URGENT help needed please re college socially transitioning daughter

Tbf, autism, adhd, personality disorder, attachment disorder....they are all just diagnosed by subjective analysis and often you get a particular diagnosis because of the specialism of the professional you see.

I have two adopted daughters and both have so many diagnoses - they score on everything they have ever been assessed for. And that's because they were severely traumatised from birth at the hands of their birth parents and they still suffer from the effects of what happened to them.

They have all the symptoms of adhd, learning disabilities, executive functioning disorder, speech and language disorder, adhd, personality disorder, OCD.....

All the professionals disagree with each other, preferring their diagnosis over the others.

And this is typical of kids who present as trans according to the Tavistock figures. 98% had another factor.

They are sad kids for a reason. Saying they tick the boxes for a trans diagnosis is therefore meaningless .

You mean DSM criteria and symptoms observed by clinician(s) trained in that speciality are not symptoms? Then yes, you are also dismissing ADHD/Autism and other conditions that have no CT scan or blood test or whatever is your new goal post evidence.

And hi new stalkers! Unlike you I don't hide my identity and life, funny how that works! I do enjoy in one post misgendering and insulting someone, while also claiming "good faith". Takes special level of self-gaslighing.

So... many... untruths in there, it's staggering. PPs have pointed some of them out already.

What I'd like to remark on is the following two related things:

1. @AidaP did not answer the question that had been asked of them, which was how to identify the kids who are mistaken about thinking they are trans.
2. In fact, they go even further than that, by implying that there are only two categories of children: the immense majority who are right to think they are trans, and the very few ones who are lying about it. There's literally no room for the ones who mistakenly think they are trans.

Also, because it pisses me off:

That's just risk with every treatment and condition, and we do not stop treating other conditions, like depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, because patient may be lying about symptoms

Those other conditions all have objectively observable symptoms. No kid is given medicine because they say they are depressed/bipolar/ADHD! They are given medicine because they exhibit symptoms of these conditions.

Not so with "trans kids", since there are NO such objective symptoms to observe to begin with.

By knowing how the system actually works for u18.

For u18, before the transphobic ban on blockers looked more or less like this:

1. Child comes out trans, starts social transition in whatever form works best for them.
2. Series of rapid assessment to get a baseline decision, this is held by multi-doctor panel, all of which are experts in the field.
3. Puberty blockers for multiple years while regular assessment and observation continues. Those are safe, used for decades now, and the moment you come off them your puberty kicks back in with no lasting negative outcomes, it's literally a pause to prevent harm.
4. If the multi-year observation supports a diagnosis, then it's possible to start HRT before 18 years old to ignite the correct puberty.
5. That's that. Surgeries for U18 statistically just do not happen. It's technically possible, but just doesn't and is not part of WPATH recommendations in normal circumstances. There are exceptions, extremely hard to meet ones - and rightfully so.

Safeguards were always in place. Of course then there are very rare examples of a child and then young person who literally spent years lying to the doctors but... That's just risk with every treatment and condition, and we do not stop treating other conditions, like depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, because patient may be lying about symptoms, standard that some demand to be applied to trans care, for some reason.

But unless you are trans or actually know someone who went through the process, but get the view from lying media, you would likely think you can just get something medical because you want it. Even for adults it doesn't work like that, and to get sex affirming surgery (privately as NHS wait is 10years+) you need to meet strict criteria, get multiple opinions (it can cost you 2k on opinions alone), and be on hormones for 1year+ under watch of a private endocrinologist.

And then it's worth adding that trans related care has LOWEST regret rade of any medica/cosmetic procedures, firmly study after study points it at below 1%. Nothing else medically comes even close to that outcome, even successful treatment of deadly cancer has regret rate of 13 to 40%. And that's when it literally saved your life from cancer. Hell, breast augmentation is between 5-9%.

Under the Children and Families Act 2014, OP's child became a young person on reaching statutory school leaving age. The significance of that is that all the rights in relation to the EHCP pass over to the young person, in particular the right to be consulted about amendments to the EHCP and the right to have their wishes taken into account. The fact that OP is carer makes no difference, the young person always has the right to override that. The college therefore has little choice but to follow OP's child's wishes in relation to EHCP documentation.

By knowing how the system actually works for u18.

