No one here hates her views they just find them idiotic/facile/insulting/asinine - take your pick

Or if she said she didn't feel particularly white and therefore identifies as black.

That worked well for Rachel Dolezal, didn't it?

It's not hate. It's being fed up of gender stereotypes and regressive casual homophobia. .

Do we need your permission to express this view?

No.

I think she's just picking up the kind of language and use that are around now. It's not in any way deep or thoughtful, it's rather silly, but I'd hesitate to call it offensive.

I have noticed a really marked increase in stereotyped descriptions in pop culture, and not just about sex, or sexuality, but also about race and ethnicity. There are whole series of reels for example on things like "How black people vs white people go to a PTA meeting," or "how Middle Eastern mothers deal with tradesmen" and things along those lines.

Which I remember being predicted when identity politics started to take over the discourse, and I guess it's totally logical that if you believe that kind of ideology, that is where it would lead you.

We can accept she believes it while also calling it out for being silly sexist claptrap.

This is a feminist discussion board. Pointing out when something is silly sexist claptrap is very ok here. Kind of expected in fact.

"I've always described myself to my husband as a gay man"

Define 'feminine'.
( To give you a clue, I'm feminine because I'm a female).

Why would anyone think being female and not conforming to gender stereotypes means you should describe yourself as a gay man?

Thank you. Yes. Being a gay man is a material reality, not a feeling. A material reality she has zero experience of, she necessarily can never have any experience of.

Of course she, like anyone else, is entitled to feel whatever she likes, but the terminology she’s used here is so lazy, reductive and plain inaccurate.

It’s not just meaningless shite; it’s homophobic, misogynistic meaningless shite.

Totally boring

But she hasn't said that she, or anyone else, is 'not a woman'. She is saying something about not feeling 'massively feminine'. Surely we can accept that for some women, feeling 'feminine', whatever that may mean for them, is more a part of their identity than for others?

'Hate' where?!

She should keep her silly ideas to herself, I'm sure gay men find her comments ridiculous.

What's that expression about staying silent and being thought a fool or speaking and removing all doubt or similar.

Presumably you'd be equally ok if she said she didn't identify as particularly British, didn't feel much in common eith British people and actually thinks she is more like a Chinese person?

Is she not being insulting to gay men by saying this? Is she not reinforcing a stereotype of gay men? Isn't it the same as a man saying he feels like a woman ? 🤷‍♀️

And presumably you'd say the same about race? No harm in a person of one race saying in an interview they feel like a different race?

The thing is, there's a very interesting conversation to have about whether people from groups who are not the culturally dominant one actually do sort-of know what it's like to be the dominant group, simply because so much of our culture is written from that perspective that we all somewhat internalise that voice.

The (in our culture) "I" perspective is so often that of the white upper middle class male. Everyone is gets a "you" perspective in that their portrayal in culture is provided for them by the WUMCM not their own voice.

So the narrative voice we are invited to identify with in books, films and commentary and the "objective" perspective we are expected to take in observing and planning serve to put our minds in the habit of "thinking like a WUMCM".

As the old saying goes, the servants know all about the master and the master knows nothing about the servants.

But that, of course, is a million miles away from OC's trite comments. She's just adopting one of society's other "you" stories.

Then you should report those posts to MNHQ - i must have missed them. Again, disagreement is not hate.

The logic is thus:

I am a woman.
Olivia is a woman.
She thinks she's like a man because she's not a stereotypical woman.
I do not conform to the stereotypes either.
Therefore she must consider that I, too, am not a woman.

This is why NB/'Im like a man, me' is harmful bollocks.
Why cant we just be non stereotypical women?

I have read it. And much of it is full of hate.

Read the thread.

How has she reduced you to a stereotype?

There's no 'hate' - just women describing, many times, why they don't like being reduced to a stereotype.

Disagreement is not 'hate'. You've just outed yourself as being about 12. But you've just bought into the trope that women must be nice and kind and not disagree with anyone, otherwise we're hateful. Ironically doing the very thing that some of us here have been criticising.

Maybe read the thread, then you might gain more understanding?

She can describe herself how she likes; others can comment on that - do you see how it works?

There is no requirement for people to universally approve of other people's choices.

Edit to add: And no one has mentioned 'being offended'. Disagreement is not 'offence' either.

Dear God, get yourself a dictionary.

Because it's complete rubbish, that's why. She is female, there is no ' 1 way to be feminine' template. Mincing around in stilettos and wearing a frilly dress is no more feminine than wearing jeans and a t shirt. Being female is what matters. I.e biology. It's why we are in the ridiculous situation of men thinking they become women via the stereotypical dress and high heels method. I thought we had got past that stuff when I was young in the 70s, but clearly every generation has to find out anew.

I think hate is a pretty strong (and overused on the internet) word. Yes, of course she’s allowed to express her feelings. And of course people allowed to express their feelings that they think what she said is a bit dickish. None of it is hate, it’s only opinion.

Also the term 'queer' was reclaimed in the 80s and earlier by the LBGT movement eg Queer Nation, not by the trans movement.