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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Single sex spaces

332 replies

piloswi · 08/08/2025 15:02

I’m confused with single sex spaces and trans people and what people want.

My understanding is everyone must use the single sex space of their biological sex (I might be wrong). This is only spoken about in terms of trans women now having to use men’s toilets, etc. But this means trans men must use women’s toilets. So someone who looks like a man but biologically isn’t but mostly (imo) you can’t really tell with trans men whereas you often can with trans women.

Is this what the majority want? Surely if people are worried about ‘predatory men’ pretending to be a trans woman to use single sex spaces then they could equally claim to be a trans man as you can’t really ask them to prove it can you?

I guess I’m just wondering if I’m missing the point the point? Are the majority happy with this? I’ve seen posts of people being very happy with the ruling but only have spoken about trans women.

I don’t want this to be a trans bashing thread. Just would like to know what people would like to see as their ideal for single sex spaces while still respecting people

OP posts:
MagpiePi · 10/08/2025 16:36

TheKeatingFive · 10/08/2025 11:48

And I'm not buying the whole 'we're so small' argument. The TRA movement managed to get laws changed, captured multiple institutions, undermined decades of safeguarding for women and girls.

If TW really want third spaces, they can put some of that extensive resource into campaigning for them. It should be a drop in the ocean compared to all that.

This sums it up perfectly. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

MarieDeGournay · 10/08/2025 19:02

boobleblingo · 10/08/2025 16:25

But our goals don't overlap.
Women don't need third spaces, we just want men to stay out of our single sex spaces, and we have enough on our plate defending those.

Agreed.

And we want able-bodied people to stay out of the accessible toilets - they are not compensation prizes for disgruntled able-bodied transpeople.

It took decades to get accessible toilets, and seeing them handed over as compromise 'third spaces' to people who do not need them shows how low down on the list disability rights are.

The rights of women and disabled people, which we thought were solidly held after decades, centuries even, of campaigning, can be removed in a flash at the behest of men so they can feel 'comfortable' or validated..

Feministamum · 17/09/2025 12:20

My ideal for a single sex space is that it is a single sex space, I am very happy with the ruling now is about compliance with that ruling

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 17/09/2025 15:07

MarieDeGournay · 10/08/2025 19:02

Agreed.

And we want able-bodied people to stay out of the accessible toilets - they are not compensation prizes for disgruntled able-bodied transpeople.

It took decades to get accessible toilets, and seeing them handed over as compromise 'third spaces' to people who do not need them shows how low down on the list disability rights are.

The rights of women and disabled people, which we thought were solidly held after decades, centuries even, of campaigning, can be removed in a flash at the behest of men so they can feel 'comfortable' or validated..

MarieDeGournay
And we want able-bodied people to stay out of the accessible toilets - they are not compensation prizes for disgruntled able-bodied transpeople.

Yesterday I had occasion to visit a health centre and needed the loo.

One room, marked as being for men and women and being a disabled toilet, and it had a changing table in it as well as a basin for handwashing. But to give the thing its due, it did at least have an alarm cord which came down almost to the ground, so if (perish forfend) I'd had a heart attack while I was in there, even though I couldn't have been seen from outside I might have been found before I died.

I don't suppose it would have been of any interest to Dr Upton, who'd simply have had to wait outside until I came out and wouldn't have been being validated in it at all.

Feministamum · 28/07/2026 10:11

Good question but the female sex trans would not want to use woman 's facilities and as trans people have clearly wanted to use unisex facilities that a unisex facility should be provided for them for all their trans genders to use. Single sex facilities should be provided exclusively for the male and female sex

NewBlueNoteBook · 28/07/2026 13:03

Feministamum · 28/07/2026 10:11

Good question but the female sex trans would not want to use woman 's facilities and as trans people have clearly wanted to use unisex facilities that a unisex facility should be provided for them for all their trans genders to use. Single sex facilities should be provided exclusively for the male and female sex

There are only male and female sex people. There isn’t anyone else.

EmpressDomesticatednottamed · 28/07/2026 13:39

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 17/09/2025 15:07

MarieDeGournay
And we want able-bodied people to stay out of the accessible toilets - they are not compensation prizes for disgruntled able-bodied transpeople.

Yesterday I had occasion to visit a health centre and needed the loo.

