Of course I understand that. I constantly challenge myself and look at it from different perspectives.
I always come to the conclusion that sex is real and has material consequences for women both physically, and, because of patriacial social structures and norms, socially, financially, emotionally and politically.
And in that social environment, recognising the reality of sex and the social and physical consequences that it has for women (original female people) in particular and providing sex specific supports to help us mitigate this, and maintaining sex specific language to allow us to express and make sense of our experiennces while also challenging the beliefs that these gendered behaviours (in both sexes) are natural and can never be changed is the only fair thing to do.
I used to see trans women as great allies. I thought male people whose existence proved that much of what society says is "female" isn't specific to women at all, but just a convention attached to our sex.
The break for me was realising that these men didn't want "woman's" social conventions to be opened up to men as well, they wanted to keep the old social divisions between women and men and turn these into the actual defintiions of women and men, simulateously baking in the exact sexist stereotypes I had hoped they would be our alies in fighting and destroying the language, history, analysis, laws and spaces women need to make sense of what it is to be female outside those stereotypes and our socialisation.
I would love to get back to that possibility, but it cannot happen while trans women do not allow female people to exist in our right with our own language, spaces and protections that are separate from and nothing to do with trans women's social "womanhood".
Why is it so important to you to destroy this? Why do you hate female people so much that you cannot allow us our own existence in law, society and language?