For u18, before the transphobic ban on blockers looked more or less like this:

1. Child comes out trans, starts social transition in whatever form works best for them.
2. Series of rapid assessment to get a baseline decision, this is held by multi-doctor panel, all of which are experts in the field.
3. Puberty blockers for multiple years while regular assessment and observation continues. Those are safe, used for decades now, and the moment you come off them your puberty kicks back in with no lasting negative outcomes, it's literally a pause to prevent harm.
4. If the multi-year observation supports a diagnosis, then it's possible to start HRT before 18 years old to ignite the correct puberty.
5. That's that. Surgeries for U18 statistically just do not happen. It's technically possible, but just doesn't and is not part of WPATH recommendations in normal circumstances. There are exceptions, extremely hard to meet ones - and rightfully so.

Safeguards were always in place. Of course then there are very rare examples of a child and then young person who literally spent years lying to the doctors but... That's just risk with every treatment and condition, and we do not stop treating other conditions, like depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, because patient may be lying about symptoms, standard that some demand to be applied to trans care, for some reason.

But unless you are trans or actually know someone who went through the process, but get the view from lying media, you would likely think you can just get something medical because you want it. Even for adults it doesn't work like that, and to get sex affirming surgery (privately as NHS wait is 10years+) you need to meet strict criteria, get multiple opinions (it can cost you 2k on opinions alone), and be on hormones for 1year+ under watch of a private endocrinologist.

And then it's worth adding that trans related care has LOWEST regret rade of any medica/cosmetic procedures, firmly study after study points it at below 1%. Nothing else medically comes even close to that outcome, even successful treatment of deadly cancer has regret rate of 13 to 40%. And that's when it literally saved your life from cancer. Hell, breast augmentation is between 5-9%.

By knowing how the system actually works for u18.

For u18, before the transphobic ban on blockers looked more or less like this:

1. Child comes out trans, starts social transition in whatever form works best for them.
2. Series of rapid assessment to get a baseline decision, this is held by multi-doctor panel, all of which are experts in the field.
3. Puberty blockers for multiple years while regular assessment and observation continues. Those are safe, used for decades now, and the moment you come off them your puberty kicks back in with no lasting negative outcomes, it's literally a pause to prevent harm.
4. If the multi-year observation supports a diagnosis, then it's possible to start HRT before 18 years old to ignite the correct puberty.
5. That's that. Surgeries for U18 statistically just do not happen. It's technically possible, but just doesn't and is not part of WPATH recommendations in normal circumstances. There are exceptions, extremely hard to meet ones - and rightfully so.

Safeguards were always in place. Of course then there are very rare examples of a child and then young person who literally spent years lying to the doctors but... That's just risk with every treatment and condition, and we do not stop treating other conditions, like depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, because patient may be lying about symptoms, standard that some demand to be applied to trans care, for some reason.

But unless you are trans or actually know someone who went through the process, but get the view from lying media, you would likely think you can just get something medical because you want it. Even for adults it doesn't work like that, and to get sex affirming surgery (privately as NHS wait is 10years+) you need to meet strict criteria, get multiple opinions (it can cost you 2k on opinions alone), and be on hormones for 1year+ under watch of a private endocrinologist.

And then it's worth adding that trans related care has LOWEST regret rade of any medica/cosmetic procedures, firmly study after study points it at below 1%. Nothing else medically comes even close to that outcome, even successful treatment of deadly cancer has regret rate of 13 to 40%. And that's when it literally saved your life from cancer. Hell, breast augmentation is between 5-9%.

As OP I am happy for it to stay. I want sunlight on these vampires who seek to destroy our children with their lies.

Boom. That's your route in..... to both a sensitive conversation with your daughter and to challenge this falsified information on a legal document.

This (link ⬇️) article that I wrote nearly 3 years ago goes back to my own experience of when an organisation (in this case it was CAMHS) transed my daughter in paperwork without her asking for this. I've shared it before on other threads but not for a while now. Thankfully, it was the start of a long and positive journey towards sanity (within the CAMHS system, sadly not the school or the LA) where we're still seeing the benefits today. Those benefits have transposed across into the SALT and OT teams. At a simple level, that's what unlocked the conversations with these teams that I referred to above, even though none of it is actually in the EHCP itself.

https://www.transgendertrend.com/teenage-gender-identity-crisis/

Child comes out trans, starts social transition in whatever form works best for them.

