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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Struggling with my political allegiance now and it's really bothering me

267 replies

Appalonia · 04/09/2025 22:46

Since the eighties, I have been a leftie, raised money for the Miners ' strike, was in the SWP for a while in the 90s, lifelong Guardian reader, worked for charities for most of my career. However, I'm so disillusioned with what the left has become now. It started as for many of us with the trans issue, seeing formally trusted and respected institutions like the BBC, the Guardian, C4 etc either ignore, or blatantly skew the issues, the only place I could read the truth about what was happening was on ' right wing' media outlets that I would have dismissed outright previously.

Since it was only right wing outlets or posters that were talking about this, pp like Douglas Murray, Jordan Peterson, The Spectator etc, I feel like I've been exposed to right wing views that I now feel more more aligned to than left wing commentators like Owen Jones, Mark Steel, most comedians etc.

I now listen to Trigggernometry, Free Speech Nation The Lotus Eaters, and I'm starting to feel more aligned to them on other issues now, like free speech, immigration etc.

So, I'm thinking about the demonstration for free speech in London on 13 September in London and part of me really wants to go because I think it's really important and what's happened with the trans debate and how it's been reported in the press and how so many gender critical pp have been silenced. And it's not just about GC views, it's about free speech in general. But the people who are organising this, is really putting me off. I want to go and stand up for what I believe in but at the same time, this demo is being characterised as a ' far right' demonstration, and I don't want to be associated with that. In fact, years ago, I would have been on the other side, demonstrating against fascists.

I just can't disentangle it all in my mind, I believe in free speech and I do believe it's under threat in the UK, but at the same time I don't want to be associated with pp like Tommy Robinson. But even saying that, just watching his interview on Triggernometry was eye opening. Can anyone relate to this? I just feel so conflicted right now.

Sorry, I don't feel I've expressed myself very well, there's so much more th an this. I just can't square my identity of myself of a life long socialist with how much I disagree with so much of what the left stands for now, that I just don't agree with.

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Niminy · 05/09/2025 10:11

”I also found it really interesting to explore feminism from a conservative lens for a while. Like, female activists who opposed things that seemed "weird" to oppose, like female suffrage or women in the workplace or liberal divorce laws or abortion. Exploring what the female-centric arguments for those things might be. Almost like alternate history.”

Conservative feminism and non-feminist feminism are really interesting. Was Phyllis Schafly a more important figure than the libertarian feminists she opposed? Was Mary Whitehouse a prophetic figure? I listened to a fascinating discussion between Louise Perry and Kate Phelan about the way feminism has been absorbed by progressivism so that it’s become a dead letter. Fairer Disputations is a good source of articles exploring more conservative versions of feminism — particularly centring motherhood and caring for children.

Fizzer5 · 05/09/2025 10:06

@Shortshriftandlethal There is still coal beneath us. It became very difficult to extract from narrow deep seems consequently more expensive.
BTW I was in favour of the Cumbria mine for hard coking coal. DH met the company planning it.

OneAmberFinch · 05/09/2025 10:03

SquirrelSoShiny · 05/09/2025 09:59

@SionnachRuadh write that book. I would read it 😁

Likewise 😁screenshot us in your book proposal as evidence of readership demand!

SquirrelSoShiny · 05/09/2025 09:59

@SionnachRuadh write that book. I would read it 😁

EasternStandard · 05/09/2025 09:57

SquirrelSoShiny · 05/09/2025 08:20

I am furious at 'the left' in Britain, USA, Australia and various European democracies. They completely abandoned their original core values - bringing equal opportunity for humans to thrive economically. Instead they became defenders of fashionable niche issues. The media and arts were absolutely complicit. The net effect is a terrifying push towards hard right politics.

I've been saying for years that I genuinely believe gender ideology was pushed by the right to bring about a backlash against liberal values. The left are to blame for running into the trap. Men cannot become women. Women cannot become men. 'Non-binary' is an imaginary concept.

The left told us we were bad humans for believing material reality. No wonder any intelligent person is turning away from them. The left has a very small window now to wake the fuck up, admit their mistakes and become worthy of voting for again. Less virtue signalling, more action. And yes, this includes deportation of people who have no right to be here or who we simply cannot afford to provide for.

They could have gone a different way to this authoritarian and lie based rhetoric.

