student university toilets

I was just discussing what might constitute pathological behaviour.

And explaining why I object to you saying - on this thread - that women’s single sex spaces are moot.

They are not. They are never moot. There is always a need for them and organisations and companies should obey the law.

I have every sympathy for a 17 year old who is young, and navigating university and has found herself, for example, in the wrong bathroom. I have autism and adhd and very well may have panicked and thought in that panic that the spaces were shared. And even told my mother so. That doesn’t make a pathological liar, it makes me disabled.

Edit to add. I strenuously object to being called fearmongering. I deserve - and am legally entitled to - a safe space. And if we don’t use clear words that everyone understands about what a woman is that means I can’t have my single sex space to which I am lawfully entitled.

So sorry that happened to you @Taztoy you deserve to feel safe

Who insists that men can have babies in this thread?

@LoftyRobin I am not and have never “fearmongered” on this topic how dare you.

I was subjected to a violent rape and sexual assault. He burst through my door, pushed me back against the back wall of my living room, strangled me until I passed out and when I woke I had pissed myself. He was trying to take my trousers down at that point (marks and Spencer’s black wide leg jersey) and he pulled them and my knickers down and raped me whilst holding his hand at my throat.

he also orally raped me, and penetrated me with his fingers in my vagina and mouth.

And he kissed me and forced his tongue down my throat.

I need same sex spaces because of my trauma around that. I need to be able to go out and live my life because I have the right to do that.

if there is a man in a single sex toilet that is a women’s toilet where I have entered and am doing my business, I won’t be able to stay on my day out, and I will have to go home and my MH will be on a knife edge. It’s happened. I’ve had to do it. Day out being at the supermarket.

I need my counselling space to be female only. And again, that is my right.

Don’t you dare tell me I am fear mongering. How dare you. I have never fear mongered.

I was of the what does it matter use the pronouns they want let them in the loo persuasion until my rape.

now, I can’t cope with a man in any space where I am behind a closed door. My work are very good and the blokes on my floor know I struggle (I’ve no idea who told them) and they don’t go to the gender neutral loo and wait if I’m in there. (There’s 2 loos, you go through a door and there’s a small corridor where you can wait.)

I have never ever fearmongered.

you did this yesterday. You lumped me in with a “you” that only existed in your head. Please don’t do that. It’s unfair and it’s similar to the actions of someone who isn’t debating in good faith.

Edited for clarity around the women’s toilet space.

I would say it’s pathological
lying to insist that men can have babies and to say that it’s not only women that have babies and cervixes.

I would say that it’s pathological behaviour to continue to harangue people who are merely wanting the law to be obeyed and to have their legal rights upheld.

But what do I know.

Dont need to. Look i get that making up lies about this topic is encouraged by many as part of the overall fearmongering, but pointing that out as toxic isnt the problematic part.

It really isnt normal to fabricate things like this. I know that for a lot of people, embellishing stories and making things up is how they've always got attention and so it is a normal for them but that isn't the world we want. She needs help. Mum needs to confront it head on. That's my last comment on it.

Thats why I said "if" it is habitual as you would have seen if you had read before responding.

Where is your evidence that it is habitual for her to tell lies?

And where is your compassion?

Pause
reread your posts
slowly

You were very unkind in the way you did so.

you called a 17 year old who is young, and likely to be struggling, a “pathological liar”.

Where is your compassion?

Yet I am the problem for pointing that out?

@LoftyRobin is a bona fide odd poster
I have come across this poster on other threads and… best ignored.

Although I do agree that it is concerning the OP’s daughter lied to her about urinals in the gender neutral toilets. It is very clearly stated on the website that no urinals In any of the gender neutral toilets at this uni

I really think OP should go with her DD and explore the toilets (as they live locally), and just have a talk about if maybe university is stressful and if she's looking for an "excuse" to not go onto campus (and zero zero judgement, I have been there) and if that's not the case, just walk her through the buildings, maybe on a late evening or weekend, when it will be nice and quiet and show her where all the female toilets are and if she got confused about it all and ended up in the mens, which again no judgement, if you're feeling stressed, Cottrell in particular can feel very maze like.

I was an ex-student, but as I said in my post, I am there regularly. I was there last week.

Cottrell has no mixed gender toilets, there are mens and womens. The INTO building near Cottrell has mixed gender toilets, those are floor to ceiling, fully self enclosed with sink etc toilets that open onto a hallway, you would not be walking into multiple people, they are single occupancy.

There are no toilets in Cottrell, where you will be walking into men using urinals apart from the men's toilets. This may be why her daughter was being laughed at, as she is likely to have been in the men's if this happened.

Pathfoot has separate toilets for men and women. The mixed gender ones, I have not been into, but I would assume they would follow the rest of the buildings, which are floor to ceiling indivudial cubicals opening onto the hallway. They may not be, but then there is the option of using the single sex ones, but I cannot guarentee that as, as I have said, have not used them but female ones exist.

The library in the atrium which is where all the shops etc are have female and male seperate toilet options.

I know someone is going to be like, anyone can lie about visiting etc, I don't have any from my visit last week, but I have a picture, mid August, dated in my photo reel, as I was trying to remember where I need to go back to, this is in the Cottrell building.

Tbh things in unis change all the time.

i can think of one institution where all toilets in one building are now single enclosed cubicles.

@ParmaVioletTea ours still says that.

I'm waiting for ours to go, I happen to have had sight of the new one which is better but it hasn't been updated on the website yet

My university used to have a “use whichever toilet affirms your gender.” After the SC decision , that policy has disappeared from the website.

Things change annually, or even, frankly, weekly, so I'll believe someone who has been in this term and looked, rather than someone who left a few years ago.

There was a former student that posted very recently. Will you only believe people who agree these toilets don't exist?

I'm pretty sure that looking at a Maze map is not "proof". At my university they are frequently out of date. Unless there's an actual member of staff at Stirling who can walk into the buildings in question and show us the toilets she'll have seen ARE single sex, I believe the OP's daughter over the other posters.
In addition to this, I've walked into toilets on my own campus and seen a man come out of the cubicle when a) it's labelled as women's and b) we have a high proportion of Muslim students. It was particularly jarring to see a bloke in a skirt come out when one of the Muslim young women was checking her appearance in the mirror.

Her university is basically breaking the law. My university had a bonkers policy (written by a group of trans-identifying make students and their female allies
handmaidens ) Advise your DD to use the single cubicle Disabled loos. What she is experiencing is unacceptable - being jeered at by male students is horrible.

There's enough danger for female undergrads being groped and assaulted in student nightclubs. They shouldn't have to put up with it during the day as well.

i know this thread has derailed slightly, but if OP is around, as dd is commuting in I’m guessing they live close so I’d really recommend going in tomorrow (or another weekend) the buildings will be open but pretty much empty, mooch about, have a look at all the women’s toilets, have a look together where the nearest toilets are to all her tutorials and lectures.

Cottrell can be confusing when you first begin but there is both the maze app (tell her to look on her student app it’s linked on there) and there is also a video on how to deal with the Cottrell room numbers and hallways on the Stirling website or YouTube

it does sound like she could possibly be struggling a bit at university? And wanting that time away at Costa etc, so just have a mooch around with her (there’s a lovely walk around the back of the Stirling court uni hotel where you can see the Wallace monument, so it’s not just a toilet research trip) and I guess see how she’s doing and if she’s struggling or just got confused about the toilets.

Thanks, maybe that will be of some help to the OP if she's still lurking.