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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Has anyone left their spouse over GC views / pro-Islam stance

336 replies

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 13:47

Husband and I could never find common ground on gender critical views and his blindness to the harms of Islam to women. He has an inability to take in information that contradicts his world view. Has anyone left a spouse over this?

OP posts:
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ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 20:06

JLou08 · 25/12/2025 18:08

No. Me and DH have opposite views on both topics. These things are rarely black and white. I think you'd need to be really lacking in critical thinking and probably quite arrogant to be unable to accept other have different views.

When it comes to the vital issue of WOMENS RIGHTS, it IS by necessity, and design, black and white. You either believe women deserve rights (OP) or you don't (OP's husband). Being with someone who doesn't believe the female sex class deserve safety, privacy and dignity would be a deal-breaker to most people with a modicum of critical thinking.

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 20:04

PollyNomial · 25/12/2025 20:03

He sounds more liberal and so less likely to indoctrinate one way or the other.

No, he sounds more conservative and misogynist and chauvinist, and hence will indoctrinate that poor girl to think she has no rights to a female only space to change or go to the toilet. He's a dangerous misogynist bigot.

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 20:03

Judgejudysno1fan · 25/12/2025 18:06

Tell me the western values that dont go with burka. What about freedom and a lady wearing what she chooses. Yes, you might not see her face. But I dont think anyone died on the spot because they couldn't see a woman covering ups face.
I personally wouldn't want to wear the burka. Its not just for me but if my fellow sister wanted to wear it and that's her choice, do I really care, is my life affected by it, am I going to lose money or win money...no.

I think you need to work on why youre so upset with hijab not why women wear it. I wear it and it was my choice to wear one year after reverting to islam. I wish I wore it sooner. I feel free and liberated.and I can show my hair to any woman I want to in privacy. All women are beautiful and unique in their own way and ig they dont want men looking at their hair, then they are free to cover it. The bible says cover your hair or shave it off in the old Testament.

Wearing the burqa is about preserving a woman's 'honor', as if being fully covered does that. But men don't need to be fully covered. That there, is the sexism, the misogyny, and how it's out of touch with western values.

And the difference is the New Testament over-rides the Old Testament. We don't live by the Old Testament. Christianity has changed. Islam, has not.

PollyNomial · 25/12/2025 20:03

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:47

Just be careful of your daughter spending too much time with him and being indoctrinated by him if he wants 50-50.

He sounds more liberal and so less likely to indoctrinate one way or the other.

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:59

BruisedPear · 25/12/2025 17:50

I’m actually embarrassed for you OP.
You sound chronically online and distressed over made up scenarios involving Muslims.

The hijab is optional.

A lot of Muslim women don’t wear the hijab so you wouldn’t know they’re Muslim unless they told you.

What about Jewish women or nuns?

Go outside and touch some grass. It’s Christmas Day.

The hijab is optional? Tell that to 6 year old girls covered in head to toe at primary school on a hot summer's day. The 6 year old isn't the one who choses to be completely covered when the rest of her female classmates aren't, is she? I think you have a naive and romanticised idea in your head. I've seen 5 and 6 year old girls in hijab. Do you genuinely think they made that choice?

I've seem Muslim women completely covered in thick clothing on the beach on a scorching hot day, and the husband is in the water with their children. She is sitting completely covered in black thick clothes on the sand. Are you really asking us to believe she chooses that, and not to be in the water, too?

soupyspoon · 25/12/2025 19:55

friendlylurker · 25/12/2025 16:31

Its not ironic, its the truth. She's getting worked up over imaginary scenarios and generalising the people who live in her neighborhood.

Like I said, people have more going on in their brains than what their neighbors wear or do not wear.

You talk of OPs prejudice but say none of the boys in the neighbourhood, the Muslim boys would 'want' her daughter, why?

