Teacher asked DD how she IDs

And you are illustrating exactly why the OP should complain.

I’d probably add an f word in there too but I am generation X and did give a fuck at that age and still don’t. Teachers know your place.

Tell her to identify as a person who doesn’t like people prying into none of their business. PPPNOYB!!!

So glad you’re going to complain.

I doubt this will be the first or last child the teacher has done this to a child.

No problem with comprehension at all; your mindset, particular belief system, and parenting skills are all very clearly on display in your opening post.

Please please complain.
this is yet another disaster created by trans ideology.
my own daughter, 17, would love to have short hair but daren’t because of all the questions and whispering about whether she’s a boy or not which she can’t be arsed with.

I’m glad you are going to complain. I fear this shit happening to my 12 year old daughter. She’s at an all girls school which can be the most toxic type of school for gender woo.

I was a short-haired tomboy at 12. My mum was a short-haired tomboy at 12 (actually sh still is at 78) My grandmother was a short-haired tomboy at 12 in th3 1930s! None of us had to put up with this pseudoscience gender ideology nonsense. I don’t see why I have to worry about an activist teacher getting their hooks into my DD.

I think the poster will say that your hurty words have literally violenced them.

Surely this is a safeguarding issue?

I wonder if the conversation has been recorded on SIMS or what other data system they use.

There is no reason for a teacher to ask about gender ID. Gender ID doesn't appear in the Equality Act. So why is the teacher collecting that information?

What are they going to do with it? The school has to comply with the data Protection Act. Personal data can only be collected for specific reasons, must be accurate and you, crucially, need to give permission for that processing.

The standard data schools collect is things like name, parent/guardian name, address, phone number, sex, any medical issues / allergies, the marks awarded for exams etc.

It is quite, quite true that you absolutely shouldn't push your ideology onto children.

Which is precisely why the OPs - frankly alarming - syntax needs calling out.

And this is why the whole stupid gender thing is just perpetuating harmful old fashioned stereotypes. There’s absolutely no reason why a girl shouldn’t have short hair & a boy shouldn’t have long.

You dont get to push your ideology onto children how many times no means no

People question them as you have seen by this thread as the mother of a long haired boy its ridiculous he has to constantly reiterate he is a boy but he has had to do that for years he doesn't even look feminine he just looks like a boy with long hair

It's pathetic

I wonder if the teacher actually thought your DD was biologically male, or if she was in fact fully aware that your DD is female but assumed she was trans.

Even if you put the genderwoo nonsense to one side, ot is shocking that she asked your DD such an inappropriate question based on regressive stereotypes. Would she publicly ask a young male student if he was gay on the basis that he was auditioning for the college musical? Wrong on so many fronts.

This happened to my niece. To be honest it seemed to me exactly the kind of gender policing I was subjected to at school years ago, but dressed up with a new flag.

She's just a girl with short hair, but wow, nobody could relax about it at all. Really persistent questioning, bringing it up all the time, sometimes just straight up declaring her as trans. Very rigid, conservative thinking, ironically identifying as liberal.

Why can't everyone just calm down about hairdos.

I’d suggest Op’s statement is entirely fine unless you’re particularly hard of thinking, and perhaps the teacher should be reading the statutory guidance back to herself, slowly and repeatedly, instead.

"While I respect how other people want to live their lives and their right to believe whatever bollocks they like"

Now I'd like you to read this quoted statement back to yourself, slowly and repeatedly if needed, and consider if there might just be the teeniest little flaw here...

Thinking this through a bit more OP, I think it would be helpful to decide which path you would prefer to take as each would likely involve a different process:

• if you want to raise a safeguarding concern specifically about an individual, it's likely that you would need to raise this straight to the Local Authority Designated Officer (LADO) rather than via the school's complaints process. You'd need to check the school's complaints policy but I believe this is standard practice
• if you're raising it as a complaint about a teacher's conduct (lack of adherence to KCSIE, RSE guidance etc), rather than a safeguarding allegation/concern about the teacher, the complaints process will get you to the governors if it doesn't get resolved at an earlier stage. If this route fits best, hopefully, as an outcome of your complaint, the school would agree with you that the teacher has failed to follow safeguarding and RSE legislation and will address it.

If you're clear on which path fits your circumstances best, that will hopefully help you to avoid getting stuck in a systematic vacuum.

When I raised a concern to the Head, it was at a whole school level and not about a teacher, so my circumstances were different. (In short, some of the school's practices are non-compliant with safeguarding legislation and it manages parents who are concerned about their child being gender questioning as potential domestic abusers who are imposing their own belief values on their child). In my case, I initially approached the school to ask them how I should raise my concern, because it listed safeguarding matters as complaints process exemptions... Fast forward to the exhausting end of a very long journey and it turned out to be Shrodinger's complaints process, where the issue was both exempt from the school complaints process and had also apparently been correctly managed (as a complaint) under the school's complaints process. The net result being that there was apparently nothing to see here. FFS.

In a circumstance where a teacher is allowed to have flags and there hasn't been a top down safeguarding process which makes it clear to teachers why you wouldn't ask a child if they are sure they identify as their sex, it sounds like the school itself is failing to have an adequate safeguarding approach. Hopefully you'll find that this failure results from ignorance on the Head/DSL's part, rather than activism, and that if you decide the best route is to bring it to the Head's attention, it gets taken seriously and addressed.

Oh yes absolutely, you message them, they do bugger all, you escalate it to stage 2 or whatever it's called, which is governors, go from there!!

I agree - but many schools procedures insist you go through the motions of ‘speaking to the HT’ first before contact the BoGs. Bloody frustrating, but my tactic in these issues is to CC the BoG’s when I email the HT. Has always succeeded in lighting a fire under their arses in these matters!

there is no way this is NOT a case for the governors, none at all

I feel I need a 😱 emoji here. Having held my DD’s hand through 7 years of trans IDing and subsequent desisting… I wish I’d been more on top of staff/incidents like this when she was at school. It’s taken her years to regroup and move on.

I’m afraid, knowing what I know now, I’d be emailing the HT immediately and mentioning that you feel it might need to be placed before the Board of Governors given the Cass Report and current UK government guidance. That this teacher embarrassed your DD is unforgivable.

I was walking down a busy city street last week and I overheard two young women talking about a third. They said: " where has all her hair gone....she's such a boy".

Steerotyping and conformity with sexist stereotypes has gone into hyperdrive since the 1980s I'd say, but made so much worse by 'gender identity' nonsense.

From an ideological POV that one must instantly and unquestioningly accept everybody's declared identity else it's erasing their existence and committing literal violence, it is astonishing* to me that BeKinders suddenly can't accept somebody's declared identity and feel justified in constantly poking, prodding and demanding a different answer when the shoe is not on the Righteous foot

*Not astonishing