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Original poster

What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex? Thread 2

141 replies

FattyMcFattyArse · 26/08/2025 10:35

Continuing the previous thread because it filled up. Really appreciating all the contributors giving their views, experiences and educating others.

What would YOU do if you came across a male dressed as a woman in a public ladies' loo?

Or indeed a woman presenting as a man in the men's toilets?

Would you confront them? Walk away and say nothing? Report it to staff?

OP posts:
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7
NPET · 28/08/2025 00:33

Oh I see the "how DARE you..." post was presumably meant for me!

lol btw means "laugh out loud"!

NPET · 28/08/2025 00:21

I don't understand how I've suddenly been drawn into this! Personally I like penises - some anyway!

Anthophile · 27/08/2025 21:05

bittertwisted · 27/08/2025 05:45

aside from the trans and toilet situation…..

how DARE you say that about boys. They are not undesirable, and you wouldn’t exist without a penis doing its job

your attitude is saying a penis is disgusting insults every mother of a son

I am embarrassed for you

Show quote history

a penis is disgusting

@NPET didn't call a penis disgusting. You may disagree with her view on penises, or even believe that such a view may be rule-breaking on this board, but you are claiming something that was not claimed.

Someone arguing that something is generally undesirable outside specific circumstances and needs to be heavily restricted is not the same as outright calling it disgusting, especially in the context of this board focused on women's sex-based rights, and by extension discussion on how to reduce the impact penises can have on them.

you wouldn't exist without a penis doing its job

I don't want to be pedantic but that's not entirely correct as it's possible to conceive and birth a baby without involving use of penis, via TESE for instance.

insults every mother of a son

I'm not sure if you're implying that on behalf of her son every mother should or would be insulted by how NPET sees a penis.

ayepecking · 27/08/2025 20:33

Artmumcreative · 26/08/2025 16:29

I'd imagine it's probably quite dangerous for transwomen to use men's toilets...

That is not our (women's problem).

BeLemonNow · 27/08/2025 20:24

bittertwisted · 27/08/2025 05:45

aside from the trans and toilet situation…..

how DARE you say that about boys. They are not undesirable, and you wouldn’t exist without a penis doing its job

your attitude is saying a penis is disgusting insults every mother of a son

I am embarrassed for you

Show quote history

I'm the original penis mentioner. There's nothing wrong, bad or disgusting about penises, just private. Unfortunately some people are brought up to think this way, I imagine it gets in the way of a healthy sex life (unless lesbian oc).

I have done life drawing, to me penises are a body part. Once a woman walked into the wrong room, saw our naked male model and was so shocked she froze and I had to gently usher her out and chat until she recovered!

That's a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing a naked man where you expect to see a french conversation class womens only changing room!

ManyShapesOfPasta · 27/08/2025 20:19

PariahHeep · 27/08/2025 13:18

Your instincts protect you, don’t disregard them.

This. All the 'be kind' shit is to encourage you to disregard what is trying to protect you. There's method in their badness.

It makes me absolutely furious that mothers are teaching their daughters to ignore their instincts, it's putting them in harms way.

Account734 · 27/08/2025 19:47

Artmumcreative · 26/08/2025 16:29

I'd imagine it's probably quite dangerous for transwomen to use men's toilets...

Yes, men can be dangerous. Exactly the reason we don't want men in dresses in private female spaces. The rates of sexual offenses of TW in prison is three times higher than men who don't identify. If TW fear for their safety, dress in a gender neutral manner and use the mens. Male violence against males is not a woman's problem to solve. We are not human shields.

Account734 · 27/08/2025 19:40

I would leave immediately and report it to staff. If I didn't fear getting punched in the face I'd confront them.

PariahHeep · 27/08/2025 13:18

Your instincts protect you, don’t disregard them.

This. All the 'be kind' shit is to encourage you to disregard what is trying to protect you. There's method in their badness.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 27/08/2025 13:04

Dawnb19 · 27/08/2025 00:16

I feel horrible saying this but I would have been scared. I'm a very nervous person anyway. If a man is walking behind me on a dog walk I'd be so scared. Maybe it's because I've seen too many episodes of criminal minds. 🤷 I was once followed when I was backpacking around Australia. Two men stopped me and had some sort of cult information booklet. I said I wasn't interested and walked along the path with trees either side heading towards the beach. I walked fast and they followed for about a minute and then luckily I bumped into a couple of dog walkers. They were local and walked with me to my hostel.

While 99.9% of the time It would probably be just a trans woman washing their hands my mind would jump at the worst case scenario.

I remember my criminology tutor telling me she once went swimming and when she was on drying herself she looked down and saw a phone. She shouted and he ran away. H was caught and got a suspended sentence. 🙄 My mind would have went to something like that.

It’s not “horrible”. Men should not be in female only spaces. Any man who disregards that is a red flag. Your instincts protect you, don’t disregard them.

JKBlanch · 27/08/2025 13:01

patiently reading the replies

NPET · 27/08/2025 12:45

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:00

It's not different. Women are in a state of partial undress in the toilets. Also washing out blood-stained underwear, blouses with baby sick or something else spilled, having a miscarriage, or fleeing to the ladies to escape a man.

How is those stages of vulnerability not the same as changing your clothes in a change room?