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:54

Judgejudysno1fan · 25/12/2025 17:36

Op, if you have issued with hijab its quite possible that your great grandmother wore one.
We are not forced to wear one. The quran says there is no compulsion and no forcing in islam.
Men are also required not to show their stomach or wear shorts that go above the knee. Men also are not allowed to wear gold, red and silk. But I can wear gold, red and silk should I wish too.
I also have the rights to all my husbands money and not have to work and he has zero access to my money.

The quran says there is no compulsion and no forcing in islam.

That's not what Islamic scholars say...

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:53

Judgejudysno1fan · 25/12/2025 17:34

Get a grip, love. Im muslim and we dont call women who dnt wear hijab haram, come on. Its important in our faith yes, but doesn't mean that because my non Muslim family and friends dont wear then I then think they're utter scum.

Women have rights in islam.and men and women are equal.
Women were given the right to vote 1400 years avo and great Britain only allowed the women of this country to vote only what 80/90 years ago because we didn't have the same brain to vote as a man and we're arrested for wanting to vote

Whatever pigs in Afghanistan or wherever view woman as less and prohibit them from getting a job or education has nothing to do with the rest of us. They are slimeballs and thats a fact.

So it's not true then, that per your own Quran, a woman's testimony is worth only half a man's?

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:51

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ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:47

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 16:55

Thank you for that. I plan to serve the divorce papers. It's just unfortunate.

Just be careful of your daughter spending too much time with him and being indoctrinated by him if he wants 50-50.

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:45

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 25/12/2025 19:43

Where have they even suggested that?!

They only mentioned 'anti trans' activist. They didn't mention anti women activist, so it seems rather telling to me. And I wondered why.

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:45

friendlylurker · 25/12/2025 16:31

Its not ironic, its the truth. She's getting worked up over imaginary scenarios and generalising the people who live in her neighborhood.

Like I said, people have more going on in their brains than what their neighbors wear or do not wear.

How do you know they wouldn't want her daughter? Is that an admission that they won't date a non-Muslim girl?

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 25/12/2025 19:43

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:31

b) started being some kind of anti trans activist I would leave.

Yet if he became some kind of anti women activist you would stay?

Where have they even suggested that?!

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:31

nameobsessed · 25/12/2025 14:17

If a partner became actively Islamophobic (or any other phobic for that matter) I would leave in a heartbeat, same for friends or relatives- I have no time for intolerance of any kind. I would also leave if a partner was misogynistic, regardless of their religion/cultural beliefs.

GC views are a bit more complicated. I wouldn’t leave over the views themselves but if they a) went on about it or b) started being some kind of anti trans activist I would leave.

Thankfully not an issue as my partner is lovely, but others around me have been faced with this situation.

b) started being some kind of anti trans activist I would leave.

Yet if he became some kind of anti women activist you would stay?

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 19:29

OP, has he not seen how women are treated in Talibanic Afghanistan? Has he not thought how he'd feel if his daughter was upset at seeing a male, even a fully intact male at that, in the women and girls change rooms and toilets? He is full of Male Privilege and cannot see the privilege his oppressor and predator sex class has. Yes, I would absolutely leave him. Womens rights are so vital to me, it is a deal breaker. The fact that he has no respect for how vulnerable women and girls are, and no respect for our needs for privacy and dignity, show him to be a horrible man.

KitWyn · 25/12/2025 19:06

TempestTost · 25/12/2025 18:43

Men are obliged to dress modestly in Islam as well. They don't cover their hair, but is that really important? No one seems to freak out that Sikh women don't wear turbans.

It's not the same burden at all. The majority of UK Muslim men dress the same way as other men. But the women, by being required to wear the hijab, are very clearly identifying themselves as Muslim. They look different to other women.

It is sadly common in many areas of London to see Muslim men in western attire, such as jeans & t-shirts, with their wives wearing a full face-covering burqa. Here, the unfairness to Muslim women is dialled up to the maximum.

DollarsSign · 25/12/2025 18:54

BruisedPear · 25/12/2025 17:50

I’m actually embarrassed for you OP.
You sound chronically online and distressed over made up scenarios involving Muslims.

The hijab is optional.