One room, marked as being for men and women and being a disabled toilet, and it had a changing table in it as well as a basin for handwashing. But to give the thing its due, it did at least have an alarm cord which came down almost to the ground, so if (perish forfend) I'd had a heart attack while I was in there, even though I couldn't have been seen from outside I might have been found before I died.

I don't suppose it would have been of any interest to Dr Upton, who'd simply have had to wait outside until I came out and wouldn't have been being validated in it at all.

Edited

I could point you to a cafe in a posh market town that has two enclosed cubicles, one for women, baby change and disabled people who can get up the narrow steps to it (so very much not accessible) and one whole one in solitary glory for guess who? Yup, men. One of the most bloody stupid arrangements I have come across lately.

The one for the 3 groups of people was very much occupied by what sounded like an entire family having a whale of a time and the women in the queue weren't going to just stand there next to an empty loo so we used the mens. I can't imagine what Dr Upton would have made of that, sad times.

Edited to add said loo was in a presentable state, we may have made other choices if it hadn't been, oh the joys of toilet roulette.

RareGoalsVerge · 28/07/2026 15:18

NewBlueNoteBook · 28/07/2026 13:03

There are only male and female sex people. There isn’t anyone else.

There isn't anyone else, but with basic levels of compassion and decency it is obvious that it is appropriate to provide a third option for anyone who doesn't want to use the facilities for their own sex, and it is obvious that legislation should be used to create an obligation to do so for those who don't have basic levels of compassion and decency. The fact that some of the people in question don't want to use a third space and want to use the wrong-sex option is irrelevant - they cannot claim they are being discriminated against if an appropriate unisex option exists, but it would certainly be discriminatory under current law to force them to use the facilities for their biological sex if they are so strongly convinced that this is wrong for them.

Approximately 20% of the population has a need for an accessible lavatory (not just people with mobility issues, there are a huge variety of accessibility needs). There should be legislation that requires that for any provider which is large enough to need to provide more than two lavatories, at least one third of the facilities must be fully accessible unisex facilities, at least one third must be single-sex for women, and the remainder for men, then everyone is fully provided for and there will be BETTER availability for those who need accessible facilities. More often at the moment the ratio is like 45% for men, 45% for women and 10% for people with an accessibility need, and I am not at all surprised that there is pushback about crowding more people into such limited facilities - but the solution is to require and mandate a better provision of universal facilities not try to force people to surrender their beliefs about themselves.

Women have the right to single-sex facilities. Any space that is for women that any male can enter just on a say-so is not single-sex but mixed-sex. Trans-identifying people should have the right to unisex facilities, whether or not they want them. There is no third sex and the law shouldn't pretend that there is, but when someone is getting on with living their life and just needs a dignified place to pee, that is not the right time to have an argument about science and facts, there just needs to be an appropriate and dignified place for that to happen which has no stigma attached to it.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 28/07/2026 15:28

If what special men want is spaces for special men, then surely it is for them to get out and campaign for these?

I am interested in why men who believe things about themselves that are not factual should be given any sort of free pass as a result of that belief: we wouldn't give them the right to play the piano at concerts if they believed they were concert pianists but were not, after all. We certainly would not feel we had to pay to build them a concert hall to perform in, or legislate to compel every workplace and leisure facility and public area to provide a piano for them.

WrongKindOfFeminist · 28/07/2026 15:42

Nobody really cares what space transmen use.

They don't present a threat.

For those who are the rare ones who pass, they may alarm women, so they should use a different space.

Most transmen are very aware of the impact they may have and don't wish to alarm other women.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 28/07/2026 15:49

Maybe as they grew up they were not socialised to see being violent, abusive, demanding, egotistical and threatening as acceptable? Nor were they taught that they mattered more than anyone else in the entire universe.

Needspaceforlego · 28/07/2026 17:01

WrongKindOfFeminist · 28/07/2026 15:42

Nobody really cares what space transmen use.

They don't present a threat.

For those who are the rare ones who pass, they may alarm women, so they should use a different space.

Most transmen are very aware of the impact they may have and don't wish to alarm other women.

I'm not so sure.
I think lots of older men wouldn't be too happy to share a hospital room with a transman.
And the same with some religious groups they wouldn't be too happy with their young men sharing with young women in youth hostels or other sleeping accommodation.

I also think young transmen could be putting themselves at risk in certain situations where young men think they are "up for it".

But generally toilets and the like it probably doesn't matter.

