What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex? Thread 2

I think I would have to clutch my pearls

A male in the women’s toilets

What are you scared of?!

Absolutely nothing it doesn’t bother me

Id be scared & would report to security straightaway

I really don’t know how I’d react. I’m all for people doing as they please it doesn’t affect me how they live their lives however to be honest if I’m in a female loo or changing room and there’s quite clearly a trans woman there I’d be taken a back I think. I’ve been I company with a couple trans women and genuinely I couldn’t tell they were trans so if they were in there I’d probably not bat an eyelid. However I’ve also witness a ‘trans woman’ somewhere I will not name and quote clearly it was a man who looked like Phil Mitchell in a dress and wig. The person decided they were trans came to this place dressed in I can’t even describe and the worse wig ever and make up on. Genuinely never tried to hide their gender. We had to act normal and respectful. His marriage ended his kids were ridiculed and for what? Cause months later changed his mind back to Phil Mitchell marching about and we were just to forget about it 🤦🏻‍♀️ that I would be fuming if he walked into same loo as me. My work have all inclusive toilets for all genders disabilities etc anyone can use it. Most people use it for a 💩

EXACTLY.
A woman's space is a woman's space.
There have always been men and boys who want to invade it, to know what we "do" in there. And suddenly they're finding they can put on a skirt and come in, and perhaps 50% of the women in there won't say anything!

I feel horrible saying this but I would have been scared. I'm a very nervous person anyway. If a man is walking behind me on a dog walk I'd be so scared. Maybe it's because I've seen too many episodes of criminal minds. 🤷 I was once followed when I was backpacking around Australia. Two men stopped me and had some sort of cult information booklet. I said I wasn't interested and walked along the path with trees either side heading towards the beach. I walked fast and they followed for about a minute and then luckily I bumped into a couple of dog walkers. They were local and walked with me to my hostel.

While 99.9% of the time It would probably be just a trans woman washing their hands my mind would jump at the worst case scenario.

I remember my criminology tutor telling me she once went swimming and when she was on drying herself she looked down and saw a phone. She shouted and he ran away. H was caught and got a suspended sentence. 🙄 My mind would have went to something like that.

One experience was walking into a toilet, noticed a person standing at the mirror and immediately knew it was a man dressed as a woman. I froze, didn’t say anything. He turned on me aggressively, yelling, and I ran and locked myself in a cubicle, terrified.

Women matter.

Just a thought. Honestly what about reporting it to the police or some authority?Not that they would be expected to drop everything and send a team to investigate or anything like that, but just so UK can start tracking statistics and data on the prevalence of males trespassing into female spaces. If there are certain places where reporting is high perhaps they could receive a citation or something?

At this point a male entering a women's bathroom is a crime, yes? If so, shouldn't they be reported as such even if the perp can't be caught/charged. Isn't this needed for accurate crime statistics?

Maybe I'm wildly off base - discuss.

I would not say anything for fear of reprisals but I would definitely report him. If I was not happy with the reaction from.staff I would escalate to director or CEO. I would not let this go.

This & get myself out of there as quickly as possible. If I hadn’t already been to the toilet, I’d leave and find another one (or wait outside until they’d left).

Yeah. If these men felt unsafe in the men's (and tbh I think that's generally bollocks), the answer isn't 'oh I'll go in the women's then'. No other group of men do this.

It's completely a choice to go into women's spaces where they are not allowed to be. Because they get off on it.

Anyone who doesn't get this is honestly deluded.

(I have listened to too many TIMs at this point to have any doubt on the matter)

I don’t mind if you want to make him feel uncomfortable tbh, but if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t say anything.

I think "transwomen will be attacked in male toilets" is unevidenced scaremongering along the lines of "children will kill themselves if not given puberty blockers".

Just because you keep saying something doesn't make it true.

And this is women's problem to solve because..?

In most men's toilets I would be astonished if anything worse than a comment occurred. By far the most likely possibilities are no reaction or a bit of side eye. Most times I go into the Gents I don't even look at anyone else in there.

There are some insalubrious neighbourhoods where I would only go into the toilets if desperate; that's as an undistinguished tall bloke. I could understand anyone who looks even less manly than me wanting to avoid such places. But in most men's public (or pub) toilets, I doubt if many of the other occupants would bat an eyelid, mainly because the occupants would be too unobservant and focussed on their own business to notice who was with them.

Last week I was in a crowded Gents and there was a man (who appeared to have a learning disability) standing at a urinal with his trousers round his ankles, arse on full display. After a moment's surprise, I ignored this unusual behaviour, as did everyone else.

Well you've used the p word so I will too! It's that "item" which makes all the difference. If you're unlucky enough (lol) to have a penis, you are NOT welcome in toilets, changing rooms, or anywhere else that is marked for v-sprouting members of society!
(As far as I'm concerned anyway.)
I'm one of the best/worst women when it comes to joking about penes (or should it be penii?), but the simple serious fact is that they are undesirable objects (with the possible exception of a bedroom containing 2 consenting adults) which should be heavily restricted.

(I'm aware that within my age group - I'm 21 - I'm not in the majority, but minorities are so often proved to be right!)

Why? And why is that our problem?

I would like to think I would say something to him, but I know that would depend on my level of confidence/motivation that day, how big and strong he was probably, and exactly where it was. In a changing room at the gym, I think I would. In a public toilet at a station or public place, probably not.

It’s tough then isn’t it. Why should their preferences trump women’s and men’s preferences to single sex spaces. That we are entitled to by law. Can you name one benefit to women especially of allowing males in to their single sex spaces and therefore making them mixed sex? No one so far has been able to answer this. Are you the one?

Why should we care what they want or don't want? No one ever asks what women want, do they?

No one gives a shit what we want when we have disabilities, or religious observances, or would just like some damned privacy and dignity.

They can use gender neutral facilities all they want and with our blessing, but transwomen must stay the hell out of our female spaces. They aren't women, they can't become women and they have no business co-opting what isn't for them.

The only place it’s likely to happen is a public loo where my husband can be nearby. There is a man who likes to do self manned photo shoots of himself in various exposing poses wearing flimsy mini skirts. If he tried to enter the women’s I would tell him the men’s are next door, and if he’s not comfortable in the me s, there is a unisex toilet a couple of hundred metres away.

in any other situation I would be having to calculate personal safety Verdi what is right.

The other women’s toilet is regularly stickers by pro women campaigners so he wouldn’t use those!

Based on what evidence, exactly?

We need more than imagination to justify removing safeguarding for women and girls.

If this is case, can you point to the campaign that will make male toilets in the UK safe for all male people?

I mean, there are other groups of male people that are just as vulnerable to attack by other male people, so where is this campaign?

Should any other group of vulnerable male people be allowed to use the female single sex spaces because it is 'quite dangerous' for them? Or just this group?

And you say you imagine that it is probably dangerous, yet there are male people with transgender identities who use the male single sex spaces in the UK everyday. One of these male people even documents it to assure other male people with transgender identities that it is safe. Do you have any evidence to back up your point?

So, how do we square those male people with transgender identities's experience where they are safely using the male single sex spaces with this narrative that it is so very unsafe?