It is pushing more people right.

TheKeatingFive · 05/09/2025 09:57

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:56

Seriously, you think a face being exposed in a large crowd is enough to ID someone? We don't have that technology yet. What we would need is serious public advertising like we do for killers & rapists & for someone to step forward to identify that person. An in case you haven't noticed we don't even have the funds for the most serious of criminals to be publicly outed.

Again, what you are proposing isn't practical.

😂

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:56

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/09/2025 09:49

How are they slipping through the cracks when they are literally marching on the streets, inciting violence against women, with their faces on show, being photographed and filmed? I can't think of many arrests that would be easier, to be honest.

How is that more difficult than trying to identify who raped and murdered a woman in a poorly lit area late at night when there was no CCTV?

Oh and by the way the violent behaviour of trans activists is absolutely the responsibility of the "trans community".

Edited

Seriously, you think a face being exposed in a large crowd is enough to ID someone? We don't have that technology yet. What we would need is serious public advertising like we do for killers & rapists & for someone to step forward to identify that person. An in case you haven't noticed we don't even have the funds for the most serious of criminals to be publicly outed.

Again, what you are proposing isn't practical.

SmugglersHaunt · 05/09/2025 09:56

I feel exactly the same - you're not alone. I was always very left wing, but it feels like the wheels have completely come off that bandwagon. I put it down to me ageing (the cliche being that people move rightward as they get older) but I'm starting to think it's something else.

I have to keep my mouth shut around most of my friends (v. left wing) as when I've expressed anything around the trans issue I've been accused of being a QAnon-er (!).

Israel / Palestine is another one - anything other than wishing for the destruction of Israel etc. etc. apparently makes me a fascist

EasternStandard · 05/09/2025 09:54

Interesting haven’t rtft but will. Also hadn’t quite clocked the rally in September was cited as being for free speech.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/09/2025 09:49

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:43

Strawman.
Logistics & commonsense dictate that a limited amount of cops v thousands of protesters means some criminals will slip thru the cracks. This is true of all protests & not 'special' for trans protests. I can't believe I need to explain this obvious logistical fact but here we are.

Your problem being further resourcing needs to be taken up with the tax payer not trans people.

How are they slipping through the cracks when they are literally marching on the streets, inciting violence against women, with their faces on show, being photographed and filmed? I can't think of many arrests that would be easier, to be honest.

How is that more difficult than trying to identify who raped and murdered a woman in a poorly lit area late at night when there was no CCTV?

Oh and by the way the violent behaviour of trans activists is absolutely the responsibility of the "trans community".

Exhaustedtiredneedabreak · 05/09/2025 09:46

You're not alone. I am totally politically homeless. Last election I went to the hustings and looked at what all the candidates said about all the issues I care about, education, economy, democracy, freedom or speech and women's rights and I realised none of them represented me.

Shortshriftandlethal · 05/09/2025 09:45

Fizzer5 · 05/09/2025 09:29

@Appalonia and those who had allegiance to the Miners.
Given the time distance we now have and fuller understanding can you now see how mistaken you were then?
Scargill and co were adamant that there was a viable and necessary industry in those areas. We now know there wasn't. It was a myth.
Can you imagine how expensive home produced coal would make electricity?

It wasn't a myth. It was a viable industry, in that we were still using coal, except now having to import it from abroad, and it was necessary in that whole communities were dependent upon it.

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:43

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/09/2025 09:39

So the police shouldn't deal with men threatening violence against women because it's...difficult?

Strawman.
Logistics & commonsense dictate that a limited amount of cops v thousands of protesters means some criminals will slip thru the cracks. This is true of all protests & not 'special' for trans protests. I can't believe I need to explain this obvious logistical fact but here we are.

Your problem being further resourcing needs to be taken up with the tax payer not trans people.

RedToothBrush · 05/09/2025 09:43

TheKeatingFive · 05/09/2025 09:42

I can see why that seems like a perfectly reasonable argument in @Howseitgoin head

Snigger

TheKeatingFive · 05/09/2025 09:42

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/09/2025 09:39

So the police shouldn't deal with men threatening violence against women because it's...difficult?

