The Cinderella Effect - does it have implications for couples using sperm donor?

I honestly believe the differences with step parents documented as more risk than biological fathers is due to the records and systems we work within.

I just commented with a bit of my reasoning due to having a violent ex. I’ve been in loads of support groups and the freedom program etc and I must say I’m not surprised. Horrible violent dangerous men get contact with their kids all the time. If we were accurately recording what they were doing they would not be getting such dangerous levels of contact. The whole system is too fucked for us to trust any data that comes out of it

I was trying to avoid mention of lions and such like the difference we have with our fellow mammals is our very complex societal structures and our ability to intellectually override primitive base instincts. I speak of males in regard of that, as women’s basic instincts still serve us well where they have not been corrupted by patriarchy.

i agree with the option of gay and lesbians procreating in mutually shared parenting relationships, it was a thing, back in the 80’s and nighties.

I wonder if we would need to define the different types of abuse for the answers to these questions to have more value?

I googled Cinderella effect and google just says abuse and mistreatment this could be physical verbal or sexual and while they often co occur they are different and the risk factors for them differ. I was aware that having a step father is one of the risk factors for being sexually abused. There is evidence if they took on a child rearing role to a baby then step fathers sexually abuse at similar rates to biological fathers as do step fathers to late teens. So I imagine raising a donar conceived child from birth will have the same affect on the data and bring sexual abuse rates in line with ‘normal’ father offending patterns.

I also think there is an element of violent men are just violent men. I left my ex because he was violent. If he becomes a step father I have no doubt he will be violet to that child too. The difference being that mother will have legal recourse to keep him from the child as he does not have PR and the records will reflect what happened. Myself and multiple other people have made referrals about my violent ex and he’s never faced a consequence even when admitting to hurting the child in family court he was excused because I’m apparently so hard to live with it’s understandable he would be driven to hurt his child. Abusive fathers more often than not get contact with their kids in our family court and it’s recorded as parents not getting on rather than the abuse it is. I’m sure there will be an effect on the data with how our systems operate to benefit fathers over children. (Yes I know this is apparently changing but I will believe it when I see it). I can’t see police dismissing physical abuse to a child who isn’t subject to PR from their abuser as just different parenting styles or that even so best not to record it as abuse because the best thing for this child is having contact with this man no matter what.

neglect makes sense when there are biological children to gourd resources for. Which won’t be the case with sperm donation.

I don’t think it would have the patterns we see with step parent risk. But without large scale peer reviewed research we can’t say that

As a person who worked in DVA for many years there does not seem to me to be a heightened risk of unrelated males and children in a family unit, indeed the heightened risk to children from, the data I collated was from biological fathers, who would use the children to keep control of the mother.

further murders of children are more commonly committed by biological fathers.

i am of the view that violent men are just violent men.

there are plenty of successful adoptions, be they by hetro sexual, gay or lesbian couples.

The concern i have about fertility treatments that involve a third party be it sperm donation or egg donation, is that there is a risk of people accidentally procreating with a close relative.

And secondly there is no consideration of a very human desire to know where we come from.

I am even more concerned about the fertility industry, surrogacy being an industry that is out of control and commodifies women's bodies, which should in my view have an outright ban.

this may well exclude gay men from pro creating, i don't think that is homophobic.

If you have a strong stomach google Preston Davey. Two men adopted a one year old boy, who died in their care. They violently sexually abused him and made indecent images of everything. They have not been sentenced yet, so I imagine there will be investigations into social services involvement.

That saying "Hanging's too good for them" springs to mind.

The effect, if it exists at all, is likely to be much smaller.

At least three risk factors apply to stepfathers but not to men who raise children conceived with donor sperm.

Firstly, stepfathers often have their own biological children in the same family, whereas men raising children conceived with donated sperm usually don’t. Competition for resources with biological children is thought to be a risk factor for abuse.

Secondly, men raising children conceived using donor sperm raise their children from birth, whereas stepfathers usually take on a paternal role only later. The risk of sexual abuse is thought to be reduced (though obviously not eliminated) by caregiving during infancy.

Thirdly, the role of stepfather can be sought out by predators because it provides an opportunity to target abuse at a specific child who is the focus of the man’s interest from the start, with the “relationship” with the mother providing only cover for access through which to abuse the child.

A straight couple who use a sperm donor are raising a child who is not related biologically to the father, and unlike adoption, there are no checks

This is so common though isn't it? We don't do any checks on men that single mums move in with their children.

I'm not disagreeing that it's worth looking at/ considering but it's not different for sperm doner set ups than anything else. Generally where a child is in a house with no parent then we run checks, where there is one parent we allow that parent to make their own risk decisions for who else to allow access to the children.