My therapist seems politically opposed to my feminist views

I can't believe you stalked your therapist on SM. That's so intrusive. The trust is gone because you have no boundaries.

I think your post and wording is unduly rude tbh (wind your neck in is quite aggressive) It may sound prescriptive because it's a fact - to effectively do therapy you need to not be lying to your therapist or you're just cheating yourself out of money. If OP wants to throw money down the drain she's welcome to, and I'm welcome to give my (very experienced) opinion on what would help OP in therapy if she actually wants to do the work and get better.
OP is in therapy to work her her trauma. Primary and secondary trauma are very different and when you're struggling with primary trauma (as OP is) it's not actually helpful to get bogged down in the details and specifics of the secondary trauma (what the SC ruling is bringing up) in the way you would with the specifics of a primary traumatic event that you need to process and integrate. With secondary trauma, it's more helpful if the discussion is about why and how this is triggering, a discussion she can't have when she isn't being honest about how this situation has brought up feelings on unsafety or lack of trust. What you're calling prescriptive is the theory of therapy and I asked OP which modality she is doing to see if there was any more specific relevant advice.

I can't see that you've made made a helpful contribution except to basically post a snarky comment. I'm entitled to give my informed opinion to OP given she has posted a public thread and she is welcome to ignore it as well. You're welcome to make your unhelpful snarky comments but it's sad you feel the need to do so. I would suggest you reflect on why that makes you feel good about yourself in some way but I wouldn't wanna be too prescriptive ☺️

You are being unduly prescriptive about what the op 'should' be doing. While it's fine to suggest she reflects, telling her she's doing it wrong is really unhelpful. I'd suggest you wind your neck in.

But you did trust and feel safe with him, you've been doing good work with him by the sounds of it. The point of therapy is supposed to be creating that confidence and safety within yourself which is why it's not a good idea to try and construct an idea of who your therapist is / gather information on their views outside of sessions , what matters is what happens IN session where they are there as your therapist, not a friend or acquaintance and whether you feel like you can talk openly and start to process and integrate the trauma you went through. It sounds like in your sessions he has been entirely attentive in listening to what you have to say and hasn't challenged any views, and given their line of work is absolutely a safe and supportive space for you to discuss your trauma and doesn't see you as secondary. If you really feel you need to somehow "agree" on this, and you don't want to be open with your therapist about what you found, you need to just look for a new therapist ASAP as the therapeutic relationship and it's boundaries are shot otherwise, especially if you're describing him in the way of your recent post "lacking critical thinking skills" etc. I still maintain you are getting distracted on other issues rather than the internal work you're meant to be doing. Whether you and your therapist agree on the SC ruling or not really does have nothing to do with the work you're doing, even if you feel its related you're deflecting from the deeper work hence why if this is really on your mind you need to speak honestly with him or just move to someone new.

Well done for speaking up @idontknowhowtodreamyourdreamsit sounds like it was cathartic. You found your voice and spoke your truth. A great achievement whatever happens with your therapy from now on.

Looks like I missed a scold from our regular buzzy plopper. I don’t know what they said but having seen them on way too many other threads I suggest ignoring them. They haven’t made a worthwhile contribution yet and that’s not likely to change anytime soon.

I cannot believe that a male poster imposed on this thread to demonstrate exactly the issue that the OP is concerned about.

OP I read your update and I am so pleased you spoke up.

I think it is only natural that you still have concerns.

bee this is a thread started by a survivor of male sexual violence. Take your misogyny away from here

I prefer to let posts stand for education of lurkers but I'm reporting your intrusion

Erm no.

But then you know that already.

@thelongestwayhome
That's a very powerful post.
Almost like there's a role reversal going on in the sense of client looking after the therapist.

Of course, it would be lovely to think that the guy is doing some deep introspection about his bias in between OP's sessions.

I read through your updates OP. I’m so sorry for all you went through as a child and teenager, that was really rough, credit to you for your strength and courage to keep going and make a life for yourself having had to face that evil at such a young age.

Whatever happens with this therapist, you will get there. I see you’re in tender spot right now but it really is a journey/process and it is worth it. You are worth it.

Honestly though I feel uneasy about where you’re at with this man.
You seem to have put so much thought into how to handle this and what to say to him and all the ethics of looking at his social media. You’re posting here for support. You’re left shaken and distressed, fuelling yourself on coffee. Feeling the need to educate him.
Where is he in all this? Trying to move the conversation on? Smiling sweetly but not really getting it? Making his next banner to support the eradication of single sex spaces?

