Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Pronouns trump disability

35 replies

Gettingbysomehow · 06/11/2025 12:32

I've been sent on a course at one of the universities, I train students in the NHS.
This morning at the crack of dawn I drove two and a half hours just to find there were no available disabled parking spaces.
Nobody could help me and said I'd have to park in an overflow carpark 15 minutes walk away. I can't walk that far on crutches.
There was no information whatsoever in the course information pack about disabled access or disabled parking.
As a result I had no access to the university and had to drive home again, so I have emailed requesting my course fee and 5 hour round trip petrol fees to be reimbursed.
I went through the course information pack again once I got home, no mention of disabled access whatsoever.
We had been asked for our lunch preferences and whether we had any allergies.
We were asked for our pronouns and there there were two full pages of guff on why pronouns are important to us...two full pages!! Accompanied by jolly photos of students with pink and blue hair.
Yet the disabled person is forced to go home because there is no access information - and no available parking spaces, we were not asked to specify disability beforehand. I need to park right outside the university.
Im absolutely hopping mad that when I got there they could find nothing for me.
I drove round every car park looking for a space but there was nothing within my walking distance ability.
Im absolutely disgusted. Why the hell do I need to read two pages of pronouns information?

OP posts:
IwantToRetire · 06/11/2025 20:16

You have grounds for a formal complaint of disability discrimination.

This is ages old. Long before the gender issue disability accessibility is never dealt with.

Which ever university it is is not fulfilling its role.

If the NHS is your employer (or have I misunderstood?) has asked you to attend this course, they too should complain.

This issue is so important, and even though this is FWR (sex and gender) would just focus on this outrageous, unprofessional, exclusionary service.

Hard to believe, because most places now, or when booking online or completing forms have a section asking do you need any special services to be able to participate.

Its rife throughout society.

People in wheel chairs left stranded on planes and trains.

There's probably a better resource than this, but you could look at https://www.disabilityrightsuk.org/resources/making-complaint

And absolutely whoever sent you on the course should also make a really strong complaint.

EdithStourton · 06/11/2025 19:31

I'm so sorry this happened, OP.

I suspect that these skewed priorities are because the pronoun stuff is cheap, whereas dealing with accessibility costs £££. So they can get their cool points with photos of pink- and blue-haired students and a few 'she/her' badges, and not have to worry about pesky stuff like marked parking bays, ramps and lifts which requires more thought and more money. And are less cool.

Original poster
Gettingbysomehow · 06/11/2025 18:09

I will thanks. Im looking forward to their response. I asked why it was necessary to envlose 2 pages of pronouns information and no information about disabled access.

OP posts:
MrsOvertonsWindow · 06/11/2025 17:40

Please let us know OP what the response is? It's an unbelievably distorted set of principles but as the NHS repeatedly demonstrates - it's not really fit for purpose any more.

soupycustard · 06/11/2025 16:55

LongOutBreath · 06/11/2025 13:50

It's because providing genuine inclusivity and accessibility (of women; disabled people; BAME people) necessarily disrupts the status quo and means privileged people might have to make space or actually do something.

Pronouns on badges and in emails, natty little posters in the loos telling special men they can go wherever they like: easy peasy! The organisation gets the warm glow of satisfaction from being on the right side of history; progressive; the good guys, and the able bodied white men in charge don't have to lift a finger or lose out in any way whatsoever.

This really goes to the heart of the matter. EDI has been totally misused. It requires some time, effort and money to help provide many sections of society with equal access. It needs nothing but stupidity, misogyny and performative 'progressiveness' to gives males even more rights than they already have.

Original poster
Gettingbysomehow · 06/11/2025 15:37

Overthemhills · 06/11/2025 14:44

It’s so ingrained it’s insane - my daughter is disabled and nonverbal (plus about the understanding of a 1.5 year old). I frequently struggle to find disabled parking spaces so I sympathise with you on that front but I was less amused when social services were taking details (to get her on the children with disabilities radar) and asked me if she identified as female. I just looked at them without even trying to answer: their response was “I’ll presume she does”.
One of the very many gripes I have with this kind of trend is precisely how ablest it is - but that’s off the point you are making OP.
Good luck with your complaint!

Good grief, its unbelievable isnt it.🙄

OP posts:
Overthemhills · 06/11/2025 14:44

It’s so ingrained it’s insane - my daughter is disabled and nonverbal (plus about the understanding of a 1.5 year old). I frequently struggle to find disabled parking spaces so I sympathise with you on that front but I was less amused when social services were taking details (to get her on the children with disabilities radar) and asked me if she identified as female. I just looked at them without even trying to answer: their response was “I’ll presume she does”.
One of the very many gripes I have with this kind of trend is precisely how ablest it is - but that’s off the point you are making OP.
Good luck with your complaint!

LongOutBreath · 06/11/2025 13:50

It's because providing genuine inclusivity and accessibility (of women; disabled people; BAME people) necessarily disrupts the status quo and means privileged people might have to make space or actually do something.

Pronouns on badges and in emails, natty little posters in the loos telling special men they can go wherever they like: easy peasy! The organisation gets the warm glow of satisfaction from being on the right side of history; progressive; the good guys, and the able bodied white men in charge don't have to lift a finger or lose out in any way whatsoever.

Helleofabore · 06/11/2025 13:24

I am sorry that you had this happen. Good luck with your complaint.

CassOle · 06/11/2025 12:50

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Unfortunately, it is also my experience that 'identity' trumps everything - including severe physical disability - for the 'be kinders' and their awful oppression triangle.