Feministamum · 28/07/2026 17:24

Gender ideologists who are calling themselves the male or female gender should have their own separate toilet facilties for people who are gender ideologists. Single sex toilets are exclusively for the female and male sex

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 28/07/2026 17:27

Or they could do what every single one of them did before about 2010: either piss in the toilets provided for their sex, or hold it until they got home.

Keeptoiletssafe · 28/07/2026 21:13

RareGoalsVerge · 28/07/2026 15:18

There isn't anyone else, but with basic levels of compassion and decency it is obvious that it is appropriate to provide a third option for anyone who doesn't want to use the facilities for their own sex, and it is obvious that legislation should be used to create an obligation to do so for those who don't have basic levels of compassion and decency. The fact that some of the people in question don't want to use a third space and want to use the wrong-sex option is irrelevant - they cannot claim they are being discriminated against if an appropriate unisex option exists, but it would certainly be discriminatory under current law to force them to use the facilities for their biological sex if they are so strongly convinced that this is wrong for them.

Approximately 20% of the population has a need for an accessible lavatory (not just people with mobility issues, there are a huge variety of accessibility needs). There should be legislation that requires that for any provider which is large enough to need to provide more than two lavatories, at least one third of the facilities must be fully accessible unisex facilities, at least one third must be single-sex for women, and the remainder for men, then everyone is fully provided for and there will be BETTER availability for those who need accessible facilities. More often at the moment the ratio is like 45% for men, 45% for women and 10% for people with an accessibility need, and I am not at all surprised that there is pushback about crowding more people into such limited facilities - but the solution is to require and mandate a better provision of universal facilities not try to force people to surrender their beliefs about themselves.

Women have the right to single-sex facilities. Any space that is for women that any male can enter just on a say-so is not single-sex but mixed-sex. Trans-identifying people should have the right to unisex facilities, whether or not they want them. There is no third sex and the law shouldn't pretend that there is, but when someone is getting on with living their life and just needs a dignified place to pee, that is not the right time to have an argument about science and facts, there just needs to be an appropriate and dignified place for that to happen which has no stigma attached to it.

A lot of what you are talking about here is already in place. Approved Document M is for accessibility. It talks about separate sex toilet washrooms and accessible toilets.

More often at the moment the ratio is like 45% for men, 45% for women and 10% for people with an accessibility need’
This is wrong. There’s always been more toilets for men if you count in urinals. This is historic as men got public toilets first. Older buildings have to create areas for toilets as flushing toilets would have been rare inside buildings only a few generations ago. Accessible toilets are tricky as they need to be accessible! A shockingly low number of accessible toilets conform to modern standards.

There is guidance in other documents such as British Standards about the calculations for the numbers of facilities based on venue type and also sex of users. In non domestic premises with equal numbers of men and women, it’s recommended women have twice as many toilets, for equality. Urinals can be counted as toilets in the overall number but there does need to be toilets within the men’s too. There’s also a calculation you need 25% extra toilets if they have sinks within the compartment as it takes longer per user.

What’s been legislation, regulations and guidance all needs to be tidied up. There’s a lot of historical problems getting buildings up to date. Even Approved Document T in 2024 was retrospective. However, when the Supreme Court effectively defined the toilet pictograms, businesses who had not been following standards (that have been in place for decades) were in a mess.

There doesn’t need to be as many as one third unisex facilities.

The accessible is usually unisex and has a much larger footprint with an alarm and rails etc.

In a separate sex washroom there is an ambulant toilet, usually at the end of a row with a door that opens outwards and handrails.

All this has been already been worked out. If I go into a cubicle I can see who has refurbished toilets or is a newer build and follows regs because they will be hooks in certain places at certain heights etc.

Why shouldn’t everyone have access to a single sex toilet? What change I would like to see is separate sex toilet washrooms being inclusive of non ambulant people too - it would also serve for parents with children in pushchairs. That would free up the mixed sex accessible for people who need the extra privacy or adults with different sex carers.

NewBlueNoteBook · 28/07/2026 21:39

RareGoalsVerge · 28/07/2026 15:18

There isn't anyone else, but with basic levels of compassion and decency it is obvious that it is appropriate to provide a third option for anyone who doesn't want to use the facilities for their own sex, and it is obvious that legislation should be used to create an obligation to do so for those who don't have basic levels of compassion and decency. The fact that some of the people in question don't want to use a third space and want to use the wrong-sex option is irrelevant - they cannot claim they are being discriminated against if an appropriate unisex option exists, but it would certainly be discriminatory under current law to force them to use the facilities for their biological sex if they are so strongly convinced that this is wrong for them.

