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ArabellaSaurus · 07/11/2025 22:14

'Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.'

IANAL, but I dont think this is an actual law. Is the Brolloid Bodily Embiggening Bill one of the SNP's next wheezes?

ArabellaSaurus · 07/11/2025 22:08

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 07/11/2025 19:55

fucking hell, is that really what the article says? can I be a journalist too please? I promise not to write about my nose hairs, which will make me 300% better than Marissa

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Please be a journalist. This woman's prose makes me want to commit hari kiri with a collapsible umbrella.

SinnerBoy · 07/11/2025 22:04

How dare you try to grab the carving knife I'm stabbing you with! That's assault! Call the Police on her!

CrocsNotDocs · 07/11/2025 20:11

Christinapple · 07/11/2025 12:16

It's worth noting if you intentionally grab or strike something someone is holding that is still assault in England. Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.

Exactly. People aren’t taking this seriously enough. The Scottish Play makes it very clear that the finger of a birth strangled babe is a critical ingredient in a witch’s brew that will make men do crazy regicide stuff that they wouldn’t normally do. Imagine how much more powerful the touch of the fingers of a fully grown witch on a man’s rain cover would be. I just think the police have been scared off by the idea that the fem witches might start incantations on them.

SinnerBoy · 07/11/2025 19:58

Christinapple · 07/11/2025 12:16

It's worth noting if you intentionally grab or strike something someone is holding that is still assault in England. Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.

Christ, you dont half talk a load of old shite.

nicepotoftea · 07/11/2025 19:57

"So when I read about an organisation whose core purpose is to “protect and strengthen women and children’s rights”, occupying its time trying to exclude a minority from protections instead of championing for more funding for frontline women’s services, I am baffled."

occupying its time trying to exclude a minority

I know there are supposed to be slightly more women than men, but 'men are a minority' is an angle that hadn't occurred to me.

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 07/11/2025 19:55

ArabellaSaurus · 07/11/2025 19:46

'...Susan Smith, a director of For Women Scotland, who was heralded as one of the country’s “leading women’s rights campaigners”. She allegedly vandalised the rainbow umbrella of a counter-protester outside the Scottish Parliament last month. I wipe my tears and dry my eyelashes. Frustration makes my nose hairs burn, and I try my best not to let my eyes start leaking again. '

Oh, dear.

Dry your nose hairs, Marissa. And maybe do a spot of research next time.

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fucking hell, is that really what the article says? can I be a journalist too please? I promise not to write about my nose hairs, which will make me 300% better than Marissa

ArabellaSaurus · 07/11/2025 19:46

MelOfTheRoses · 07/11/2025 17:11

https://x.com/ForWomenScot/status/1986795394689339429

Susan Smith is an "umbrella bandit" who should be doing proper feminists stuff rather than this gender culture wars stuff. According to journalist in The Herald:

" I really struggle to understand what these anti-trans people have ever done for women in Scotland. The fight that matters to me is the one that ensures women aren't immolated or strangled by men in their lives. "

'...Susan Smith, a director of For Women Scotland, who was heralded as one of the country’s “leading women’s rights campaigners”. She allegedly vandalised the rainbow umbrella of a counter-protester outside the Scottish Parliament last month. I wipe my tears and dry my eyelashes. Frustration makes my nose hairs burn, and I try my best not to let my eyes start leaking again. '

Oh, dear.

Dry your nose hairs, Marissa. And maybe do a spot of research next time.

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 07/11/2025 18:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Alucard55 · 07/11/2025 18:20

Christinapple · 07/11/2025 12:16

It's worth noting if you intentionally grab or strike something someone is holding that is still assault in England. Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.

Thanks for that. Next time a angry man shoves an object in my face I definitely will not defend myself.

Hoardasurass · 07/11/2025 18:14

Christinapple · 07/11/2025 12:16

It's worth noting if you intentionally grab or strike something someone is holding that is still assault in England. Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.

Well good thing this is a SCOTTISH case! More to the point the umbrella in question was being used as an offensive weapon by Harlow and he was attempting to assault Susan with it he should have been arrested

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 07/11/2025 17:21

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MelOfTheRoses · 07/11/2025 17:11

https://x.com/ForWomenScot/status/1986795394689339429

Susan Smith is an "umbrella bandit" who should be doing proper feminists stuff rather than this gender culture wars stuff. According to journalist in The Herald:

" I really struggle to understand what these anti-trans people have ever done for women in Scotland. The fight that matters to me is the one that ensures women aren't immolated or strangled by men in their lives. "

For Women Scotland (@ForWomenScot) on X

Bad timing to mock #Brollygate. Ms McWhirter calls Susan Smith an "umbrella bandit" on the day Police Scotland concede there is no case to answer. Ms MacWhirter may be unaware, but Susan is also a director of a Rape Crisis Centre & has been part o...

https://x.com/ForWomenScot/status/1986795394689339429

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 07/11/2025 16:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

OneCraftyMentor · 07/11/2025 14:36

spannasaurus · 07/11/2025 12:50

Would the charge be Grievous Brolly Harm or Actual Brolly Harm?

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I believe the precedent was set in R v Mary Poppins. It's only GBH if the brolly goes flying...

MrsOvertonsWindow · 07/11/2025 14:34

SidewaysOtter · 07/11/2025 13:32

How the hell did Police Scotland have time to deal with a slightly bent brolly when they failed to investigate predators like this?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm2wxd278n7o

Isn't that awful? It's no wonder so many people speak about a 2 tier justice system when you look at things like this.

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 07/11/2025 13:58

I actually despise that headline. Surely it should be ‘Police Scotland failing to deal with a dangerous man destroyed my life for years’

women should have a reasonable expectation that the Police will deal with threats of violence and cyber stalking

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 07/11/2025 12:50

Christinapple · 07/11/2025 12:16

It's worth noting if you intentionally grab or strike something someone is holding that is still assault in England. Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.

I think the police in Scotland have read the same law book you did, that's why they're Muppets, as are you . 🤯

spannasaurus · 07/11/2025 12:50

Christinapple · 07/11/2025 12:16

It's worth noting if you intentionally grab or strike something someone is holding that is still assault in England. Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.

Would the charge be Grievous Brolly Harm or Actual Brolly Harm?

lcakethereforeIam · 07/11/2025 12:43

I used to shout 'step away from the loose change!', which is why I have to go to a corner shop 15 miles away. They hate me there. I always give exact change in pennies.

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 07/11/2025 12:35

lcakethereforeIam · 07/11/2025 12:23

That's true. That's why I never accept my change or a bus ticket.

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If you grab someone to stop them falling from a window ledge that’s also assault. It’s why lawyers always recommend letting people fall their deaths

true fax

lcakethereforeIam · 07/11/2025 12:23

Christinapple · 07/11/2025 12:16

It's worth noting if you intentionally grab or strike something someone is holding that is still assault in England. Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.

That's true. That's why I never accept my change or a bus ticket.

Kucinghitam · 07/11/2025 12:18

Ah, Chris, never knowingly under-brolled.

ArabellaSaurus · 07/11/2025 12:17

Christinapple · 07/11/2025 12:16

It's worth noting if you intentionally grab or strike something someone is holding that is still assault in England. Anything that is being held like an umbrella counts as an extension of their body.

Do women have umbrellas? Do chickens cry? Does a chicken have a soul, Chris?

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