Teen threw out Harry Potter books. Help me form points for discussion please

I would read very carefully as your relationship is the most precious thing here. It is all about tone which is difficult to express in words on a page. I would try to express it as ‘You absolutely loved those books. It is horrible to feel someone we admired is less than we thought they were. But I think she has been a bit maligned - let’s look at what she said and why she said it’. But very gently.

Oh bloomin heck… no teen wants a “points of discussion” chat with their parent

just say you’re pissed at the waste as it could have gone to charity

I'd ignore it

Most tweens/teens have grown out of hp by the time they get to secondary education, it's widely regarded as cringe

From another angle, I would make the point about separating the artist from their work.

Teen rebels against parent. Standard behavior.
She is forming her own views as a young adult , she may or may not continue to hold those views, but you didn't need to convince her otherwise , she's growing up.
Me and my teenagers held very different views as teenagers in many different issues, not so much now they're adults

Yes, ask them what JKR has said or done which makes her transphobic; ask them whether they have read her essay. Show that you are very willing to have a grown up conversation about this but equally that you expect DC to show that they have done an appropriate level of critical thinking of their own on the subject and haven’t just hopped on to a bandwagon without doing their own research. I can respect a well considered, well researched and well supported point of view but have no time for the “because TikTok says so” shite.

JKR’s recent response to Emma Watson is also worth considering: it’s very easy for privileged young women to have a position like Watson’s on this topic because their needs for single sex spaces are well protected.

I hope your teen paid for the books they have thrown out? Because otherwise, on a practical level, that would be an issue for me!

No one listens to someone who has not listened to them and understood them.

You need to sit down snd really listen to their point of view. And listen to really understand it and take it seriously. Ask clarifying questions to show you are really seeking to understand. Summarize their view to show you are checking their understanding. Find the areas you have common ground with your child’s view. Only then can you gently start to ask questions to get them to question their own thinking.

At the end of the day, they are entitled to their own point of view. And as teens, acceptance by their peers and ‘fitting in’ will be their main driver. Trying to get them to hold adopt at view that is actively opposed by their friendship group, and could get them kicked out of it is a big ask. being friendless and ostracized and bullied at that age is very damaging. its a big ask to go against your peers at that age.

You could even try a different angle and have conversations about how to handle it of you have different views from your peers ( I’ve told my eldest to just keep quiet about his sex realist views, unless his friends express similar views. He can choose to go his own path when he is older)

That’s what I do sadly. I just can’t cope with the aggravation and upset.

I would ask your teen to read JKR’s essay on the subject, and have a respectful discussion about it.

I’ve passed this on to a few people I know who had joined the bandwagon of JKR hate without even knowing what she’d said. All responded with “Oh, was that it?”

Get the original essay so they can see its refering to single sex spaces in particular vulnerable circumstances not saying its all evil.

And big up her philanthropic work.

I would just leave it, let your children make their own decisions about things. If you try to change their mind you could alienate yourself from them further

This brainwashing is truly terrifying. One of my children who lived her books growing up is so vitriolic about her it’s really upsetting.

I would put it back on her and ask what JKR has said which is transphobic.