Page 13 | Has anyone left their spouse over GC views / pro-Islam stance

PinkTreeFrog · 2025-12-25T13:47:25+00:00

Husband and I could never find common ground on gender critical views and his blindness to the harms of Islam to women. He has an inability to take in information that contradicts his world view. Has anyone left a spouse over this?

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 15:13

RedTagAlan · 25/12/2025 15:12

So if you see Ilhan Omar on tv, do you assume her DH makes her dress as she does ?

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I am deeply unsettled by the headscarf no matter the context.

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RedTagAlan · 25/12/2025 15:12

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 15:09

When I see the covered women in our neighborhood I am deeply concerned and do make generalizations about boys/men raised in a religion that promotes and often enforces this. If their family members must wear hijab, how do they feel about my daughter wearing her normal western attire?

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So if you see Ilhan Omar on tv, do you assume her DH makes her dress as she does ?

ThePeachHiker · 25/12/2025 15:10

I’m from a 50/50 family in a Northern city where there is a large Islamic community. I find it really sad that is how you view us. Our community is generally 3rd/4th generation immigrants. Most men here don’t care about head coverings and certainly wouldn’t consider women who don’t wear a covering haram. Do you ever spend time with Muslims or are you just making assumptions?
what is a sanctuary city?

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 15:09

Frogbear · 25/12/2025 15:02

How do I communicate that the boys are not potential friends or future suitors? That they view her uncovered hair as haram?

Again, you’re making a sweeping generalisation about Muslim men and boys. Treating them as if they’re incapable of respectful, normal interaction with women is both inaccurate and harmful.

It’s that kind of thinking that reinforces division and mistrust.

When I see the covered women in our neighborhood I am deeply concerned and do make generalizations about boys/men raised in a religion that promotes and often enforces this. If their family members must wear hijab, how do they feel about my daughter wearing her normal western attire?

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itsthetea · 25/12/2025 15:05

That’s a strangely specific , yet diverse and yet short set of reasons to fall out with someone

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 15:02

soupyspoon · 25/12/2025 15:00

You dont have to be Muslim to have views like this. My OH is full on pro palestinian, so left wing that he's all the way round to right wing. But cant really see it.

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That's an interesting way to phrase it: he's gone full circle.

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Frogbear · 25/12/2025 15:02

How do I communicate that the boys are not potential friends or future suitors? That they view her uncovered hair as haram?

Again, you’re making a sweeping generalisation about Muslim men and boys. Treating them as if they’re incapable of respectful, normal interaction with women is both inaccurate and harmful.

It’s that kind of thinking that reinforces division and mistrust.

RedTagAlan · 25/12/2025 15:01

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 14:56

You don't think that it's necessary for a couple to grapple with differing values? I have a hard time sharing a life with someone that holds antithetical views.

Depends, I would have thought.

Do the Overton windows overlap at all ?

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 15:01

That's an interesting way to phrase it: he's gone full circle.

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TidyDancer · 25/12/2025 15:00

I don’t think I could stay with a partner who believed in gender ideology. That type of regressive belief system seeps into so much else attitude-wise.

soupyspoon · 25/12/2025 15:00

Judgejudysno1fan · 25/12/2025 13:55

Is he muslim?

You dont have to be Muslim to have views like this. My OH is full on pro palestinian, so left wing that he's all the way round to right wing. But cant really see it.

Frogbear · 25/12/2025 14:58

I understand that in some contexts women are treated unfairly, and that should absolutely be criticised. But saying that wearing the hijab automatically means women are worth less than men is a huge generalisation and doesn’t reflect the reality I see.

I personally know many hijab-wearing women who are respected, educated, financially independent, and treated no less favourably than their male family members. For them, the hijab is a choice tied to faith and identity, not a symbol of inferiority.

The generalisation in your viewpoint is actually quite damaging too.

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 14:56

You don't think that it's necessary for a couple to grapple with differing values? I have a hard time sharing a life with someone that holds antithetical views.

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Holluschickie · 25/12/2025 14:53

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What does he say when you say this?
Are there conservative Muslim boys lining up to court or befriend your daughter? I am just puzzled as to how this affects your daily life.
But I think you don't respect him any more, so by all means serve divorce papers.

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 14:53

I would be concerned if they are raised in a family that devalues women and girls.

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RedTagAlan · 25/12/2025 14:52

When you say you live in a sanctuary city, do you think that's a bad thing ?

I ask, because if you say yes, does that mean you are a Trump supporter, and he is a dem ?

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 14:52

We've had many grown-up discussions. We are separated. I am wondering if there are other women out there who have left their spouses over incompatible views that were not apparent at the point of marriage? It seems that the past decade has normalied a number of views that are harmful to women and I'd like to hear how some are adapting. I am adapting by separation and likely divorce.

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goodwinter · 25/12/2025 14:49

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Why would the Muslim boys not be potential friends to your daughter? Surely she can decide that for herself? Just because someone is born into a religious family doesn’t mean they share all those beliefs.

PickAChew · 25/12/2025 14:49

Surely it's irrelevant what views each of you have on these issues or any others. If they're incompatible and you can't have a grown up discussion then it adds a strain to your relationship.

Greyskybluesky · 25/12/2025 14:47

No. It is not odd.

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 14:47

Can you clarify what this means?

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mumofoneAloneandwell · 25/12/2025 14:46

💐 (sarcastic)

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 14:44

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Holluschickie · 25/12/2025 14:41

I think you likely have other problems than a theoretical discussion of Islam, if neither of you are Muslim. ( still unclear if he is or not). It's quite odd.

Original poster

PinkTreeFrog · 25/12/2025 14:35

Yes. I think that Islam harms women, I want to include that in the discussion about the many hijabs we see around us. I am also gender critical and find his middling position to be unsatisfactory - particularly as the father of a daughter. We have been separated for awhile over frequent conflicts and I am at the point of serving papers. Just seeing if I am alone in this.

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