Never mind you trying to work out what to say to him, the crux of the matter is what he can say to you that will allow you continue to open your heart to him. It’s on him. Have you spent time working out what you need to hear from him?
And how will you believe him given what you’ve seen and without telling him what you’ve seen? What is the resolution you envisage?

Again honestly, I don’t see how this can be reconciled. It’s 2025. Unless there’s some extraordinary explanation ( which you are not going to know without asking) he is a trans rights activist. He doesn’t believe in single sex spaces for women and girls. There are contradictions and difficulties here that are not yours to fix. Why are you taking on this job?

With respect and love, what is going on with your feelings for this man? It feels like you have a connection and big emotional investment that may not be in your best interests. Is that what motivated you to have a look at his social media?
No shame meant.

Your process belongs to you of course and you know the situation best. In the end there is no one right or wrong way. Sometimes these difficult situations turn out to be the impetus for just the right learning or changes we need. Though it never feels like it at the time!

Very very best wishes.

Speaking as someone who has had a LOT of therapy, and also had therapists as colleagues, I agree with this being general good therapy advice. The more honest you can be with your therapist, the deeper the work.

However.

OP isn't talking a relatively trivial difference of opinion like voting history. She's talking about having discovered that her therapist has actively campaigned for some males to be allowed to override women's consent over who they share their bodies with in vulnerable situations. And OP is a female victim of male sexual violence. Eg males overriding her boundaries and consent.

That's HUGE in my opinion.

OP I also shook my way through exploring this in therapy. It is transference of sorts, in the sense that the therapist could represent the institutions such as the NHS or CPS or Met Police, all of whom have authority and tell us they act in our best interests and yet have treated women with utter disdain. Or they could represent the privileged "be kind" friends you fear may up and leave your life after calling you a bigot and getting you sacked.

But it's also not simply transference because the fear is very, very real. We've seen that being a member of a professional organisation doesn't actually guarantee that a person won't treat you with disdain and call you a bigot. Just look at Sandie Peggie.

Oh and EVERYONE I know in therapy has googled their therapist. And all kids Google their teachers. Therapists and teachers ought to expect this.

yo crossed a massive boundary regards social media this is not therapists fault.

Hard disagree. I do a job that brings me into view of members of the public where my name and job title are in the public domain.

we are taught to work on the assumption that we WILL be the subject of a google search, and consequently I have made damn sure my online presence is locked down to what I want ppl to see — a very brief LinkedIn profile, and if you dig a bit more, a couple of press articles mentioning me in a work context. (Ie, I have something out there, but not too much)

My personal media is in a pseudonym, and has no photos of me so I can’t easily be found by an image search. This is completely normal, and everyone I work with is similar, I cannot imagine not thinking someone will look you up.

and interestingly my therapist was exactly the same, I could find a LinkedIn profile, his phd thesis, and a few press articles about various facets of his work. Nothing else. Tbh, I’d lose respect for someone who didn’t bother to lock their private online presence down in that context.

This is exactly why you should discuss this truthfully at your next session -especially if you're experiencing any doubt about disclosing things to him. It's normal basically but not helpful, your therapist isn't someone in your life the way any of the other people are - they're a professional purely there to help you and I think trying to flesh them out into who they are outside of your sessions is just distracting from the work and breaking the boundary of the space that is supposed to be focused on you. Ideally, reflecting back on what came up in a previous session should be reflecting on how therapy is going, what's going on with you, what you may want to discuss next session etc rather than leading you to think of him as a person. Your therapist is there to help you examine yourself and your thoughts and the reflection between sessions should be inwards rather than redirecting to thinking about your therapist as a person. It's a very normal thing that comes up in therapy which is why if you mention it to your therapist they will be able to explain to you why so you can process it and not be distracted by thinking of your therapist with curiosity and stay focused on yourself, properly understanding those boundaries will make the work you're doing more effective. I think especially given the way you've described your anxiety around this situation you're really ruminating on what your therapist may think of you, if they will find you likable, if you guys share a viewpoint and then not feeling you can honestly tell him you looked him up etc is a sign of something you should be examining in therapy.

Out of curiosity, which modality of therapy are you doing?

I completely disagree.

In 2025, if you think there is a boundary around a public social media account, you really need to go on an on-line safety course.

You should only share things that you are completely happy for the entire world to see.

He is entitled to his own beliefs, and if he makes them public, he is intentionally sharing them, just as if he were on a public demonstration - which apparently he was.

But have you identified in yourself WHY you felt the need to search him? Presumably you'd already seen his professional online presence so this would have been specifically searching for his personal one. Before you found what you found, what were you looking for? Were you thinking of them between sessions? What made you look?

so you would not mind if therapist went out of their way to look for your sm pages then as it not a big deal