Approximately 20% of the population has a need for an accessible lavatory (not just people with mobility issues, there are a huge variety of accessibility needs). There should be legislation that requires that for any provider which is large enough to need to provide more than two lavatories, at least one third of the facilities must be fully accessible unisex facilities, at least one third must be single-sex for women, and the remainder for men, then everyone is fully provided for and there will be BETTER availability for those who need accessible facilities. More often at the moment the ratio is like 45% for men, 45% for women and 10% for people with an accessibility need, and I am not at all surprised that there is pushback about crowding more people into such limited facilities - but the solution is to require and mandate a better provision of universal facilities not try to force people to surrender their beliefs about themselves.

Women have the right to single-sex facilities. Any space that is for women that any male can enter just on a say-so is not single-sex but mixed-sex. Trans-identifying people should have the right to unisex facilities, whether or not they want them. There is no third sex and the law shouldn't pretend that there is, but when someone is getting on with living their life and just needs a dignified place to pee, that is not the right time to have an argument about science and facts, there just needs to be an appropriate and dignified place for that to happen which has no stigma attached to it.

My experience is that a lot of transwomen absolutely do not want to use a third space. If they did want them they’d have campaigned for them.

Validation that they are “real women” requires the use of the women’s toilets.

They complain that to use a third space would be “outing”.

A programme of building (entirely unnecessary) third spaces would be extremely costly for both private and public organisations in the service of a very small demographic.

JanesLittleGirl · 28/07/2026 22:38

NewBlueNoteBook · 28/07/2026 21:39

My experience is that a lot of transwomen absolutely do not want to use a third space. If they did want them they’d have campaigned for them.

Validation that they are “real women” requires the use of the women’s toilets.

They complain that to use a third space would be “outing”.

A programme of building (entirely unnecessary) third spaces would be extremely costly for both private and public organisations in the service of a very small demographic.

I'm with you. I am completely done with this shit. There are more than enough universal toilets already. The TiMs can use an app to find them; use the gents; wait until they get home or piss themselves. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Keeptoiletssafe · 29/07/2026 00:41

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 28/07/2026 17:27

Or they could do what every single one of them did before about 2010: either piss in the toilets provided for their sex, or hold it until they got home.

In 2008 there was a big cross party Government consultation on public toilets. It discussed disabilities, the loss of provision to misuse, effects on elderly people, and also sex including gay sex, drugs, vandalism, voyeurism, the Sexual Offences Act all in a very matter of fact way. At no point was men or women going in to the wrong toilets for their sex brought up in discussion.

Keeptoiletssafe · 29/07/2026 01:08

Keeptoiletssafe · 28/07/2026 21:13

A lot of what you are talking about here is already in place. Approved Document M is for accessibility. It talks about separate sex toilet washrooms and accessible toilets.

More often at the moment the ratio is like 45% for men, 45% for women and 10% for people with an accessibility need’
This is wrong. There’s always been more toilets for men if you count in urinals. This is historic as men got public toilets first. Older buildings have to create areas for toilets as flushing toilets would have been rare inside buildings only a few generations ago. Accessible toilets are tricky as they need to be accessible! A shockingly low number of accessible toilets conform to modern standards.

There is guidance in other documents such as British Standards about the calculations for the numbers of facilities based on venue type and also sex of users. In non domestic premises with equal numbers of men and women, it’s recommended women have twice as many toilets, for equality. Urinals can be counted as toilets in the overall number but there does need to be toilets within the men’s too. There’s also a calculation you need 25% extra toilets if they have sinks within the compartment as it takes longer per user.

What’s been legislation, regulations and guidance all needs to be tidied up. There’s a lot of historical problems getting buildings up to date. Even Approved Document T in 2024 was retrospective. However, when the Supreme Court effectively defined the toilet pictograms, businesses who had not been following standards (that have been in place for decades) were in a mess.

There doesn’t need to be as many as one third unisex facilities.

The accessible is usually unisex and has a much larger footprint with an alarm and rails etc.

In a separate sex washroom there is an ambulant toilet, usually at the end of a row with a door that opens outwards and handrails.

All this has been already been worked out. If I go into a cubicle I can see who has refurbished toilets or is a newer build and follows regs because they will be hooks in certain places at certain heights etc.

