Pronouns she/they - what does that mean?

Doesn’t having both mean you are expected to use ‘she’ first and then if you refer to the person again in that discussion (verbal or written) you use ‘they’?

I am sure I saw a video where someone was ranting because someone got it wrong.

I think in the same way you wouldn’t indicate ethnicity/age/nationality in a pronoun because it isn’t relevant when talking about people, she doesn’t feel it is necessary to announce sex. She isn’t seeking to hide it when people meet her, just remove unnecessary (as she sees it) references to it.

It's very good of them/her to give me options for my own speech.

Yes that was sarcastic. I can see how nice she/they would be to tell me that my speech choices are my own, and that they/she doesn't intend to take offence. And I still think it's not quite OK, because it reinforces genderists in their mission to police everyone's speech and to enforce performative kindness. It seems to me that kindness that is just to display how kind I am has little to do with kindness that values the recipient.

I like this. There have been studies where the same emails is sent from male and female names and the male name gets better treatment. So if you are lucky enough to have a gender neutral name why ruin it by declaring! I also have always used Ms, I feel the question ‘is that miss or mrs’ which I am asked everywhere is basically asking if I’m married, which is none of their business.

It means they’re a) an idiot, b) indulging in performative specialness, c) trying to hop on the GI bandwagon or d) all of the above.

It means they’re a) an idiot, b) indulging in performative specialness, c) trying to hop on the GI bandwagon or d) all of the above.

I broadly agree with everything she says but whether she knows it or not she is signalling adherence to a much more insidious set of beliefs.

Like sure, you’ve put a swastika on your front door because you’re a Tibetan Buddhist trying to bring good luck to your household; but that’s not how most people are going to read it.

the forward slash in 'my pronouns are...' gushings was traditionally meant to separate subject [e.g. 'he'] and object [e.g. 'him'] pronouns, though I was never quite sure on the point of this since we all know that he-> him; she->her; they-> them.

a few worthy individuals such as this one then interpreted the point of forward slash being to denote ambiguity/multiple identities.

the mind does indeed boggle.

Remember when people were making up new pronouns right left and centre (zir, etc) - what happened to that?

Attention seeker.

You answer your own question
I really think some people just have a bit much time on their hands.

I must be very rude. I frequently use third person pronouns when talking about someone in her or his presence, and I don't stop to think whether I have referred to them by name a moment earlier. Third person pronouns are a convenience, mostly used automatically (without conscious thought). No-one has ever had a quiet word with me about my rudeness.

On the other hand, I have been shouted and screamed at, by a third person, for "misgendering" my son; I have known his sex since a few seconds after his birth, when midwife, doctor and I unanimously agreed. Nothing since has persuaded me that he is female, not his own declaration, not even his dresses, nice haircut and new glasses, nor all the people falling over themselves to be kind to him (but not kind at all to his bemused and distressed parents).

Most people don't have a gender neutral name though, so using "they" pronouns is just performative nonsense. And of the very few people who have a gender neutral name, even fewer of them do the kind of job where they can avoid interacting with people in person.

It's not progressive to think that hiding your female sex is the best way to be treated with respect. We should be demanding that society treats men and women with equal respect.

She’s either a mindless virtue signaller, or just wants to avoid getting into reputational trouble with the rainbow brigade in HR, or an internal work group. Either way it’s pretty pathetic.

The thing is if she doesn’t care whether people refer to her as “she” or “they” there’s no reason to say anything is there. The only possible reason is that she’s just hopping on the woke bandwagon and/or just wants attention. I’ve never had to state “my” pronouns because funnily enough everyone has always referred to me as “she” because I’m clearly female. Which 99.999% of women are. Even masculine looking women are clearly female. It’s just virtue signalling nonsense.

It just means she is being ridiculous and best ignored...

Because the grammatically correct pronouns perpetuate sexism ?

when I worked with people in different countries who didn’t recognise my name as female , they all use male default pronouns - all work was done by email and how they interacted with me was notably different and more respectful than when people knew my sex. I had a few laughs whenever we met and they jaws hit the ground

and we know that just knowing the sex of the person affects how people interact and interpret what you do - remember all those cvs sent out where the only difference was the name ( male or female ) and the males got far more interviews than the females?

making it easy to practise sexism just embeds it

I am all for neutral pronouns and names

Surely if you think people don't need to know your sex in everyday contexts, you wouldn't bother with pronouns at all?

That's an interesting take, I hadn't thought of it like that.

I don't think it's like using Ms though - which is clearly a female title equivalent to the male Mr. If the person you're referring to looks female and has a female name, people are going to identify her as female regardless of pronouns. The use of "they" is unlikely to the the only way her sex is announced (or announces itself).

It might just indicate that she knows she's going to be referred to as "they" from time to time, by people who don't know anything about her beyond her role at work, e.g. that she's the staff member in charge of ordering paperclips. 🤷🏼 So it might just be a way of saying she doesn't care.

It could be she doesn’t give a fuck and is just messing with the system

It means she's a woman who thinks she's not like the other women.

The good thing is that she's offered you a choice of pronouns so you can completely ignore the "they" and continue to refer to her as "she" without being reported to HR.