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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

So changing your "gender" is fine, but changing your accent is *weird*...

85 replies

Taupeness · 22/12/2025 10:04

If you want a laugh amongst the stress of getting ready for Christmas, then can I point you to this thread on trans Reddit which asks the question:

so im british and have had a british accent my whole life, but it has been causing me a lot of dysphoria recently. im amab and non binary and i want to have a male-sounding voice but for it to be softer and have a more feminine tone (i cant really explain it that well), and i can only really do that voice well while using an american accent. so is it okay to change my accent and if so would other people who already know me be weirded out by it?

The answers are comedy gold. Because changing your "gender(s)" is cool, obvs, but changing your accent is weird 😆

https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderUK/comments/1psn646/is_it_okay_to_change_my_accent/

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · 22/12/2025 16:37

Someone on the thread’s called troll, but none of them seem to have noticed yet that MN is having a good laugh.

Taupeness · 22/12/2025 16:35

I mean yeah, I do think people who already know you will find it weird, and depending on how realistic it sounds it can easily come across as fake to strangers.

Do they even hear themselves? So, so close to getting it...

OP posts:
SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 16:30

SerendipityJane · 22/12/2025 16:25

I was told to try and picture Iain Paisley in my minds ear as the sort of template for Protestant. Which was mercifully better than using the minds eye.

There is a folk story somewhere in the back of my head about using how a word is pronounced as a way to spot spies. I mean getting a German to say Featherstonehaugh was presumably an idea. Although I wonder if anyone here would get it right either 😆

I have heard a story about German spies in WW2 who had learned about English culture from reading PG Wodehouse, and were discovered on landing in England because most English people didn't wear lavender spats and say "what ho!"

That may be made up, but it is true that Kaiser Wilhelm was a huge Wodehouse fan and, in exile in Holland, used to amuse himself by reading Jeeves stories to his bemused courtiers.

EmpressDomesticatednottamed · 22/12/2025 16:25

Once when in France I was complimented on how good my English is, by a German. We were quite perplexed as we thought the car would have explained things, but it sadly was not helpful.
MtTamednotdomesticated has worked with lots of people from all over the world who learnt their English through American culture, films etc, and who, on finding that they have also learnt American accents, were doing their best to lose it and sound English. And why America gets let off the hook for colonialism I do not know, humph.

UtopiaPlanitia · 22/12/2025 16:25

SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 16:23

There are some definite localisms, like pronouncing hand as haun is a very East Belfast thing.

Mostly these days I have remember to avoid certain turns of phrase that might confuse English friends. Like making tea and asking "would you like a drop in your hand?"

And, when sending a work email proposing a course of action, never say "for thon would be deadly crack"

😂😂

SerendipityJane · 22/12/2025 16:25

UtopiaPlanitia · 22/12/2025 16:16

It is possible to tell ethnic background for accents from certain parts of the Province.

And there's always the good oul ethnic shibboleth of how they pronounce 'H''.

Catholics tend to pronounce it as Haitch and Protestants tend to pronounce it as Aitch.

I was told to try and picture Iain Paisley in my minds ear as the sort of template for Protestant. Which was mercifully better than using the minds eye.

There is a folk story somewhere in the back of my head about using how a word is pronounced as a way to spot spies. I mean getting a German to say Featherstonehaugh was presumably an idea. Although I wonder if anyone here would get it right either 😆

SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 16:23

There are some definite localisms, like pronouncing hand as haun is a very East Belfast thing.

Mostly these days I have remember to avoid certain turns of phrase that might confuse English friends. Like making tea and asking "would you like a drop in your hand?"

And, when sending a work email proposing a course of action, never say "for thon would be deadly crack"

Taupeness · 22/12/2025 16:20

what i mean is that i dont think the voice i want is accessible with a british accent, not that i specifically cant do the voice i want in a british accent (if that makes sense)

Make it make sense 😜

(Yes I know that's impossible 😆)

OP posts:
UtopiaPlanitia · 22/12/2025 16:16

SerendipityJane · 22/12/2025 16:01

I've been asked several times - when speaking languages other than English - whether I'm Dutch.

Well, English is on the same branch. A few times watching Dutch films, some words leap out at me as being pronounced in perfect "English".

I shared a house with a (Cat'lic) guy from Norn'Iron for a year at Uni. He was adamant you could tell Protestant and Catholics apart purely by accent. Whether that's a thing or not, I've never really divined.

It is possible to tell ethnic background for accents from certain parts of the Province.

And there's always the good oul ethnic shibboleth of how they pronounce 'H''.

