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Original poster

Trans men and the menopause

80 replies

Senso · 28/10/2025 03:01

Hello. I’m new here and am looking for information and support.

My DP’s niece is 21 and in the process of transitioning from “her” to “they” to “him”. Currently she is “they”.

Whilst I’m glad they have the support they need from the family, it worries me greatly that the effects on the body are not being properly understood. IMO they are too young to fully grasp the enormity of the road ahead given that they are biologically female.

As a perimenopausal woman myself, I know that one simply does not fully comprehend just how big a change it is until you are going through it yourself. DP certainly does not but he is a man after all. However his sister has gone through menopause so she has experienced it.

I realise that it is not my place to say too much of my own personal opinion and DP’s sister is frankly a nightmare to deal with at the best of times so mostly I keep quiet. But I have made it clear to DP that whilst I am supportive of his niece on a human level, I will not collude in the delusion that she will ever be anything other than biologically female.

what worries me the most is the hormones. We know how they change the body and I cannot fathom how DPs sister isn’t more concerned about what will happen to her biologically female child when the time comes for a woman to go through the biggest hormonal change since puberty.

any advice welcome. TIA

OP posts:
SpidersAreShitheads · 28/10/2025 03:47

I don't think you're wrong OP. Also being perimenopausal myself, it's been a shock to realise just what our hormones do. I mean, I know it's often spoken about but when you start to experience the very big differences, it's a real shock - or at least it has been for me.

I agree re future research. I doubt very much indeed that women's bodies and how they react to male hormones will get much attention.

I don't have any advice at all. I've always found with these things that if they're not given oxygen or attention, sometimes they fade away. The problem is that some young people make their gender their whole identity so it's hard to take a step back from it once they're on the path. Does your niece have other interests or hobbies, outside a friendship group that might be quite pro-gender identity? Spending time with a broader group of peers might help?

I'm sorry for your niece though. Our young people aren't being given accurate or clear information, and the potential effects are just devastating.

Original poster
Senso · 28/10/2025 03:27

Overtheatlantic · 28/10/2025 03:06

Surely this scenario is possibly 30 years down the line? And I imagine there will be advancements in medicine by then.

maybe I am being pessimistic but do you really think so? If you consider how little has changed in medicine with regards to women’s health compared to that of men’s health I wouldn’t bet on things being all that different.

For example the options on prostate issues are vast. Not all available on the NHS granted but if you look into it, the level of treatment available is highly sophisticated. However treatment for gynaecological issues remain pretty basic by comparison.

The truth is that men’s health is given massive priority in terms of research - and I imagine this to be the case when it comes to transwomen too. VS transmen.

OP posts:
Original poster
Senso · 28/10/2025 03:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I do find it difficult to keep myself in check when I see DP’s side of the family. I have to keep reminding myself that it is their madness, not mine.

OP posts:
MadelineMardigan · 28/10/2025 03:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Overtheatlantic · 28/10/2025 03:06

Surely this scenario is possibly 30 years down the line? And I imagine there will be advancements in medicine by then.