Do you have an escape fund for your DD?

A small joint account with enough money to live on for three months in an emergency is not going to result in anyone losing their house or being accused on money-laundering. It's a security cushion.

Interesting. I thought the song was purely materialistic (will look at the lyrics).

Jewellery from high street jewellers will barely get you a train ticket to the next city (been there, done that, lost 90% of it’s retail price) but better than nothing if in a tight spot.

I think it’s very good advice. Year’s ago a friend of a friend told me she was saving up to leave her husband. I guess she must have as year’s later he dropped on my FB feed remarried.

Year’s ago when I wanted to leave my ex I had no money and two young children. I felt trapped and it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. Thankfully I did get to leave and go to my parents but I wish I’d had a fund.

No, and never had one for myself, but I now do see that it is good advice. Not necessarily to have an escape fund but to be financially secure yourself.
DH and I split 2.5y ago, I started divorce proceedings. The house and assets needed to be split 50/50, luckily due to my good job I’d have been able to buy DH out of the house. I can’t imagine having to go through a painful divorce and to deal with short finances too. Hats off to anyone who does that, they are stronger than me for sure. I never intended to live here long term, but would’ve moved on my terms and at a much slower pace.
It is interesting to do that for a child, but not quite sure why that wouldn’t be for a son too. They’re unlikely, though not impossible, to suffer domestic violence but I can see many instances where they’d benefit from the financial support too.

If they advise us not to then we won't.
I'm not pay anyone 1000s of my money to do anything

Who will tell you not to do it. If they are any good.

Oh and if someone “advises” you to put your house in a lifetime trust and pay them thousands - run !

There are some groups that seem to have a problem with generational domestic violence. They seem to grow up with violence in the home and they tend to have partners with higher risks towards family violence. I guess if you are not from such communities, it’s going to seem extremely weird.

She isn't going to be told
The house is worth 160k

We will obviously seek professional advice anyway

Soo many reasons. No decent solicitor would advise you to do this.

If you fall out with her you have lost your home - zero protection.

Likewise if she gets divorced. If she owns the house it’s in the table.

Lose your main residence nil rate band allowance.

You are still living there so it’s still part of your taxable estate for iht anyway.

Obvious deprivation of assets for care home assessment.

Mad.

No children, so no. But I was given that advice by my mum (2 expensive divorces, 3 financially abusive relationships). Always have a running away fund. Not necessarily secret, but under your sole control and easily accessible.

Why?

Why on earth are you doing that? Terrible idea.

No but I am teaching her to be financially independent and have everything in her own name including savings. She will always have my home to run to as long as I live and we are putting it in her name anyway once she reaches 18 with a clause that later another name can't be added so she will be the only one who owns it.

Back in the olden days - ie before 1975 when women were finally allowed to have bank accounts independent of a husband or father - women were encouraged to ask for jewellery as gifts. Jewellery is worn on the person, so not get-at-able by someone with ill-intent in the same way as a box of cash under the floorboards, and can be sold to raise funds in the event of a quick getaway being necessary.

Thus the trope of “diamonds are a girl’s best friend.”

Raise your daughters not to rely on a man, even if you decide to have children with them. I have an escape fund for myself, if I had a daughter it would be available to her.

My nans advice was have a pocket he knows about and a pocket he don't.
Yes i took that advice and told my son the same.

Ive been single for years so now i call it my back up pocket.
If shit hits the fan for any reason im okay.

This would not be legal.

You can't just have a bunch of secret bank accounts abroad like you see people do in gangster movies. This is because they are typically used for tax evasion, money laundering, fraud (hiding funds in breach of a court order, bankruptcy restrictions, divorce proceedings etc). You will need to at certain times to disclose all assets and accounts, and interest and income earned (including abroad if relevant).

No. I have three DDs and barely enough money to keep myself afloat.

They are all adults and capable of having their own 'running away' funds, should they so choose. I can provide a safe space, a room and a listening ear if they need to leave their partners. I can't afford to provide money as well - that's up to them.

Seems a sad and suspicious way to live.

My mum always taught me to have a divorce fund, just in case. Never kept secret. Her advice also: "never get married, never have kids". She is in her 80s, married for over 50 years and has only recently decided to spend her divorce fund - on a cruise for her and my dad!

I set up a joint account for me and my mother (funded from our own earnings, fairly small amounts put away each payday) not because my father was abusive but because he would get scandalised if he thought we spent too much on (for a example) a short culture-vulture city break, or birthday presents for him.

We eventually realised he was autistic (hated holidays, remembered childhood poverty).

For most other purposes they had joint accounts.

After he died, when we went to the bank to change names and sort out the savings/investment accounts we referred to our one as our 'running away fund'. with a hasty explanation of how and why we used it. All the bank officials were very approving of our having it, and of the r-a-f concept. Strong sense that if they weren't so professional that could tell some sad tales.

So I'd say go for it.

Wish I’d made one for me. When the time comes I will be making sure she has one.

It’s worth noting if your husband dies it’s also a nightmare when things get frozen and you can’t get any money out. Always best to have a pot in your own name to make it easier. Last thing you need to be thinking about is taking photos for setting up bank accounts.

My daughter bought a house with her boyfriend, they have their own accounts and a joint one for the house expenses. She has spreadsheets and is very organised, completely unlike me.

I think it would be wise to have savings and to tell her if she ever needs to leave a relationship you’d support her transition, but I’d not call it an escape fund incase she becomes defensive about a current relationship and thinks you’re judging. Keep the drama low.