Catholics tend to pronounce it as Haitch and Protestants tend to pronounce it as Aitch.

SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 16:15

UtopiaPlanitia · 22/12/2025 16:12

😍

The polite Norn Iron version of describing his attitude to cheese 😉

I might be moved to say that cheese makes him throw rings round him 😉

RoamingToaster · 22/12/2025 16:12

“'America is tied to maga and trump'
England is tied to colonialism, imperialism, coups, genocide, and above all TERFs to me. I would be more embarrassed sounding English than anything.”

Are TERFs worse than colonialism? 😂
These people are mad.

UtopiaPlanitia · 22/12/2025 16:12

SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 15:54

I will always defend Norn Iron as the most expressive form of English.

RP: My husband hates cheese.

NI: See me? See my man? See cheese? He hates it.

😍

The polite Norn Iron version of describing his attitude to cheese 😉

SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 16:09

If you have a good ear, you can tell quite precisely where someone is from. To me, a Randalstown accent is very different from a Tobermore accent, and Ballymena is wile different again, though the triangle they make on a map is not big.

Town or village doesn't exactly tell you religion, but oftentimes it allows you a good guess.

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 22/12/2025 16:06

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/12/2025 10:15

That thread is hilarious.

the Idea that speaking in an American accent is going to be what outs chappie as non binary. I sort of thought the whole point of being non binary was to make a song and dance about it, no?

SerendipityJane · 22/12/2025 16:01

I've been asked several times - when speaking languages other than English - whether I'm Dutch.

Well, English is on the same branch. A few times watching Dutch films, some words leap out at me as being pronounced in perfect "English".

I shared a house with a (Cat'lic) guy from Norn'Iron for a year at Uni. He was adamant you could tell Protestant and Catholics apart purely by accent. Whether that's a thing or not, I've never really divined.

SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 15:54

I will always defend Norn Iron as the most expressive form of English.

RP: My husband hates cheese.

NI: See me? See my man? See cheese? He hates it.

climbintheback · 22/12/2025 15:53

I don’t know you and I’m weirded out!!!

ArabellaSaurus · 22/12/2025 15:48

SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 15:34

When I lived in Germany people asked me if I was Swiss. Which kind of makes sense to me...

Then again, anytime I meet Poles they always assume I'm Russian, and I have no idea where that comes from.

East. 😁

ArabellaSaurus · 22/12/2025 15:46

MarieDeGournay · 22/12/2025 15:27

When I lived in France I used to be asked if my accent was Alsatian - from Alsace, not the breed of dog😄

When I speak French in France people often ask if I am from Corsica.

Although maybe that was just my pronunciation of 'l'ecosse'.

Edit: or my habitual mangling of syntax

ProfessorBinturong · 22/12/2025 15:45

I've been asked several times - when speaking languages other than English - whether I'm Dutch. Which is probably not complimentary to my French/Bulgarian/German accents, but perhaps better than being obviously English?

Before hearing me speak, assumptions have included Russian, Dutch (again) and Irish. I am none of these.

Edit: can I report these people for misnationalitying me?

SionnachRuadh · 22/12/2025 15:34

MarieDeGournay · 22/12/2025 15:27

When I lived in France I used to be asked if my accent was Alsatian - from Alsace, not the breed of dog😄

When I lived in Germany people asked me if I was Swiss. Which kind of makes sense to me...

Then again, anytime I meet Poles they always assume I'm Russian, and I have no idea where that comes from.

MarieDeGournay · 22/12/2025 15:27

When I lived in France I used to be asked if my accent was Alsatian - from Alsace, not the breed of dog😄

ahjeez · 22/12/2025 15:26

Mostly infuriated by the "Radio 4 is overwhelmed by Scottish accents" comment, though that poster also said they only listen to Radio 4 "when they can bear to". I'm picturing someone wailing dramatically as they flail onto a couch after too much of the shipping forecast...

SerendipityJane · 22/12/2025 15:01

UtopiaPlanitia · 22/12/2025 13:11

How weird is it that there is potentially a market segment for this? 🤷‍♀️

There are quite a few dialect coaches on YouTube but I can't vouch for their quality. For example, the ones I've seen who claim to be able to teach viewers how to use an Irish accent are usually clueless as to what actual Irish accents sound like and they end up giving comedy Oirish examples to their viewers 🙄

It was quite a shock to my friends when we first went to the US that Americans thought we were Australian. Which seemed to become more common the further south and west we went.

Rushedabit · 22/12/2025 14:03

Hmm, I find strong Dublin accents much harder to understand than Kerry ones!

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