I can see why that seems like a perfectly reasonable argument in @Howseitgoin head

RedToothBrush · 05/09/2025 09:42

Niminy · 05/09/2025 09:00

My experience is that once you start to re-examine your ideas about one thing, then it’s like taking a brick out of a Jenga tower: everything else starts to wobble. Ideas cluster, particularly on the left, hence the ideological Christmas pudding that is the Omnicause. If you start to question one ingredient, well, it doesn’t stop there.

I’ve found, having been left wing all my life, that one by one the elements of left-wing beliefs have come to seem shibboleths, and one by one I’ve begun to question them. Like many others I used to be a Guardian reader and now subscribe to The Times. I’ve found some of the most thoughtful people are people who’ve moved from the left - I’d nominate Louise Perry and Mary Harrington.

I started to lose left wing friends about ten years ago, when I defended Jenni Murray. I’d say in the time since I’ve pretty much discarded the received ideas of the left that I’d cherished for all my adult life. Among the ideas that I’ve come to be sceptical about are open borders, Palestine liberation, net zero, Black Lives Matter, and of course TWAW. Those former friends probably think I’m ’far right’ now, whereas I feel politically homeless. Tories, hopeless, Labour incompetent, Reform are idiots. I sometimes look at the SDP, but they are so tiny.

Green washing has had the effect of merely shifting problems to another part of the world so we can say we aren't the problem whilst still continuing to buy even more crap at even lower prices. All whilst manufacturing in this country has died this meaning there's less jobs in this area in the UK and adding to economic woes so we can't invest in better technology which actually does reduce emissions. The focus on emissions rather than consumption is the issue and is one of fiddling the numbers to make something look better than it is in reality whilst putting ourselves at greater security risk in the process.

It's a fucking farce.

We've had friends have a go at us for still having a small petrol car (which we've been getting 70mpg over the lifetime of the car) rather than replacing it with an electric. They meanwhile have bought a huge new electric car. If we were to replace our car the cost you have to factor in the cost of producing a whole new car and all the associated consumption of it which given the size of their monster probably would be more than any potential savings to the environment. We don't drive a huge amount as it is. It makes no fucking sense. But they can't compete that 'its a bit more complicated' than merely looking at the type of fuel.

Omnicause recitals are incapable of the concept of 'its a bit more complicated'. Weirdly I've had more productive conversations with people who others might term 'close minded' who have gone 'oh you know what, thanks for that I hadn't considered that point, that's really interesting and maybe I'm not as right on this as I thought I was'.

It's really fucking frustrating. It's the arrogance of righteous rather than being genuinely interested in a subject and wanting to know more about it.

OneAmberFinch · 05/09/2025 09:42

Niminy · 05/09/2025 09:25

@OneAmberFinchI’m really hoping my brains haven’t fallen out Confused

But, yes, the destabilising effect is real. On the other hand the I’ve found there’s a whole
world of really interesting, thought-provoking stuff out there once your horizons have changed.

Mine did for a bit but I think I managed to stuff them back in - hopefully ;)

I agree though, I think my worldview is stronger and more predictive of events than my old one, and I really enjoy the new company and conversations.

It is hard to maintain a "foot in both camps" for an extended period I think though, because of the destabilisation. I think this is why many of the "heterodox" communities that spring up end up at least partially converging on a common worldview (which might bring in strands from various sides) rather than remaining a free for all for years at a time.

SionnachRuadh · 05/09/2025 09:41

I think there are some complex long term issues about the decay of the left, and I could write a book about them ... (don't encourage me)

At random, a couple of things I come back to.

(One)
It used to be in Labour that you couldn't be an AEU sponsored MP unless you were a time served engineer. Other unions had similar arrangements. That doesn't jibe well with the current centre left, because it meant the PLP was much more male and white than it should have been, but it kept the party in touch with its working class roots.

Where are the working class MPs now? Is it just Lee Anderson? Are there one or two others?

Labour today is still doing class politics, but it's a vehicle for the interests of the PMC class. You can see a similar thing with the US Democrats, Australian Labor, the SPD in Germany and analogous formations across the west.

This matters because PMC causes and working class interests are not the same. Open borders are not in the interest of the working class man or woman competing for a minimum wage job. But they work pretty well if you're an MP or BBC journalist or left wing celebrity, and thanks to immigration from Albania, cocaine is much cheaper in London these days.

