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Original poster

I blame JKRowling

355 replies

RedToothBrush · 28/08/2025 22:02

For shrinking the size of Monster Munch and shrinkflation generally.

Also the existence of belly button fluff

What do you blame her for?

OP posts:
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14
lcakethereforeIam · 28/08/2025 23:31

Howseitgoin · 28/08/2025 23:00

Making orange oafism great again?

'Twas the they/thems that did that.

Tomrrowandtomorrowandtommorrow · 28/08/2025 23:16

Making my dog's farts noxious. Before she came along, the whole family would gather round his butt hoping for a fragrant guff. Such an evil hag.

murasaki · 28/08/2025 23:13

Moved the coffee table so I stubbed my toe. Dreadful woman.

MurkyWeather · 28/08/2025 23:11

Giving me high cholesterol, because she knows I love cheese

FrogFalacy · 28/08/2025 23:08

Butter beer. Dobby the elf. Reading. Writing. Decent feminism. Pretty girls with red hair. Women over 50.

AlanJohnsonsBeemer · 28/08/2025 23:06

She puts the stuff in sun cream that stains white clothes yellow

Scout2016 · 28/08/2025 23:05

When I somehow misjudge doorways / bedframes and smack my knees / toes/ head on the wall, that's some sort of whictchy clumsy spell.

Likewise when I boinked my nose hard off the glass of a (closed shop's) window trying to peer in and it really bloody hurt. She knew what she was doing.

Oh and no decent yogurts. All either no fat water or not-veggie gelatine, and no good flavours. I don't want to pay ££ for a thimble of lemon yogurt thanks. After more cigar funds are you?

AND the enduring over abundance of salted sodding caramel. In every conceivable product. When will that go away, JK??? Come on now, you've had your fun.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/08/2025 23:05

NoBinturongsHereMate · 28/08/2025 22:58

I can help with one of those. Sainsbury's and Ocado do this one: www.moorishdips.co.uk/range/Humous

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I did try that one, @NoBinturongsHereMate but it was spicy too - Waitrose do a smoked hummus but dh won’t let me loose in there too often! That’s probably JKR’s fault too.

Iamintheshed · 28/08/2025 23:03

You do know it was she who borrowed Terry Wogan's allen keys and didn't return them?
Well! she been to my shed and taken the spokeshave. I have only used it once.
Living on a yacht! I ask you! What kind of life is that? 'bout time she grew up and got herself a real job.

nocoolnamesleft · 28/08/2025 23:01

I blame JKR for being so fucking awesome that I feel inadequate in comparison.

Howseitgoin · 28/08/2025 23:00

Making orange oafism great again?

Trump Orange GIF
NoBinturongsHereMate · 28/08/2025 22:58

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/08/2025 22:24

I blame JKR for making Tesco discontinue their smoked hummus. And she made Toblerone discontinue their coconut version.

I can help with one of those. Sainsbury's and Ocado do this one: www.moorishdips.co.uk/range/Humous

DustyWindowsills · 28/08/2025 22:54

Boiledbeetle · 28/08/2025 22:28

Oh I should have read the posts first, she's done the rain crap to you as well today. What's with her washed bedding hatred?

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I'm pretty sure she caused it to drizzle on Tuesday for a solid four hours before we were due to check out of a campsite. My living room is full of soggy tent. The dog is not happy.

GCAcademic · 28/08/2025 22:54

She jammed the photocopier at work today, I'm sure of it.

Bannedontherun · 28/08/2025 22:53

I think its her fault i went on mumsnet and developed unacceptable views that i cannot part with

she refuses to pay me for my trouble

BogRollBOGOF · 28/08/2025 22:51

She uses up all the black ink in my printer.
Then sneaks back to use up the cyan while I'm out buying the black.

It's most vexatious!

DustyWindowsills · 28/08/2025 22:48

She injects black mould into the silicone sealant around my bath. Every four years.

It must be her that does it. It's definitely not me.

OnTheBoardwalk · 28/08/2025 22:48

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/08/2025 22:24

I blame JKR for making Tesco discontinue their smoked hummus. And she made Toblerone discontinue their coconut version.

Coconut Toblerone! I’m with her at banning this

PachacutisBadAuntie · 28/08/2025 22:48

I blame her for the complete disappearance of a packet of interdental brushes that I KNOW I BOUGHT several weeks ago

TomeTome · 28/08/2025 22:47

Gravity and its effect on my jowls. Just stop it. I look like a basset hound.

2021x · 28/08/2025 22:45

..... the death of Hedwig

Blueuggboots · 28/08/2025 22:44

She’s stolen the lovely new home card I bought for my daughter and now can’t find.

lcakethereforeIam · 28/08/2025 22:42

Boiledbeetle · 28/08/2025 22:28

Oh I should have read the posts first, she's done the rain crap to you as well today. What's with her washed bedding hatred?

Show quote history

That happened to me today too. I should have known it was her! She got Alexa to lie too. 'Rain will start at 2 pm', my arse!

Eta I bet it's her that causing the random glitch in the posts when your text doesn't delete.

It's only fucking happened with this one!

SummerDaysAreTheBest · 28/08/2025 22:41

Fruit flies

murasaki · 28/08/2025 22:37

She was definitely standing behind my garden shed whispering sweet nothings to my cat so he wouldn't come in for his dinner.

And she stole my chocolate out of the fridge.