Teen threw out Harry Potter books. Help me form points for discussion please

If you read the OP again, you'll see her arguments are already solid. No one can change sex. However it seems that basic, common sense reasoning is not always effective on this topic, with this generation.

well I'd assume OPs are too but she still had to ask what her own arguments are

Giving relevant information isn't interfering. They will need such information to make up their minds. Leaving them unprotected against gender woo is poor parenting.

Well she's come to her conclusions. Surely they are evidenced, no?

What’s stopping the dd gathering her own info ? As per those that’s told her of the evilness of JKR? This is the problem… the “awww bless, they’re so young, they should totally be lauded and praised for having such viewpoints, but held to no accountability for
anything…”

Bit unfair to put her on the spot like that when OP has had to ask a forum to compile her own thoughts.

Love this @andIsaid !! Absolutely going to use this if needed!

I offered mine money (a decent amount) if she could point to the hateful, harmful or hurtful comments made by JKR.

It could only be original source though -- not anything someone said she said.

My offer was confidentially made, and just enough to make her really want it, and make it seem in reach.

Needless to say, I still have my money, and an un - brainwashed teen!

She.

I have had a fair amount of success with talking about things as trends/commenting on the way that things are reported on social media/commenting on fans e.g. why the antipathy towards this (female) author, when there are loads of authors whose views we don’t know? And where has the trans movement come from, when it didn’t exist 20 years ago?

JKR spent many years being a saintly & mostly silent figure for readers - the level of adoration, obsession & dependence by Harry Potter fans was off the scale. And the present hostility is off the scale. In a way it had to come to this almost as a result of her audience growing up.

(The themes are still pretty relevant: Harry suffers because he can’t tell lies that please his teacher; it’s much more difficult to stand up to your friends than to your enemies).

I’d save the books. I have a family member who went through this stage for several years. She’s now had her eyes opened and has completely changed her view and is grateful her mum saved her beloved HP books. When this comes up amongst friends I always firstly ask if they’ve read JK’s essay. They never have. I then politely say there’s not much point discussing it then.

I would also have a general conversation about art and artist. They are not the same thing. If your child refuses to read books by authors who have said or done things she disagrees with, she will have to get rid of a lot of her books. Same for photographs, paintings, songs or any other piece of art. A lot of artists were/are selfish people. Where does she draw the line? Is she happy to read books by an author who votes for a different political party than the one she supports?

She’s rebelling from you.. The quickest way to change her mind would be to agree with her.

I wouldn’t worry too much, it sounds a very normal teenage thing. At exactly the same age I suddenly decided all my ABBA cassettes were no longer cool and binned them (Adam and the Ants fans looked down at ABBA fans at my school). My mum was very cross at the waste of money and pointed out someone else might have liked them if I didn’t want them any more. Of course I bloody love ABBA again now i am menopausal don’t give a shit about being cool.

i get the concern about countering messages your daughter may be hearing at school, but I would go with the message that it’s perfectly fine for tastes to change but throwing away books is never a good thing. I don’t think you can ever overreact to the binning of a perfectly good book!

Ahaparenting.com has great ideas for active listening, supporting and coaching teens.

100%

Its just another 'no debate' scare tactic - disagreement will 'destroy' the relationship and teens risk suicide if they're not affirmed. More attempts to make the holy state of trans a sacred position nobody can question.

That said, there is a risk of children who have been groomed being encouraged to distance themselves from family.

So I suggest calm Socratic questions and lots of active listening, as well as connection in general, are best to maintain a healthy relationship.

Yep, my teen family members and the majority of their cohort think all the attention seeking “trans teens” are pathetic losers and ridiculous. They all feel quite sorry for them, so last season…

This, absolutely bored by this lot of unintelligent bandwagon jumpers. Tell her if she’s so anti women like JKR, she can say goodbye to being funded by you. Arrogant little sods.

Rip her a new what?

I’d stick with this line - no point in going further and arguing the toss.

I’m just reposting this because it sounds like I’m advising not discussing it with her at all and that wasn’t quite what I meant.

I still don’t think there’s any point trying to trade debating points with her because she’s almost certainly arguing from a position of emotion rather than reason. I doubt she’d either listen or read JKR’s essay at this point. But I would make it clear to your teen that you disagree about JKR and that you’ll be happy to present the counter arguments and facts whenever she’s ready to hear them. And then I’d watch and I’d wait.

My DC are adults now. Through the years we have strongly disagreed on many subjects. As I did with my own parents. I'm happy to report, none of our relationships were 'destroyed' or even slightly damaged by it. They grew up to be adults who understand that I have my views that I'm happy to defend, and that I have the respect not to patronise them by going along with every opinion they share because I'm too scared to upset them.
This idea that any voicing of GC views to a child who doesn't share them is 'risky' is imo just part of the propaganda aimed at ensuring young people only ever hear one side. Unless the teen believes themselves trans, so has actual skin in the game, a disagreement with parents over trans issues is unlikely to be a game changer in their relationship.
So in your shoes OP, I'd speak my mind. It's not about trying to convince, that's probably too ambitious. It's about letting them know you have courage of your own convictions, just as they do, and that the view they've accepted is not the only one.

They're childrens stories so it's not inappropriate to let go of them. I'd be more worried if they were reading them exclusively. I also understand they did it in a provocative manner but they are not in the first few billion teenagers to act like that and won't be the last either.