One of the tragedies that gets to the heart of identity politics is that you must believe someone's lived reality - if someone says that getting misgendered is worse than death to them it's a bannable offense to point out that it's unrealistic and unethical to compel every one else to behave as though it is.
It's also, plainly, a deeply unhealthy belief (delusion) for the person to hold. Yet pointing that out is also a bannable offense.
So, trans people are at a total loggerhead with reality. Many, even most (though perhaps not all), GC people are perfectly happy for adults to present as a stereotyped version of the opposite sex as both a form of self expression and means to reduce feelings of dysphoria about their bodies, and are willing to suspend their disapproval (so long as the individual is informed and in a position to consent) of body modification and induced hormonal disorder to enhance that expression. They wouldn't object to public campaigns to reduce bullying and discrimination against trans people and would also welcome any necessary additional precautions to ensure that trans people had access to effective, comfortable and safe single sex services corresponding to their biological sex. Surely there are in fact some instances where those facilities and services could be improved for trans people. But not only is that unacceptable in the debate, but considered to be bannable transphobia as well!
So, here we are back in the manipulative situation of trans people suffering from very real, sometimes florid, psychological distress, but the community exploiting that distress as way to try and coerce their allies into demanding untenable policies - in much the same way as that the manipulative child psychologists will present parents with the alternative of a trans daughter or dead son. When Falkner talks of trans people being the victims of their own advocacy that's what she means. But it's extraordinarily difficult to articulate in the public debate.
What's worse, with respect to Reddit and Wikipedia, is that those forums have trained the current generation of AIs that make them as shrill and unreasonable as TRAs, and those AIs wield enormous power in shaping the debate - they're used to craft policy, prepare talking points for talk show appearance, develop university curriculum, research reports, power chat-bots on social media, and run moderation tool for forums like Reddit itself, creating a circular, self reinforcing echo chamber.
As much as unpleasant as it is, I think it's essential for GC people who want to see change to engage Reddit and Wikipedia as contributors, and seek to build institutional pressure against their bias through pressure group like SexMatters and watch dog groups like ofcom.