And therein lies the start of the problem. Social transition is not a neutral act. The very act of doing it puts that child onto a pathway of ever more affirmative actions and interventions. And all of it is predicated on the unproven and unfalsifiable idea that we all have a gender identity that can differ from our sex: "true trans".

This post contains so many untruths I'm tempted to report it but won't because it demonstrates the level of deception that extreme transactivism deploys in order to persuade children that their uncomfortable developing bodies are flawed but a sex change is the cure.

Socially transitioning children is not a neutral act as the Cass Review pointed out.
Puberty blockers have been banned by this and the last government because they're considered unsafe for children.
We don't know the evidence about their long term safety as no data on outcomes has been kept - hence the proposals for the controversial "trials"

The only correct puberty for all children is that of their biological sex.

That's just a few of the inaccuracies.

We're not allowed to comment about this poster's previous deleted posts - suffice to say they suggested a powerful agenda that's not supportive of parents trying to safeguard their children

Interestingly though, when I went through the draft with my daughter, when she saw the mention of trans in it she said "oh. They've put that in there have they?" and was surprised. She didn't ask them to do it.

By knowing how the system actually works for u18.

For u18, before the transphobic ban on blockers looked more or less like this:

1. Child comes out trans, starts social transition in whatever form works best for them.
2. Series of rapid assessment to get a baseline decision, this is held by multi-doctor panel, all of which are experts in the field.
3. Puberty blockers for multiple years while regular assessment and observation continues. Those are safe, used for decades now, and the moment you come off them your puberty kicks back in with no lasting negative outcomes, it's literally a pause to prevent harm.
4. If the multi-year observation supports a diagnosis, then it's possible to start HRT before 18 years old to ignite the correct puberty.
5. That's that. Surgeries for U18 statistically just do not happen. It's technically possible, but just doesn't and is not part of WPATH recommendations in normal circumstances. There are exceptions, extremely hard to meet ones - and rightfully so.

Safeguards were always in place. Of course then there are very rare examples of a child and then young person who literally spent years lying to the doctors but... That's just risk with every treatment and condition, and we do not stop treating other conditions, like depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, because patient may be lying about symptoms, standard that some demand to be applied to trans care, for some reason.

But unless you are trans or actually know someone who went through the process, but get the view from lying media, you would likely think you can just get something medical because you want it. Even for adults it doesn't work like that, and to get sex affirming surgery (privately as NHS wait is 10years+) you need to meet strict criteria, get multiple opinions (it can cost you 2k on opinions alone), and be on hormones for 1year+ under watch of a private endocrinologist.

And then it's worth adding that trans related care has LOWEST regret rade of any medica/cosmetic procedures, firmly study after study points it at below 1%. Nothing else medically comes even close to that outcome, even successful treatment of deadly cancer has regret rate of 13 to 40%. And that's when it literally saved your life from cancer. Hell, breast augmentation is between 5-9%.

@AidaP

I was struck by your post, and agree with you that parents should offer love and support while their children try to figure out who they are. Best not to push, or allow them to be pushed, into decisions too early.

As you point out, such a tiny proportion of people - 'way under 1%' - are actually trans, and yet very many children and young people experiment around this. How do we stop the majority, who won’t be what you call actually trans, going too far either socially or physically/medically in their experimentation and taking decisions that are irreversible before they realise that they are not actually trans? How do we identify them?

I love hearing that, genuinely. Setting aside your views, offering love and support to your kid and their friends as they try things out and figure out who they are. That also means when they found out that they are not trans, or lesbian, it's a non issue to consider experiment as conclusive and move on from there.

It's normal development, for children and adults. And yep, very few people are actually trans, way under 1%, and TONS of children/young people experiment in similar fashion, the difference is that because you care more about the kid than the anti-trans views, they were open with you through all of it. It's great.

And I'll tell you another thing that may shock you, being trans is not a blessing. I would not wish it on an enemy. But it's also not a choice, and when you find out that you are trans, support, medical and social, goes a long way to help through it. But that's also why it's important to let kids experiment, and if they are trans, offer the help they need to reduce the hurt as much as possible, especially as some of it is irreversible - like some changes going through the wrong puberty.

And by luck we live in an era where it's all available medically, and is done safely and with strict oversight.