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Original poster

Prolapse OP denied whilst men are given plastic surgery for a mental illness

81 replies

Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 17:02

I’m 50. My bladder is hanging at my vaginal entrance. I can barely function. And I’m told my symptoms of extreme discomfort, Bach ache, bag ache, tingling, urinary incontinence, urgency, and no relief from needing the loo cant possibly be to do with the entire entrance of my vagina being blocked by a bulge frok my bladder. I can’t work, I can’t reliably walk my dog, I can’t even spend an hour cleaning without paying the price. Meanwhile mentally ill men are having HRT, and bottom surgery because they ‘feel’ uncomfortable.

Im fucking raging.

OP posts:
Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 22:03

Insideshangingout · 08/08/2025 21:13

I hear you OP. Rant away Flowers

It's a disgrace those of us living with these conditions are so overlooked. If I'd had daughters I would be telling them not to have children after what I've been through. The physical and emotional impact is real.

As for the "carry on living your life" with a severe prolapse comment upthread, that poster's "friend" might change her tune if she was living in an above ground floor HA flat (stairs only access) with highly competitive onstreet parking to carry all and sundry to do with kids and work back and forth every day.

I couldn’t agree more. I deeply regret having children and I done being told it makes me an awful woman fof feeling that way. They have been used as weapons, I’ve been left destitute trying to do my best gif them and now, just as a small light at either end of the tunnel appears my organs drop out of my cunt. Frankly I’m done and incredibly glad to hear my daughter tell me she doesn’t want children - long may her resolve continue: she’ll have a far better chance at a life.

OP posts:
Insideshangingout · 08/08/2025 21:41

Anchorage56 · 08/08/2025 21:32

Why are you with him?

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And perhaps she was expecting him to behave like a partner rather than a sulking brat because he can't get his leg over?

Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 21:39

Anchorage56 · 08/08/2025 21:32

Why are you with him?

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Would you be able to find a where else to live with two children, no family , and Statutory sick pay, no savings, minimum wage job and the imminent threat of losing your job ? If the answer is ‘yes’ then you are a better human than me

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 08/08/2025 21:32

Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 20:05

And my ‘I hate men’ comment was aimed at yet again being asked to justify being upset and uncomfortable to my supposed ‘partner’

I’ll await him feeling likd a dildo is hanging out of his arse ever day and then be short with him and demand he explains why he’s uncomfortable.,

Show quote history

Why are you with him?

Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 21:26

Jellywobbles2 · 08/08/2025 21:21

Go private: maybe take out an interest free credit card or loan? Probably worth the money. This country is a disgrace I don’t know why we bother paying our ridiculously high taxes.

Thank you for the advice but I’m not eligible for a 100000 personal loan

OP posts:
Jellywobbles2 · 08/08/2025 21:21

Go private: maybe take out an interest free credit card or loan? Probably worth the money. This country is a disgrace I don’t know why we bother paying our ridiculously high taxes.

Insideshangingout · 08/08/2025 21:13

I hear you OP. Rant away Flowers

It's a disgrace those of us living with these conditions are so overlooked. If I'd had daughters I would be telling them not to have children after what I've been through. The physical and emotional impact is real.

As for the "carry on living your life" with a severe prolapse comment upthread, that poster's "friend" might change her tune if she was living in an above ground floor HA flat (stairs only access) with highly competitive onstreet parking to carry all and sundry to do with kids and work back and forth every day.

FumingTRex · 08/08/2025 20:24

Hi OP, so sorry to hear this. You can get a pessary from your GP. There is a type you can put in and out yourself and it may help your symptoms while you get something else sorted.

The physio clearly didnt think it was minor so i would mention that in your complaint .

anyolddinosaur · 08/08/2025 20:17

If you have seen a consultant then your only real option is to see another consultant, even if that means going private. You can make a complaint about your care, speak to PALS about that, but it may not get you anywhere unfortunately. Would you consider going to a sexual health clinic, maybe they could suggest something?

Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 20:07

Lemonadeat8 · 08/08/2025 19:56

You are pointing the blame at a very small minority.

My friend works full time as a midwife, has two under 2 with a severe prolapse. You can still live your life.

No - you are displaying a reading comprehension problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

And my ‘I hate men’ comment was aimed at yet again being asked to justify being upset and uncomfortable to my supposed ‘partner’

I’ll await him feeling likd a dildo is hanging out of his arse ever day and then be short with him and demand he explains why he’s uncomfortable.,

OP posts:
OutsideLookingOut · 08/08/2025 20:04

This makes me so mad, especially the women telling you it is not so bad. I hope someone can suggest something helpful, women should not be expected to live like this.

Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

As my GP pointed out - there are women out there with what would be considered sever prolapses and barely have any symptoms.

I suggest you stop telling women yheir symptoms are bevause they are mentally unwell.

I was perfectly fine (as in my genitalia didn’t feel like something was hanging out, I needed to pee constantly, I didn’t feel like I needed to ‘push’, and o didng feel like I’d been kicked in the vulva) before this prolapse happened.

go away.

OP posts:
SummerHolidayMemories · 08/08/2025 19:57

Definitely sounds as though you need a second opinion if it’s all happened as you’ve described. It sounds as though they have said you don’t have much prolapse?! Is there possibly something else going on as well?

I’ve jgot a vaginal cyst that has increased in size over last 10 years. The decision was made to remove it via surgery immediately. A bit of a wait but I’m in very little discomfort so I would expect that.

My Mum got a Pessary for her prolapse without needing any referral at all.

Lemonadeat8 · 08/08/2025 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lemonadeat8 · 08/08/2025 19:56

You are pointing the blame at a very small minority.

My friend works full time as a midwife, has two under 2 with a severe prolapse. You can still live your life.

Gettingbysomehow · 08/08/2025 19:54

Bloody hell what a ridiculous carry on. I've investigated Nords clinic in Lithuania for my facelift next year. My sister lives there. They speak English. They may do this type of surgery also. I don't know it's worth asking. I rejected Turkey as being too risky.

Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 19:52

And most days my delightful ‘partner’ walks in, sees I’m upset and uncomfortable, and begrudgingly says ‘Whats wrong now’ and if I dare get angry and upset because he wants me to describe yet again what yhd problem is, I’m ‘abusive’

I hate men

OP posts:
Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 19:50

Gettingbysomehow · 08/08/2025 18:37

Just call them OP and ask for information about vaginal prolapses and ask them to email you the criteria in your as a starting point. That will tell you exactly what the NHS covers. This is very important as I have discovered, my patients who have been refused ops on say bunions now know what to say when they see a consultant and they have been accepted for surgery. Also ask if there are any specialist gynae hospitals you can be referred to, they often have different criteria.
I got referred to Queen Victoria hospital East Grinstead for an operation that had been refused on the NHS several times. Don't give up.

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I’ve found it.

They won’t find without physio first (referred 3 months ago - gynae consultant appointment came through first, still nothing from physio and GP didn’t want to refer bevause they didn’t see the point) and THEN after physio fails a pessarie (sexual assault survivor - and GP agreed I wasn’t a candidate on this basis of having to frequently go back for refits and cleaning) and only if these fail and a consultant agrees will they fund

So, I’m stumped at this point why they even bothered to send me to a consultant seeing as none of the rest had even happened.

Im sitting on a good day feeling like a dildo is half hanging out of me. I may aswell get a small loan and go to another country and take my chances

OP posts:
CassOle · 08/08/2025 19:27

This is insane!

Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 19:16

Londonmummy66 · 08/08/2025 18:30

Speak to PALs and ask how you could request a second opinion.

Already requested a second opinion - I’m sure it will take yet another two months to cond through.

GP referred my for physio (at my request, their examination - female Gp - concluded physio wouldn’t do anything as it was too far gone) three months ago, and has chased - no acknowledgement from physio at all.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 08/08/2025 18:37

Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 17:59

The Hank’s. Can you give me any more information of how o go about this please?

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Just call them OP and ask for information about vaginal prolapses and ask them to email you the criteria in your as a starting point. That will tell you exactly what the NHS covers. This is very important as I have discovered, my patients who have been refused ops on say bunions now know what to say when they see a consultant and they have been accepted for surgery. Also ask if there are any specialist gynae hospitals you can be referred to, they often have different criteria.
I got referred to Queen Victoria hospital East Grinstead for an operation that had been refused on the NHS several times. Don't give up.

Londonmummy66 · 08/08/2025 18:30

Speak to PALs and ask how you could request a second opinion.

winzomm · 08/08/2025 18:20

Gosh that is awful. I hope someone can help like the pp with further information.

Honestly you'd probably get medical help quicker in one of the countries to which we donate our billions of foreign aid.

Original poster
Typicalwave · 08/08/2025 17:59

Gettingbysomehow · 08/08/2025 17:12

You should be able to find the criteria for your op on your local ICB website OP. If it's not on there ring the integrated care board in your area and find out if they do special funding for it and if not whereabouts in the country it is available. I've managed to get several operations for my podiatry patients this way. One of them got the op 300 miles away and said the drive was worth it.
I agree though, why is this not a priority over an operation that is not only not a priority but damaging and unnecessary.

The Hank’s. Can you give me any more information of how o go about this please?

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