Why shouldn’t everyone have access to a single sex toilet? What change I would like to see is separate sex toilet washrooms being inclusive of non ambulant people too - it would also serve for parents with children in pushchairs. That would free up the mixed sex accessible for people who need the extra privacy or adults with different sex carers.

Sorry my last post didn’t read correctly - to clarify, Approved Doc T (2024) was applicable for non domestic refurbs and new builds in England (with a few exceptions). However, after the Supreme Court verdict, this takes on greater importance.

PeachyDaisy · 29/07/2026 01:42

I know a lot of people talk about safety but safety isn't my biggest reason for wanting single sex toilets. I personally don't fear using mixed toilets/spaces, I just don't like them. They tend to be dirtier and I don't want to be anywhere near a urinal.

Obviously this is just my own feelings. I am not speaking for other women, just expressing myself and my own views.

RareGoalsVerge · 29/07/2026 09:28

PeachyDaisy · 29/07/2026 01:42

I know a lot of people talk about safety but safety isn't my biggest reason for wanting single sex toilets. I personally don't fear using mixed toilets/spaces, I just don't like them. They tend to be dirtier and I don't want to be anywhere near a urinal.

Obviously this is just my own feelings. I am not speaking for other women, just expressing myself and my own views.

It's not just about safety. When a male is in a purportedly female space he doesn't have to do anything for the women there to feel violated and invaded, and it's even worse if they have a handmaiden/cheerleader fawning to make them feel welcome. Just their presence communicates "you have no rights to autonomy over who you are vulnerable with. I have the power here. You have no power." It's deeply upsetting and very much part of patriarchal oppression.

"But I didn't even attack you" is not a reason for it to be ok. The idea that "not being physically attacked today" is the standard of dignity we should be content with is deeply misogynistic.

Keeptoiletssafe · 29/07/2026 09:30

What comes back in toilet surveys the things that always come up top in ‘wants’ are clean toilets that don’t smell, that have warm water and soap.

As it should be. The other stuff should already be in place.

AimsAndObjectives · 29/07/2026 09:48

Keeptoiletssafe · 29/07/2026 09:30

What comes back in toilet surveys the things that always come up top in ‘wants’ are clean toilets that don’t smell, that have warm water and soap.

As it should be. The other stuff should already be in place.

What comes back in toilet surveys the things that always come up top in ‘wants’ are clean toilets that don’t smell, that have warm water and soap.

Do the surveys show that men want that as much as women?

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 29/07/2026 10:55

Keeptoiletssafe · 29/07/2026 00:41

In 2008 there was a big cross party Government consultation on public toilets. It discussed disabilities, the loss of provision to misuse, effects on elderly people, and also sex including gay sex, drugs, vandalism, voyeurism, the Sexual Offences Act all in a very matter of fact way. At no point was men or women going in to the wrong toilets for their sex brought up in discussion.

That rather supports my feeling, that this simply was not ever considered at all, by anyone. If someone in jeans and a jacket was "challenged" about going towards the ladies, it wasn't confrontational: it was someone wanting to save what they thought was a bloke from embarrassment.

Keeptoiletssafe · 29/07/2026 11:22

AimsAndObjectives · 29/07/2026 09:48

What comes back in toilet surveys the things that always come up top in ‘wants’ are clean toilets that don’t smell, that have warm water and soap.

Do the surveys show that men want that as much as women?

Yes. There’s loads of surveys that say similar. Women want clean toilets more than men. For example, this survey below on council run public toilets covers male and female opinions. It says ‘gender’ as it’s a polite term for sex. Most older publications on toilets do which shows how quickly language has changed.
https://www.rsph.org.uk/media/filer_public/0a/f7/0af7df7c-2fd8-4ca7-a81a-1e4fecd226d1/taking_the_p.pdf

Also in this publication (2019) shows the beginnings of unisex ‘wants’ linked to the American term ‘potty parity’ (blergh) which mentions unisex toilets for transgender individuals. This movement (no pun intended) came from America. Unisex toilets are discussed as not being popular then right at the end it gets its own section.

Just to note there’s not a consensus in what is a ‘public toilet’ which is sometimes why I say ‘non-domestic toilet’ as that’s also the building regulations term.

In the Sexual Offences Act 71Sexual activity in a public lavatory
it states 1)A person commits an offence if—
(a)he is in a lavatory to which the public or a section of the public has or is permitted to have access, whether on payment or otherwise……

So that covers most venues.

Single sex spaces
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