(Two)
The left being absolutely terrible on VAWG, despite seeing it as an issue they own. I often return to the SWP rape scandal, because I know a bunch of the people involved. But I don't believe the problem is unique to one small Trotskyite sect. During the scandal I was talking with a woman who is extremely well connected in Labour politics, and asked her if she could imagine something similar happening in Labour. Slightly to my surprise, she said she absolutely could.

Now for me, one of the key things is not simply that a lot of socialists who had imbibed all the correct theory on women's liberation decided that covering up the rape of young female members by party leaders was no big deal. That was depressing but predictable.

What I didn't predict is that the people who broke away because they couldn't tolerate the coverups, they themselves quickly decided that the really oppressed group were the women with beards and cocks. If you press them they might concede with considerable ill grace that rape survivors might be entitled to single sex peer counselling, but they're absolutely committed to the idea that gender identity trumps biological sex (which doesn't really exist) and single sex spaces should not exist.

These people, who found the SWP's coverup in 2013 intolerable, have also defended some of the SWP's overseas franchises which are also rapey as fuck; and some of them at least have described grooming gangs as a "moral panic", nothing to see here.

I know this is one smallish group, but these are people who have had an opportunity to reflect on male supremacism on the left and they have learned fuck all. I put a lot of that down to a large proportion of them having advanced degrees from elite universities. They're both extremely arrogant and wilfully stupid. This is your brain on Queer Theory.

(This criticism extends to the women who sign open letters from the SWP front "Stand Up To Racism". Some of the dim celebrities might think they're just generically opposing racism, but I refuse to believe that Diane Abbott or Leanne Wood or Zarah Sultana don't know who these people are.)

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/09/2025 09:39

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:34

Strawman.

It's more difficult to apprehend criminals in a large crowd. This isn't rocket science.

So the police shouldn't deal with men threatening violence against women because it's...difficult?

SquirrelSoShiny · 05/09/2025 09:38

TheKeatingFive · 05/09/2025 09:33

In what sense did Linehan's tweet constitute a 'credible threat'?

Credible threat to who? In what way?

I think that reporting some tweets from April just a few days before Graham Linehan's appearance in court was probably done to try and discredit him and make him seem dangerous by the usual loony TRAs.

They live in a bubble and echo chamber. They never seem to realise that 98% of the population think they're absolute bellends. If anything the massive outpouring of sympathy for Linehan should wake them up pretty fast. But, like the Labour lot, they never fucking learn.

TheKeatingFive · 05/09/2025 09:37

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:37

Okaaaay…🤪

Well why do you think it's 'much harder'?

OneAmberFinch · 05/09/2025 09:37

Pressed send too soon - I think the fact that this thread is about Tommy Robinson is illustrative of this. My circles are fairly wide and include people who would happily say they are "far right" and support policies even I find a bit extreme (and those who know my username will know I'm often all over immigration threads etc so I'm hardly a soft-hearted liberal on that point!)

95% of them think Tommy Robinson is a knob - to a PP's question, yes because of the criminal element specifically and thinking he's a grifter.

If you think of "right-wing influencers" you should think of Burke, Chesterton, Hayek, Scruton, Oakeshott... heck Matthew, Mark, Luke & John... any number of people before Tommy Robinson and the Lotus Eaters come to mind :)

I also found it really interesting to explore feminism from a conservative lens for a while. Like, female activists who opposed things that seemed "weird" to oppose, like female suffrage or women in the workplace or liberal divorce laws or abortion. Exploring what the female-centric arguments for those things might be. Almost like alternate history.

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:37

TheKeatingFive · 05/09/2025 09:36

I'd say it's much easier. Just turn up and apprehend.

Okaaaay…🤪

TheKeatingFive · 05/09/2025 09:36

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:34

Strawman.

It's more difficult to apprehend criminals in a large crowd. This isn't rocket science.

I'd say it's much easier. Just turn up and apprehend.

Howseitgoin · 05/09/2025 09:34

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/09/2025 09:30

Ah, so your argument is that it would be disproportionate for police to do anything about trans activists calling for violence against women because there are so many of them, but it's reasonable for them to arrest Graham Linehan because there's only one of him?

Not the argument I would have gone for, but you do you.

Strawman.

It's more difficult to apprehend criminals in a large crowd. This isn't rocket science.