Show quote history

Not suggesting that men should be allowed into our toilets, but at least in there SOME of our "activities" are carried out within individual cubicles.

bittertwisted · 27/08/2025 05:45

NPET · 26/08/2025 17:51

Well you've used the p word so I will too! It's that "item" which makes all the difference. If you're unlucky enough (lol) to have a penis, you are NOT welcome in toilets, changing rooms, or anywhere else that is marked for v-sprouting members of society!
(As far as I'm concerned anyway.)
I'm one of the best/worst women when it comes to joking about penes (or should it be penii?), but the simple serious fact is that they are undesirable objects (with the possible exception of a bedroom containing 2 consenting adults) which should be heavily restricted.

(I'm aware that within my age group - I'm 21 - I'm not in the majority, but minorities are so often proved to be right!)

Show quote history

aside from the trans and toilet situation…..

how DARE you say that about boys. They are not undesirable, and you wouldn’t exist without a penis doing its job

your attitude is saying a penis is disgusting insults every mother of a son

I am embarrassed for you

PeonyPatch · 27/08/2025 04:22

Wouldn’t engage - wouldn’t feel comfortable to

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:22

SnowFrogJelly · 27/08/2025 00:48

I think I would have to clutch my pearls

Wow, you really are hateful and have no human compassion.

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:20

SnowFrogJelly · 27/08/2025 00:41

What are you scared of?!

Show quote history

Um, a male in an intimate female only space. Do you genuinely need it explained to you?

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:18

NormasArse · 26/08/2025 20:25

I don’t mind if you want to make him feel uncomfortable tbh, but if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t say anything.

Show quote history

You didn't answer the question. Is it ok for women and little girls to be made to feel uncomfortable? In a space that is specifically designed and designated to shield them from discomfort from males? Is it ok for a rape survivor like me to be made to feel uncomfortable? At least have some human compassion and decency to answer.

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:14

Artmumcreative · 26/08/2025 16:29

I'd imagine it's probably quite dangerous for transwomen to use men's toilets...

@Artmumcreative Why should males get to feel 'safer' at our expense. Females are not human shields for males. Why about my need to 'feel safe' in a female only intimate space? Don't we trauma victims have rights?

Btw, transwomen are very safe in the males, as has been said on here by others the worst they get, by transwomens own admission, is a smirk from other males. This is not and never was about 'safety'. It's about their VALIDATION as a woman, and using women in the space to give them validation.

What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex? Thread 2
What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex? Thread 2
What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex? Thread 2
user1492757084 · 27/08/2025 04:09

Ignore, not engage but report incase young female were to be going in alone soon.

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:07

Lavender14 · 26/08/2025 15:04

But again, women are not a monolith. I personally would not feel uncomfortable with this as others have said before, though I acknowledge that others feel very differently.

I do also think saying "throw on a dress" is very minimising and it really only speaks to the stereotypical notion of what a trans person - specifically a trans woman - is like. I know a trans man who is nearby 6 ft bearded and built. Its unlikely you'd be able to tell so it would not be appropriate for them to use the ladies and they would probably be called out - why should they have to explain their medical history to strangers? And at that rate what is stopping any other man coming in to the ladies and saying they're a trans man? Similarly there are trans women who "pass" very well and who also probably feel out of place in a men's toilet. This is where the argument falls apart for me because it only matters when it's someone who is 'obviously' transgender.

Ultimately if someone is acting inappropriately or being creepy etc then they need to be held to account for that. But simply being transgender is not automatically creepy or inappropriate. That's your perception of their motivation and not necessarily the reality.

Show quote history

Any male in a female only space - and remember, males are the oppressor and predator class, women are the oppressed and vulnerable class - is automatically a creepy predator.

Look at this (it's only a few second clip, and you don't need an X account) and tell me you still think this demonstrably male person should be in the ladies: https://x.com/OliLondonTV/status/1674501004174278656

https://x.com/OliLondonTV/status/1674501004174278656

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:00

NPET · 26/08/2025 13:21

I already have and I think it's quite a different thing. A man in a women's (or girls') changing room is a pervert afaic and I would find security to deal with it.

Show quote history

It's not different. Women are in a state of partial undress in the toilets. Also washing out blood-stained underwear, blouses with baby sick or something else spilled, having a miscarriage, or fleeing to the ladies to escape a man.

How is those stages of vulnerability not the same as changing your clothes in a change room?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/08/2025 03:54

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 03:52

But it's ok for women and girls, including rape survivors like me, to feel uncomfortable seeing a male in the ladies, @NormasArse ? But heaven help the men feel bad.... right?

The sooner these men are made to feel uncomfortable in the ladies, the sooner they will stop entering. Why tf should a man get to make women and little girls feel uncomfortable and you applaud that?

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Unfortunately some of them actually enjoy women's discomfort.

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 03:52

NormasArse · 26/08/2025 10:39

Nothing because I wouldn’t want them to feel uncomfortable.

I don’t agree with trans women competing as women in sport though.

But it's ok for women and girls, including rape survivors like me, to feel uncomfortable seeing a male in the ladies, @NormasArse ? But heaven help the men feel bad.... right?

The sooner these men are made to feel uncomfortable in the ladies, the sooner they will stop entering. Why tf should a man get to make women and little girls feel uncomfortable and you applaud that?

kiki777 · 27/08/2025 01:28

Scream 'there is a man in the ladies loo". I have no shame and will make the biggest stink ever. I don't want men no matter how they identify in female places. Period.