A lot of Muslim women don’t wear the hijab so you wouldn’t know they’re Muslim unless they told you.

What about Jewish women or nuns?

Go outside and touch some grass. It’s Christmas Day.

TBH I don’t know about hijab being optional. If you’re from a conservative Muslim family, then ‘optional’ probably means being shunned. It’s seen as immodest by many people.

Even growing up with a (Pentecostal) Christian non-white mother, I was called a prostitution for wearing a modest crop top and having boys who were my friends at school. It’s going to be the same or worse for some Muslim women, depending on the culture and version of Islam they follow.

I disagree with most of OP’s generalisations and fear over Muslims, though.

Cheese55 · 25/12/2025 18:47

panachronic · 25/12/2025 17:12

They don't care.

I think the point is they see her as lesser because she is not 'modest' .

brightbevs · 25/12/2025 18:46

Don’t know where OP is from but I know Sheffield is known as a city of sanctuary, amongst others in the UK.

I could be with someone who had different views as long as they weren’t an extremist. You sound very intolerant, and bordering on extreme in your views.

Not wanting your child to be friends with a Muslim is not ok. Also, men and women are both subject to rules about the way that they dress and what should be covered. Women are not considered less than.

TempestTost · 25/12/2025 18:43

KitWyn · 25/12/2025 18:33

Judgejudysno1fan · Today 17:36
Op, if you have issued with hijab its quite possible that your great grandmother wore one.
We are not forced to wear one. The quran says there is no compulsion and no forcing in islam.

Only women are required to cover their hair in Islam, never men. Of course it's sexist. Mainstream Judaism dropped the wigs and headscarves about a century ago.

Virtually 100% of respected Islamic religious scholars outside of developed western countries, state that 'their' women MUST cover their hair in public. Veiling is a requirement of being a good Muslim woman. There is no choice.

I'd be delighted to be given evidence that this is wrong or changing.

Edited

Men are obliged to dress modestly in Islam as well. They don't cover their hair, but is that really important? No one seems to freak out that Sikh women don't wear turbans.

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 18:39

Judgejudysno1fan · 25/12/2025 18:06

Tell me the western values that dont go with burka. What about freedom and a lady wearing what she chooses. Yes, you might not see her face. But I dont think anyone died on the spot because they couldn't see a woman covering ups face.
I personally wouldn't want to wear the burka. Its not just for me but if my fellow sister wanted to wear it and that's her choice, do I really care, is my life affected by it, am I going to lose money or win money...no.

I think you need to work on why youre so upset with hijab not why women wear it. I wear it and it was my choice to wear one year after reverting to islam. I wish I wore it sooner. I feel free and liberated.and I can show my hair to any woman I want to in privacy. All women are beautiful and unique in their own way and ig they dont want men looking at their hair, then they are free to cover it. The bible says cover your hair or shave it off in the old Testament.

I find that it normalizes the subjugation of women and places the responsibility for how men react to female presence on women.

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 25/12/2025 18:38

are you against all religions?

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 18:37

Bobbymoore123 · 25/12/2025 18:35

This sounds very made-up...

How so?

OP posts:
Bobbymoore123 · 25/12/2025 18:35

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 14:14

More information: I am gender critical, he is deep in the red/green alliance / pro-Palestine activism. We live in a sanctuary city in an area where hijabs are everywhere. I have a difficult time explaining it to our daughter in a balanced way.

This sounds very made-up...

KitWyn · 25/12/2025 18:33

Judgejudysno1fan · Today 17:36
Op, if you have issued with hijab its quite possible that your great grandmother wore one.
We are not forced to wear one. The quran says there is no compulsion and no forcing in islam.

Only women are required to cover their hair in Islam, never men. Of course it's sexist. Mainstream Judaism dropped the wigs and headscarves about a century ago.

Virtually 100% of respected Islamic religious scholars outside of developed western countries, state that 'their' women MUST cover their hair in public. Veiling is a requirement of being a good Muslim woman. There is no choice.

I'd be delighted to be given evidence that this is wrong or changing.

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